Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 23, 2010 Author Posted September 23, 2010 Donna, just because I haven't responded to your posts, doesn't mean that I didn't read your advice and absorb it. I do think that you are one of the posters genuinely trying to help. There are certain posters that will make unhelpful digs to anything I post. So pretty much anything associated with their user name is ignored. As for my problems, yes I am aware of them. Yes I would like to fix them. But just because they look fixable to you, doesn't mean that they are easy to fix for me. I can pinpoint my problems and think that I will act differently from now on, but then when I get overwhelmed by emotions, all the logic flies out of the window. And no, my threads are not attention seeking. I am genuinely going through emotional turmoil and it often feels better to vent.
LisaLee Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 This. Most people are genuinely trying to help. Others have ulterior motives, like bringing their own crap in or taking digs at others. It quickly becomes clear which group people fall into. Sometimes I think there is a misperception, though. I recall just a few nights ago when you thought one of my posts was mean when I did not intend for it to be.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 23, 2010 Author Posted September 23, 2010 Sometimes I think there is a misperception, though. I recall just a few nights ago when you thought one of my posts was mean when I did not intend for it to be. You implied that she is crazy. Not mean at all
LisaLee Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 You implied that she is crazy. Not mean at all No I didn't.
D-Lish Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 This. Most people are genuinely trying to help. Others have ulterior motives, like bringing their own crap in or taking digs at others. It quickly becomes clear which group people fall into. 99% of my posts are intended to help others, provide some insight, give a point of view I myself deem honest and without judgement. Sometimes it's really, intensely frustrating when you post to someone with a great amount of potential- and you can see the potential, but they don't, and they don't want to listen to you- or anyone else that sees what you do.
Star Gazer Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 You implied that she is crazy. Not mean at all Doesn't Shadow use the word "crazy" to describe her own behavior?
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 23, 2010 Author Posted September 23, 2010 99% of my posts are intended to help others, provide some insight, give a point of view I myself deem honest and without judgement. Sometimes it's really, intensely frustrating when you post to someone with a great amount of potential- and you can see the potential, but they don't, and they don't want to listen to you- or anyone else that sees what you do. D - I have no doubt that your posts are well meaning.
Star Gazer Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 99%Sometimes it's really, intensely frustrating when you post to someone with a great amount of potential- and you can see the potential, but they don't, and they don't want to listen to you- or anyone else that sees what you do. Again, spot on, D. And I think that intense frustration sometimes manifests itself as exasperation.
donnamaybe Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 Donna, just because I haven't responded to your posts, doesn't mean that I didn't read your advice and absorb it. I do think that you are one of the posters genuinely trying to help.I'm REALLY glad you see them that way, because that is truly my intent. As for my problems, yes I am aware of them. Yes I would like to fix them. But just because they look fixable to you, doesn't mean that they are easy to fix for me. I can pinpoint my problems and think that I will act differently from now on, but then when I get overwhelmed by emotions, all the logic flies out of the window.Of course it isn't easy. When a person has lived and reacted a certain way for years, it is obviously going to be difficult to change the behavior. As for the emotions you feel, now that you recognize the moment the problems begin, is there anything you think you can do at that point to change your behavior pattern? Is there anything you can tell youself, like a mantra, that will bring you back down? Perhaps like "This is normal, human behavior. He's on a trip with friends and busy. Let him enjoy himself, and when he comes home, we'll be together again." Of course, this is just an example based on a recent problem you outlined, but if you REALLY try to talk yourself through what you and I both know is the reality it may take hold in you. I'm no counselor, so I can't say, but anything is worth trying, right? You know this guy likes you, and you don't want to sabotage a R before you even know if it's one that will suit you for the long haul. And no, my threads are not attention seeking. I am genuinely going through emotional turmoil and it often feels better to vent.I never would have thought that for a second.
shadowplay Posted September 23, 2010 Posted September 23, 2010 (edited) 99% of my posts are intended to help others, provide some insight, give a point of view I myself deem honest and without judgement. Sometimes it's really, intensely frustrating when you post to someone with a great amount of potential- and you can see the potential, but they don't, and they don't want to listen to you- or anyone else that sees what you do. D, I always appreciate your posts and I've never felt a trace of malice in them. Exasperation, yes, but not malice. As I said, the vast majority of posters are just trying to help, but the few who aren't very quickly make themselves known. I'm sorry if you feel I haven't followed your advice. You'd actually be surprised at how much advice on LS I have followed (to good effect). I rarely post on here about all the positive changes I've made in my life since my ex dumped me, and many of those changes were inspired by advice I got on here. Moving to a new place, meeting new people and making friends, getting my schoolwork in shape, getting a job, seeing a therapist and psychiatrist regularly. All that has happened in the last few months. It seems like dating is the one hold out in my path to self improvement. Also, my self esteem has yet to catch up with my behavior. Edited September 23, 2010 by shadowplay
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