sinnister Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 (edited) Knowing and not implying that I'm an alpha either, I'm knowingly choosing to still love a person the neither loves me or the memory and knowing she banged another dude, I'll admit that so it was my inner human/rs talking don't take it as personally as it sounded. Let me leave you to it as it's getting too depressing for me. I still respect you and good luck with it. When you get the IT and want to talk about it..I'm ready to try to give insight to her motivations and next play. I'm sorry again. I did say to some Brits I meet out there that men are getting a bit too passive...they agreed. I see why. It's so easy to make people pushovers...asking a simple question is not PIing or investigating..it's just a ask for some return for your investment...she's put u here before. But let it be GIGS or whatever and stay NC if it makes you safe..but you're asking co-workers..strangers. and a lot of people, having them extrapolate the IT/IF and I swear to you they're thinking the same thing. On my life I swear. Sorry to push it so hard..but it's not being a PI to want to know if you were with a cheater. It's one last question so you can make up your own mind as well if it is something u want to accept. Broken up..not broken up..she still loves you...she still wants a r/s. This still isn't a break up...maybe semantically..but mutual feelings r still there...you're choosing to let it be instead of asking doing the hard work..cause you're scared what you'd find and you want to keep her smelling like roses as she's trying to save as well. It wasn't ever a r/s if this is the case. Lastly, I couldn't be with someone I couldn't..was scared to trust and didn't respect my feelings. At least mine did..before the communication broke down..yours does to from what I see...you have to make this a r/s again. One simple question..then N/C...you've been so patient with this so far. How does this make you a loser? Edited June 2, 2011 by sinnister Link to post Share on other sites
sinnister Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 And if people weren't so scared here of offending you and making you ask the tough questions and going against Homebrew's quitter insight...they'll be saying the same thing. I'm new and seem cocky...this has been one of the most important threads here so far..and respectable ones...and like only 2 people have been posting opinions on it...that speaks louder than anything in my opinion. I should've been scared to say anything too..my mistake here. Link to post Share on other sites
sinnister Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 THIS IS SO MONEY!!!!!!!! Print this out and when you are having bad moments... read it and follow what it says! I couldn't have said it any better myself! Whatever quitter. I wished I worked for the dicks...I'd always take your chick, lol. Keep your grass the greenest...some one else will always be living in the house u once had on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fedor Posted June 2, 2011 Author Share Posted June 2, 2011 Knowing and not implying that I'm an alpha either, I'm knowingly choosing to still love a person the neither loves me or the memory and knowing she banged another dude, I'll admit that so it was my inner human/rs talking don't take it as personally as it sounded. Let me leave you to it as it's getting too depressing for me. I still respect you and good luck with it. When you get the IT and want to talk about it..I'm ready to try to give insight to her motivations and next play. I'm sorry again. I did say to some Brits I meet out there that men are getting a bit too passive...they agreed. I see why. It's so easy to make people pushovers...asking a simple question is not PIing or investigating..it's just a ask for some return for your investment...she's put u here before. But let it be GIGS or whatever and stay NC if it makes you safe..but you're asking co-workers..strangers. and a lot of people, having them extrapolate the IT/IF and I swear to you they're thinking the same thing. On my life I swear. Sorry to push it so hard..but it's not being a PI to want to know if you were with a cheater. It's one last question so you can make up your own mind as well if it is something u want to accept. Broken up..not broken up..she still loves you...she still wants a r/s. This still isn't a break up...maybe semantically..but mutual feelings r still there...you're choosing to let it be instead of asking doing the hard work..cause you're scared what you'd find and you want to keep her smelling like roses as she's trying to save as well. It wasn't ever a r/s if this is the case. Lastly, I couldn't be with someone I couldn't..was scared to trust and didn't respect my feelings. At least mine did..before the communication broke down..yours does to from what I see...you have to make this a r/s again. One simple question..then N/C...you've been so patient with this so far. How does this make you a loser? You dont think I want to ask! lol Of course I do but a relationship goes both ways. If its another dude, I'm going to trust that she has enough respect for me to tell me so. And if I tried contacting her, she wouldnt reply anyway so it would be pointless. I was thinking about asking her girls but thats childish. Do I want to accept these things? Hell no I dont. I want to talk to her when she has a clear head as well. This is all still fresh. Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Fedor, both Homebrew and Sinister make good points. Just leave it alone. Tell her off, stand up for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fedor Posted June 2, 2011 Author Share Posted June 2, 2011 8. If an EX that dumped me wants a second chance... It's not MY JOB to get them to want me. It's THEIR JOB to get me to want them. __________________ This is how I'm looking at it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fedor Posted June 2, 2011 Author Share Posted June 2, 2011 Fedor, both Homebrew and Sinister make good points. Just leave it alone. Tell her off, stand up for yourself. I did stand up for myself but swallowed some of my pride at the same time. It's done now. I'm going to leave it as if but will continue to try to heal while doing some thinking at the same time because it still hurts so bad. Being told that I wasnt loved is what hurt the most. Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Take it to the next level and tell her that despite giving her the benefit of the doubt, there is legitimate doubt. Until such a time where she comes with straight answers you don't want anything to do with her. Don't say anything else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fedor Posted June 2, 2011 Author Share Posted June 2, 2011 Take it to the next level and tell her that despite giving her the benefit of the doubt, there is legitimate doubt. Until such a time where she comes with straight answers you don't want anything to do with her. Don't say anything else. I'd rather have her think about me without me reminding her that I still think about her. Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted June 2, 2011 Share Posted June 2, 2011 Goodluck. I am trying to help you draw personal boundaries man. Before you get to where I'm at. I respect your decision. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fedor Posted June 2, 2011 Author Share Posted June 2, 2011 Thank you. A part of me wishes I could go back and correct alot of the mistakes I made with her. Thinking about it this morning, I took her love and sweetness for granted. I thought it was always going to be there no matter what I did. Even though I feel like I gave her everything I could, there was some points in the relationship where I could have done a way better job. It doesnt matter anyway because I cant go back in time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fedor Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 Her graduation was tonight. I cant believe I missed it. I want to tell her congrats but I know I shouldnt break NC. Today has been a bad day I want her to tell me she misses me. Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Fedor, She probably does miss you to some extent... that's just not enough right now. Stay strong, keep NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fedor Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 Fedor, She probably does miss you to some extent... that's just not enough right now. Stay strong, keep NC. Thank you for the encouragement but thats what bothers me the most. Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Fedor, The way things are right now are not the way things will always be. She may come around, she may not. I'm an idiot and honestly believe my ex (who's sleeping with an Irishman in a third world country as we speak) is going to realize the mistake she's made (or get dumped) and come back to me... whether genuinely contrite and remorseful or not is another question entirely. But maybe she won't. We'll be ok. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fedor Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 Fedor, The way things are right now are not the way things will always be. She may come around, she may not. I'm an idiot and honestly believe my ex (who's sleeping with an Irishman in a third world country as we speak) is going to realize the mistake she's made (or get dumped) and come back to me... whether genuinely contrite and remorseful or not is another question entirely. But maybe she won't. We'll be ok. Well said. I'm an idiot to. Wish I wasnt because I just want to move on. It's not right to keep someone in limbo. But I hope the best for your situation. And your right, we will be ok. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fedor Posted June 6, 2011 Author Share Posted June 6, 2011 Had a really great night. Went out with my buddies and even got a girls #. I'm not going to pursue anything with this girl but its refreshing to know that someone else wants me. The ex still weighed on my mind though. I know she is the girl I want to marry Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fedor Posted June 6, 2011 Author Share Posted June 6, 2011 She is weighing heavy on my mind today. I want to pick up my phone and talk to her! I want to hear her voice! Ohh boy lol Link to post Share on other sites
sun_moon Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Fedor, I think your doing the right thing by staying away. She made her point, she said to leave her alone. This is a person that is struggling between her mind and her emotions, her mind wants something else, but her heart is aching and is pining, whether she loves you, doesnt love you, doesnt know, the outcome is still the same, it has ended. She did love you while you two were together, no one knows what she feels now, except her. You are doing the best thing for yourself by leaving it alone. Like Homebrew stated over and over, and I totally agree, why chase someone that doesn't "want" to be with you. I disagree completely with Sinnister, I really dont think you should think the worse about her, whether she's dating someone or not, dont drive yourself crazy over it. It doesnt help your healing process but hinders it. Moving on or not, she is not with you anymore, and it was her choice. Now, its your choice to leave with dignity, let her be her, be free, whatever she is persuing and go live your life. The breadcrumbs she's throwing at you are very cruel but it doesn't seem she's conscience of the pain she's causing. I probably dont have to say this, but just in case, be mindful of the opinions your getting, one seems to be a strong case of projecting. Dont get egged on by a battle that is foreign to you. Stick to the facts. She ended things, she is texting you telling you she cares, she still hasnt changed her mind. Dont obsess over her life, obsess about yours, it will be the best decision you make for yourself. And as to your last 2 posts, um yeah, I miss him too, in my mind I talk to him and he responds nicely. I come back to reality and think eh that would have been nice, but back to taking each day as it comes and focusing on ME. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fedor Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 Fedor, I think your doing the right thing by staying away. She made her point, she said to leave her alone. This is a person that is struggling between her mind and her emotions, her mind wants something else, but her heart is aching and is pining, whether she loves you, doesnt love you, doesnt know, the outcome is still the same, it has ended. She did love you while you two were together, no one knows what she feels now, except her. You are doing the best thing for yourself by leaving it alone. Like Homebrew stated over and over, and I totally agree, why chase someone that doesn't "want" to be with you. I disagree completely with Sinnister, I really dont think you should think the worse about her, whether she's dating someone or not, dont drive yourself crazy over it. It doesnt help your healing process but hinders it. Moving on or not, she is not with you anymore, and it was her choice. Now, its your choice to leave with dignity, let her be her, be free, whatever she is persuing and go live your life. The breadcrumbs she's throwing at you are very cruel but it doesn't seem she's conscience of the pain she's causing. I probably dont have to say this, but just in case, be mindful of the opinions your getting, one seems to be a strong case of projecting. Dont get egged on by a battle that is foreign to you. Stick to the facts. She ended things, she is texting you telling you she cares, she still hasnt changed her mind. Dont obsess over her life, obsess about yours, it will be the best decision you make for yourself. And as to your last 2 posts, um yeah, I miss him too, in my mind I talk to him and he responds nicely. I come back to reality and think eh that would have been nice, but back to taking each day as it comes and focusing on ME. Thank you. Your response is much appreciated. It just sucks because I feel like she left me in a limbo. I was ready to get engaged as she wanted that soooo bad. But why cant she tell me how she feels! If your heart is telling you to be with someone then by god you should be with that person! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fedor Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 I feel like I'm going to crack today. I dont know why but this is the worst day since we actually broke up. I was doing good but she is just always on my mind. I just want to sit down and talk about us. I dont want to be in limbo anymore. You either love me or you dont.wtf Link to post Share on other sites
california15 Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 don't do it. Stay strong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fedor Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 don't do it. Stay strong. Thank you, I will try. I just feel extra week today. I know she loves me but I just dont get why she cant be with me:( I know the mistakes I made and I will correct them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fedor Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 She just initiated contact with a text message! Dont know what to say. I feel relief though Link to post Share on other sites
sun_moon Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 what did she say? Link to post Share on other sites
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