shadowplay Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 (edited) I'm terrified. Literally within a minute, I already have a few messages. I'm scared. I'm just sure that I must look better in photos than in real life (given how rarely I get attention irl), and I'll be a disappointment to any guy who meets me in person. I don't know if I have the guts to meet a guy in person. Eeek. Edited August 7, 2010 by shadowplay
Sabali Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 What about that guy at your job. He seems to be quite fond of you.
Author shadowplay Posted August 7, 2010 Author Posted August 7, 2010 What about that guy at your job. He seems to be quite fond of you. Lol. -------
allina Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Well that's why you're there, to get replies so this is good
Hot Carl Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 From the pictures I've seen, I have absolutely doubt you'll get a lot of responses. I remember being very impressed.
allina Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 From the pictures I've seen, I have absolutely doubt you'll get a lot of responses. Did you mean to put a "no" in there? :laugh:
Hot Carl Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Did you mean to put a "no" in there? :laugh: I hate when that happens.
gungho Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I think it'll be easier for a female to get responses then for a guy. I just joined the site yesterday afternoon and I've not had any messages although I've left a few. I don't think I uploaded a good enough picture. Or maybe I'm just not waiting long enough?
Author shadowplay Posted August 7, 2010 Author Posted August 7, 2010 I think it'll be easier for a female to get responses then for a guy. I just joined the site yesterday afternoon and I've not had any messages although I've left a few. I don't think I uploaded a good enough picture. Or maybe I'm just not waiting long enough? definitely easier for a girl.
lso802 Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 ^^ Girls usually get tons of msgs. When I was sitting next to a female friend at our school computer lab, she just deleted all the messages except for the ones sent the day she was checking. There was still a lot for her to sift through.
Kamille Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Nothing to be afraid of! You're on a dating website to meet interesting people, not to win a beauty contest. Dates are about letting your personality shine. I'm just sure that I must look better in photos than in real life (given how rarely I get attention irl) I don't buy that. First of all, I think people would approach you but you probably give off a "don't approach me" vibe. come to think of it, you never did answer all those questions I asked in your other thread about wheter or not you thought you were approachable when out in public. Do you think you're approachable when out in public? When you meet new people, are you flirtatious? Do you think you give off a good positive vibe that will make people want to strike a conversation with you? When in a bar, do you enjoy yourself or at least look like you're enjoying yourself?
jamesum Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I think it'll be easier for a female to get responses then for a guy. I just joined the site yesterday afternoon and I've not had any messages although I've left a few. I don't think I uploaded a good enough picture. Or maybe I'm just not waiting long enough? No kidding. I have had an OK Cupid profile for almost 2 years. So far I have only ever had ONE message. :laugh: I'm just sure that I must look better in photos than in real life (given how rarely I get attention irl), and I'll be a disappointment to any guy who meets me in person. I don't know if I have the guts to meet a guy in person. Eeek. If you put 'honest' pictures of yourself, then you shouldnt worry.
Star Gazer Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 I don't buy that. First of all, I think people would approach you but you probably give off a "don't approach me" vibe. Shadow, I reeeeeeeeeeally think this is it.
Green Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Can you pm me a link to the pictures. Oh and stop being so down on yourself girls always get a lot of mesages on the internet as long as they arn't fat/old/disfigured
jadedone Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Can you pm me a link to the pictures. Oh and stop being so down on yourself girls always get a lot of mesages on the internet as long as they arn't fat/old/disfigured Even those get more messages than the average guy. I joined PoF 2 weeks ago. Only 3 women have messaged me, 2 of those I deleted and never replied, the third one I traded a few emails with and got her phone number today. Although I did have her saved as a favorite with the intention of writing her first, but I guess she couldn't wait. In contrast I initiated messges to 2 women. One never replied, the other did, but she has turned out to be pretty boring.
Green Posted August 7, 2010 Posted August 7, 2010 Even those get more messages than the average guy. I joined PoF 2 weeks ago. Only 3 women have messaged me, 2 of those I deleted and never replied, the third one I traded a few emails with and got her phone number today. Although I did have her saved as a favorite with the intention of writing her first, but I guess she couldn't wait. In contrast I initiated messges to 2 women. One never replied, the other did, but she has turned out to be pretty boring. MEN SHOULD NOT JOIN DATING SITES. They turn the tables and give women their power to accept and reject at its greatest. You get better women and much easier by just going out into the real world.
jadedone Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 MEN SHOULD NOT JOIN DATING SITES. They turn the tables and give women their power to accept and reject at its greatest. You get better women and much easier by just going out into the real world. Yeah I hear you. I've met many in the past that go into options overload and just can't stick with a choice. Dating sites are just one tool I use.
zengirl Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I think it'll be easier for a female to get responses then for a guy. I just joined the site yesterday afternoon and I've not had any messages although I've left a few. I don't think I uploaded a good enough picture. Or maybe I'm just not waiting long enough? Men have to send loads of messages. Women have to sift through them. Really, I like sending messages, and most of the best fellows I've met online are fellows I messaged first. But they always said their inboxes had tumbleweeds in them, whereas mine is always a cluttered minefield. (Really, a good amount of them are creepy or useless.)
gungho Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Well I've sent out three different messages so far. One has replied. As far as joining dating sites, like the above poster said, it's just one tool, one way to possibly meet new women. I live in a small area and there's just not that many places to meet new women. Honestly, I'm not that interested in dating anyone I went to high school with and that's who I am most likely to run into at the local super market. I went to the towns library during their "book club" night, and it was about 8-10 45-60 year old women. So that was a bust.
Author shadowplay Posted August 8, 2010 Author Posted August 8, 2010 Thanks for the responses, peeps. Few things... What's the deal with girls messaging guys? Bad idea? Any girls have experience with this on OKCupid. My concern is if a guy doesn't message me first he's bound to be low interest, so it's sort of like getting off the courtship on the wrong foot.
zengirl Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Thanks for the responses, peeps. Few things... What's the deal with girls messaging guys? Bad idea? Any girls have experience with this on OKCupid. My concern is if a guy doesn't message me first he's bound to be low interest, so it's sort of like getting off the courtship on the wrong foot. What makes you think he saw you? Even if he did, maybe he's been discouraged recently and happened to see you at a time when he was all, "Eh, screw it, she's too pretty, she's never going to write me back." I've had guys write to me that weren't really that interested, and I've written fellows who turned out to be very interested. I don't think it impacts the interest level that much. I mean, if you write a guy a real message and he writes back 1 line or something, that either means he hates writing or really isn't interested, and that would be a case where I wouldn't think he was into me (Same with the genders reversed there). You still have to use common sense.
jamesum Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 I find dating sites to be dumb. When I meet someone in person, even if she isnt the most attractive but sometimes I feel some vibe that somehow makes me attracted to her.
Kamille Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 So, Shadow, what kind of vibe do you think you put out when out in public? And why do you keep ignoring that question? Does the question bother you? If so, why? You don't have to answer here, but I don't understand how it is that I have asked the same question at least 4 times in two of your most recent threads and you never answered it. This question is important because it is linked to an empirical experience of yours that you use as proof that men IRL don't find you attractive. This core belief about yourself, in my opinion, keeps your focus on appearances instead of challenging you to work on being comfortable expressing your personality when meeting new people.
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 Thanks for the responses, peeps. Few things... What's the deal with girls messaging guys? Bad idea? Any girls have experience with this on OKCupid. My concern is if a guy doesn't message me first he's bound to be low interest, so it's sort of like getting off the courtship on the wrong foot. Oh, he could have just not noticed your profile. Every guy I messaged first responded and sounded super keen and happy to initiate from then on. I even stopped replying to a few because I felt we don't have enough in common. I still get messages from some of them asking me what did they do wrong and why have I stopped responding. So, I wouldn't say low interest at all.
Dblock10 Posted August 8, 2010 Posted August 8, 2010 men should not join dating sites. They turn the tables and give women their power to accept and reject at its greatest. You get better women and much easier by just going out into the real world. qftw !
Recommended Posts