Author phineas Posted August 30, 2010 Author Posted August 30, 2010 This is obviously bad but you have a couple relationships going. The fact you failed this **** test could be the reason. Seriously just google "**** test" you'll see my solution+other methods (I think there are 2-3 more ways to pass them) in there. Keep in mind they are directed at confident, attractive women rated at 7 or above. Pickup lingo/bs does not work on low self esteem girls (as well) or on girls rated 6 or below.... Hmm, it looks like both have been testing me. The first one has been doing it for a long time because she's gone for the jugular a few times. (balding head & grey hair.) I tell her my friends have a pool going to see if it will turn grey before it all falls out & ask her if she wants in. And she has told me i'm an ass mulitple times. I tell her It's part of my charm & put on a sheet eating grin & carry on. But that's just how I am. I think knowing she may be interested is making me too conservative & holding my tounge?
a_woman Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 Hmm, it looks like both have been testing me. The first one has been doing it for a long time because she's gone for the jugular a few times. (balding head & grey hair.) I tell her my friends have a pool going to see if it will turn grey before it all falls out & ask her if she wants in. And she has told me i'm an ass mulitple times. I tell her It's part of my charm & put on a sheet eating grin & carry on. oh. why are you interested in someone that lashes out at you? I had a boyfriend once who did this and I dumped him. I don't see why you should take sh^t from anyone, especially early on - it's more likely to get worse later
Author phineas Posted August 30, 2010 Author Posted August 30, 2010 oh. why are you interested in someone that lashes out at you? I had a boyfriend once who did this and I dumped him. I don't see why you should take sh^t from anyone, especially early on - it's more likely to get worse later Nah, she isn't lashing out. She is being a smart ass & busting my chops. See, it doesn't bother me at all so it's funny to me. She is the only woman i've met than can challange me in that reguard. So I do enjoy her company. Then she started on the whole negative self image thing which is a real turn off. I'm starting to think she doesn't think she is good enough for me as crazy as that sounds.
a_woman Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 I'm starting to think she doesn't think she is good enough for me as crazy as that sounds. she will change her mind when she gets to know you better
Author phineas Posted August 30, 2010 Author Posted August 30, 2010 she will change her mind when she gets to know you better Oh, she's seen me & my house at it's worst. She came over after that. Since then i've kept the toilet shaved & the sink empty of dirty dishes.
Author phineas Posted August 30, 2010 Author Posted August 30, 2010 Most women are just fishing for compliments.. Of course they are. And I hardly give them when refering to their appearance. I always give them when refering to them & their personal accomplishments.
SteveC80 Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 Of course they are. And I hardly give them when refering to their appearance. I always give them when refering to them & their personal accomplishments. Yup..Most good looking women know they are good looking..I dont buy all these women think theyre ugly. If a women in this country is skinny and halfway decnet looking she thinks shes a godess because of getitng hit on numerous times by hungry dudes. Dont infltae these womens egos more then they already are
dispatch3d Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 Hmm, it looks like both have been testing me. The first one has been doing it for a long time because she's gone for the jugular a few times. (balding head & grey hair.) I tell her my friends have a pool going to see if it will turn grey before it all falls out & ask her if she wants in. And she has told me i'm an ass mulitple times. I tell her It's part of my charm & put on a sheet eating grin & carry on. But that's just how I am. I think knowing she may be interested is making me too conservative & holding my tounge? This is to be expected. Women will ****-test you to see if you are worthy. The balding and grey hair comment: "Most women really like my eyes. Just look at those" - or some other good quality of yours. I don't like the "if she wants in" part. Why is this necessary? Unless its like, "Me and my friends are having a good looking contest. Want in? Don't be so sure you are going to win!" her "Your an ass" you "Thanks" you "I like you to" you "Your coming on too strong, tone it down" etc. this is not lashing out. This is normal behaviour.
dispatch3d Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 I agree with your other assessment. The other time I had this happen to me I think the girl was going LSE (low self esteem) on me. I think generally you need to pump her esteem back up. I mean if she's feeling really self-conscious she isn't going to want to do anything per-say. You are giving her no-feelings and she's going to get out of there. No fault of your own (it's her own LSE coming through). The way girls handle it is they pump each other up with compliments. This has obvious problems. Mainly they probably already BELIEVE they are too x or their body is bad so they won't believe the compliment (we have obvious ulterior motives). I have read treating them like **** works (I don't want to do this). Another possibility is to get her to talk about times she definitely was pretty, etc. Hopefully she relives the experience and regains her SE. You are right though. It's because she feels she isn't good enough for you. Do you read game? It's probably a lack of qualification.
Gattica Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 The last guy I was seeing, before we saw each other naked, would always say how thin I was. I am not thin, I am average and I look completely different naked than I do in clothes, of course. My point being, I dress to emphasis the good and hide the not so good. I typically just thanked him because he liked to mention me being thin quite a bit. I finally said to him that what you see isn't a fair representation of what it looks like underneath! I just couldn't take it anymore knowing exactly what I look like nude. Needless to say, when he did see me naked he said that I was beautiful, so on and so forth. Well, that was the last time I saw him! We fooled around, but didn't have sex because he had not yet been tested. LOL So, I must say that I have a bit of a complex now. I wasn't trying to show my insecurities to him, but I didn't want him to think I was lying to him about my body. In response to the OP...I would like if a guy would just say, if true, you may not think that part of you is attractive, but I do.
Author phineas Posted August 30, 2010 Author Posted August 30, 2010 I agree with your other assessment. The other time I had this happen to me I think the girl was going LSE (low self esteem) on me. I think generally you need to pump her esteem back up. I mean if she's feeling really self-conscious she isn't going to want to do anything per-say. You are giving her no-feelings and she's going to get out of there. No fault of your own (it's her own LSE coming through). The way girls handle it is they pump each other up with compliments. This has obvious problems. Mainly they probably already BELIEVE they are too x or their body is bad so they won't believe the compliment (we have obvious ulterior motives). I have read treating them like **** works (I don't want to do this). Another possibility is to get her to talk about times she definitely was pretty, etc. Hopefully she relives the experience and regains her SE. You are right though. It's because she feels she isn't good enough for you. Do you read game? It's probably a lack of qualification. The problem is this woman is HOT. I took her to a wedding & people were like "allright, good for you" LOL!. She has a pretty face, an ass that stops traffic, no belly. Every time we go somewhere dudes are looking. She gets hit on constantly & dudes stare at her all the time & she just gets annoyed because she is "too old to be eye candy" & she means it. Changing the subject or not saying anything isn't working. I guess I can just step it up & compliment her. Try being more flirty. IDK. I'm about ready to launch this chick. I get the feeling she is avoiding being with me because she thinks i'll run if I see her naked.
dispatch3d Posted August 30, 2010 Posted August 30, 2010 The last guy I was seeing, before we saw each other naked, would always say how thin I was. I am not thin, I am average and I look completely different naked than I do in clothes, of course. My point being, I dress to emphasis the good and hide the not so good. I typically just thanked him because he liked to mention me being thin quite a bit. I finally said to him that what you see isn't a fair representation of what it looks like underneath! I just couldn't take it anymore knowing exactly what I look like nude. Needless to say, when he did see me naked he said that I was beautiful, so on and so forth. Well, that was the last time I saw him! We fooled around, but didn't have sex because he had not yet been tested. LOL So, I must say that I have a bit of a complex now. I wasn't trying to show my insecurities to him, but I didn't want him to think I was lying to him about my body. In response to the OP...I would like if a guy would just say, if true, you may not think that part of you is attractive, but I do. What do you mean by "lying to him about my body"? Can you expand on this if possible? What is your true purpose of these comments?
Gattica Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 What do you mean by "lying to him about my body"? Can you expand on this if possible? What is your true purpose of these comments? I didn't phrase that correctly. I wasn't lying about my body...meaning, that I may look thin in my clothes...but it doesn't necessarily translate when clothes are off. I felt like this man had so built up in his mind what I was going to look like nude, that I felt the need to tell him that I am not thin, like he assumes I am. The purpose of the comments is to explain why women, or just me, may land up saying some negative things about their bodies before the person they are dating sees them naked. Don't know if you are understanding my point. I had a hell of a day and my mind is foggy and am I not expressing myself very well!
dispatch3d Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 I didn't phrase that correctly. I wasn't lying about my body...meaning, that I may look thin in my clothes...but it doesn't necessarily translate when clothes are off. I felt like this man had so built up in his mind what I was going to look like nude, that I felt the need to tell him that I am not thin, like he assumes I am. The purpose of the comments is to explain why women, or just me, may land up saying some negative things about their bodies before the person they are dating sees them naked. Don't know if you are understanding my point. I had a hell of a day and my mind is foggy and am I not expressing myself very well! What gave you the impression that he "so built up in his mind what I was going to look like nude"? Do you feel like the fact you look much better dressed up than not dressed up will show when you are naked? What are your reactions to these comments in response? "You're just really silly some times, you know that?" "Haha crazy talk. It is kinda fun isn't it?" "WHAT?! Well I'm confused. That's okay I like you anyways." There is no need for a point. Don't worry about that .
alphamale Posted August 31, 2010 Posted August 31, 2010 How do you deal with women like this? you walk away from them
Author phineas Posted September 3, 2010 Author Posted September 3, 2010 yes that's best. I usually focus on things that's their strength An update. I kicked up the compliments. That turned into flirty talking & her dressing in really short shorts & a shirt that shows off her mid-section when she moves around & her asking if I minded she dressed that way & me telling her I prefer it. The flirty & somewhat dirty talk has escalated. Mostly by her. I'm keeping up & starting to take it a little further & she's biteing. As of late last night's phone convo: Next week i'm giving her a massage & she told me to have sweet dreams thinking of her toned legs behind her head. (she was telling me she used to be gymnest & how her legs arn't as toned as they used to be & I made sure to tell her how nice I thought they were) I actually now believe this woman didn't think I was sexually attracted to her because I was complimenting her on the person she was not that she was hot because I thought that was obvious & would make it look like all I wanted was sex. Well, i'm pretty sure i'm not the only one looking to get laid. I have a feeling things are going to start heating up shortly.
Ruby Slippers Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 The last guy I dated for a while made numerous comments suggesting he didn't think he was cute enough for me, or he had some shortcoming that I was sure to notice, that I could find a hotter guy and might someday. I thought he was sexy and cute as could be and never thought any of the things he was suggesting. I reassured him, but for someone with a very negative self-image, there's only so much you can do. Sounds like the woman you described above is used to being objectified and likes it that way.
Author phineas Posted September 3, 2010 Author Posted September 3, 2010 Sounds like the woman you described above is used to being objectified and likes it that way. I don't know for sure because i've known her for a little bit & she didn't start dressing like that until my divorce started moving through the courts now that I think about it. I think it really has a lot to do with the fact her last ex was supposed to move in with her & last minute he dumped her & moved in with someone older & less attractive right away. Someone he'd been cheating on her with all along.
atlnay Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 Op, something to consider, if it hasnt already been mentioned...too tired to read entire thread right now...men & women have difft communication styles. She may just be talking, not wanting a fix or solution etc and menn tend to listen for the problem to fix and since she's not fixing her weight issue problem, you take it as her complaining or whatever. You can try just listening & detect if she's stuck and wanting a solution or just letting out thoughts in her head. Asking a few probing questions about what she is feeling may better help you detct where she is coming from.
reservoirdog1 Posted September 3, 2010 Posted September 3, 2010 Something about both of the women I'm "dateing". One is small framed, toned & in shape, very attractive, small boobs as most women with her body type have. Since she said she wanted to date me she started all of a sudden avoiding me but kept calling to talk. I assumed she back-burnered me but now i'm not so sure. When we have talked the last 3 days she has worked her boobs into the conversation telling me she's flat chested, she breast fed two kids & her boobs have suffered for it, last night she tried to describe their shape to me & how they have sagged & not sticking out like they used to. We went to a wedding & she looked amazing but then said she doesn't really have to boobs for the dress. I tell her I get it, I was married to a woman who breast fed two kids. I know what happens. Then she was asking me about my ex-wifes boobs & what they looked like after breast feeding. errrr.... I really have no idea how to respond to that. My first instinct is to jokeingly call her a tease for talking about her boobs & not showing me then telling her she should send me a picture so I can give her my honest opinion. because that whole poor self-image on hot women is very unatractive & i'm now wondering if she's so scared about them that she is avoiding any situation where she'll have to show them to me. The other woman beutiful also has a few lbs on her & pointed out she has a bigger roll than me when we were sitting down while we were out. How i'm in better shape than her (i'm still 15 -20lbs away from a 6 pack I think) She honestly looks great to me & again I don't know what to say here. Every time I've told woman how attractive I found her BEFORE sex they would think all I wanted was just sex from them or they would get a swelled head & think they could get away with poor behavior because I "wanted them" How do you deal with women like this? These are women 37-38 age range. Want to know the absolute best thing I've ever come up with to say to a GF who's being critical of her own appearance? "Actually, the only thing I don't like about your appearance is your insistence on wearing clothes." (pause) "I mean... what's with THAT?" It sets her up for an OMG-he's-going-to-criticize-me moment from her, but then turns into a pretty huge compliment. TOTALLY lightens the mood and gets her laughing. Give it a try sometime.
Ruby Slippers Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 I don't know for sure because i've known her for a little bit & she didn't start dressing like that until my divorce started moving through the courts now that I think about it. I think it really has a lot to do with the fact her last ex was supposed to move in with her & last minute he dumped her & moved in with someone older & less attractive right away. Someone he'd been cheating on her with all along. Be careful. Sounds like her self-esteem is very low. These kinds of people are needy and emotionally unstable. I know, because I used to be one of them! Now I'm recovering -- maturing into my own healthy self-esteem, and I see why this is so important to healthy relationships. Healthy self-esteem = the ability to stand on your own two feet. And that's an important quality that quickly cuts out a ton of the neediness, blame, and irrational behavior that can plague relationships. Ah, but you haven't even had sex yet. Don't let me rain all over the party.
threebyfate Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 Sounds like they're looking for reassurance of attractiveness from you. In denigrating their body parts, they're letting you know that this is an aspect they're selfconscious about but at the same time, if you dare criticize them for it, they'll rip out your throat. Stupid. I do wonder if the first woman is just a really, really bad flirt, where she's bringing up her breasts to add some sexual overtones to your conversation.
SteveC80 Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 (edited) 99.9% of women are self conscious,thast why they love confidence in a Man becasue they lack it in themselves Edited September 4, 2010 by SteveC80
threebyfate Posted September 4, 2010 Posted September 4, 2010 I'll openly admit I can't stand the false modesty thing that women are more prone to doing which is used to solicit compliments. It's annoying as hell since it's so transparent. As far as loving confidence in a man because they don't have it, I disagree. Confidence is hawtness to most people.
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