tigressA Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Sorry GC but I think you're being incredibly naive. Craig is not a commitment phobe. He just does not want a commitment with you and he never will. He has said point-blank you are not his type and that he thinks of you only as a friend. Sexual exclusivity does not count for anything. The fact that his mother likes you does not count for anything (Yes, I read that in your other thread). Nothing counts but the fact that he has said to you that he only will see you as a friend . The sooner you get that truth into your head and have it stick, the better off you'll be.
LisaLee Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 I won't lose any sleep over him, especially if he doesn't like me that way. Yes you will. As much time, effort, dissecting, turning the negative things he says so it is positive for you, I am sure you will lose sleep over him. Goose, I don't think he's the one in denial. We talked about this in your last thread as well.
tigressA Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Yes you will. As much time, effort, dissecting, turning the negative things he says so it is positive for you, I am sure you will lose sleep over him. Goose, I don't think he's the one in denial. We talked about this in your last thread as well. I agree. I find the whole thing rather sad. GC is in serious denial. Like Stage 5.
Author GooseChaser Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 Sorry GC but I think you're being incredibly naive. Craig is not a commitment phobe. He just does not want a commitment with you and he never will. He has said point-blank you are not his type and that he thinks of you only as a friend. Sexual exclusivity does not count for anything. The fact that his mother likes you does not count for anything (Yes, I read that in your other thread). Nothing counts but the fact that he has said to you that he only will see you as a friend . The sooner you get that truth into your head and have it stick, the better off you'll be. How many times do I have to repeat that I understand this?
tigressA Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Clearly, you do not understand it, because if you really did then you would've moved on by now. You would not be saying "He doesn't want to be my boyfriend 'at the moment'." You would understand that he does not want to be your boyfriend, PERIOD, and move on. But you don't move on. You refer to him as having "competition" in the form of Arnold and other guys, as if that will change anything. So no, you don't understand.
Author GooseChaser Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 Clearly, you do not understand it, because if you really did then you would've moved on by now. You would not be saying "He doesn't want to be my boyfriend 'at the moment'." You would understand that he does not want to be your boyfriend, PERIOD, and move on. But you don't move on. You refer to him as having "competition" in the form of Arnold and other guys, as if that will change anything. So no, you don't understand. Oh, I see what you're saying, and you have a point, Tigress! I'm probably going to tell him that this isn't going anywhere, and he "doesn't find me attractive" anyway, so there's no point continuing. I would totally be happy with being just friends with him again. Now that I've met Arnold and know that I have other options out there if I just look for them, there's no reason to settle with what little scraps Craig is willing to offer me.
Author GooseChaser Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 It's about what you feel comfortable doing, not what others feel comfortable doing. If a woman sleeps with me too early, I chalk her up as easy and I move on and cut her off, there have been times where I haven't taken up a woman on her offer because I didn't want to hurt her feelings for that reason. A woman has to challenge me to excite me, to stimulate me and she has to have an air of mystery about her to keep me interested, if she can do all of these things and we have fantastic chemsitry, she will get me, all of me and no one else will. If she puts out too early then she's not relationship material in my book. Thank you for your thoughts, Sphere! That is all very interesting! I will try to adopt some of those good qualities that are attractive to men. I'm a bit young and inexperienced, and I am learning all the time! I appreciate the advice!
Author GooseChaser Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 I have created a new account for myself on the dating site Okcupid! I think my profile looks good so far, and I think it will be a good step for me! This way I have another place to meet new people, and I know it will be a positive addition in my life, as long as I use it wisely! I'm excited!
Sabali Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Yeah, I understand that we aren't committed to each other, so he is free to date other people. That is why I have decided to date Arnold as well as Craig. I think Craig still could change his mind, which is why he is still in the running. He isn't a complete commitment-phobe, but just isn't in the state of mind to want commitment at this time. I think when he is in a better place mentally, he would be willing to commit. He has told me that he isn't interested in anyone else. That is also part of the reason I got involved with him, to help him get over the other girl he loved before, but who didn't feel the same way for him. I am his friend first and foremost. We did agree on sexual exclusivity, which made me feel more secure in choosing to have sex with him. For that reason, I feel a bit guilty that I got sexual with the other guy while still under that agreement, and I feel that I should tell Craig what happened, and let him know that I am seeing other people. The fact is, though, that we are both still single and unattached. Perhaps we need to eliminate the exclusivity agreement for the time being while we aren't committed to each other and dating others. I just think it's important that we agree on if we are really exclusive or if we can see others. I am interested in Arnold because he seems to have a lot of interest in me, and I like that. I also think he is an attractive person and likeable. GooseChaser, first let me say that I like you, girl. You got spunk! How many women will have the guts to masturbate with you on the first date? Almost none! There is no shortage of women who will have sex with you on the first date but masturbation? Man, you are a true gem. No one appreciates you but me! Now, lets see how deep is your spunk. I am about to tell you how you can get Craig to go crazy over you. Yep, I am about to let you in on how to make Craig have huge trouble in leaving you alone. Come close...close the door behind you... were you followed? Are you sure no one followed you here? Okay, here is what you do: On second thought, just PM me. I will tell you but you got to promise not to torture him with it.
Star Gazer Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Now, lets see how deep is your spunk. I am about to tell you how you can get Craig to go crazy over you. Yep, I am about to let you in on how to make Craig have huge trouble in leaving you alone. Come close...close the door behind you... were you followed? Are you sure no one followed you here? Okay, here is what you do: On second thought, just PM me. I will tell you but you got to promise not to torture him with it. Oh, c'mon!!! You're not going to share your advice??
Sabali Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Oh, c'mon!!! You're not going to share your advice?? I'm already feeling guilty about this already so I am not sure if I can actually go through with it. She just won me over with the whole first-date-mutual-masturbation-without-going-all-the-way thing. I figured I'd help her out but maybe it would be wrong to do that to Craig.
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