Star Gazer Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 No, just kissed and sorta masturbated together. We didn't go all the way. Interesting. Still not a smart move to do that with a guy on the day you meet him, if you have any interest in a relationship or even being considered GF material...
Author GooseChaser Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 Interesting. Still not a smart move to do that with a guy on the day you meet him, if you have any interest in a relationship or even being considered GF material... No, this is the second time I've seen him. It would be a good idea for me to try to slow things down though so we could get to know each other, definitely. At least I know he's interested!
Author GooseChaser Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 On the date we started out meeting in front of the library of the college's main campus. He could only stay for 15 minutes or so, so I suggested that I go with him to the other campus, where he was going to study with a group. He thought that was okay, so we started driving, and on the way we got to talk and get to know each other a bit better. The conversation turned to kinkiness and spanking, so you know, I could see where that was going, haha! One more thing about him: he is a bit taller than me, 22 (a year older), and studying to be an ambulance EMT.
Author GooseChaser Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 He was also sweet and texted me a few minutes ago to make sure I could get back to the other campus all right. That was nice.
Author GooseChaser Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 One thing he asked me that was sorta unusual was if I was masturbating before, during, or after his call last night. After a pause, I told him that I did happen to be doing that before and after his call, but I didn't mention that it was purely coincidence and had nothing to do with his call. I was just in the mood to watch some porn. Ehehe. x] I actually learned a few things watching it... it was interesting. Anyway, that was sorta a weird question. I got the feeling from it that he was implying that that was exactly what he was doing during the call. It's just odd to think about. Well, I definitely know what's prominently on his mind right now... sex, sex, and more sex! He seems very horny. I guess I just have that effect on some guys....
Author GooseChaser Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 (edited) Now Craig has asked me out to go with him to LA for a day! It sounds like fun, and I think I'll go and see how it goes! Craig still has a chance, but he has competition, for sure, and it's likely Craig doesn't want commitment, but I'm going to give it a bit more time and see where things go. I'll try to get to know both guys better, have fun, and hopefully they will enjoy themselves too. No pressure or rush here. I know what kind of qualities Craig likes. He likes women who are "sexy, wild, dangerous"... fun-loving, exciting, outgoing, confident, challenging, smart, funny, alluring. I could try to bring that side of myself out more for him. Maybe he'd like that. Edited October 5, 2010 by GooseChaser
Author GooseChaser Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 Hey guys, would it be a good idea for me to say "no" to sex until I am in a relationship with someone? That way they have more reason to pursue that and they don't get to take advantage of the benefits without first committing to me.
Author GooseChaser Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 Hey guys, would it be a good idea for me to say "no" to sex until I am in a relationship with someone? That way they have more reason to pursue that and they don't get to take advantage of the benefits without first committing to me.
welikeincrowds Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Hey guys, would it be a good idea for me to say "no" to sex until I am in a relationship with someone? That way they have more reason to pursue that and they don't get to take advantage of the benefits without first committing to me. That's a horrible idea. Where the hell did you come up with this? You really should be having sex on the first date. Within the first hour, if possible.
Andy_K Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 (edited) Hey guys, would it be a good idea for me to say "no" to sex until I am in a relationship with someone? That way they have more reason to pursue that and they don't get to take advantage of the benefits without first committing to me. No. 1) It's manipulative. A smart guy will see through it, and one who is too stupid to you surely wouldn't want as a boyfriend anyway. 2) Do you really want someone committing to you purely so they can get their rocks off? Wouldn't you rather they commit to you because they want to be with you? 3) If it works, what happens when the guy's bored of nailing you and suddenly has no real reason to be with you? You either get dumped, or a relationship with a guy who will never, ever, really be as interested in a future together as you are. Try it if you like. You'll find out the hard way! Edited October 5, 2010 by Andy_K
LisaLee Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 GC... you are using sex with both of these guys?? You are having sex with one guy and masturbating with another?? Don't you need to slow your horses down and go one at a time?
Author GooseChaser Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 Wow, I'm surprised so many people think waiting to have sex is a bad idea. I mean, since I'm dating two people, I think it would be smart to just forget about it for the moment and just get to know them better individually as people first. It would be no loss to me if one of them lost interest because of it; it would just show me that they weren't worth it. Once I decide I like one of them more, then I can become more serious with them and maybe even form a commitment. I'm looking for love here. I do think waiting would be valuable.
tigressA Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 GC... you are using sex with both of these guys?? You are having sex with one guy and masturbating with another?? Don't you need to slow your horses down and go one at a time? Yeah, I know. Using sex--whether engaging in it or deliberately withholding it--to get a guy is very unhealthy.
Author GooseChaser Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 Yeah, I know. Using sex--whether engaging in it or deliberately withholding it--to get a guy is very unhealthy. What's unhealthy about waiting to have sex until you are a man's girlfriend? You can still date and have a good time without it.
tigressA Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 Wow, I'm surprised so many people think waiting to have sex is a bad idea. I mean, since I'm dating two people, I think it would be smart to just forget about it for the moment and just get to know them better individually as people first. It would be no loss to me if one of them lost interest because of it; it would just show me that they weren't worth it. Once I decide I like one of them more, then I can become more serious with them and maybe even form a commitment. I'm looking for love here. I do think waiting would be valuable. But you're not waiting! You've already engaged in sexual activity with both these guys and NOW you've decided you're going to wait? If these guys aren't stupid (and I doubt they are) they will know that you're doing it as a test to see if they're "really interested". You are playing games now. If you really wanted to wait you wouldn't have gone so far with either of them in the first place!
Author GooseChaser Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 GC... you are using sex with both of these guys?? You are having sex with one guy and masturbating with another?? Don't you need to slow your horses down and go one at a time? I do agree with you that I need to slow down. That's what I plan to do! Maybe that would make it simpler to just get to know them with less complications.
Author GooseChaser Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 But you're not waiting! You've already engaged in sexual activity with both these guys and NOW you've decided you're going to wait? If these guys aren't stupid (and I doubt they are) they will know that you're doing it as a test to see if they're "really interested". You are playing games now. If you really wanted to wait you wouldn't have gone so far with either of them in the first place! When I'm undecided between them, I don't really want to be involved that way with two guys at once. For one, it's safer, health-wise, to only be with one at a time. It's only fair to both of them, in the case that I did, that I told them that there was someone else and that we were not exclusive. That non-exclusivity in itself would change things.
tigressA Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 (edited) When I'm undecided between them, I don't really want to be involved that way with two guys at once. For one, it's safer, health-wise, to only be with one at a time. It's only fair to both of them, in the case that I did, that I told them that there was someone else and that we were not exclusive. That non-exclusivity in itself would change things. That is not what I mean. Why did you bother getting so physical with Arnold on your first date if you wanted to "wait"????? Waiting does not entail having sex or engaging in mutual masturbation on a first date, and THEN deciding to hold off. What you are doing now is playing games. And these guys will see right through it. If you really want to wait, don't go so far so early in the first place. I think you still have a chance with Arnold if you limit your physical activity to what you've already done and don't go any further. You can't go backward though, because he'll see right through it. Edited October 5, 2010 by tigressA
Author GooseChaser Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 That is not what I mean. Why did you bother getting so physical with Arnold on your first date if you wanted to "wait"????? Waiting does not entail having sex or engaging in mutual masturbation on a first date, and THEN deciding to hold off. What you are doing now is playing games. And these guys will see right through it. If you really want to wait, don't go so far so early in the first place. I think you still have a chance with Arnold if you limit your physical activity to what you've already done and don't go any further. You can't go backward though, because he'll see right through it. I think that's what I'll do. I have no problem waiting until it's the right time.
yessy21 Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 okay. look. honestly i beleive he wont commit either way. he said ur not his type. that means he will not be proud of calling u his girlfriend. hes attracted wich is good. but i dont beleive he will commit in any other way. and dont be suprised if he meets another girl and he actually dates her later on. i have been through this.
tigressA Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 okay. look. honestly i beleive he wont commit either way. he said ur not his type. that means he will not be proud of calling u his girlfriend. hes attracted wich is good. but i dont beleive he will commit in any other way. and dont be suprised if he meets another girl and he actually dates her later on. i have been through this. See this, GC? Do you want to bother to try "finding love" with a guy who has blatantly said to you that he does not want you to be his girlfriend? That you're not his type? Think about it. Really, really think about it. Withholding sex is not going to get him to commit. Dating other guys is not going to get him to commit. There is nothing you can do to get this guy to commit. So why keep trying?
Author GooseChaser Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 okay. look. honestly i beleive he wont commit either way. he said ur not his type. that means he will not be proud of calling u his girlfriend. hes attracted wich is good. but i dont beleive he will commit in any other way. and dont be suprised if he meets another girl and he actually dates her later on. i have been through this. Yeah, I understand that we aren't committed to each other, so he is free to date other people. That is why I have decided to date Arnold as well as Craig. I think Craig still could change his mind, which is why he is still in the running. He isn't a complete commitment-phobe, but just isn't in the state of mind to want commitment at this time. I think when he is in a better place mentally, he would be willing to commit. He has told me that he isn't interested in anyone else. That is also part of the reason I got involved with him, to help him get over the other girl he loved before, but who didn't feel the same way for him. I am his friend first and foremost. We did agree on sexual exclusivity, which made me feel more secure in choosing to have sex with him. For that reason, I feel a bit guilty that I got sexual with the other guy while still under that agreement, and I feel that I should tell Craig what happened, and let him know that I am seeing other people. The fact is, though, that we are both still single and unattached. Perhaps we need to eliminate the exclusivity agreement for the time being while we aren't committed to each other and dating others. I just think it's important that we agree on if we are really exclusive or if we can see others. I am interested in Arnold because he seems to have a lot of interest in me, and I like that. I also think he is an attractive person and likeable.
Author GooseChaser Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 See this, GC? Do you want to bother to try "finding love" with a guy who has blatantly said to you that he does not want you to be his girlfriend? That you're not his type? Think about it. Really, really think about it. Withholding sex is not going to get him to commit. Dating other guys is not going to get him to commit. There is nothing you can do to get this guy to commit. So why keep trying? I understand that he isn't interested in the idea of being my boyfriend at the moment. I am willing to give it a chance, but I will be okay if it doesn't work out, and in that case I will pursue things with Arnold. It is okay if it doesn't end in a relationship, but if it doesn't go anywhere, I will have to end it and find love elsewhere.
Star Gazer Posted October 5, 2010 Posted October 5, 2010 okay. look. honestly i beleive he wont commit either way. he said ur not his type. that means he will not be proud of calling u his girlfriend. hes attracted wich is good. but i dont beleive he will commit in any other way. and dont be suprised if he meets another girl and he actually dates her later on. i have been through this. He's actually not attracted. In another thread, she quoted his texts, and he flat out told her he's not attracted to her, that he was just f**king her (his choice of words, not mine) because he was horny.
Author GooseChaser Posted October 5, 2010 Author Posted October 5, 2010 He's actually not attracted. In another thread, she quoted his texts, and he flat out told her he's not attracted to her, that he was just f**king her (his choice of words, not mine) because he was horny. I think he's in denial, hehe, but if he really truly isn't attracted, which could be possible (he is a bit subdued and quiet in bed), I can find someone else easily. I won't lose any sleep over him, especially if he doesn't like me that way.
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