SassyKitten Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 from experience the extremely good looking ones (8.5-10's) are a mixed bag in terms of personality. But most have nice personalities. Its the middle group (6, 7's to 7.5's) usually who are more douchebags (men) and man eaters (women). I also keep in mind that the attractive get approached quite often which is why they seem rude/stuck up because they have to do a lot of rejecting. And most of the rejected are not very nice personality wise either. I've found that to be the case myself. When it comes to men, the 9s and 10s can be great people if the maturity level is there, douchebags if it isn't there. One thing I have found ever since I have gotten healthy and become attractive is that everyone, both male and female, is less likely to take me seriously as a person. For example, customer service people were much friendlier to me before I lost weight. I do tend to throw people off guard frequently when I show signs of intelligence, such as breaking into a conversation in Spanish or adding long numbers in my head without the assistance of a calculator. People seem to have some mental image that with my brainpower, I should look more like one of the girl nerds from Saved by the Bell than a tall, fit individual who often gets compared to the likes of Nicole Kidman and Uma Thurman.
MrNate Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I've found that to be the case myself. When it comes to men, the 9s and 10s can be great people if the maturity level is there, douchebags if it isn't there. One thing I have found ever since I have gotten healthy and become attractive is that everyone, both male and female, is less likely to take me seriously as a person. For example, customer service people were much friendlier to me before I lost weight. I do tend to throw people off guard frequently when I show signs of intelligence, such as breaking into a conversation in Spanish or adding long numbers in my head without the assistance of a calculator. People seem to have some mental image that with my brainpower, I should look more like one of the girl nerds from Saved by the Bell than a tall, fit individual who often gets compared to the likes of Nicole Kidman and Uma Thurman. Do you think more people dislike you now because you're in shape as well as including these other factors? I wonder why that would be the case?
MrNate Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 For kicks, after reading this, I posted my profile picture on hotornot.com and got an 8/10 so far. If that is good or bad, I don't know. But Wouldn't most people be considered very good looking nowadays to someone out there? If that's the case, could it be said that there are people out there who will consider you a d-bag regardless?
SassyKitten Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 Do you think more people dislike you now because you're in shape as well as including these other factors? I wonder why that would be the case? I think it's jealousy, and it's something I remember feeling when looking at gorgeous women before I got into shape. Plus, it's easy to assume that an attractive person is a complete airhead with nothing to offer except for their looks. Hence the throwing people off guard part. By the way, you do look a lot like one of my best friends in Georgia!
skydiveaddict Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I expect the "hot" women to be vapid, shallow and materialistic. Of course my definition of sexy/hot/whatever isn't those types. I agree with this
BubbleFreak Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 One thing I have found ever since I have gotten healthy and become attractive is that everyone, both male and female, is less likely to take me seriously as a person. For example, customer service people were much friendlier to me before I lost weight. I was in a similar situation. When I was overweight I was part of a group of girls I loved hanging around with at uni and who I had great conversations with. In a matter of a year I lost a ton of weight, wore makeup, got better haircuts and clothes, got happier in general, and they shunned me but never told me why. At the same time though I started getting heaps more male attention. Eventually I just had to make new friends. Thing is, I don't think my personality changed, except that I was happier in general. Therefore, when I see someone who I think is hot based on their natural looks and not considering their clothes or bling, I have no idea what they will be like until they start talking.
BubbleFreak Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 For kicks, after reading this, I posted my profile picture on hotornot.com and got an 8/10 so far. If that is good or bad, I don't know. But Wouldn't most people be considered very good looking nowadays to someone out there? If that's the case, could it be said that there are people out there who will consider you a d-bag regardless? I'd say 8/10 is good;) Yah definitely, the same person might be seen as a 3/10 to one person but a 7/10 to another. And since most people have some kind of prejudices towards others based on looks, then yes that automatically makes each and every one of us a d-bag to at least one other person out there on the planet.
SassyKitten Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 (edited) I was in a similar situation. When I was overweight I was part of a group of girls I loved hanging around with at uni and who I had great conversations with. In a matter of a year I lost a ton of weight, wore makeup, got better haircuts and clothes, got happier in general, and they shunned me but never told me why. At the same time though I started getting heaps more male attention. Eventually I just had to make new friends. Thing is, I don't think my personality changed, except that I was happier in general. Therefore, when I see someone who I think is hot based on their natural looks and not considering their clothes or bling, I have no idea what they will be like until they start talking. Unfortunately, jealousy is a huge part of friendships between women. It's not healthy. I had a similar experience of losing friends when I got healthier, and sometimes it can make it harder to make new female friends. Making male friends and keeping gay ones is easy! That said, making female friends seems to automatically become so much easier whenever I'm in a relationship, maybe because a lot of them feel threatened otherwise. Edited August 5, 2010 by SassyKitten
shadowplay Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I think it's more related to how attractive somebody thinks they are. Like I've noticed good-looking people who don't realize just how attractive they are also tend to be nicer people, while good looking people who think they're hot sh2#t tend to be the opposite. One of my roommates is gorgeous, but I don't get the sense she realizes how pretty she is. I'm sure she recognizes that she's pretty, but she may not realize how pretty. She's also extremely sweet.
shadowplay Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 Unfortunately, jealousy is a huge part of friendships between women. It's not healthy. I had a similar experience of losing friends when I got healthier, and sometimes it can make it harder to make new female friends. Making male friends and keeping gay ones is easy! That said, making female friends seems to automatically become so much easier whenever I'm in a relationship, maybe because a lot of them feel threatened otherwise. Can you enable your PM function, SK? I want to send you a message.
SassyKitten Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 Can you enable your PM function, SK? I want to send you a message. I think I have to be an established member first, but then I'll have been registered on here for 30 days as of Friday.
Enchanted Girl Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 What constitutes as being good looking or hot exactly? Yea, I agree. This issue is rather confusing for me because . . . I usually hate people who are surrounded by the opposite gender. I usually think poorly of them, that they are bad people, but I realized that not all those people are actually "hot" per say. They are just perceived as hot by a lot of people, so do they count as being hot? I remember this guy who irritated the heck out of me. I worked with him and he actually wasn't that attractive, although a lot of women at my work thought so. He was borderline anorexic and had really bad acne. I hated him and thought he was a womanizer and stuck-up and for some reason, I, at first, pictured him in my head as being attractive, but then I remembered how ugly he was and realized that was just a perception I had of him because of all the women around me. I've also been friends with girls (and not thought poorly of them at all) who were very pretty and who I wished I looked more like and not cared a bit, but I also had this friend in high school, who was very ugly, but surrounded by men and she tried to talk to me recently and I just wouldn't have it because I didn't want to deal with her flirting with my boyfriend when he moves here to be with me. =/ I just find those people to be really sleazy, but actually quite a bit of them are ugly as well. And if I'm going by people that *I* find attractive, men or women . . . . well, bad personalities tend to make people look a lot more ugly to me, so they'd have to have a good personality for me to think they are good looking and that probably means that I don't hate them.
USMCHokie Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I think it's more related to how attractive somebody thinks they are. Like I've noticed good-looking people who don't realize just how attractive they are also tend to be nicer people, while good looking people who think they're hot sh2#t tend to be the opposite. One of my roommates is gorgeous, but I don't get the sense she realizes how pretty she is. I'm sure she recognizes that she's pretty, but she may not realize how pretty. She's also extremely sweet. I agree with this. Attractive people who either believe or know that they are very attractive tend to expect that others will find them attractive. If someone deviates from that expectation, then they will react adversely and sometimes hostily to that person. However, those people who don't realize how attractive they are do not hold such expectations, especially from others. They tend to be "nicer" and more humble, as they don't know how else to act...
MrNate Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I think it's jealousy, and it's something I remember feeling when looking at gorgeous women before I got into shape. Hm. I guess I can see th at. Plus, it's easy to assume that an attractive person is a complete airhead with nothing to offer except for their looks. Hence the throwing people off guard part. By the way, you do look a lot like one of my best friends in Georgia! . lol This is a good thing right? And I can see about the jealously part. That makes sense.
USMCHokie Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 . And I can see about the jealously part. That makes sense. It happens between guys too...
MrNate Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I'd say 8/10 is good;) Yah definitely, the same person might be seen as a 3/10 to one person but a 7/10 to another. And since most people have some kind of prejudices towards others based on looks, then yes that automatically makes each and every one of us a d-bag to at least one other person out there on the planet. Thanks lol. So I guess in this regard it kind of makes the idea of making assumptions about someone hot pretty useless eh? Because hey, someone could be (and most likely is) doing the same to us.
SassyKitten Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 . lol This is a good thing right? And I can see about the jealously part. That makes sense. Of course it's a good thing! I'm learning over the years to not be jealous of people for any reason. People may seem like they have it all on the surface, but then I haven't gotten to know anyone on a deep level who doesn't feel like they've got at least one thing missing from their lives.
MrNate Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 It happens between guys too... This is true man! Especially that 'envy' look in the gym/outside. You know the one where you're minding your own business while guys look at you out the corner of their eyes? Or the ones inside the gym who think to themselves 'he takes steroids' as they go back to their bench to press 115 lbs? LOL. My powerlifting buds now it all too well.
USMCHokie Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 This is true man! Especially that 'envy' look in the gym/outside. You know the one where you're minding your own business while guys look at you out the corner of their eyes? Or the ones inside the gym who think to themselves 'he takes steroids' as they go back to their bench to press 115 lbs? LOL. My powerlifting buds now it all too well. Hahah, yep. But like it was established in the attention from clothing thread, guys are NOT subtle about it, so you'll just see guys staring at each other... No homo. And yes, guys use that steroid line because it's the only way they can explain to themselves why some other guy is lifting three times as much as they do or looks bigger than they do...those other guys must be "cheating"...they don't want to admit that they still have lots of work to put in... We all have egos...
meerkat stew Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 Whoa! That's not classy. I can't believe you've had a girl say that. On a date, no less. Next time, tell her "Oh?! *smile* well then, don't let me hold you back...!" ....completely changes the dynamic. I have had those types of comments from time to time, came up with "You couldn't possibly be that insecure," several years back, said in the warmest way possible with a smile, and have used it regularly since, works like a charm.
MrNate Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 Speaking of crazy comments...if one more of my parents colleagues ask me "when's the wedding date?" or "who's the lucky girl?" at the ripe age of 21, I just tell them "it just hasn't happened yet" (though I'm usually thinking why do they expect me to be married/contemplating it right now?) I guess I'm supposed to be tied down right now, planning a marriage..jeez. Not only are they crazy, but they're also depressing.
SadandConfusedWA Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I think the worst are men who are a 6 but think they are a 10. It's all about how you perceive yourself. As shadow pointed out, people that are not aware of how good looking they are tend to be much nicer. My lovely brother who is probably a 9, thinks he is a 6 and that he has no chance with hotter girls. He only asks out ones that are about average and then treats them like gold
sanoe Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 Personally, I try not to place expectations upon people when I'm seeing them for the first time. But there are times where you see a gorgeously dressed woman or really sexy guy and it's something about how they hold themselves that just screams 'mean'. The kind that makes you feel uncomfortable around their presence.. almost like a threat. It could just be their face though Then there are others who look so cute that you're content within their beautiful presence. I think just how they hold themselves really sets up how they'll be preceived. Regardless of their hot exterior. Kinda like an alpha vs omega thing.
USMCHokie Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 My lovely brother who is probably a 9, thinks he is a 6 and that he has no chance with hotter girls. He only asks out ones that are about average and then treats them like gold Sounds like my kinda guy (no homo). And its those "average" girls who will be the most appreciative of a guy like him...
angielove Posted August 5, 2010 Posted August 5, 2010 I always expect really good-looking people to KNOW that they are good-looking, and thus think and act accordingly. I dated this guy once who looked like a freaking Ken doll (lol!) and I was always so nervous/uncomfortable around him because I kept thinking that he thought (or knew...) that he was too good for me :S Now that I think about it... the guys I've found most attractive during my life have always been obsessed with sports and I therefore found them quite boring!
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