Citizen Erased Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 Lap dance = total disrespect and I would leave him. Yep. I don't want anybody but me grinding on my fiance, I don't think that's unnatural or unreasonable. And he can buy me something nice with that money. Going to a strip club for a bit of a laugh, I mean it's not how I'd rather he spends his time but it's not the end of the world. In fact, I'd be more than likely by his side anyway. Those chicks are so intrigued when there's a female in there. It's interesting going to the female bathrooms in the place...I saw a lot more in there than I think the guys see outside of it.
O'Malley Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 Occasional bachelor party or stag: no problem if it's window shopping and he's not a stripper groupie. Sorry, no lap dances, private booths, squirrel dives, or anything of that ilk -- way too much intimacy, even though it's a well heeled role play on the part of the performer. I'm friends with a retired feature dancer, so I've heard all the pathetic and creepy stories about customers. Neither one of us is interested in receiving rubdowns from nude total strangers, and my boyfriend prefers to spend his free time playing music or going to shows, so it's never been an issue. What other couples decide are reasonable boundaries is their own business.
meerkat stew Posted August 27, 2010 Posted August 27, 2010 Certainly hope the women who object to this would not get bent out of shape if their SO didn't want them going to clubs on girls night and dancing with other men, because going to a strip club is -much- more innocuous than flirting, drinking and dancing with strangers in a club.
Stung Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Certainly hope the women who object to this would not get bent out of shape if their SO didn't want them going to clubs on girls night and dancing with other men, because going to a strip club is -much- more innocuous than flirting, drinking and dancing with strangers in a club. I already stated in my previous posts that my husband and I are on the same page with this kind of thing, bringing up your exact scenario. However, I don't agree that a night in a strip club is 'much more innocuous'. It's simply both different and the same, and something that partners need to make sure they're in agreement on before a relationship gets too serious.
Minnie09 Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Certainly hope the women who object to this would not get bent out of shape if their SO didn't want them going to clubs on girls night and dancing with other men, because going to a strip club is -much- more innocuous than flirting, drinking and dancing with strangers in a club. Paying to have naked women rub their private parts on you is more innocuous than going out to dance? I'm not saying that girls in committed relationships never go out and flirt, but that's a lot less intentional than deciding to hit a stripper joint and spend money on naked bodies and/or dry sex.
AverageJoe Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 I recently had a buddy get married. So the guys thought we will take him to a strip club, throw him some beers and make fun of him on stage. All in good fun. One of our friends didnt go. I found out later it was because his wife said to him; if you go to that bachelor party at a strip club I will file a divorce. He didnt show. I was shocked to hear this later. I could not believe what I just heard, was it true? Indeed it was. I felt so bad for him, and at the same time I got somewhat upset over that. But I had to step back and think, if that is what makes him happy, so be it. I myself, knew that it did not make him happy. Just thinking about that now gets me riled up. This is what you call a doormat.
abouttoloseit Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Speaking of strip clubs, I was at one tonight for my friends birthday. I had a dance. She was called Stacey. It was great! But Im single, I doubt I would feel the need to go to a strip club if I had a lady...
Citizen Erased Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 Certainly hope the women who object to this would not get bent out of shape if their SO didn't want them going to clubs on girls night and dancing with other men, because going to a strip club is -much- more innocuous than flirting, drinking and dancing with strangers in a club. I have no need to go out dancing with people other than my SO, especially with strange men.
allina Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 I would be hurt and confused if my SO had some major desire to go to strip clubs or if he was going often. However, if all his friends are going for a bachelor party or a night out in Vegas I'm totally fine with it.
meerkat stew Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 However, I don't agree that a night in a strip club is 'much more innocuous'. Paying to have naked women rub their private parts on you is more innocuous than going out to dance? Agree with Stung that it's something that needs to be discussed and decided between the couple in question. But if you can't see how paid strippers who move from table to table in a cheesy strip club are less disrespectful of a relationship than allowing men who are out specifically looking to get laid to flirt with you, buy you drinks and dance with you in a real club, that blows my mind. The thing lots of women tend to forget about men is that we don't go to strip bars looking to get laid, in fact may use the strip club to sublimate the urge to go looking for a real woman in a real bar or club who can be picked up there and then. You're generally much better off with your man in a strip bar than out in a normal bar if you think about it for a second.
threebyfate Posted August 28, 2010 Posted August 28, 2010 I don't care if my husband goes, as long as it's not habitual or alone, especially since I know his distaste for them. Over the years, he's gone to them with friends but it's not his choice for going for drinks with guys. More a pub, sports bar or lounge guy.
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