Eternity001 Posted December 13, 2010 Posted December 13, 2010 I'd do it if I were you, but I tend to roll that way and would find it hard not to in your situation. She'll feel it. Keep it simple and like someone else said, don't reply to anything she says if she does. I quite liked your first message personally. The more you insinutate how much of a lie your time together was the better I reckon.
dk.bnz.chi Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 this is way better without bday wishes. i would edit a little. "Hello Ex. I'm glad that unanswered questions regarding the way our relationship ended were answered via Sunday's mini-feed on Facebook. I respect your decision, but the way it was handled lacked the honesty and respect I deserved after our time together. Regardless, I wish you the best. Take care."
TheGrimSweeper Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 this is way better without bday wishes. i would edit a little. "Hello Ex. I'm glad that unanswered questions regarding the way our relationship ended were answered via Sunday's mini-feed on Facebook. I respect your decision, but the way it was handled lacked the honesty and respect I deserved after our time together. Regardless, I wish you the best. Take care." "Hey, I'm glad some confusion was lifted regarding the way our relationship ended were answered via Sunday's mini-feed on Facebook. Though I respect your decision, I find the lack of respect and honesty in finding out this way very disappointing after our time together. Regardless, I wish you the best. Take care." Slight change on it.
dng Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Bro, don't wish her any good or bad. Stay out of the emotions. Just let her know you know, if you want to impact some guilt. Let her know you are glad someone with her set of values is out of your life.
dng Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Oh and be ready for the barrage of emails, texts and calls that will ensue. Like the song of the mermaid, it will be hard to resist and she'll probably say anything and everything you want to hear. Be ready for it.
dk.bnz.chi Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 this is better "f..k u bitch ,i know you left me for another,go f..k yourself" just kidding,don't ever send this one
dng Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Another thing. If you hear from her, she will flip it around to you, and imply this new relationship has nothing to do with you, or with her leaving you, and blah blah blah. That's why you can't reply. It would only start another cycle of wasted time and emotions.
dk.bnz.chi Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 "Hey, I'm glad the confusion was lifted regarding the way our relationship ended via Sunday's mini-feed on Facebook.I agree with your decision,but find the lack of respect and honesty disturbing after our time together . Regardless, I wish you the best. Take care."
dk.bnz.chi Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 i personally wouldn't send her anything. your question was answered and you can truly try to move on now. if you send that email it'll make you look like a p...y. do you plan on achieving something? maybe pity from her? do you really want that? i would also suggest do like the other poster said and act like you aren't aware of anything and see if she wants to make moves on you and then let out what you know if she doesn't bring it up herself.
TheGrimSweeper Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 i personally wouldn't send her anything. your question was answered and you can truly try to move on now. if you send that email it'll make you look like a p...y. do you plan on achieving something? maybe pity from her? do you really want that? i would also suggest do like the other poster said and act like you aren't aware of anything and see if she wants to make moves on you and then let out what you know if she doesn't bring it up herself. This is probably the best way to do it. Really at this point theres no point sending this email. If she ever tries to get back with you, you can bring this up and politely tell her to **** off.
Chi townD Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Personally, you know your not gonna take her back so why sugar coat it? send an e-mail: " Well, I'm glad that you've taken this time as 'me time', oh wait, that was a lie. Well...I'm glad I had nothing to worry about with momma's boy, opps...that was a lie too. Ummm....I'm glad you didn't end our relationship for someone else. Oh Damn, that was a lie as well. Well, I guess I'm just glad you're out of my life." Okay, okay...I know I can be vindictive....
fiat500 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 You're lucky. It's so much easier for you to move on now since she's done this. You will never see her the same way again. That's a good thing for you.
Author suddendumpee Posted December 14, 2010 Author Posted December 14, 2010 if you send that email it'll make you look like a p...y. do you plan on achieving something? maybe pity from her? do you really want that? i would also suggest do like the other poster said and act like you aren't aware of anything and see if she wants to make moves on you and then let out what you know if she doesn't bring it up herself. Honestly, I just want her to face the fact that she didn't get away with it. Right now I feel like a sucker for falling for her lies. I also don't believe she will ever try to rekindle anything. We were LDR. It was never convenient, and she can have any guy she wants and she knows it. I mistakenly put her on a pedestal. She probably thinks she can have me back whenever she wants. Why not let her deal with the fact that I now know that she is a ****ty person?
homebrew Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Oops... I got SuddenDumpee confused with Green Policy... My bad! Having said that... You are / were a good guy and BOTH of you know it. Don't give her a reason / permission to not feel / know that. What she will do if you choose to contact her: She can convince herself / her family / her friends (for all we know, your friends, family, etc.) that you are the crazy EX who stalked her and can't seem to let her go. She will believe / feel that she was justified in what she did and never feel remorse or guilt. Do you want to rob her of that? You CANNOT AND WILL NOT win a battle within her mind no matter what facts you present. Let her live in the he!! of her own creation! What is ironic about it, is she will not be able to stop herself from contacting you in the future (months / years). You damaged her self-esteem and self-image by being a man about the whole situation. She will need to have it restored by you... Don't be fooled, although she hides it well, deep down, she knows what she did and it bothers / hurts her. She will seek you out to apologize and beg for forgiveness so she will feel better about herself. At that point, you can decide if you want too.
Hhhh Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 WHAT the ****..... hold on... i read your original post her ex broke her heart by cheating on her and she basically did the same thing in a sneakier way... there was no gap between the relationships personally i would send a message... wow shes heartless
Eternity001 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 I'd just send the email dude. If your here asking then you're leaning towards doing it about 80-20 anyway. You're just looking for someone to say "do it" with conviction. If you're anything like me you probably won't be satisfied till you do anyway.
hART Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Don't say anything, do you really want the drama that will ensue after this? What if you want to meet up with one of her friends? She sounds selfish and will interpret whatever you say against you. People have a tendancy to justify whatever behavior they do, negative or positive. Why cause yourself stress or give this woman a moment more of your time? Ultimatly it is up to you and if you need to vent, so be it.
GreenPolicy Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 (edited) Oops... I got SuddenDumpee confused with Green Policy... My bad! Having said that... You are / were a good guy and BOTH of you know it. Don't give her a reason / permission to not feel / know that. What she will do if you choose to contact her: She can convince herself / her family / her friends (for all we know, your friends, family, etc.) that you are the crazy EX who stalked her and can't seem to let her go. She will believe / feel that she was justified in what she did and never feel remorse or guilt. Do you want to rob her of that? You CANNOT AND WILL NOT win a battle within her mind no matter what facts you present. Let her live in the he!! of her own creation! What is ironic about it, is she will not be able to stop herself from contacting you in the future (months / years). You damaged her self-esteem and self-image by being a man about the whole situation. She will need to have it restored by you... Don't be fooled, although she hides it well, deep down, she knows what she did and it bothers / hurts her. She will seek you out to apologize and beg for forgiveness so she will feel better about herself. At that point, you can decide if you want too. Are you talking to me or Sudden Dumpee? Also, I agree with the guy who said don't contact her. In her own mind, she doesn't think she left Sudden Dumpee for the new guy. Once she mentally checked out of her thing with Sudden Dumpee, pursuing other guys had nothing to do with him. Yeah, it's weak justification, but nobody wants to own up to being a *****ty person. Edited December 14, 2010 by GreenPolicy
dk.bnz.chi Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 Honestly, I just want her to face the fact that she didn't get away with it. Right now I feel like a sucker for falling for her lies. I also don't believe she will ever try to rekindle anything. We were LDR. It was never convenient, and she can have any guy she wants and she knows it. I mistakenly put her on a pedestal. She probably thinks she can have me back whenever she wants. Why not let her deal with the fact that I now know that she is a ****ty person? she thinks she can have you whenever she wants if you send her that e-mail,THAT'S FOR SURE all this will make you look like a big big baby in front of her and in front of yourself. you might not see this right now,but down the road you will realize it. if you think that you feel like a sucker,wait a month and see what a sucker you'll feel then if you send the e-mail.
GreenPolicy Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 I cannot emphasize enough how wrong it is to call her on her crap. I agree with homebrew. Let her stew in her situation. By way of example, I'm white. When I was 18 years old, I had a job as a library page. One of my coworkers was a black guy. We were both smart guys bound for college, and I don't know why I did this, I guess I was trying to show how "hip" and "post-racial" I was, but I told him a racist joke making fun of black people. I deserved to have my ass kicked for that. What did he do? He just ignored me in a show of dignity. I'm not a bad guy, and I'm not a racist, but to this day that incident burns me up. If he had hit me, maybe I'd remember it differently. I think the same principle applies here.
Defiler89 Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 The very exact same thing happend to me 6 hours ago . Thats why Im on this forum and I can't sleep , but she dumped me for that "guy that poses no threat" .
Author suddendumpee Posted December 14, 2010 Author Posted December 14, 2010 She can convince herself / her family / her friends (for all we know, your friends, family, etc.) that you are the crazy EX who stalked her and can't seem to let her go. You think one 2 sentence e-mail after finding out she cheated and lied would have this effect? She scrambled to hide the album, so she was obviously worried that I saw it. She obviously doesn't want me to know that she's a liar/cheater. This is why I'm contemplating confronting it. I do see what you're saying. Sucks that after all these responses, I'm still on the fence.
Author suddendumpee Posted December 14, 2010 Author Posted December 14, 2010 WHAT the ****..... hold on... i read your original post her ex broke her heart by cheating on her and she basically did the same thing in a sneakier way... there was no gap between the relationships personally i would send a message... wow shes heartless Trust me. I've thought the same thing. How can someone know how this feels do this to another person. One thing that drew me to her was her strong adversity to infidelity. When I met her at a work meeting, she was disgusted by all of the rampant infidelity by people in the sales organization. Funny how that works.
dk.bnz.chi Posted December 14, 2010 Posted December 14, 2010 she doesn't want you to know she's a liar because she still cares for you. maybe she's not sure about her relationship with the other guy.who knows. her friends all know about the new guy,so she doesn't care what they think. she hides from you for reasons only she knows. if she didn't give a crap about you,she would care less to have pics removed by her or friend or whoever,she would care less if you caught her lying. but whatever the reasons are,don't send the e-mail,she knows she is wrong,otherwise the pics wouldn't come off. can i slap you a lil bit so you wake up?
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