Author jaymz Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 STBXW texts me "Can u call me ASAP" Then "please" I reply 20 minutes later "what is it?" She replies "very important need to speak to you" Then she calls me a minute later and is crying on the phone. Her mum has had cancer, they operated the other day and are 99% sure they have removed it all. She wants to know if she should tell the kids. I tell her that she can tell them and to tell them exactly what she told me. She says the kids are back from school and rushes me off the phone. I just don't get it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Yes you do. And honestly. Tell her point-blank that if she has any problems with the condition you return the kids to text it to you ONCE within 24 hours and otherwise not to spill her venomous drama out in front of your children whom she is heartlessly damaging. Even get a separate cell phone to deal with lid texts if you have to. That way you can deal with it on your time instead of getting text "blasts" at random. Disposable phones are cheap. It doesn't do any favors for the kids for her to behave this way. What a bitch. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 8, 2013 Author Share Posted February 8, 2013 It's not for emotional needs, she has been with scumbag for practically two years now. The need to be centre of a drama? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miky Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Jaymz this is not ony for Drama, Scumbag sounds like a Baboon she picked out of the London Zoo, Neanderthal goon, I would refrain from providing her any EN (Emotional Needs) support, she lost this privilege when she hooked up with the Baboon (no offense to the Baboon race), 2 years is plenty of time to start coming out of the fog and obviously she turns to you for her ENs Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Jaymz this is not ony for Drama, Scumbag sounds like a Baboon she picked out of the London Zoo, Neanderthal goon, I would refrain from providing her any EN (Emotional Needs) support, she lost this privilege when she hooked up with the Baboon (no offense to the Baboon race), 2 years is plenty of time to start coming out of the fog and obviously she turns to you for her ENs Especially after having a baby. She's going to be all over the place, she was before the baby. Jeepers. What a PITA she is. Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 I just don't get it. What is there you NEED to get? How much more damage are you willing to let this person do to you? aM Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 It's not for emotional needs, she has been with scumbag for practically two years now. The need to be centre of a drama? being a `centre of a drama` , IS an emotional need Why do you even reply to her at all? aM Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 Who gives a flying *** why she is doing it? She`s a fisherman, ok woman, she`s throwing the same old bait on the same old rusty hook ( by now??) and you have been caught , so many times Why jaymz? Why do you still let this woman control you? aM Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 STBXW texts me "Can u call me ASAP" Then "please" I reply 20 minutes later "what is it?" She replies "very important need to speak to you" ....to which you reply "Is it about the kids?" Any other answer other than 'yes' is met with "Im sorry for <whatever> but I really can't help you". End conversation. Simple and easy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted February 8, 2013 Share Posted February 8, 2013 ....to which you reply "Is it about the kids?" Any other answer other than 'yes' is met with "Im sorry for <whatever> but I really can't help you". End conversation. Simple and easy. yup i agree But then again if it was about the kids and it was that important , she wouldn`t be texting, she`d be calling?? Ignore all texts from her i reckon aM Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 12, 2013 Author Share Posted February 12, 2013 To tell you the truth, I was annoyed at the replies on here: In my head it must have been about the kids, why else would she text and call? After a weekend reflection, you are all right and again I still haven't learnt the basics of LC. I am such a block head at times 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 12, 2013 Author Share Posted February 12, 2013 I picked the kids up Sunday and took them to Rugby practice. Not drama from the ex but behind closed door I did hear her tell my daughter to not get dirty. I took them back at the agreed time, relatively clean. STBXW text me this morning, she wants me to drop the kids off late this Sunday. I already had plans Sunday even so replied back that I couldn't as I already had plans. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mack05 Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 STBXW text me this morning, she wants me to drop the kids off late this Sunday. I already had plans Sunday even so replied back that I couldn't as I already had plans. They are your kids. You don't live with them. Every moment spent with them is precious. Whatever your plans are you cancel them and then send your ex a text telling her that you are now available.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 12, 2013 Author Share Posted February 12, 2013 They are your kids. You don't live with them. Every moment spent with them is precious. Whatever your plans are you cancel them and then send your ex a text telling her that you are now available.. Child care when she has them is her problem, I am grateful she gives me first choice and I have had them for extra time and now sunday mornings too, but at some point I do have my own life to live. This Sunday eve I have tickets for a night out with friends, I know it makes me seem heartless. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ver13 Posted February 12, 2013 Share Posted February 12, 2013 Child care when she has them is her problem, I am grateful she gives me first choice and I have had them for extra time and now sunday mornings too, but at some point I do have my own life to live. This Sunday eve I have tickets for a night out with friends, I know it makes me seem heartless. I have to agree with you on this course of action you are not the baby sitter what so ever. I have been following your ordeal for quite sometime and at some point you have to establish your new relationship boundaries. Your STBXW needs to get with the program, she left for something greater in her mind even though it truly turned out to be less then she is willing to admit. Now she has to deal with the world of co-parenting which requires acting like a human being which in this case means solving her own child care issues. She has to start being responsible for finding a solution or canceling whatever she planned to do. She wanted custody and now she has it an all that comes with it. Yes they are your babies but that doesn't mean that she has the right to srew up your schedule whenever it suits her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 13, 2013 Author Share Posted February 13, 2013 Thank you ver13. I text STBXW about having the boys on one of her weekends (for the whole weekend) and for one day next week (kids half term from school). She called me and told me that I could have the boys for the weekend but couldn't for one reason, I told her it was a yes or no question, she told me that "out of curtsy, it was my mother birthday and under the circumstances the family wanted to be together", she then said she would let me know later this evening about which day I could have the kids next week. Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 (edited) you dont have set days with them? ok i see. You do have set days. so in this case she has done nothing wrong aM Edited February 13, 2013 by aMguilts Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 13, 2013 Author Share Posted February 13, 2013 yep but not for half term, so its a more casual arrangement. Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 your not divorced yet? why not? aM Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 yep but not for half term, so its a more casual arrangement. casual as in if it fits around her more than you? aM Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 13, 2013 Author Share Posted February 13, 2013 you dont have set days with them? ok i see. You do have set days. so in this case she has done nothing wrong aM The curtosy comment just tickled me I guess. Its also a complete change in the sense that even a month ago she would never have entertained the idea of me having the kids on HER weekend. casual as in if it fits around her more than you? aM Suits us both. Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 i`m not being an ass, im not( i know i AM to a lot on here but i`m not) why arent you 2 divorced yet?? aM Link to post Share on other sites
Author jaymz Posted February 13, 2013 Author Share Posted February 13, 2013 your not divorced yet? why not? aM Cant agree on money. Will have another session in March, so will see then. Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 The curtosy comment just tickled me I guess. Its also a complete change in the sense that even a month ago she would never have entertained the idea of me having the kids on HER weekend. Suits us both. does it? suit you both? You should be WAY ahead of where you are now jaymz. She is STILL throwing you the same old bait. Why aren`t i getting an invite to your new wedding with the woman you are in love with by now? Your still young!!! aren`t you??? aM Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted February 13, 2013 Share Posted February 13, 2013 Cant agree on money. Will have another session in March, so will see then. who won`t agree , you or her? aM Link to post Share on other sites
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