Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 22, 2011 Author Share Posted May 22, 2011 so we went in, they weren't there thankfully. had a good time, met a really hot woman and got her number.. 5'10 (im 6'4), beautiful. Probably should wait a few days before I call. Link to post Share on other sites
updown Posted May 22, 2011 Share Posted May 22, 2011 that is what i meant by accepting it! you might KNOW it's over, but it's the moving on that shows you've accepted that it's over. meeting someone new, getting a number.... you're moving on. try not to hold onto all the crappy stuff she did to you and put you through. move on. don't bring that old relationship into a new one. good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 22, 2011 Author Share Posted May 22, 2011 thanks updown.. yea its definitely time to move forward. who knows if this will lead to anything but its more about putting myself out there and living my life. Link to post Share on other sites
htctouchpro2 Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 very nice. love the analogy Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 23, 2011 Author Share Posted May 23, 2011 day 30 full NC Link to post Share on other sites
updown Posted May 23, 2011 Share Posted May 23, 2011 EXACTLY!!! it might turn into something, it might not.... the point is you're DOING something! you're not just sitting waiting. you're moving forward, whatever the future might hold, you're moving into it!! you'll be fine. just keep moving forward! live your life, and make it the best! thanks updown.. yea its definitely time to move forward. who knows if this will lead to anything but its more about putting myself out there and living my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 24, 2011 Author Share Posted May 24, 2011 so I spoke with my attorney.. the ex wants me to continue to pay her alimony/spousal support even though she is living with another dude. And she wants to settle out of court no fault so she can protect her bf from being subpoena'd and to avoid paying out thousands of dollars for a contested divorce. she is beyond despicable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 24, 2011 Author Share Posted May 24, 2011 ugh, i stumbled across her abandoned myspace page.. here's her description: "K and I have a beautiful baby boy named D and he is our world. I am no longer a full time massage therapist but I am now part time. I am blessed to have a wonderful man in my life who believes in having me raise our child at home as much as I do. So, I am now a stay at home mom and love every second of it. Finally got married on September 22nd, 2007 and it was incredible" my how things can change in a couple years. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 Ugh, I just completely stopped stepping in regarding where my H is concerned on Sunday and now I notice how completely slacker/irresponsible he is. He always made it my fault before but now there is no one filling the gap. He isn't stepping up and it's lame. It's 11:30 am here and he still hasn't even started his day. He is supposed to be taking care of our daughter's morning needs and it is not happening, again. You know what? Be grateful that your avoidant stbxw is out of your life for the most part. Your son will know who stepped up for him just like my daughter will. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 24, 2011 Author Share Posted May 24, 2011 well my attorney called me back and said she is backing off of alimony.. but she wants pickup/dropoff to be at the police station 10 miles from my house because she is afraid of me. sigh. this girl is all victim all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 That's about a half hour drive right? Bring from Calgary that is still under our average commute time. I'd take it. Let her have her show. Is there possibly a police station halfway in between? Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 24, 2011 Author Share Posted May 24, 2011 (edited) That's about a half hour drive right? Bring from Calgary that is still under our average commute time. I'd take it. Let her have her show. Is there possibly a police station halfway in between? no, I'm not doing it. its ridiculous, unnecessary, and I dont think its good for our son. Edited May 24, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
updown Posted May 24, 2011 Share Posted May 24, 2011 i have to agree about the being grateful for the mostly avoidant Stbx. the non-avoidant kind is harder to deal with. i wish we were doing the no fault not contested out of court divorce. we're not, and it's hard on me and hard on the kids, and expensive and time consuming, and thought consuming, and depressing, and the list goes on. if you have never done anything to warrant a neutral drop off/ pick up, then don't agree to it. i drop off and pick up at their dad's house, and i have filed police reports........ so, if she's never had to do that and she's still scared..... she has issues! if you live in a public neighborhood she really does not have anything to worry about! the other thing you can suggest to her, is to put it infront of a judge.... see if she changes her tune?? i'm glad she is backing off the alimony, especially if she's LIVING with this guy!!! that's just CRAZY! ( of her to think she's entitled to that!). i hope, for your sake and your kids' sake, you can settle it quickly and inexpensively! rooting and praying for you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 26, 2011 Author Share Posted May 26, 2011 (edited) so, she backed off alimony, wow she is such a reasonable person!!! Pretty much anything she's conceded on she had no right asking for in the first place. so, to make up for the alimony now her attorney is saying she makes $600 a month less than she claimed 5 months ago. I don't know who is more despicable, her attorney, or her. oh, and by all accounts the fact I'm upset about this whole thing is irrational, I just have to accept I married a complete POS and make this all business as she tries to take everything she can from me. Edited May 26, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 26, 2011 Author Share Posted May 26, 2011 i am just seething with anger right now... need some type of release. Link to post Share on other sites
updown Posted May 26, 2011 Share Posted May 26, 2011 you have absolutely every right to be upset. and your feelings are not irrational. they are how you feel, and you are allowed to feel any way you want right now! i hope you were able to find a safe and helpful mode of release/ vent!! she needs to provide you w2 things for work. or a current paystub from her boss shows that she makes that much less. you have law on your side. if she is not telling the truth, it will come out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 26, 2011 Author Share Posted May 26, 2011 you have absolutely every right to be upset. and your feelings are not irrational. they are how you feel, and you are allowed to feel any way you want right now! i hope you were able to find a safe and helpful mode of release/ vent!! she needs to provide you w2 things for work. or a current paystub from her boss shows that she makes that much less. you have law on your side. if she is not telling the truth, it will come out. Yea, she's trying to hide income, she makes a lot in tips and those are never claimed. Her lawyer continues to make false accusations and paint me as a horrible person. I seriously, seriously would say the WORST day of my life was the day I had the misfortune of meeting her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 27, 2011 Author Share Posted May 27, 2011 my son said "mommy and daddy cannot be together again" tonite. I asked him how that made him feel.. he said it made him sad. I asked him if mommy told him that and he said yes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 27, 2011 Author Share Posted May 27, 2011 I realize that when I'm seriously emotionally stressed I react like an 18yr old kid.. I guess over the years I haven't been in the situation much so it wasn't an issue. When up against someone who is doing everything they can to bring out the worst in you, its so hard to keep contained. Ego driven destructive behavior. Something I really, really need to work on. What I don't get is if my ex is SO happy and her life is just so wonderful now, OM is her dream guy, etc why does she feel the need to constantly twist the knife? Doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Long after this OM is gone and a distant memory I'll still be our sons father. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 27, 2011 Author Share Posted May 27, 2011 any of these sound familiar? Outer Child lusts after the unavailable Outer Child loses passion in secure relationships Outer Child endangers the couple Outer Child ruins your sex life Outer Child stalls your career Outer Child breaks your diet Outer Child hates exercise, craves carbs Outer Child excels at procrastination Outer Child loves spending, revels in debt Outer Child clutters your home Outer Child fuels depression, drains energy Outer Child torpedoes your self-esteem Outer Child feeds on post traumatic stress disorder Outer Child promotes your [worst] habits, compulsions Outer Child gets addicted to anything that isn’t nailed down Outer Child thrives on people’s faults Outer Child defeats your goals Outer Child basks in broken dreams Outer Child erodes your confidence, nurses your ego wounds Outer Child obsesses, compulses, and disorders Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 Her lawyer continues to make false accusations and paint me as a horrible person. Marquee, In words qouted from the godfather "It's just business" Of course her lawyer does this, she wants to get the maximum possible settlement for her client. In any negotiation you make a high demand knowing that eventually will compromise. Question is how good is your lawyer? Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 why does she feel the need to constantly twist the knife? . Because this is how she feels right now.. Women run on feelings. Those feelings might or might not change. Someone told me the same thing when my W walked away and I didn't believe them. She said it in a nutshell to me yesterday " Last year I didn't want to be married to you anymore, now I do". Her feelings changed. That said there was no infidelity, it would have been much, much harder for me to take her back if that had happened. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 28, 2011 Author Share Posted May 28, 2011 (edited) Rob she is never going to change. She's also never gonna look in the mirror and take ANY responsibility for anything thats happened because she doesn't care, and in her words "the past needs to stay in the past". She claims she loved me but hasn't felt that way in a long time. My life is fubar because of this whole thing, all because this relationship with this selfish person who used me to get to a certain point and used the most diabolical methods to get out and get with an OM. I will say again, my lack of self control in reacting to her manipulation made things 1000x worse. Have I learned? Have I grown? Definitely. Should I ever have been put in that situation? HELL NO. I trusted her and she sh*t on me, our relationship, my family, and has hurt our son all for selfish reasons. She basically has done everything she SWORE she would never do, and so much worse. She made so many promises and didn't deliver on any of them. Not one. I'm left all mentally destroyed while she plays house with the douchebag guy and my son. I just can't get over it, I'm struggling so hard. I had been strong, healthy, and hadn't had a day of depression for 13yrs until last May. This woman is awful and she gets to get away with it all. I'm fighting so hard to hold back tears right now because my son is here. She thinks she is so "strong".. she's not, she's just callous, heartless and has no conscience. Thats not strength. Edited May 28, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 she doesn't care, and in her words "the past needs to stay in the past". She claims she loved me but hasn't felt that way in a long time. . Heard it before twice in 2 marriages lol... Same words. Both occasions their feelings changed. However on the first one I ended up done with her. Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted May 28, 2011 Share Posted May 28, 2011 She's also never gonna look in the mirror and take ANY responsibility for anything thats happened . Ohh it always catches up one day bit like spending on a credit card. You feel nice n rich when your doing it, but you gotta pay it back some time!! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts