Author Ross PK Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 The fact that people have dating analyzed down to a science, literally (with pheromones and facial structure) is ridiculous. It really isn't that hard to get a girl. Go to a bar, coffee shop, wherever. Have the "I don't care" mentality and just start up a conversation. There are 3 billion women on Earth, theres bound to be someone out there for you. Possibly lower your standards? Best of luck to you, you'll be fine. Just get out there. I can't get a girl at all, none are interested in me, so going to a bar just doesn't work. Believe me I've tried it, I always get rejected. I don't need to lower my standards, because I find most women attractive, but I've even been rejected and even been called ugly by overweight women whio have (what most people would consider) unattractive faces. I don't believe there is anyone on this Earth that would be sexually attracted to me. Even if there was, where is she? She could be in another country, how am I supposed to find her out of 3 billion women? The chances of me ever finding her in my life time are pretty much zero.
Author Ross PK Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 I actually have a friend that is similar to you. His age is a lot younger, but I can see this happening to him later in life. He is a decent human being, not socially awkward, and has some things going for him. However, he just can't seem to get a girl. Ever. Physically, he is just an average male. Nothing special, not repulsive. I believe it has a lot to do with maturity level, your confidence, your ability to interact with people, and whether you are a pushover or not. Pushover in the sense that, you don't stand up for yourself or afraid to take risks in life. Pushovers get relationships. Immature people get relationships.
TaurusTerp Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I find it hard to believe that despite being happy, confident, having self esteem, and having good enough social skills, that my personality is 100% repulsive. I've always managed to have plenty of friends. And the majority of people with personalities that aren't that great/attractive, still manage to get girls/have relationships. So how I am as a person has nothing to do with this. Those are all good traits, but not necessarily attractive. Your personality isn't repulsive - just boring and unattractive.
Author Ross PK Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 (edited) Those are all good traits, but not necessarily attractive. Your personality isn't repulsive - just boring and unattractive. What makes you think it's boring? Wouldn't you need to know me in real life in order to be able to make that claim? Btw, boring people still get relationships. So your post was an obvious trolling attempt, since surely you must be intelligent to know that a boring personality would not = life long Incel. Edited March 25, 2011 by Ross PK
USMCHokie Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 What makes you think it's boring? Wouldn't you need to know me in real life in order to be able to make that claim? Btw, boring people still get relationships. So your post was an obvious trolling attempt, since surely you must be intelligent to know that a boring personality would not = life long Incel. I can reasonably infer that you (or at least your online persona) have a weak personality (i.e., thin skin), as you've made several accusations in the few threads I've skimmed through of posters being trolls because they made comments that you either didn't like or personally thought were untrue. Saying you're happy and being happy are two separate and distinct things...saying you're confident and being confident are two separate and distinct things...saying you have an amazing personality and actually having an amazing personality are two separate and distinct things...I think you get the idea... You might need to take a moment to take a good hard look at yourself. This isn't about anyone else besides you. It isn't about others not being attracted to you because you don't share facial features or whatever other nonsense. We've all got flaws, but at the same time, we also have strengths. You need to play up all your strengths and put your best foot forward. You say that boring people get into relationships, immature people get into relationships, pushovers get into relationships, etc. Of course they do, because they downplay those "flaws" of theirs and define themselves based on their strengths. No one wakes up every morning, looks in the mirror with a big grin on their face, and says, "man, I'm so happy to be such a boring person!" Meanwhile, they continually work on those perceived flaws and turn them into strengths. Stop blaming others and "blame" yourself. Then fix it.
Author Ross PK Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 I can reasonably infer that you (or at least your online persona) have a weak personality (i.e., thin skin), as you've made several accusations in the few threads I've skimmed through of posters being trolls because they made comments that you either didn't like or personally thought were untrue. Saying you're happy and being happy are two separate and distinct things...saying you're confident and being confident are two separate and distinct things...saying you have an amazing personality and actually having an amazing personality are two separate and distinct things...I think you get the idea... You might need to take a moment to take a good hard look at yourself. This isn't about anyone else besides you. It isn't about others not being attracted to you because you don't share facial features or whatever other nonsense. We've all got flaws, but at the same time, we also have strengths. You need to play up all your strengths and put your best foot forward. You say that boring people get into relationships, immature people get into relationships, pushovers get into relationships, etc. Of course they do, because they downplay those "flaws" of theirs and define themselves based on their strengths. No one wakes up every morning, looks in the mirror with a big grin on their face, and says, "man, I'm so happy to be such a boring person!" Meanwhile, they continually work on those perceived flaws and turn them into strengths. Stop blaming others and "blame" yourself. Then fix it. What I was saying about being confiednt and whatever was the truth, unless I really don't know how it's supposed to feel to feel those things. I also usually play down my character flaws.
USMCHokie Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 What I was saying about being confiednt and whatever was the truth, unless I really don't know how it's supposed to feel to feel those things. I also usually play down my character flaws. I recently read an interesting study for work entitled, "Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments." The premise is that one can't really accurately judge one's own skill level in something without competence in that skill. And I think that concept extends to emotions and feelings. How do you actually know confidence unless you've actually felt it? And even then, how do you even know that what you felt was actually confidence?
dreamingoftigers Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I can't get a girl at all, none are interested in me, so going to a bar just doesn't work. Believe me I've tried it, I always get rejected. I don't need to lower my standards, because I find most women attractive, but I've even been rejected and even been called ugly by overweight women whio have (what most people would consider) unattractive faces. I don't believe there is anyone on this Earth that would be sexually attracted to me. Even if there was, where is she? She could be in another country, how am I supposed to find her out of 3 billion women? The chances of me ever finding her in my life time are pretty much zero. I thought that you had never directly asked anyone out on a date?
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 How many friends do you have Ross? Friends don't care about looks, if you have such a great personality you should have tons.
Author Ross PK Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 How many friends do you have Ross? Friends don't care about looks, if you have such a great personality you should have tons. I always used to have a lot of friends, however I haven't had any for years due to particular reasons.
Author Ross PK Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 I thought that you had never directly asked anyone out on a date? I haven't, it's just when I try talking to them it either never goes anywhere or they're just not interested in talking to me. On a lot of occasions friends have tried to set me up with someone. But they always either say no, or no he's really ugly, give a facial expression as though they're saying 'are you crazy?', or laugh as though the thought of even kissing me is a joke.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I always used to have a lot of friends, however I haven't had any for years due to particular reasons. Wouldn't those reasons stop you from having a gf as well?
Author Ross PK Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Wouldn't those reasons stop you from having a gf as well? I wasn't able to get a girl before those reasons.
Author Ross PK Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 I've just thought of something else, it could be because I have really weak facial features.
USMCHokie Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 I've just thought of something else, it could be because I have really weak facial features. Luckily you started a brand new thread about it so that people can tell you the exact same thing they've told you in this thread and all your past threads...
Author Ross PK Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 Luckily you started a brand new thread about it so that people can tell you the exact same thing they've told you in this thread and all your past threads... People have told me whether they can find people with weak facial features physically attractive in this thread and the other threads? I never knew that.
USMCHokie Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 People have told me whether they can find people with weak facial features physically attractive in this thread and the other threads? I never knew that. I'll just be honest with you...if your online persona is any reflection of how you act and talk in real life, then you've got some work to do...just your response above shows immaturity and general negativity. Both are unfavorable qualities.
betterdeal Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 You sound like you're depressed. It's okay to ask for help. I asked my doctor and was given anti-depressants. I also tried hypnotherapy and from that ended up having circumcision to deal with phimosis. I also tried massage and found that very soothing. From that I found out I have arthritis in one big toe and have had that operated on. I've read a lot of self-help books on topics including assertiveness training, CBT, anger management, boundaries, the inner child, NLP, and emotionally abusive relationships. I'm now doing hot yoga, have trained as a massage therapist, am starting a beginner's course in rowing tomorrow, got into gardening, music, walking, cycling and other little things that I enjoy. Everyone is unique, and everyone is capable of a happy, fulfilling life. Ask for help if you want to, stop worrying about what other people think and get to know your inner self more. I don't have a lover, and I'm not looking for one right now. I've seen opportunities and I've turned down offers. Right now, I'm happy, and I achieve this success by doing things that make me happy and not doing things that make me unhappy. Give it a go - it might work for you too.
Author Ross PK Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 I'll just be honest with you...if your online persona is any reflection of how you act and talk in real life, then you've got some work to do...just your response above shows immaturity and general negativity. Both are unfavorable qualities. Same with you and your last response, that's why I responded back in kind. You should take a look in the mirror.
USMCHokie Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 You should take a look in the mirror. I do. I'm good with what I see.
Author Ross PK Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 I do. I'm good with what I see. Why do you feel the need to rag on other people then? Usually people do this because they don't feel good about themselves and need a self esteem boost.
USMCHokie Posted March 25, 2011 Posted March 25, 2011 Why do you feel the need to rag on other people then? It's truly unfortunate that you interpret it as "ragging"...because I legitimately want to help you pull your head from out of your ass. I was in the same spot you were, albeit not as old, but I had the same esteem issues and focused so much on what was wrong with me. It took a lot of the same blunt treatment I'm giving you to get me to where I needed to be, where I realized that I was focusing more on what was wrong with me than what was right with me. No one can help you unless you want to be helped. You've basically blown off any legitimate advice you're received here.
Author Ross PK Posted March 25, 2011 Author Posted March 25, 2011 It's truly unfortunate that you interpret it as "ragging"...because I legitimately want to help you pull your head from out of your ass. I was in the same spot you were, albeit not as old, but I had the same esteem issues and focused so much on what was wrong with me. It took a lot of the same blunt treatment I'm giving you to get me to where I needed to be, where I realized that I was focusing more on what was wrong with me than what was right with me. No one can help you unless you want to be helped. You've basically blown off any legitimate advice you're received here. There is nothing anyone can do to help me get a woman.
dispatch3d Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 Because I've been happy, confident, had high self esteem, talkative, and I know my social skills are okay. Yet still girls just weren't attracted to me. it would be cognitively dissonant to think otherwise of yourself .
fishtaco Posted March 27, 2011 Posted March 27, 2011 There is nothing anyone can do to help me get a woman. I was going to give you some advice. Because I'm not a natural either. At one point I felt like you and USMCHokie. And just like him, I had to take some good punches to the face in order to wake up and smell the coffee. Now I am a recovering nice guy, some women have stayed away from me because they think I'm a player, and I bet a number of women on LS probably have no respect for me, but that's actually a good sign that I'm doing things right. The transition isn't a pleasant one. But unless you go through it, you won't be able to change anything. So if you're happy with where you are right now, keep doing the same thing. If you're not happy with where you are right now, you may want to consider perhaps a change. You can come here and complain and vent all you want, but things won't change one bit. Are you ready to live the rest of your life like this? Your choice.
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