Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 3, 2011 Author Share Posted May 3, 2011 ~sigh~ God, she is awful... Well, at this point, I hope you're reversing course. In other words: POKER FACE. She gets nada, zilch, zip in the way of reactions from you. 'Cause she's just feeding off it if you do. You have to STARVE her from wanting the emotional (sad, angry, etc.) feedback. At this point, it's all about power, so don't give her even one little scrap by accident. my brother.. this is about her taking as much from me as she can and living happily ever after with her new BF. thats it. there is more to the story I'd like to tell you sometime.. it'll blow your mind. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 3, 2011 Share Posted May 3, 2011 Shouldn't be too long before you at least get some solid answers about what life is going to look like over the next little while. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 Came up with a counter to their ridiculous offer with my attorney and father.. I suspect they'll reject it outright... then its to court we go. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted May 4, 2011 Share Posted May 4, 2011 Came up with a counter to their ridiculous offer with my attorney and father.. I suspect they'll reject it outright... then its to court we go. Just out of sheer curiosity, how is she paying for a lawyer?? Who's ponying up the dough for that -- her folks? Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 4, 2011 Author Share Posted May 4, 2011 Just out of sheer curiosity, how is she paying for a lawyer?? Who's ponying up the dough for that -- her folks? No her parents don't have any money. I would guess its because she has been saving up the last year having no bills living with her parents/OM. Im sure the support I pay her is being used too. She wants me to pay for her attorneys fees for a no fault divorce too, lol. Our position is she wanted the separation/divorce, she can pay for it. I've already paid her months and months of spousal support when she has been sponging off OM. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 6, 2011 Author Share Posted May 6, 2011 My son is saying he's back staying overnite at OM's house. I guess there is nothing I can do about it until the divorce is final, then I can take legal measures. The hurt I feel from the recent letter from her attorney about how all she wants is for this to be done and over with, and how she wants nothing to do with me in the future.. such hateful language. Again, those are her feelings and I can't do anything to change them. What this whole thing comes down to is she stopped caring about me, about us, about our family a LONG time ago. The switch was flipped and will never be turned back on. It causes me so much grief to know our son will never have both his parents in his life on a daily basis, and that some OM is spending more time with him than me. I have to convince myself this is for the best, because my heart still doesn't believe it, even after all the horrible things we've done to each other. My insides are so messed up, and I just want to heal and feel good about life again. I used to embrace the future, now I'm not so sure. She will get sole physical/legal custody of my son.. there is nothing I can do about it. Hopefully it can be revisited in the future. I didn't have a child with and marry this person to ultimately have my life burned to the ground. But here I am.. empty, alone and unsure. God please give me guidance. Link to post Share on other sites
worldgonewrong Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 She will get sole physical/legal custody of my son. Wait - WTF - why?! My heart aches for you, MM4. A few thoughts: 1. this Hell you're going through WILL end. It will. It seems impossible now, but there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. 2. Remember that a BIG percentage of all the nasty sh*t she's saying now is a lot of smoke/mirrors/bluff. When the reality sets in for her, she's in for a shock. 3. I won't proselytize, as that's not my style (and it turns people off), but you did mention God. I believe in prayer, real sincere, unselfish prayer. If you pray to God, He will listen. He might not guide you down the path you expected, but He will be there for you. (This is coming from a guy who used to be one of the biggest cynics out there. I've had a few Life changes that have made me eat my words.) Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 6, 2011 Share Posted May 6, 2011 I am sure that custody can be revisited when the smoke clears. MM4 not to sound hurtful. But be glad to see your son. My H isn't looking at anything beyond supervised visits when he gets back from treatment. I know that your circumstance isn't the same. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 6, 2011 Author Share Posted May 6, 2011 Well, I'm a good father and my son always wants to be with me... I'm sure in the future he'll decide to come live with me. On an unrelated note.. todays dropoff was comical.. she has new license plate-- KRMA PLC... LOL. Oh man, that'll match her BF's SIN CITY perfectly. She looked terrible.. wearing an awful unflattering long dress, these terrible shoes, and she has a new tattoo on the back of her NECK.. its the Hindu sign for PEACE.. how original. Ugh, when left to her own devices this girl is embarrassing and has the worst taste known to man. I should be glad I'm done with her... I couldn't stop laughing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 8, 2011 Author Share Posted May 8, 2011 On mothers day I hope you realize that breaking up our family without trying to work things out at all, jumping into a relationship with this clown a few months after separation, and basically causing our son and myself untold amounts of pain makes you a BAD MOTHER. You won't though. Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted May 8, 2011 Share Posted May 8, 2011 I hope you have a shark for an attorney, and yes you can get custody. Also, not sure about you area, but you also might look into getting an order forbidding the child to be brought into the company of the OM. A friend of mine, some years back, got custody of his two youngsters, the daughter wasn't even one yet, and the W was a SAHM. He first filed for a temporary custody hearing, which he won and also the provision about no contact with OM. She screwed herself by bringing the children in contact with the OM. So the custody part was carried though to the final decree. She screwed herself again by marrying the OM, and lost when she appealed the custody and now then had to pay him CS. The only way she could see the kid was through supervised visits. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 9, 2011 Author Share Posted May 9, 2011 (edited) I'm not sure what grounds I could have an order keeping her from having our son in the OM presence... yea, he's still not divorced afaik, but will be soon and so will she. At a bare minimum I'm going to try to get legal document to keep her from having my son stay at his place overnight. About this karma thing... this person thinks karma is destroying me for my poor treatment of her, maybe some of that is true but she's so ignorant she doesn't think her despicable actions (and there have been plenty) will come back to haunt her?? Like she's exempt from karma or something? I hope she finds out the hard way. Just the fact she thinks relationships/marriages are about what someone can give you and what you can take from them.. not about love, caring, support and being there emotionally for someone. One other thing too.. she was saying a few weeks ago if I let her go then she'll respect me and let me in more. Ummm.. its a given I'll respect HER? This is only because she knew I wanted her back, correct? If I don't want anything to do with her there goes her power. It truly is all about her, not our son, not this new tool she's "dating", and certainly not about me. She has pretty much turned out to be EXACTLY what I prayed she wasn't. Edited May 9, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 9, 2011 Author Share Posted May 9, 2011 honestly I just don't know how I'm going to get over this whole thing.. even if I hate her and don't ever want to have anything to do with her I'm still left missing my son alot of the time. and when I miss him I think about why I'm not with him, and then I get all upset about the whole thing again. its a vicious, painful cycle. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 9, 2011 Author Share Posted May 9, 2011 I thought of another thing she said a few weeks ago.. when I tried to call a truce for the sake of our son.. something to the effect of "there is no benefit to me calling a truce" this is the person I'm dealing with. Link to post Share on other sites
NXS Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 Hi MM4, just wondering is your court/divorce coming up soon? Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 9, 2011 Author Share Posted May 9, 2011 Hi MM4, just wondering is your court/divorce coming up soon? its one year separation on May 13th.. I assume I'll be served soon thereafter. Link to post Share on other sites
NXS Posted May 9, 2011 Share Posted May 9, 2011 Best of Luck!!!! Keep us posted. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 10, 2011 Author Share Posted May 10, 2011 thanks NXS.. i definitely will. do I fight this whole thing with my son staying with OM? Is it just inevitable.. will it make things worse trying to keep it from happening? she knows she isn't supposed to be doing it, but since she couldn't care less what I think she does it anyway. why in the hell does this person think she is so much more important to our son than me?? she acts like he's her possession and she's just being nice by letting me have time with him. its infuriating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 10, 2011 Author Share Posted May 10, 2011 actually its not infuriating, its heartbreaking. how do i fight against someone who doesn't care if my son sees me? how do I reason with someone who can't see the importance of a father in our sons life? why in the hell did I procreate with this person?!?! Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 I am so sorry to hear you are having such a tough time still. I think it is going to be a legal fight over here too. Have you thought about reading a book on negotiating with terrorist, or those that hold people hostage? I am not kidding. Desperate times, y'know.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 10, 2011 Author Share Posted May 10, 2011 i'm going to be struggling with this the rest of my life. I still don't know how I didn't see this coming knowing the background this person is from. she is trying to live her mothers life (ugh) and is making me play the role of physically/mentally/verbally/sexually abusive father. I have absolutely nothing in common with that person. Now she's out to find a replacement for me, like her stepdad who is a fairly decent person. who knows whats going on in this woman's head. Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 We're here in the trenches with you, as much as we can be. Love and infatuation are pretty blinding. How is your son doing? Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 10, 2011 Author Share Posted May 10, 2011 (edited) We're here in the trenches with you, as much as we can be. Love and infatuation are pretty blinding. How is your son doing? thanks.. it means alot i assume my son is ok, I haven't seen him since friday and his mother and I have 0 contact now since April 23rd. As I have mentioned he is staying overnight at this OM's place. it makes me sick to my stomach (literally). Edited May 10, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted May 10, 2011 Share Posted May 10, 2011 thanks.. it means alot i assume my son is ok, I haven't seen him since friday and his mother and I have 0 contact now since April 23rd. As I have mentioned he is staying overnight at this OM's place. it makes me sick to my stomach (literally).[/QUOTE] I know that feeling. I actually encourage women who suspect their husband's are porn addicts to watch for that feeling. It tells them more then a keylogger would. BTW, that's a trauma trigger. Look into that. It can help if you can move past the sick feeling. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marqueemoon4 Posted May 10, 2011 Author Share Posted May 10, 2011 (edited) BTW, that's a trauma trigger. Look into that. It can help if you can move past the sick feeling. i have so many trauma triggers right now.. I can't keep track. Edited May 10, 2011 by marqueemoon4 Link to post Share on other sites
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