Online dating - One big joke?

[fishtaco]

Yep -- you're in demand.

 

I look for women in their mid-thirties or early forties. I look for women with experience of life. I look for evidence of (failed) relationships and I look for evidence of children.

 

Women in their mid-thirties (and older) who don't have children come across as women with issues. In real life, these issues could be discussed. But in an online dating scenario it's simply not worth the bother to ask questions such as......

 

1. why are you single.

2. why have you never been married.

3. why don't you have children.

 

The most normal thing in life is to form pair bonds and to reproduce. People who fail in this respect are invariably people with issues.

 

Oh yeah, and yes, online dating is one big joke. At least for men it is. Don't waste your time.

 

In simple English ............ AVOID.

 

Are you a time traveler from 100 years ago? If so, congratulations on learning how to use the computer.

 

Some women these days choose to focus on career. Plus it's not uncommon to not get married or have kids till later, for both genders. In fact, it's kind of not cool anymore to pop out kids at 15.

 

Someone with kids always makes things more complicated. Even the kids and the kid's biological dad/mom are all cooperative, you are still scheduling time for more people than just the two of you.

 

I prefer women with no kids. But, being in my 30's and dating women in their 30's, I won't think of it as a deal breaker.

 

Your views may be valid 100 years ago, but in today's world, you may want to reconsider.

Edited March 27, 2011 by fishtaco

[heemsboobseli]

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[guy777]

Awesome test OliveOyl Thanks for sharing the results of your test. That really showed me some things. One thing I took away from it is that , life isn't without frustrations for the people who are really in demand.

 

I gave up on the online dating for now. I've been on maybe 7 online dates in the past 5 years. Only one didn't seem interested in me. In general it seemed like the only people I could arrange a dates with were dating down in my mind. Only one did I continue dating. I wasn't attracted to her enough physically, but she had a really great personality. Another I dated a few times and was attracted to physically, but the ADHD was so bad I just couldn't keep going.

 

I got the idea most all of them thought I looked better in person than I looked in my photo.

 

Anyways, I'm to a point now where I'm hitting the bar for cocktail hour and see who's there. I don't think the late night club thing is where I should be, but I like to drink some, so I need to find someone who also likes it. Finding someone who doesn't have a big problem with alcohol is the tough and slippery thing in this approach. I'm finding now I just have to nut up and go try and meet some new people in person. I just got rejected the other day after talking to a woman for awhile and asking for her number. That doesn't feel good but I'll try again.

Edited May 9, 2011 by guy777

[Guarcisdisa]

amazin best topic

[alexlakeman]

No, not a joke. It works for some

[penguinman77]

I feel for you, and your experience.

Though I am hardened and no longer have a soul, I have had similar experiences... fell in love on the first date many times, met two girl friends on line..

I like to think have become expert at lining up first dates..

The one before last, I sat at the meeting place with nervous anticipation, my heart on my sleeve, but on the exterior I was cool.. Anyway after 1 hour I realized she wasn't going to show. no txt no call bit disappointing, She went cold after that, probably found another guy, or some rubbish like that.

Anyway, my last online date (Sunny afternoon coffee), I wasn't expecting anything, and then this slim blue-jean honey turns up, with a smile like an angel.. much better than the internet photo. I kept my cool suave demeanor however, and we ended up going shopping for a dress..a zip got caught on one, so she came out of the dressing room so I could help zip her up.., she eventually found a dress she liked (for a party that Saturday), and then..out of the blue she asked if I wanted to come to the party, long story short, I reluctantly said yes, and the rest of the 'coffee date' went well, we parted with a smile and an awkward handshake and a date plan.

 

I contacted once to confirm, She canceled. (was no longer going to the party) but suggested 'perhaps something else', I called then and made suggestions for dinner instead, she was hesitant, and busy, the call ended without a new plan. So Now everything is sh*t. But I have done the correct thing. I haven't called back, and I wont. You see, the moral of the story is the following pattern that has emerged in my experience..

Show interest in a girl, or tell her you enjoyed meeting her, or initiate a second date. It wont happen.

Wait for her to contact you, (and then reply positively).. it will happen.

 

I think they (women) instinctively cancel dates even if they are interested... she is searching too, for someone that will ignore her and treat her like she isn't special, so....don't worry about the cancels and when she flakes out ...searching her feelings and wondering if you are 'the one' before you have even had a decent conversation.

The best plan is to swallow you tears and don't chase.

[Andy_K]

Alternatively, no suggesting dinner dates till after you've had sex.

 

They're not casual, light, and fun, which is where you want to be for the first few dates to avoid scaring her off. Dinner is for when you're already 100% sure she's into you.

[penguinman77]

Alternatively, no suggesting dinner dates till after you've had sex.

 

They're not casual, light, and fun, which is where you want to be for the first few dates to avoid scaring her off. Dinner is for when you're already 100% sure she's into you.

 

Hey, thanks..you were right... the prophetic words of a genius.

If you do say 'dinner' you should specifically say, 'a hamburger', or 'some pizza'.

 

So...I bent the rule slightly this time, instead of ignoring..I didn't.

Sent a short email.

Got another date.

Sweet.

[smartblonde]

I think some people use these online dating sites as an avenue for social interaction, without the intent to persue a relationship.

 

Or used as a means of quanifying their desireability...ego-boost. A woman sends a message or responds to a message and communication begins...messages go back and forth, making the woman feel wanted and desireable. And when the guy takes a leap of faith and asks to meet, she's satiated because she's knows she's still capable of attractive the opposite sex. Once fulfilled, she has no need for the guy and stops communication, until she needs her next 'hit'.

[thatone]

As I've gotten older, I've actively addressed that by messaging anyone I was already messaging with prior and saying I had been on a few dates with someone I wanted to focus on and it wouldn't be fair to go on a date right then.

 

which would be the right thing to do.

 

But I can see how someone wouldn't want to --- and I would usually wait several days to a week to do it even now --- because it pretty much guarantees I'd never go out with those guys, and they may be guys I'd otherwise be interested in.

 

no it doesn't, dropping off the face of the earth guarantees you'll never go out with those guys, that's a lame excuse. you just didn't summon the backbone to say the truth. if you told them the truth and then came back and messaged one of them later they might still be interested. if you disappear they will write you off as a flake.

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