If a guy wants to meet halfway for a FIRST date, what does this say about him?

[Pyro]

RecordProducer is actually the norm, not the exception.

 

well it's a good thing that after I matured I stopped going after the norm and went for who I liked best.

[Velociraptor]

oh wow. One woman thinks that way on here and now ALL women are not interested in men?

 

In short, yes.

[CambridgeGirl]

Oh to be an American...

 

I find it appalling, doing a dishonour to women worldwide! Meeting halfway is fine, what stuck up little princess would refuse this, I would respect the man more who won't kowtow to such a prima donna.

[musemaj11]

well it's a good thing that after I matured I stopped going after the norm and went for who I liked best.

Good for you.

 

I too have realized that the majority of women are selfish and dangerous creatures and the sensible and considerate ones are a tiny minority.

 

Oh to be an American...

 

I find it appalling, doing a dishonour to women worldwide! Meeting halfway is fine, what stuck up little princess would refuse this, I would respect the man more who won't kowtow to such a prima donna.

From what I heard, British women are exactly the same as American women.

[Pyro]

Good for you.

 

I too have realized that the majority of women are selfish and dangerous creatures and the sensible and considerate ones are a tiny minority.

 

Not sure where you got the idea that I feel that a majority of women are that way.

 

I'm picky as all can be and I would rather die alone then settle for someone who doesn't fit my criteria.

[CambridgeGirl]

Have been on dates with British and American men and the latter are always different. They expect to be on best behaviour, more self conscious, less laid back. Always been surprised to see they can relax a little and kick back, which tells me that they need to bend over backwards more than most English guys. Conversely however, a lot of English guys are too slack, even on a first date, make a lot less effort to impress. Not all, but many.

[musemaj11]

Have been on dates with British and American men and the latter are always different. They expect to be on best behaviour, more self conscious, less laid back. Always been surprised to see they can relax a little and kick back, which tells me that they need to bend over backwards more than most English guys. Conversely however, a lot of English guys are too slack, even on a first date, make a lot less effort to impress. Not all, but many.

America is for women as the Middle East is for men. In the Middle East, a man can say, "I divorce you" and walks away from his wife without giving anything. On the other hand, in America a woman can say, "I divorce you" and walks away with half of her husband's assets.

 

If you are a woman and you want to know how it feels to live in a women's world then come to America. This is where men expect nothing and women expect everything. In other countries, women need to be a good cook, be educated, come from a good family, know how to clean, know how to treat a man, know how to be a good wife, etc in order to be considered a desirable mate. Outside America, being pretty alone doesnt cut it. But here all you need to do is be pretty and men will give you everything. American men have very low standard. If you are a young beautiful woman, you need to live in America once before you die so you can experience being Kate Middleton without actually having to marry Prince William. LOL

Edited May 14, 2011 by musemaj11

[Jazzari]

This a tough one. Seems like most who replied to this thread are guys who think men do NOT like the chase....but I think most dating advice I heard say men DO love the chase.

 

I heard from two girls on this thread....I need more replies from girls. Guys here can be biased hehehe.

 

I certainly don't mind paying or drive later in the relationship....but I guess the thing is that this is a first date. The guy very specificly told me we should meet in this particular city halfway....and I kind of wish he had asked me first where I'd like to meet instead of just deciding for himself. I kind of wished I had told him that I'm not too familiar with that city and then choose a different place. I guess it's the fact that we have to meet halfway for a first date (I've done it before but I was the one who suggested) combined with the fact that he didnt even ask me for input on where to meet that got me confused.

I don't think meeting halfway is a big deal. I drove almost 500 miles once for a first date. The difference is that we discussed it first and agree on where to meet.

 

I don't know how your conversation went or how it was phrased. But if you were uncomfortable, I think you should have said something. He probably would have been agreeable to making alternate plans. It's traditionally up to the guy to make the plans but I bet most guys would be happy to get the girl's input instead of trying to figure out what she would like on their own.

[sanskrit]

And we rule that you have to kiss our asses to get us in your lives or you we'll be with those who do, not you. And you can give us all your explanations about who drives half-way and who pays what, but if you forgot your wallet (in your pants), you ain't getting anything from us - EVER! Did I make it clear: ever. You only have one chance with us. And feel free to ignore this advice: makes it easier for us to weed out the cheap ones!

 

If only the above were true, then the average guy learning the ways of the world would not be confused. It's not true, though, as we learn with experience that kissing women's asses and shelling out cash is all for naught. Most of you, a vast majority, respond to 1. physical attractiveness, 2. social value, 3. emotional involvement, and none of those three things entails ass-kissing and cash spending. You will gladly and easily be taken in an instant by a man who masters all three of those, two of which can be ridiculously easily faked, and one can be enhanced in the same ways that all of you do it, despite all your long BS lists of earnest criteria in a man.

 

Of course, those three things will not sustain a relationship, but based on the quoted attitude of yours above, why on earth would we want to form a -relationship- with such self-absorbed, greedy, frivolous creatures? Why would we hang such an albatross around our necks voluntarily? You see, once we achieve the position where we can reliably have one of you without much trouble, we can have -all- of you just that easily as well. Why not just satisfy our lust for your bodies and then move on once we've had all of you that we care to have, or can stand?

[Sanman]

Guys, I think we can stop responding to RecordProducer. Ir appears that she has Chelsea Handler up as an avatar. Well, considering Chelsea Handler is about a half step above a hooker, I now see she is beyond convincing of anything resembling courtesy to a man. Let her do what she does and when she is older and the man who worked so hard to gain sex from her is now working hard to gain sex from a woman half her age while she watches her relationship end in outrage, she may realize the err of her ways. What she says is not true though. You don't need to lavish money on a woman to get laid. The promise of money will do. Just where nice clothes, tell her you are rich, and promise her nice things. After you get laid, you are free to leave. It works perfectly fine. Or go see a hooker, since according to RP women only need to be valued for sex and you can get it more cheaply from the actual thing than a half hooker. The irony is many of the women who think this way will also blow security at a concert to get backstage with their favorite band. :laugh:

[sanskrit]

I'm torn between whether the attitude RP posts here is really her attitude, whether it is close to her attitude but some tongue-in-cheek, or whether like many of us, self included, she enjoys stirring the pot on internet forums, which can be fun in itself.

[LexiB]

Girl here - meeting half way is not a big deal. At all. I almost always suggest meeting half way myself whenever going out with a guy for the first time. It's just considerate...

[carhill]

I'm torn between whether the attitude RP posts here is really her attitude, whether it is close to her attitude but some tongue-in-cheek, or whether like many of us, self included, she enjoys stirring the pot on internet forums, which can be fun in itself.

Let's just say the filters are lowered. She's still processing a bunch of stuff from her recent marriage and divorce. BTDT. I'm pretty much done with it now. FTR, no dates but I've put in the air miles twice to share some quality time with her. Glad to see her back posting. I think it will help. Take it with a grain of salt, IMO.

[D-Lish]

I remember my first Lava Life date from over 10 years ago- the guy drove over an hour to my neck of the woods, and I instantly disliked him. He dove into a myriad of pints and pestered me to stay at my place. I adopted the frame of mind that meeting halfway or going to their neck of the woods was my way of having control over when I wanted to leave.

 

That practice has served me well over the years. I like being in control of when I can leave the date without giving them the option of sticking around because they are 5 minutes from my place.

[J200]

I like going Dutch because I am modern and think a guy paying for me is lame. I am really independent, a self-made woman; I don't need a man to provide for me or buy me meals; I find it degrading.

 

I prefer meeting halfway if I don't really know someone. That way it's easier to bail if you don't like the guy. I don't see what the problem is...

[Sanman]

Let's just say the filters are lowered. She's still processing a bunch of stuff from her recent marriage and divorce. BTDT. I'm pretty much done with it now. FTR, no dates but I've put in the air miles twice to share some quality time with her. Glad to see her back posting. I think it will help. Take it with a grain of salt, IMO.

 

 

Carhill, I'll believe it if you say so. What is posted on LS certainly does not have to pertain to reality. If you say that RP is simply getting over a rough patch that is understandable and I certainly wish her the best. I just hope she realizes that when a man treats has an equal, there are positives and negatives. LIfe is not simply about being a princess.

[tigressA]

I see no real issue with his suggestion to meet halfway. With regard to the other complaint, about not having asked for your input, I think he was just being assertive.

 

I haven't ever had anyone ask to meet me halfway, so I can't really say how much (dis)interest I think that denotes. I will say the ones who were intent on coming to my turf, like my current BF, were quite interested. Since they were usually unfamiliar with my area, I was always the one to suggest a few different options of where to go/what to do, and the ultimate destination would be mutually agreed upon. The ones who always suggested me meeting them on their turf basically wanted me served up to them on a platter; they weren't too interested.

[orion1010]

Half way is neutral territory which is fair. although I can be selfish sometimes, I've suggested sports clubs/resturants for dinner in my neighborhood because I'm more comfortable and can be myself because I get nervous. As long as you're comfortable going where the date is, I don't see a problem.

[NoMagicBullet]

I see what you mean. I guess a guy who is assertive and suggests meeting halfway is a certain type of guy some girls like. I do notice that he is more masculine looking and sounding and also less 'bubbly' than guys I'm used to. I guess he is just not my type. I think I went through the eharmony process and emailing and phone with him because I thought he was incredibly attractive and has a great career, but I don't think we'd be that great a match.

 

I'm used to dating guys who are adorable, sensitive, thoughtful, etc. This guy may still be those things, but he sure hasn't shown it yet. I think I need the more 'bubbly' type of guy who likes pampering girls...they are the guys who make my heart flutter. Not much hope that things will work out with this date but guess we shall see.

 

From your posts, it seems like you have doubts about how good of a match the two of you are already, then add to that how he decided the location without input from you, plus input from your friends... it's not so much about meeting halfway, but all of this other stuff. I get the feeling that you aren't feeling good about this date and were looking for a good reason not to go.

 

Well, here's another woman's opinion on the halfway issue: meeting halfway is perfectly acceptable and sensible, especially when meeting someone for the first time from online dating.

 

As for going on the date, I encourage you to go. You can't really tell much about him or a potential relationship unless you meet in person. You might be pleasantly surprised. Then again, maybe not, but you'll never know unless you go.

 

I realize you aren't familiar with the area. Do you feel safe going? If you do, then go. If not, tell your date ASAP and ask about arranging to meet somewhere else. If it's just being unfamiliar, then with all the info on the internet, you can probably find reviews of the place you are going to, maybe even find the establishment's website. It might give you a better idea what to expect.

[callingyouuu]

Well, the decision you men have to obey is as follows:

 

You men rule the business world, but we women rule the sex world, at least here in America. And we rule that you have to kiss our asses to get us in your lives or you we'll be with those who do, not you. And you can give us all your explanations about who drives half-way and who pays what, but if you forgot your wallet (in your pants), you ain't getting anything from us - EVER! Did I make it clear: ever. You only have one chance with us. And feel free to ignore this advice: makes it easier for us to weed out the cheap ones!

 

I just find it highly disturbing that you don't see a need to earn a guy's respect; i.e., it should just be given because you were born with a single different chromosome.

 

On behalf of men who don't bend over backwards, girls like you also only get one chance. Pull any of that princess BS, and we'll go spend our time and energy with someone who understands that relationships are actually a two-way street. Personally, I believe going the longer distance on the first date mostly because they are ways to show that I actually care. However, the existence of women who actually feel entitled to them is really disappointing. Just as I appreciate (both mentally and visually) the time they take to get ready, I would hope that they realize that us guys are doing whatever we can not because we're kissing ass or are trying to "earn" our way into your lives (as if we're applying to college or something) but because we actually like you.

[PhillyDude]

The self-centeredness of women never cease to amaze me.

 

Its like they are all children who can't understand how other people might feel.

 

Any rational adult would find it inconsiderate to expect a stranger to come 30 miles while the other person just waits at home even though its a mutual interest.

 

 

Well she feels she as a magical hole and can do stuff like this-lol

[PhillyDude]

It's obvious why the guy drove 120 miles. It was because he felt it was a chance it would lead to a happy ending-lol

[PhillyDude]

Some women are different because it was someone I met online who lived in Maryland and drove all the way to philly to see me and it was no halfway.

[musemaj11]

It's obvious why the guy drove 120 miles. It was because he felt it was a chance it would lead to a happy ending-lol

And chances are it didnt. If he couldnt get lucky with a woman within 10 miles, its not going to make a difference just because he went 120 miles.