SadandConfusedWA Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 The OKC guy I had two dates with sent me an e-mail today (after 2 days of no contact - I didn't initiate either). The gist of the e-mail is that he thinks I am "pretty amazing" and that "he really likes me" and that "he would like to see where this thing with us goes". I am feeling a bit more confident now. I really felt like he was low interest (because he didn't make out with me yet). Anyway, we are going out tomorrow night and possibly the next day too
Star Gazer Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 WTF? I thought you could care less about this guy, and find him boring and like it's pulling teeth to have a conversation with? And yet, now that he expresses interest you pull a complete 180 and act all ? Are you desperate for a guy to like you? Honestly?
USMCHokie Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Yea...isn't this the "painfully shy" and boring guy...?
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 Yeah but he is really cute and has a hot body and I am physically attracted to him I love it when guys are open about their interest in me and I always said that I will keep seeing him. I am actually pretty picky and tend to over blow the negatives. As I said before, he is the second guy on the list that I am most attracted to out of 17 guys I met online. Despite how I seem on here, I DID reject all the other 14 guys (with 2 rejecting me).
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 BTW in the e-mail he apologized for being so shy and said that he will relax more in time and that he does feel like he can be comfortable with me. But yeah, this is still an area of concern for me - we will see.
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 Yea...isn't this the "painfully shy" and boring guy...? Dating a painfully shy and boring person is always MILES better than dating an over-confident bully. Just sayin'
tigressA Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 I'm happy for you, SAC Much of his shyness very well could be connected to the interest he has in you. I get shy around guys who I'm very interested in. I think things will be much better between you two next time you see each other, since you're confident about each other's interest level.
TaraMaiden Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 WTF? I thought you could care less about this guy, and find him boring and like it's pulling teeth to have a conversation with? Yea...isn't this the "painfully shy" and boring guy...? You guys wouldn't recognise "self-defensive measures" if they bit you on the @ss... Women say things like this to themselves because so many guys nowadays are frankly, flakes, and only interested in chunking the beaver.... And the good guys are worried that their genuine honesty in wishing to develop a relationship further will be seen by disillusioned, jaded and disappointed women, as "How soon can I get my leg over?" Courting is such a complicated affair nowadays.... We throw so much analysis, psychology and Mind-games into the ring, it's little wonder we get soooo many threads headed "Why is she, why did he, what does this mean, how do I respond, why did he say, what do you think, what shall I do, when can I, why should I, When will he, what if she, what's with the....?!??" Hell's teeth it's "Russian Roulette-Chess"....!
Author SadandConfusedWA Posted September 17, 2010 Author Posted September 17, 2010 Tara, EXACTLY! The thing is, if I sense that a guy is about to reject me, I will try to convince myself that it's for the best. I will try and tell others of his negative qualities only (again as a way of convincing myself) so that it won't hurt as much. Doesn't mean it's completely true It's basically big fear of loss and getting hurt. And it's not unrealistic fear either. I have had so many guys tell me that "we will do this", "I will call you", and later they would drop off the face of earth. Also, I think it's healthy for your interest level to increase when the other person expresses that they are interested in you. It is much more troubling when your interest increases when someone rejects you.
Kamille Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 I am actually pretty picky and tend to over blow the negatives. Yes, I definitely agree that you do. And I agree with TaraMaiden and you that it's a defense mechanism. Glad he let you know he's interested and that it took some of the anxiety away!
Star Gazer Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Nope, I'm not buying it as a defense mechanism, sorry. SAC doesn't like this guy's personality...at all. He bores her to tears. The ONLY thing she likes about him is his face and hot body. She's merely excited that a hot guy likes her, because now she feels validated as a woman. Yet again, her priorities are all out of whack. It's getting sadder and sadder to watch.
Ariadne Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 The gist of the e-mail is that he thinks I am "pretty amazing" and that "he really likes me" and that "he would like to see where this thing with us goes". Cool! Always nice to get those emails Have fun tomorrow and give him a chance.. You might like him much more than you think once he opens up to you. Also, the non physical thing may be because he is so afraid to blow this or something like that (and hopefully not that he is kind of gay or weird). Good luck!
Ariadne Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 She's merely excited that a hot guy likes her, because now she feels validated as a woman. Yet again, her priorities are all out of whack. It's getting sadder and sadder to watch. SaC wants to get married to a nice guy and have a family. At least she is dating these guys, not like in an arranged marriage like they still do across the globe. Not sure at this point she is holding up to "true love" although that would be nice and some sort of miracle. I'm sure people also grow to love one another.
CLC2008 Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 I don't see a drastic change of interest on the OP's part, just because of that email.... If anything, her increased interest, seems to be because the guy took the time to tell her that he genuinely likes her and would like to see where things go with each other. It would be different, had her interest increased, if it was based solely on superficial reasons (i.e. he complimented her on her looks, her body, overly flirtatious, etc.). I think that's the key difference here, at least from what I've read thus far.
Star Gazer Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 It would be different, had her interest increased, if it was based solely on superficial reasons (i.e. he complimented her on her looks, her body, overly flirtatious, etc.). Show me where she likes him for NON-superficial reasons. The only thing she likes about this guy is what he looks like.
CLC2008 Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Show me where she likes him for NON-superficial reasons. The only thing she likes about this guy is what he looks like. Well, to be brutually honest, I don't really think that is her main driving force. I sense that the OP, is more concerned, with a man finding HER physically attractive.
donnamaybe Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 I am feeling a bit more confident now. This says it all, I'm afraid. SAC, why is that you need some guy you barely know to give you confidence?
phineas Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Well, to be brutually honest, I don't really think that is her main driving force. I sense that the OP, is more concerned, with a man finding HER physically attractive. The OP has stated she is only attracted to really hot guys a few times before.
Sphere Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Nope, I'm not buying it as a defense mechanism, sorry. SAC doesn't like this guy's personality...at all. He bores her to tears. The ONLY thing she likes about him is his face and hot body. She's merely excited that a hot guy likes her, because now she feels validated as a woman. Yet again, her priorities are all out of whack. It's getting sadder and sadder to watch. You might be right, you might be wrong, but one thing that cannot be disputed is that you sound bitter.
donnamaybe Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 You might be right, you might be wrong, but one thing that cannot be disputed is that you sound bitter.Actually, she sounds spot on. EVERYTHING I have read indicates that SAC's sense of self is based on how she feels men view her. It's sad, too, because at least I view her as a good looking, intelligent gal.
Star Gazer Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Well, to be brutually honest, I don't really think that is her main driving force. I sense that the OP, is more concerned, with a man finding HER physically attractive. I think it's both. SAC has repeatedly said she wants a HOT guy. She wants to be validated based on her looks, by a hot guy telling her he likes her and likes the way she looks. Just as he did here. But I have yet to see her say anything complentary about his personality.
Star Gazer Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 You might be right, you might be wrong, but one thing that cannot be disputed is that you sound bitter. Actually, your opinion IS disputed...and wrong. Not bitter at all...I'm probably one of the happiest people around this place!
CLC2008 Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 I think it's both. SAC has repeatedly said she wants a HOT guy. She wants to be validated based on her looks, by a hot guy telling her he likes her and likes the way she looks. Just as he did here. But I have yet to see her say anything complentary about his personality. Yes, it could very well be both. If he is as shy as she says he is, then it's a bit hard to site things about his personality, complimentary or not.
Sphere Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 Actually, your opinion IS disputed...and wrong. Not bitter at all...I'm probably one of the happiest people around this place! It doesn't sound like it. SaC is dating a guy and she is enjoying herself, so why do you feel the need to go on the offensive? If she is dating him for his body, so what? What business is it of yours? Fair enough if you are going to offer advice, but it seems like all you want to do is undermine her and criticise her at every turn. When your love life is spot on and everything is magical is when you can point the finger, until then either offer advice or go elsewhere. You seem to like criticising everyone, I've read seven or eight of your posts and all you do is attack and try and be offensive.
donnamaybe Posted September 17, 2010 Posted September 17, 2010 It doesn't sound like it. SaC is dating a guy and she is enjoying herself, so why do you feel the need to go on the offensive? If she is dating him for his body, so what? What business is it of yours? Fair enough if you are going to offer advice, but it seems like all you want to do is undermine her and criticise her at every turn. When your love life is spot on and everything is magical is when you can point the finger, until then either offer advice or go elsewhere. You seem to like criticising everyone, I've read seven or eight of your posts and all you do is attack and try and be offensive.Yeah. Better to blow sunshine up peoples' butts. Every single time I have VERY kindly told SAC what a great gal I think she is and that she shouldn't bend herself every which way to try to snag some guy, my posts are COMPLETELY ignored. Hmmm....
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