SadandConfusedWA Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Just thought I would give people heads up that this is what I sometimes do. Just in case someone posted a question that I appear to have ignored. I do this because after I post something that I know I will get slammed for, I don't need the stress of reading the responses. Also, if I am very emotional when I post something, I am too embarassed to go back.
gypsy_nicky Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 unlike your friends who listen to emotional banter and give you a good social network for support, people on this forum are not all akin in doing that. Some here will try and impose their personal beliefs etc due to experience but most will give you an objective perspective that will usually be solution based, to overcome your existing worry/problem (although can come across as judgemental). I'm willing to bet if most of your threads were filled with appraisals and agreeable responses you would most likely visit it. There's a problem to this because sometimes we cannot see our own undesirable behavior and rewarding it merely continues the cycle.
Citizen Erased Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I do this at times. Usually just cos I forget what I posted in.
jamesum Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Well, generally women just want to rant rather than having a discussion in the first place. Probably very few women who open threads on this forum actually listen at all to the advices given to them. Most of the times they merely want people to listen to them talking about their feelings.
Kamille Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I do this at times. Usually just cos I forget what I posted in. Ah yeah. I used to have that problem. Now I automatically subscribe to any or all threads I post in. All I have to do is click "My profile" and tahdah! I can follow up on my own threads. The only time I remember abandoning one of my own threads was when I got super involved in someone else's thread and couldn't keep up with the evolution of mine. It does some times bother me when people don't follow up on threads, but I figure that's my problem, not theirs. Surely they know better what they can handle as advice than I do.
Gallaxia Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 In going back we can read other people's points of view. We can learn a lot from each other and ourselves (sometimes quietly) - from different people's points of views and experiences. If considered, it could help one choose what to do and what not to do, and apply it for the better. Although I'm not sure S&CWA will be back around to read this..? j/k
Citizen Erased Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Ah yeah. I used to have that problem. Now I automatically subscribe to any or all threads I post in. All I have to do is click "My profile" and tahdah! I can follow up on my own threads. The only time I remember abandoning one of my own threads was when I got super involved in someone else's thread and couldn't keep up with the evolution of mine. It does some times bother me when people don't follow up on threads, but I figure that's my problem, not theirs. Surely they know better what they can handle as advice than I do. I subscribe too, I just don't check all of them. I have a certain attention span for threads I think. I'll be all into it one day and the next I just skip right over it. I've had a thread of mine taken over by a huge catfight. Now THAT is the way to keep me coming back.
Cee Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Just thought I would give people heads up that this is what I sometimes do. Just in case someone posted a question that I appear to have ignored. I do this because after I post something that I know I will get slammed for, I don't need the stress of reading the responses. Also, if I am very emotional when I post something, I am too embarassed to go back. I appreciate your honesty in your threads, but I think it's okay to hold back sometimes. You don't have to post something that you know you'll get slammed for. I know it sounds like I'm preaching dishonesty, but I think it's important to maintain good internal boundaries so you don't let negativity harm you. Even though this is an anonymous forum and people talk about sensitive things, I am more private here than I am with my friends. I need to protect my feelings & I prefer to talk about topics that aren't emotionally charged. I have asked some questions I'd never ask my friends (eg., female condoms), but it isn't a emotionally painful question. Sometimes I'll write out an honest response about something important to me. Then I erase it and don't post. That's a way to process my feelings, but also a way to preserve my privacy. I feel supported here though. And for the most part have had a positive experience.
Art_Critic Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I always go back to the threads that I post in.. normally it is because I was interested enough in the thread to post in it and I continue to be until the thread gets taken over by the off topic posters or the trolls or sometimes in the political forums the threads get taken over by the agenda posters.. If you use the new posts link at the top of the page then all of the threads you posted in show up with a left crooked arrow over top on the envelope to show you that you posted in it.
BobSacamento Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 In short: "I am wasting everyone's time." Make a mental note people.
jamesum Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 In short: "I am wasting everyone's time." Make a mental note people. Isnt that what Twitter is for?
Art_Critic Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Isnt that what Twitter is for? Re-Tweeted for truth "Isnt that what Twitter is for?"
a_woman Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Just thought I would give people heads up that this is what I sometimes do. Just in case someone posted a question that I appear to have ignored. I do this because after I post something that I know I will get slammed for, I don't need the stress of reading the responses. Also, if I am very emotional when I post something, I am too embarassed to go back. It doesn't matter, trust me most people couldn't care less. The worry is that you feel you need to start a thread about it.
Feelin Frisky Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Just thought I would give people heads up that this is what I sometimes do. Just in case someone posted a question that I appear to have ignored. I do this because after I post something that I know I will get slammed for, I don't need the stress of reading the responses. Also, if I am very emotional when I post something, I am too embarassed to go back. That's Internet Sociology 101. If one feels exposure, don't go back and look for an @ss kicking, it is apt to be there. To give LS its due, I find the LS community to be much more tolerant and forgiving than other forums which have some other social or political or religious theme. On other forums I sometimes feel like I have to end my posts with: ok, now let the crucifixion begin. Social illiterates and territorial one-ups-men never seem to pass up the opportunity to crimp my cyber-spatial hose. It's a matter of survival to just move on and not look for validation--more often it's the opposite (although again, LS has been good to me. Love to all.)
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 It doesn't matter, trust me most people couldn't care less. The worry is that you feel you need to start a thread about it. I don't get that AT ALL.
TaraMaiden Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 By the Way. The OP is as good as their word. Not been back since post #1, I see.......
Star Gazer Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 I don't get that AT ALL. What don't you get? That she'd start a thread about it? She hasn't been back to this one. Hmph.
LisaLee Posted September 21, 2010 Posted September 21, 2010 Does this mean we can talk all the crap we want to about the OP in her own threads and she will never know?
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 What don't you get? That she'd start a thread about it? She hasn't been back to this one. Hmph. I don't get the mentality behind starting a thread about it ... Or posting stuff and not bothering to see responses, either, for that matter.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 22, 2010 Author Posted September 22, 2010 Hey guys I almost didn't come back The main reason that I started this thread is that I got a PM from a certain poster telling that I have repeatedly ignored their questions in some of my threads and how rude that is. I won't name the poster, but that's why I started this thread.
Star Gazer Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 To be honest, SAC, I haven't noticed you wholesale disappearing/avoiding... But what I HAVE observed is what appears to be a conscious decision to ignore posts/advice/comments that contain substance that you don't want to hear or that challenges you to change your way of thinking...particularly when those posts are from women.
D-Lish Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 Far too often, I observe certain posters recieve valuable insight, a healthy consensus, great advice- and they either choose to ignore it, become combative, or simply start another thread in the hopes of gaining the answers they want to hear. Sometimes I see a headline, go to to click on it, then see the poster's name and say to myself "wow- same ****, different day".
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 22, 2010 Author Posted September 22, 2010 To be honest, SAC, I haven't noticed you wholesale disappearing/avoiding... But what I HAVE observed is what appears to be a conscious decision to ignore posts/advice/comments that contain substance that you don't want to hear or that challenges you to change your way of thinking...particularly when those posts are from women. I only ignore posts that I feel have some malice behind them, regardless if they are from men and women. There are few women on here that have a habit of following me around on different threads and putting a negative spin on anything I say. There are also some men of the "bitter nice guy" variety that I completely ignore.
xpaperxcutx Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 I only ignore posts that I feel have some malice behind them, regardless if they are from men and women. There are few women on here that have a habit of following me around on different threads and putting a negative spin on anything I say. There are also some men of the "bitter nice guy" variety that I completely ignore. I thought the reason for posting on forums and LS specifically is to get an objective view on problems... otherwise what's the purpose of posting... ?? As much as you choose to ignore certain posters, you should still find some time to go back to your threads to read new posters that divvy some very good advice.
Star Gazer Posted September 22, 2010 Posted September 22, 2010 Far too often, I observe certain posters recieve valuable insight, a healthy consensus, great advice- and they either choose to ignore it, become combative, or simply start another thread in the hopes of gaining the answers they want to hear. Sometimes I see a headline, go to to click on it, then see the poster's name and say to myself "wow- same ****, different day". Yup. I feel the same way, D.
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