Author Gypsy_Soul Posted March 7, 2011 Author Share Posted March 7, 2011 Apparently, I'm not the only one who has thought of this. I actually like the responses that were given in this thread, unlike here people seem like they got all panties in a twist, men and women Haters. Link to post Share on other sites
Intricategirl Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 I totally agree with this, I also think that asking for references will save more time instead of wasting it with the likely wrong person/player. Picking up in all those social cues takes more time. Think of the time one can save by checking out their character and their relationship habits through a thorough investigation. Dating is not about saving time. Human interactions are not about saving time. If you're looking to save time, I suggest a sperm bank or a guy looking for his green card. If you want a quality partner, you have to put in the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gypsy_Soul Posted March 7, 2011 Author Share Posted March 7, 2011 Dating is not about saving time. Human interactions are not about saving time. If you're looking to save time, I suggest a sperm bank or a guy looking for his green card. If you want a quality partner, you have to put in the time. If that was the case then there wouldn't be such a thing as speed dating and/or multidating. Your advice sounds very uneducated and inexperienced. Not everyone deserves for one to put in their time and efforts, that's why there is a weeding process done first. Going by your advice, I'd give every Jo shmo who wants to date me all of my time to then find out he's not worth my time. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 What if their exes are not good judges of character. My ex in prison for armed robbery so would you use her as a reference? Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 Oh dear. :lmao: Are you going to make them fill out an application form and complete an interview process too? Or is that classed as a date with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Pfiend101 Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 If a girl asked me for reference #'s from my ex I would kindly throw her the finger and leave. I dont care if its Angelina Jolie.... none of your god damn buisness. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 Oh dear. Are you going to make them fill out an application form and complete an interview process too? Or is that classed as a date with you? No, she is going to go to the date with a list of questions. "What are your expectations for this relationship?" "hmm,interesting..." "What problems have you encountered in previous relationships?" "Oh, I see" "Why did you resign from your last relationship?" "So ,fired?" "Why were you fired?" "hmm" "If I was to get pregnant in the next 3-4 months how would you provide for my child?" "Oh, ok" "I am going to need two professional references , one personal and two ex-girlfriend references. I also need name and numbers of the last three restaurants you have been to,just want to know how you treat the wait staff... thanks." Link to post Share on other sites
oaks Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 Not only exes could be used, but anyone that can vouch and speak for you as a good person or mate. Sure, if I still like you after the 3rd date you can meet my friends and ask them whatever you like. Then I'll ask them what they think of you. If you pass that test I'm sure we'll be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Sanman Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 Awesome! This thread is what will keep me entertained at work today. One issue, pretty much any of my friends would lie for me to a girl they do not know. Hell, anyone I buy a beer or pay $20 to would do the same. They would get a kick out of it after hearing the reason. In the end, if I were a player, I could still hit it and quit it. Players have lots of friends and are generally not disliked. I have friends who are players. This will not end well Link to post Share on other sites
harmfulsweetz Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 No, she is going to go to the date with a list of questions. "What are your expectations for this relationship?" "hmm,interesting..." "What problems have you encountered in previous relationships?" "Oh, I see" "Why did you resign from your last relationship?" "So ,fired?" "Why were you fired?" "hmm" "If I was to get pregnant in the next 3-4 months how would you provide for my child?" "Oh, ok" "I am going to need two professional references , one personal and two ex-girlfriend references. I also need name and numbers of the last three restaurants you have been to,just want to know how you treat the wait staff... thanks." That'd be one hell of a date! GG, in doing this, you open yourself up to looking like a paranoid psycho, who has issues-thus making the guy in question, toodle off elsewhere. Maybe that's the intent? Link to post Share on other sites
Intricategirl Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 If that was the case then there wouldn't be such a thing as speed dating and/or multidating. Your advice sounds very uneducated and inexperienced. Not everyone deserves for one to put in their time and efforts, that's why there is a weeding process done first. Going by your advice, I'd give every Jo shmo who wants to date me all of my time to then find out he's not worth my time. You want references and my advice is uneducated and inexperienced. Well, okay then! How much time does it take as soon as a guy says "Wassup, hottie! Holla back" to decide he's probably not worth the effort? I never said to give them hours and hours each, and it's really obtuse to act as if I did. And speed dating is simply one tool. Which, ironically, is also a really good description for the people who use it, IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Intricategirl Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 Aw crap. Common sense hit me upside the head. I think I'm going to take my own advice and not invest any more time in this thread. It just doesn't seem to have the qualities I'm looking for. Intelligence, compassion, common sense... Sure, it's got a great sense of humor, but I just don't want to get invested with it, cause I don't see anything long-term coming from it. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMagicBullet Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 Sanman: One issue, pretty much any of my friends would lie for me to a girl they do not know. Hell, anyone I buy a beer or pay $20 to would do the same. They would get a kick out of it after hearing the reason. Exactly! Someone demanding references from their dates instead of taking the time to get to know them -- I can see a lot of people willing to come to the aid of the "candidate" just to mess with someone like that. But I'd insist on a 2 beer minimum if I'm going to be a good reference. Intricategirl: I think I'm going to take my own advice and not invest any more time in this thread. It just doesn't seem to have the qualities I'm looking for. Intelligence, compassion, common sense... Sure, it's got a great sense of humor, but I just don't want to get invested with it, cause I don't see anything long-term coming from it. Yes, I have to agree. Though I'm afraid I'll probably be back to lurk through the responses here. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBigQuestion Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 OP, with your attitude it's safe to say you can look forward to many years of loneliness and love interests "all of a sudden" disappearing from your life. Better start stocking up on litter boxes and a few pounds of catnip. Link to post Share on other sites
Intricategirl Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 OP, with your attitude it's safe to say you can look forward to many years of loneliness and love interests "all of a sudden" disappearing from your life. Better start stocking up on litter boxes and a few pounds of catnip. Like button... where'd I put that like button??? Link to post Share on other sites
tman666 Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 Come on now guys, stop being so hard on GorgeousGirl! Can't you see that she's the smartest, most clever, and most physically fit one of all? Someone like her doesn't have a choice but to weed out the unclean! You're all just jelly... GG, I'll be sending in my resume shortly. Reference(s): Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gypsy_Soul Posted March 7, 2011 Author Share Posted March 7, 2011 So anyway, my confidence and beauty have nothing to do with this thread, lets leave that out of the topic at hand, thanks. Moving on to the topic, I think this could possibly be an extra great tool one can incorporate along with getting to know the other person. It wouldn't just be used alone. Although I know how it can be seen as a bit nutty, what I find interesting is that particular reaction would lead me to believe that their past dealings/relationships haven't been the most amicable and thus have something to hide. For one, the references can be used to confirm certain things about a person. If they don't match up after you decided to start dating this particular person,well of course they will get nexted, quite easily. Yes, folks. Getting dates is not the problem for me as it is for many on here. My problem is that I don't settle and I have trouble finding that meets my standards. Yes people can lie and have people lie for them, but like I said it's an extra tool to go off by, not the main one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gypsy_Soul Posted March 7, 2011 Author Share Posted March 7, 2011 actually, I really don't like to talk over the phone. I find many guys do and they have nothing to say! I usually do ask such questions over the phone, because I talk in the phone to get information or pass it on. I think most people like to waste time on the phone to talk about nothing. These are good questions, I have better but I'm on my phone typing this and it's too much to type right now. No, she is going to go to the date with a list of questions. "What are your expectations for this relationship?" "hmm,interesting..." "What problems have you encountered in previous relationships?" "Oh, I see" "Why did you resign from your last relationship?" "So ,fired?" "Why were you fired?" "hmm" "If I was to get pregnant in the next 3-4 months how would you provide for my child?" "Oh, ok" "I am going to need two professional references , one personal and two ex-girlfriend references. I also need name and numbers of the last three restaurants you have been to,just want to know how you treat the wait staff... thanks." Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 You should go ahead and do this and come back and post to let us know how it goes. I'd be interested to read how it pans out. Link to post Share on other sites
Jynxx Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 So anyway, my confidence and beauty have nothing to do with this thread, lets leave that out of the topic at hand, thanks. You're wrong. Guys tolerate spoiled bratty behavior from girls with great looks that an overweight girl with a skin disease won't get away with. Depending on how good you look and how obvious your sense of entitlement is in everyday life will be crucial to determine roughly how often your nifty little trick will work for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gypsy_Soul Posted March 7, 2011 Author Share Posted March 7, 2011 That might be true, although I don't see me asking for past history as spoiled bratty behavior. Being choosy and cautious about who I choose to date is being smart and I don't see how this can be construed as feeling self entitled. It's not a trick, how can anyone try to trick someone by asking for references. Especially when the guys on here were the ones saying they would trick the person asking for them. Quite backwards. (wow I have an obsessed stalker! No this isn't talking about you Jynxx. Some people need to get a life. I love the anonymity of this place, I think I'll keep it that way! Thanks but no thanks!) You're wrong. Guys tolerate spoiled bratty behavior from girls with great looks that an overweight girl with a skin disease won't get away with. Depending on how good you look and how obvious your sense of entitlement is in everyday life will be crucial to determine roughly how often your nifty little trick will work for you. Link to post Share on other sites
SarcasticBlonde Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 That might be true, although I don't see me asking for past history as spoiled bratty behavior. Being choosy and cautious about who I choose to date is being smart and I don't see how this can be construed as feeling self entitled. It's not a trick, how can anyone try to trick someone by asking for references. Especially when the guys on here were the ones saying they would trick the person asking for them. Quite backwards. (wow I have an obsessed stalker! No this isn't talking about you Jynxx. Some people need to get a life. I love the anonymity of this place, I think I'll keep it that way! Thanks but no thanks!) Its very clear why you are still single. Lol. Link to post Share on other sites
snug.bunny Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 I don't understand why you are using another womans body as your avatar. You named yourself "gorgeous" so show it! You must think highly of yourself by using that screen name. The reference idea is only gonna get men tell you to go kick rocks. SB you're funny. I've seen...not pretty at all. It's what people do when they lack in other areas they have to fluff themselves up, especially anonymously. Link to post Share on other sites
SarcasticBlonde Posted March 7, 2011 Share Posted March 7, 2011 SB you're funny. I've seen...not pretty at all. It's what people do when they lack in other areas they have to fluff themselves up, especially anonymously. I was just curious but than she goes and says I'm her "stalker" wtf? Oh well! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gypsy_Soul Posted March 7, 2011 Author Share Posted March 7, 2011 (edited) SB you're funny. I've seen...not pretty at all. It's what people do when they lack in other areas they have to fluff themselves up, especially anonymously. I hope you're not talkig about me. If so, I'd like to know where you've seen me, this oughta be a laugh, because I never posted anything linking my identity. Not close at all, sorry to burst anyone's bubbles here but I prefer anonymity because I've posted things about my ex that I don't want people to link me to. I am a very private person, and extremely secure. I'd prefer for people to stop following me around and asking for my pictures, which I find weird and creepy btw, thanks in advance. Edited March 7, 2011 by GorgeousGirl Link to post Share on other sites
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