musemaj11 Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Could you be attracting the wrong types of women? I always make sure to be fair, if my partner goes a distance for me, I'll do the same for him. You are a cool chick with a lot of sensibility. Any guy is lucky to have you. But you are either lying or you are blind if you think that most women are like you. Link to post Share on other sites
Rinnix Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Perhaps it's just my area, or people I know, but I am acquainted with many females who have the same mindset. I also do see how other women think differently too. And thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Thirty miles and they want to meet half-way? The guys are married or involved, they are losers and no relationship material. Trust me. Just say no without any explanation. Yeah, I wouldn't do it. And to all the whiny guys: Talk to me when you have to go through all the **** we do to get ready for a date. Link to post Share on other sites
TheLoneSock Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Yeah, I wouldn't do it. And to all the whiny guys: Talk to me when you have to go through all the **** we do to get ready for a date. Lol. Chances are if you need that much effort to look good we probably wouldn't do it either. Link to post Share on other sites
Red Arremer Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Any guy that's willing to drive 120 miles to go on a date with someone, and then pays for the entire date, is extremely desperate and I'm assuming you wouldn't have much respect for that person after. It's almost kind of like how some guys won't respect a girl if she puts out on the first date. Yeah, I wouldn't do it. And to all the whiny guys: Talk to me when you have to go through all the **** we do to get ready for a date. That aside (and it's not exactly like all guys have it easy in that department, I personally am half werewolf), I still don't really think that means you somehow deserve to date a complete doormat. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Dating is so formal. Link to post Share on other sites
musemaj11 Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 (edited) Perhaps it's just my area, or people I know, but I am acquainted with many females who have the same mindset. I also do see how other women think differently too. You can even see it in this very thread how self-centered the majority of women are in their mindset. Sensible and considerate women are very rare. I mean how can anyone with a heart not feeling troubled having a complete stranger driving 120 miles for you? Im not going to be okay doing that even to my own family, let alone someone I dont even know. And to all the whiny guys: Talk to me when you have to go through all the **** we do to get ready for a date. Tell me exactly what you have to do to get ready for a date that justifies a total stranger driving 30 miles (and 30 miles back), spending money on the gas, and presumably also paying for the entire date just to see you? Do you really look that horrendous that you need so much effort in order to look presentable? Edited May 13, 2011 by musemaj11 Link to post Share on other sites
Velociraptor Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Yeah, I wouldn't do it. And to all the whiny guys: Talk to me when you have to go through all the **** we do to get ready for a date. Women: Puts on make up, fixes hair and chooses some clothes. Men: Initiates and plan all dates, initiates all contact(texts,calls,emails), initiates all physical intimacy and affection, romances and charms you, initiates excusivity, pays for dates, eventually has to meet, charm and impress the lady's parents. + fix up their appearance. Who has it harder again? Sorry Ruby, women don't do **** except put on some make up up, do their hair and put on some nice clothes. That's all the effort you ever put in a relationship. And it takes what? an hour tops... It's nothing compared to everything men has to do. Link to post Share on other sites
thatone Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Yeah, I wouldn't do it. And to all the whiny guys: Talk to me when you have to go through all the **** we do to get ready for a date. don't worry, i'm sure a husband will knock on your door out of the blue someday. Link to post Share on other sites
cataclysmic.road Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 haha... i never have sex on the first date. and i think the guy has almost always offered to pay. in fact there was only once, i offered, which i normally do, and he actually let me split it with him. that was the last date we had. even though he kept trying to contact me... he should have picked up the tab. Its ok to go 50/50 later in the relationship, but if a guy is trying to impress you... and he lets you pay or split it... its not impressive. its insulting. cause somewhere in the past he probably picked up the bill for the first date before... just not for you. so you know where you stand. i.e. the reason i never went on another date with him. Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 haha... i never have sex on the first date. and i think the guy has almost always offered to pay. in fact there was only once, i offered, which i normally do, and he actually let me split it with him. that was the last date we had. even though he kept trying to contact me... he should have picked up the tab. Its ok to go 50/50 later in the relationship, but if a guy is trying to impress you... and he lets you pay or split it... its not impressive. its insulting. cause somewhere in the past he probably picked up the bill for the first date before... just not for you. so you know where you stand. i.e. the reason i never went on another date with him. Perhaps you shouldn't offer to pay half if you aren't sincere about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Ask all these friends talking about how he should do everything how their relationships with men are. Never let bitter women drag you down into their crap. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 assuming you are both driving to the meeting place, this guy sounds pretty practical, with the cost of gas and everything, plus by meeting halfway you are both putting in the same amount of effort for the date which is how it should be. Sounds like a good guy so far. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 My exW and I lived sixty miles apart and our first 'date' was lunch about halfway in between. She was late Personally, I assign no significant meaning to wanting to meet in the middle. It's whatever the parties agree to. If there's agreement, then there is. If not, not. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 (edited) why can't people treat others like how you want others to treat you?This has nothing to do with treating people. The dating game is what Carhill calls "the dance" between a man and a woman. In love and war, everything is allowed. In any case, the rules are different from the non-dating, or even marriage, worlds. Men LOVE to do things for women in the courting phase. Allow a man to meet you half-way and he's not interested in you anymore because there's no chase, you're not hard to get. Don't give me that BS that women should split the tab and the gas, just to dump me for a hard-to-get woman. And to all the whiny guys: Talk to me when you have to go through all the **** we do to get ready for a date.Nah... talk to me about meeting half-way when you have gone through pregnancies, birth, abortions, birth control hormones, and all that sh*t. Remind me how unhealthy and expensive condoms are? Agree, Ruby? Two years from now, original poster is married to this guy and she is giving birth: (Screaming) "AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRGGGHH!!!! And you didn't want to drive extra 15 miles for our first date?!?! You scum!" Edited May 13, 2011 by RecordProducer Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Hmmm ladies, You really have us men pegged. You guys are clearly right that you shouldn't be treated that way. God forbid should a man expect a woman to any effort into a date. What we really want is for you to do nothing, so we have no idea whether you are going on the date because you are interested or if you are bored, on the rebound, etc because then all you are doing is wasting our time and money. And god forbid a woman offers to split (not pickup but split) a check and a man accepts he is a bum while he sits across the table thinking he found a woman who actually considers herself an equal and not a prize to be won. You are right that you spend a lot of time getting dressed and it is all for me not so you can attract men in general. Thank god I don't have to get a haircut, pick out nice clothes, or put on cologne (I can just show up in a dirty t-shirt, right?). But in the end, you will be barefoot and pregnant and I cannot be, so I just need to accept my role as a man. So, get in that kitchen and cook me a steak. When you're done I'll be expecting my blow job. Link to post Share on other sites
Velociraptor Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 This has nothing to do with treating people. The dating game is what Carhill calls "the dance" between a man and a woman. In love and war, everything is allowed. In any case, the rules are different from the non-dating, or even marriage, worlds. Men LOVE to do things for women in the courting phase. Allow a man to meet you half-way and he's not interested in you anymore because there's no chase, you're not hard to get. Don't give me that BS that women should split the tab and the gas, just to dump me for a hard-to-get woman. FAR from ALL men love women who play hard to get, thats utter nonsense. I doub't even most men really like to chase. For every man that I've seen how much they "love" the chase, I've seen 10 who say they don't like it. And don't even try telling me otherwise, wanna-be alpha. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Men hate the chase. We actually prefer things to be as drama free as possible. We love a normal and healthy relationship with no games. A woman who expects a man to make all the effort is one with a princess mentality and in my country we left the monarchy behind in England so there are no princesses. Link to post Share on other sites
Velociraptor Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Men hate the chase. We actually prefer things to be as drama free as possible. We love a normal and healthy relationship with no games. A woman who expects a man to make all the effort is one with a princess mentality and in my country we left the monarchy behind in England so there are no princesses. Exactly. If a woman plays hard to get, SHE DOESN'T LIKE YOU. Period. ONLY princessy women with a narcisstic attitude play hard to get. And ONLY loser men with no self respect continue to chase them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author conehead Posted May 13, 2011 Author Share Posted May 13, 2011 This a tough one. Seems like most who replied to this thread are guys who think men do NOT like the chase....but I think most dating advice I heard say men DO love the chase. I heard from two girls on this thread....I need more replies from girls. Guys here can be biased hehehe. I certainly don't mind paying or drive later in the relationship....but I guess the thing is that this is a first date. The guy very specificly told me we should meet in this particular city halfway....and I kind of wish he had asked me first where I'd like to meet instead of just deciding for himself. I kind of wished I had told him that I'm not too familiar with that city and then choose a different place. I guess it's the fact that we have to meet halfway for a first date (I've done it before but I was the one who suggested) combined with the fact that he didnt even ask me for input on where to meet that got me confused. Link to post Share on other sites
dispatch3d Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 There has been maybe 1 or 2 guys where I met online, we emailed, talked on the phone for a few hours and then he'd ask to meet in person for a first date. When I said yes, he then suggested meeting in a particular town because it is halfway between us (we live 30 miles apart). About 15 mile drive for him and 15 mile drive for me. Does this mean that a guy who suggests meeting halfway is more likely to be a non-traditional guy? Most guys who live far away almost always offer to drive to my town instead of meeting halfway if it's a very first date...one guy even drove 120 miles to meet me in person for the first time. I didn't really think meeting halfway was that big of a deal, until I told one of my friends and she said that the fact the guy used the exact words 'lets meet here because it is halfway' suggests that the guy will probably be the type to go dutch when the bill comes etc. She said meeting halfway is almost as bad as if he suggested splitting the bill on a first date. She said there is nothing wrong with that, but it just tells you what kind of relationship it will be -- one where the guy likes to treat the girl vs one where it's more 50/50. What do you all think about this meeting halfway thing? FACEPALM! Dumb on so many levels. I'd say it's a good sign. Link to post Share on other sites
Velociraptor Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 This a tough one. Seems like most who replied to this thread are guys who think men do NOT like the chase I think we know if we like the chase or not, and most of us don't. Women have no clue. but I think most dating advice I heard say men DO love the chase. Dating advice is more often than not written by women. And women know jack ****. I heard from two girls on this thread....I need more replies from girls. Guys here can be biased hehehe. Women WANT to believe men totally "love" the chase It's in your best intrest. If anything YOU girls are biased. Don't get mad just because believe it or not... Most men do NOT like princessy women such as yourself who plays hard to get and thinks the man should put in all the effort. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Some men love to chase. However, after they have you they get bored and dump you because conquest has been attained. Guys that want relationships do not like to chase. Again, what do you want, a guy who drops you after getting his conquest or a relationship? You are welcome to ignore the biased men on this thread because women are never biased. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 Adding to my earlier posting, wanting to meet halfway IMO signals balance; a man who balances his attraction and desires versus his own sensibilities. This presumes he pays for the first date and solicits the lady's input on venue. Personally, I've met very few women halfway for first dates, preferring venues near them if possible. With my exW, it was the distance which impelled my desire for balance. I think it's the interaction and the synergy which make for a healthy potential, not the gallons of gasoline or jet fuel burned getting one's butt to the location. YMMV. Link to post Share on other sites
CrestfallenNoMore Posted May 13, 2011 Share Posted May 13, 2011 You've actually heard from several females - me included. Stop and think about it - you're seriously trying to predict the way the entire relationship might play out based on his suggestion that you drive 15 miles. You don't have enough data points to make hardly any predictions at this point - you haven't even MET the guy. How about dropping your assumptions, going, and meeting the actual person rather than the "selfish non-courter" you and your friend have invented in your minds? Otherwise, don't waste his time, or yours. Link to post Share on other sites
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