Will a married man EVER leave his wife?????

[another guest]

"His girlfriend is uneducated, over 250lbs, ugly, with bad credit, and a bitchy personality (I know, I've met her)

Me on the other hand, Have a Big 10 college education, no children, 120 lbs, great looking, and impeccable credit."

 

"I didn't know he had a girlfriend at first. But I don't care. The sex is unmeasurable."

 

How very very sad.

 

Just from the way you talk, I'd much rather be friends with the uneducated, fat girlfriend with the bitchy personality. At least she isn't an insecure wh*re who feels she has to talk herself up and steal another woman's man to make herself feel better.

 

I wasn't aware that an impeccable credit made someone attractive.

 

You might have a Big 10 education (whatever the hell that means), but you don't have class. Then again, it doesn't seem like you have a soul either, so no big loss there for you, eh?

 

The next logical thing to add on your resume: highly-paid professional.

[befuddled11]

Iantheia, in addition to your many self-professed stellar qualities, you forgot to mention one more: comedian.

 

 

 

I'm messing with a guy that lives with his girlfriend and child. Would he leave her for me. Probably yes! Why?

 

His girlfriend is uneducated, over 250lbs, ugly, with bad credit, and a bitchy personality (I know, I've met her)

Me on the other hand, Have a Big 10 college education, no children, 120 lbs, great looking, and impeccable credit.

 

Being with me would be a step up for him.

 

 

1) Are you really all that and a bag of pork rinds? I don't know. I doubt your lover's girlfriend has any kind of gun to his head, forcing him to stay. Don't say he's "only staying because of the child" because if she was as truly as repulsive as you're making her out to be, and she had nothing he found attractive, he simply wouldn't remain with her. Earth to Iantheia LOL

 

2) So this big college education and impeccable credit. Hmmm. Let's see now. According to your profile, you're "unemployed"....too funny!

 

 

My mom always told me, MEN NEVER LEAVE UNLESS THEY HAVE SOMETHING GOOD LINED UP!!

 

Well your guy's not leavin' so what does that really say about you? ;-)

 

But seriously......there's tons of single (uninvolved/unattached) guys out there that can give great sex, so what would make a great catch such as yourself willing to settle for less? Of course you DO know that your dude is (well, despite what he tells you haha) sleeping with and having sex with his girlfriend/mother of his child.........so you don't mind a used d*ck? Yuck, gross. (oh but wait, he likely tells you some BS story about how he and she don't have sex any longer, how he's turned off by her, bla bla....and you're buyin' it up like it's going out of style).

 

So much for that Big 10 college education. You might want to ask for your money back. :-)

[befuddled11]

Originally posted by Iantheia

 

 

 

I didn't know he had a girlfriend at first. But I don't care. The sex is unmeasurable.

 

And my mirror is works just fine!

 

The mirror might be working, but apparently your dictionary isn't. No such word as "unmeasurable." Next time try: IMMEASURABLE. Dang girl, I'm shocked. I'd expect more from such a highly educated individual. ;-)

[jmargel]

Impeccible credit? Hmm.. I declared bankrupcy 2 1/2 years ago due to an ex-fiancee.

 

Funny how that makes me such a loser huh?

 

I mean I have a great family, a loving fiancee, nice house, car and my lovable german shepherd

 

But damn.. I'm nothing now since my credit been shot for a few years.

 

Iantheia, all you are on is an EGO trip. Even if this guy does leave her for you, it won't last. Because the challenge is gone. You don't care for this guy, the only thing you mentioned about him in your post was about the sex. Learn to mature more before getting involved with other people. It'll save you & them alot of heartache and time.

[ofu]

Well, here's my deal. I met a guy through an internet dating service...things were ok, he told me he and his wife were getting a divorce after their house was done (mold problem, long story). So, ok, how long can fixing a house take??? How long can suing the builder and everyone else involved take??? 18 months later, nothing has changed. He's still married and I'm not happy.

 

Get out of it? Yes, I suppose I should. Do I love him? Yes. Am I disappointed in the weakness in myself? Yes.

 

I am 48 years old and have been married 3 times. The last time I was married for 16 years and my ex "just wanted out". So, I pulled myself up by the bootstraps, got the house ready, we sold it and within 3 months we were divorced and I was living by myself for the first time ever. Now, while this divorce thing is going on (an we lived together even after the divorce until I closed on my house, how sick is that?) he is telling me that the divorce was all my fault, no one would ever want me and that I was lousy at being "intimate". So, 5 years later, I'm still believing part of it. I did find out after I moved out that he had been seeing another woman while we were married.

 

For the first year, I didn't date. I figured I needed to get my head on straight and just give myself some time. I dated a guy at work (big mistake) for a while and at my age and with my lifestyle, I decided to try internet dating. Lots of duds but when I met the current guy, I thought my luck had changed.

 

I feel I deserve to be in this mess. I don't have alot going for me and something is better than nothing. I'll probably be in this until he calls it off.

 

Sorry this is so long and perhaps rambling.....

[Cariel]

A married man will leave his wife only if he has more to gain than to lose in leaving her, unless he's so miserable he has to get the hell out or die from the aggravation. In that case, he will probably leave but eventually will blame you for all his problems and find greener pastures elsewhere. Same thing goes for married women. Strange but true.

 

Although there are plenty of women in this world who are sensibly concerned about money, most men are convinced that leaving their wife will be tantamount to a future spent scraping together enough $$ to live in a big cardboard box while the X rolls around on the alimony check with another man in "his" house (even if her parents put up the down-payment and she paid for half of it, LOL!). This isn't nearly as applicable as it was 20 years ago, but the fear seems to continue. If you have a good income he might risk it.

 

Even if a man is willing to risk poverty in divorce, he generally wants to be a hero to his kids (even if they are thrice-divorced themselves). Doesn't matter whether the wife is a saint or a demon, either: he'll be damned either way, as either he didn't appreciate the saint or only a monster would leave such an insecure woman...she loves him so much!

 

There is the "social" factor to consider, too. If the wife is charming/attractive/well-connected/much-loved in their social circle he may fear he'll be the one "dropped" from the group if he divorces...especially if he's the SOB who took off with another woman. Only amongst the highest stratum of society is a trophy wife truly acceptable. The wives of his friends and collegues will object strenuously to such things. Particularly, middle-aged men fear this type of isolation. Young men and old men frequently could care less...in both cases because they really don't care what anyone thinks *G*. Same thing goes for young and old women.

 

In the end, most men (and most women) prefer the devil they know to uncertainty. Human nature, gender conditioning, or what? I find that on the whole women are more pro-active in making changes and "rolling with the punches" life deals all of us...I have many friends of both sexes and generally the men are the ones who hesitate in rocking any boat at all.

 

My remarks aren't based much on personal experience, but rather on having hung on tightly enough to emotionally-blasted friends to keep them from sinking completely. Frankly, I'm getting a little old for all this and would like a bit more insight than the fractured bits I've got from them.

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to hear your thoughts.

[Skittles]

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd like to hear your thoughts.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

cariel, you hit the nail on the head............end of story.

[annesummers]

I have recently seperated from my H.I have 2 small kids.Wish there was an answer for 'will a mm ever leave his wife' .I have been having an affair with a mm for 10 months now.He says he cannot leave her as he is affriad she will stop him seeing his son.I know he does love me and is not in love with her.Its the same ol story!!We have often tried to end our relationship but we are truelly in love.I truelly believe that i have found my man......but also believe in my heart thatthe only way to see if he really does love me is to let him go.It will honestly kill me inside and could not imagine my life without him.She knows me well and has always been suspicious but ofcourse as any married man would do.....he has professed his innocence and she believes him but does not trust him.I guess its the fear of being alone.I know what an awful feeling it is finding out your partner has had an affair..my H had 3 affairs and it devastated me.I really and truelly feel guilty and sick that i would be breaking up a marrige BUT i truelly love this man.Their marriage is extremely rocky and the argue alot.It never meant to happen and I truelly mean that.Do i let him go ?He says if i go he will come and find me or isthat what they all say?

[Skittles]

Do i let him go ?He says if i go he will come and find me or isthat what they all say?

 

 

 

 

 

 

hi anne.

 

I am adding my 2 cents and saying that you may want to let him to go to see where he stands. He will not divorce her while you are making nice with him.

I know you love him, but he needs to do something about his marriage, or lack of one, otherwise you will be at this site forever asking..will he ever leave his wife?

[Fofinha]

I once dated a married man (with two children). He was fun and the relationship was wild and crazy. He kept saying that he was going to leave his wife, although I never really believed him. I was happy with the relationship as it was because I was also free to see other people (so I never put ANY pressure on him to end it with his wife, EVER).

A few months later, he actually DID leave his wife. We continued to see each other although I had never really been in love with him (on my end, it was purely physical).

A few weeks later I moved on. Looking back, if I had wanted a longer relationship (or a more serious one) it would of been possible, especially since his promises of leaving her did turn out to be true. I don't know how long OUR relationship would of lasted but, he did leave her in the end.

[TigerEyes]

Originally posted by SoleMate

Not only are these MM/OW posts repetitive as to situation, even the language that is used is cliche-riddled.

 

* We are soulmates

 

* He loves his wife but is not in love with her

 

* Our relationship is incredibly special

 

* Neither of us was looking for this; it just happened

 

* Our feelings are too strong for us

 

 

 

cheaters....women/men who are out there destroying marriages, coming between this sacred bond are shameful, and selfish....

 

...and for some reason must never ask themselves the age old question...."How would I feel if this were being done to me?"

 

Sorry....but cheaters disgust me. They are cowards.

[lisapisa]

Prepare for some hard facts. First, it is cowardly to have to "find" someone else before you can leave your "bad" marriage. Be an adult and fix the marriage or leave. Don't ruin some other woman's life because you are too weak to take charge of your own. Secondly, his wife probably is more unhappy with him then he is with her. After all, he's cheating on her while she's home doing the laundry. She knows something is wrong because she's not getting his full attention no matter how clever he is. Thirdly, married men rarely leave their wives for woman who will cheat on their husbands. Men may be cheats, but they ain't as gullible as most women are! You are not trustworthy and no matter how good you are in that hotel room, it's not a good risk for any intelligent man (maybe he's not too intelligent?)

[me2]

I was in a relationship with a guy who told me straight out, even showing me

false divorce papers, that he was in the process of divorce. When it didn't progress

I broke it off, and he still didn't leave her. In fact, they reconciled but he failed to mention this.

 

I started dating, and met a couple guys. One was awesome, but I was curious what MM was doing

and gave him another try. He mentioned that he was now buying a property and did I know

of any furniture stores.

 

Needless to say, we resumed our relationship. 4 months later I decided to check out the

story cause things didn't feel right. I called his wife and asked her. I told her that her

husband was pursing me and that I had had a relationship with him for over a year and that

I was sleeping with him. I asked her if she was sleeping with him. She said yes.

 

I almost ran off the road (I was on my cell)

 

2 weeks later found out I was pregant. Fast forward to today. Our boy is 11 months old

and he is still living with his wife. She has filed for a divorce to protect her $. He has not hired

an attorney but she has. He wants to live with me, but has to live with her too to help her with

the kids and her school schedule.

 

Moral of the story. They don't leave their wife if there is too much to loose. Then again you woudn't want

them anyway so it is Gods way of cutting you the best deal.

[Nellie62]

I have concerns about this subject because I too am involved with a married man. The situation is a little different, in that, he and I knew each other in high school, dated briefly....Now, 27 years later we connected through a well known website for "classmates". It began very innocently, but over the last few months has evolved into a much more intimate relationship. Add to that the fact that we live 450 miles apart...He was telling me how miserable he is, etc...Unfortunately, I have fallen in love with him. We have seen each other and yes we had a sexual encounter. His wife found out about us...She emailed me and really put him down, telling me what a lying, cheating drunk he has been throughout their marriage, but then went on to tell me they had a very loving marriage until I came into the picture. He is very confused because he has a 9 year old son, and says she has said she WON'T give him a divorce....We still communicate through emails, but I don't know what I should do...This guy has really thrown me for a loop. By the way, I'm 42, divorced (have been for 8 years)...Not easily fooled or manipulated by men. Don't know what to do!!!!

[cindy hess]

Originally posted by Skittles

cdn may be on to something here. I know someone who snagged anothers' wayward husband and is now married to him...not very happily though, but that is another story.

 

Anyway this woman got her mm boyfriend so hot and bothered, she was his work-out trainer, and brought him to the boiling point...lots of hot foreplay, no full-blown sex, then dropped the ulitmatim...He went for it.

 

Since he was half-way out of his marriage anyway this pushed him over the edge and this guy had 3 young children at the time..

Now the new wife, ex ow and he have 5 kids between them.

 

I don't recommend this tactic or any that is going to wreck peoples' lives, but in general I think men do not leave their wives for the ow...because the ow is the answer to his marital unhappiness...SHe is the sex therapist...keeping the marriage together.

 

I don't think this is a good career to have...

[sspsboo]

Originally posted by TigerEyes

cheaters....women/men who are out there destroying marriages, coming between this sacred bond are shameful, and selfish....

 

...and for some reason must never ask themselves the age old question...."How would I feel if this were being done to me?"

 

Sorry....but cheaters disgust me. They are cowards.

 

 

One some o/w did not know the guy was married. Maybe they the ow feel in love before she found out he was married. Maybe you should blame the mm more than the ow. I have asked myself that question a thousand times but some people change and maybe if they cheat once they want do it again. Anything is possible it may be slim but it is stil possible.

[darrylsucks]

I know from my experience they never leave no matter how much they tell you you are their dream girl, princess, love of their life, always wanted you since HS, blah blah...

Most MM are lonely and need attention and get it from the OW.

They never tell you this of course, make you feel like your the only one.

I will never go back to him in a million years if he got a divorce.

I would leave him on the curb and let the vultures eat him, like he left me when his wife found out.

[maria72]

Yes, some married men divorce their wives and marry their OW...I've know this to happen a few times.

[Lexi]

You need to take a good look at your situation. You just wanted something not serious and now you hurt yourself and will hurt your husband.

 

Why stay a longer with your husband if you plan to leave him? Why not do the correct thing be honest with yourself and get out now and forget about this realtionship.

 

You need to be a single girl who can roam around till she is ready for a serious relationship. If you do not you will get burned and will hurt yourself emotionally as well as others.

 

I hope you realize that the thruth is you were not ready for marriage and now you are caught in your own deciet and it only will get worse before it gets better. Go on and do the right thing, have some self respect.

 

Lexi

[saleslady898]

I think that if he says that he still loves his wife, it is a lost cause. I work with a man that is married. I know that he loves me. I can see it when he looks at me, and how he treats me. He is married with 2 kids. He never, ever says I love you to his wife when she calls him at work or on his cell phone. He is reasonablly attractive and she is short, fat and has buck teeth. I dont think that they have any passion in their marriage. He has never made a pass at me, nor me at him. I am not sure that he knows our feelings are mutual, but cannot be sure. He knows that I dont date married men but yet we definately have strong feelings for each other. How can I find out how open he is to leaving his wife if I told him how I felt?

[netrie]

Originally posted by CanadianGirl

I am married and having an affair with a married man for quite a few months now. I started the affair because I am looking for a relationship not marriage.

I am no longer 'in love' with my H and am planning on divorce in the near future.

I fortunately/unfortunately have fallen in love with MM.

Can a married man ever have a change in heart and mind? He told me he loves his wife but is not in love with her.

 

 

GET SOME THERAPY QUICKLY... I do not see that you are on a healthy path at all and it sounds self-destructive. Stop everything and get some professional help to find out why you are doing this to yourself----unhappy marriage; involvement with a married man? NOT GOOD for you.

 

Good luck,

Netalia

[Complicated]

My situation is very similar. I work with a MM too and my feelings for him grow everyday. I have worked with him for three years and our friendship gets stronger. I can look into his eyes and know there is something there for me. I have never pursued my feelings for him and vise versa. I truly believe he has feelings for me but I still am not sure.

 

I go to work everyday and work so hard to keep my feelings at bay for fear that it will hurt our friendship. He rarely talks abou this wife and when he does it is usually negative but sometimes positive. He has three children which he adores.

 

He compliments me and is always curious about my well being as I am for him. I am sure you know what I mean.

 

I ask the same questions to whether things would change if the truth was out in the open. Should I risk the friendship? Would he leave his wife, or would I be heartbroken? Questions I wish I had answers to.

 

You are the first I have met that is in the same situation where the other party isn't aware of your feelings and sexual encounters while married are out of the question. Please stay in touch. I would love to hear how your situation is going.

[saleslady898]

Originally posted by Complicated

My situation is very similar. I work with a MM too and my feelings for him grow everyday. I have worked with him for three years and our friendship gets stronger. I can look into his eyes and know there is something there for me. I have never pursued my feelings for him and vise versa. I truly believe he has feelings for me but I still am not sure.

 

I go to work everyday and work so hard to keep my feelings at bay for fear that it will hurt our friendship. He rarely talks abou this wife and when he does it is usually negative but sometimes positive. He has three children which he adores.

 

He compliments me and is always curious about my well being as I am for him. I am sure you know what I mean.

 

I ask the same questions to whether things would change if the truth was out in the open. Should I risk the friendship? Would he leave his wife, or would I be heartbroken? Questions I wish I had answers to.

 

You are the first I have met that is in the same situation where the other party isn't aware of your feelings and sexual encounters while married are out of the question. Please stay in touch. I would love to hear how your situation is going.

[saleslady898]

Complicated.

[Breathe]

Yeah, when she finally kicks his sorry ass to the curb!