no sex before marriage issue

[Dazzel]

Personally, I think sex can either bring to people together, or not. So, I think It's important to have sex before marriage, as it can make two people closer together, that's why It's called 'Making Love'.

 

Very true. And it's also good to find out if you are sexually compatable. I know some marriages are ruined over two people not having a satisfactory sex life.

[GooseChaser]

I'm a Christian, and it isn't hard for me to wait. I wait by choice; there have been opportunities presented to me, but I choose to say no. I'm not afraid of sex. When I find and get married to the one I love, I will be ready to go; I can feel it. Until marriage though, I can live with, say, kissing, cuddling, and making out. It feels more comfortable. This kind of contact can build some of that same closeness that sex brings, and can help you see if you guys would be compatible actually going all the way. I think having fun making out would translate to sex, eh? I think you just need to try to get a feeling through that of whether you guys work together. There is plenty of chance to do that in a relationship.

 

There are some benefits to choosing to wait that I would like to mention:

- You typically get into sexual activities at an older age. This way you are more mature and can be more confident in that you are ready, and reduce the chance of doing things that you will regret.

- You eliminate suitors who don't even care enough about you and your feelings to be able to wait until you are ready. The remaining guys may be better or more compatible for you as far as values, and likely have genuine interest in you. Your beliefs will show through in how you carry yourself day to day, and you will attract more guys that have similar beliefs. This saves time and emotional energy. (There was one guy I knew who I was very close to, but at the age I was at when he was interested in me, I wasn't ready for sex and in fact had no experience in love and relationships, so he lost interest and gave up. He never even gave it a chnce, saying he didn't think it wouldn't work out. I believe he was wrong and it could have worked out if he had tried, but I also believe I'm better off and that he did me a favor in the end.)

- No stress about pregnancy as long as you know what you're doing. This is especially important to women. In my opinion, it's best to have children in a marriage, religious or not. They need a stable family that will support them as they grow.

- Health-- less sexual partners means less chance of picking up STIs. This can be attractive.

- Less regular dependence on birth control methods, including various medications that affect your health. Remember, you're messing with hormone levels. Serious stuff, again. Sometimes it's best to let nature do its thing rather than controlling it so much. Saves money, too!

- Keeps you safer in general, physically and emotionally. Sex is serious business.

- Maybe waiting for sex simplifies things a bit while you're still getting to know a guy or girl. It lets you focus on other important issues in the relationship and in life.

- It makes your wedding all the more anticipated. It's a happy occasion!

- You save some of yourself and build up energy over time for the one you really love. Think of the fireworks when that wall is finally down after the time waiting!

- Possibly less drama in the future involving exes and others in your life.

- Takes some pressure off of both sides to perform.

 

And more...

Edited August 18, 2010 by GooseChaser

[Present Value]

This kind of contact can build some of that same closeness that sex brings, and can help you see if you guys would be compatible actually going all the way. I think having fun making out would translate to sex, eh?

 

I think in general this is probably true, but I've had at least one experience where this wasn't the case that's left me leery of "guessing" what bedroom chemistry will be like based on other things.

 

As for the rest of your comment, I don't have any problem with people waiting until they are older or even until they're married. Obviously a certain level of maturity is important. And if people aren't going to be responsible and safe about sex, then no, they shouldn't be having it.

 

On the other hand, responsible and safe sex is possible, and I have a hard time seeing why it is admirable to abstain from it (at least in the religious sense I was taught growing up).

[GooseChaser]

Well, talking things out about sex with your partner is another thing you can do to see how compatible you are together without actually going all the way. I'm sure that would make a big difference too. It's important to have good communication.

 

Well, religiously, it's probably about respecting the institution of marriage and its blessings. You know, some people really disrespect marriage and avoid it, but it is so important in society. About abstaining, it can be a smart thing to do, for many of the reasons I listed and more. Elders often respect seeing it, I'm sure. It can make a person more appealing if a man notices they are selective and know what they want. It can make them want you more, the anticipation! It's also about saving it for the one you love most. I can see there being a real explosion emotionally if one waits so long and finally finds happiness and safety with someone, and trust them to be their one sexual partner for life. It protects the heart.

 

I think it's very possible to live happily without premarital sex and have healthy relationships. There are real benefits there if a person waits. Maybe that's just me being young and female though, ahaha. I think girls generally have an easier time waiting.

 

Safe sex is possible, which is a wonderful thing, because it protects us. However, we must be careful what medications we take and be aware of their effects on us. It's good to avoid them when possible, and abstaining makes that easier. Also, as effective as birth control can be, there is always that small chance that some undiscovered illness is there, or a pregnancy will result. We can make mistakes, and we have to be careful. As I said, it's serious, especially if a person is at a point in their life where they can't handle these things without great difficulty.

 

I'm not aiming to get admiration, it is just how I've decided I want things to be for myself at this time. It's my decision for my lifestyle. Others can do what they want, as long as they're smart, responsible, and safe about it. They should be able to accept both the benefits and risks of their actions. If you ask me, abstaining before marriage is very responsible too! I am not ready for a child, don't want to worry about birth control, and prefer the greater simplicity that comes with just forgetting about sex for a while. I'm still learning and growing up anyway. Things are complicated enough already in my life, and I don't need to add the pressures of sex to that, especially premarital. Marital sex gives security. Therefore, for now, I choose to wait.

 

One pet peeve of mine: I bet some guys think that because I follow many Christian values, I and others like me don't like physical contact at all out of marriage. Not true! I guess that's where flirting comes in though.

 

About guys, of course some of them will lose interest if a person decides that they want to wait. However, that brings a person that much closer to finding guys with similar beliefs! This is a good thing. Being single for a while doesn't make someone a terrible person, haha.

Edited August 18, 2010 by GooseChaser

[aerogurl87]

Ok so I believe in a God (leaning towards Christianity mostly) and my boyfriend is a Christian but we have sex. I don't think God meant for people to wait till they were legally married to have sex, I think He meant for them to wait till they were committed to one another on an emotional and mental level long term before they have sex. That is the point of marriage, committing to someone for what will hopefully be the rest of your life. So if you've done this before being married, what's the problem?

 

Ok yeah I could be wrong about this but I'll have to answer for what I've done when I stand before God on Judgement Day. Till then my boyfriend and I have committed ourselves to one another completely except by legally getting married. But we have the mentality that we are 100% committed to one another in a partnership that is not bound by legal books only, but transcends that. And I know some marriages that are missing that, so yeah. I think as long as two people love each other and our committed to one another and know they want it to be long term, there's no issue in having sex before being legally married. Adam and Eve weren't married and yet they had sex, unless some marriage ceremony happened in the garden of Eden and I missed that when reading Genesis.

[Dazzel]

Sometimes I don't understand why most religious hold sex as sacred. To be blunt and this is not meant to offend, but it's a simply mechanical process. Sticking one body part into another. Reproduction. Like some other bodily functions, it can feel good or not so good. It's a necessity to make life go on. We NEED sex to keept he species here. It's sacred in the fact it needs to keep going, not to be withheld from oneself.

 

I also find the fact that many beliefs have taken advantage of the woman's hymen to be sickening. We have physical proof of being virgin. However, not all women even have one, so thisy can be mistaken as a nonvirgin.

But really, who cares? Why do women have this burden? It's more imporant for a women to be a virgin than a man in most instances, it seems. That damn hymen is a curse for us. An unneeded part of our anatomy, and it screws us over. And men of all times have used it against us. Like in some religions, a woman is stoned if she doesn't have one.

 

Very sad.

Edited August 22, 2010 by Dazzel

[taiko]

Sometimes I don't understand why most religious hold sex as sacred. To be blunt and this is not meant to offend, but it's a simply mechanical process. Sticking one body part into another. Reproduction. Like some other bodily functions, it can feel good or not so good. It's a necessity to make life go on. We NEED sex to keept he species here. It's sacred in the fact it needs to keep going, not to be withheld from oneself.

 

.

Until relatively recently babies needed intact families to survive also. Unless the extended community were willing to help as in the case of helping widows mentioned in Holy books. It is still difficult for a single person to raise a child. Without exclusivity, imposed by religion and other moral codes the male has little incentive to help raise the baby. While many won't be as bad as a male lion who will kill the cubs so a female will mate with him, men will just walk away.

[aerogurl87]

The marriage was when God created Eve and called her Adams help mate. She was his and he was hers. But of course all changed once they ate that damning fruit.

 

But that's my point bentnotbroken. There was no legal paperwork they had to sign that said they were husband and wife. They knew in their truest of hearts they were husband and wife in the eyes of God. No government sanctioned their marriage, they just committed themselves to each other in the eyes of God and were considered married. And that's how I feel about my boyfriend which is why for the first time I don't feel exactly bad about having premarital sex with someone because in my heart he is already my husband.

[taiko]

The bible also says to render unto Ceaser what is Caesar's...meaning because marriage has been "tagged" as a legal (to get your cash with licenses) institution, we are instructed by God's word to do that too. NO I do not believe the paper is what makes a person married, but we are to try to follow all the commandments of God. You don't have to feel bad about premarital sex. That is a choice you have to make. But why should some one else feel bad because their choice is to not have sex before marriage?

 

Though you may feel married in your heart, legally you don't have the right to make decisions about his health care(unless specifically stated by him), finances, etc. Those are only a few of the advantages to legal marriage. Just saying.

 

And then later the major church proclaimed that unless their official representative witnessed a ceremony in the official place or a bishop gave his permission for a different form then its members were still not validly married in the Church's/God's eyes.

Edited August 24, 2010 by taiko

[aerogurl87]

The bible also says to render unto Ceaser what is Caesar's...meaning because marriage has been "tagged" as a legal (to get your cash with licenses) institution, we are instructed by God's word to do that too. NO I do not believe the paper is what makes a person married, but we are to try to follow all the commandments of God. You don't have to feel bad about premarital sex. That is a choice you have to make. But why should some one else feel bad because their choice is to not have sex before marriage?

 

Though you may feel married in your heart, legally you don't have the right to make decisions about his health care(unless specifically stated by him), finances, etc. Those are only a few of the advantages to legal marriage. Just saying.

 

I don't think there's anything wrong with waiting to have sex till your married. I wish I had done that actually, not because of my boyfriend now, but because of the guys I'd been with before him. But yes I know there are legal advantages, but until my boyfriend and I can afford to move me 2000 miles away to another country and pay the fees to get me a fiance or marriage visa, we won't be getting legally married. As I said, I think abstinence till being married is good and the best way to go. But I still think in my heart I'm married to him already.

[BlueRidgeMTs]

Im the OP, back again. I have read all the responses and I'm still confused. LOL I just dont know. Like I said, i'm new to christianity, and i tend to look at organized religion (sometimes) as just an excuse to judge others and hate. I find the "holy rollers" to be rigid in their views, and hypocritical. I tend to watch what people DO..not what they preach. I see SO many hypocrites in religion, and Im trying to not let that sour me on things.

 

As far as sex goes, I have always felt that you should wait until both people feel committed to one another, and know they want a relationship with each other, and not just booty calls. After that, I saw sex as a just a part of loving one another. I also think that those who wait for marriage may rush to get married quicker than those who are having sex. The first time my friend's boyfriend mentioned marriage, they had only been dating 4 weeks. They have only been dating BARELY 2 months and he has already said a number of times that they are gonna get married in the spring. PLUS..just 9 months ago..he was talking about possibly marrying ANOTHER girlfriend he had been dating. (not the one he slept with). He has dated 6 women (including my friend) in the past 2 years.

Im wondering if its more the INSTITUTION of marriage that he longs for, rather than my friend.

 

Plus..he is a bit critical of my friend, which annoys me. He tells her how she should dress..that she should lose weight..wear her hair differently..wear a push up bra to boost up her boobs..etc..etc. So, that is why i was wondering if it was so easy for him not to have sex with her. But..im just the friend..i cant say anything..or she gets pissed.

 

On the other hand..he does do nice things for her too, hes just a bit controlling. But, he is in church twice a week, reads the bible all the time, Praises God throughout the day, and swears God turned his life around. Bah..i dont know. Im just skeptical of the holy rollers at times. I have issues i need to work on in regards to religion i guess.

[carhill]

Seems like there's a bit of a disconnect between what he's swearing to in church and how he's treating his GF. There's that old actions and words thing again.

 

My philosophy of sex and committed love mirrors yours and it kept me a virgin until into my 30's, that during the 'free love' era and, later, the 'AID's era'. Not everyone can or would desire to walk that path. Many paths in life. It's nice to find a compatible companion to walk with. I rejected the Catholic church as soon as they squirted me out of one of their high schools. Great education but whoa the propaganda and touchy-feely brothers

[jenifer1972]

He is the typical type of person who flips from one extreme to another. Reading the Bible, and praying multiple times a day is totally not an indication of being a good person or a stable kind person.

 

Just look at all the hyper-religious people of all religions who pray multiple times a day, yet have burned others at the stake, chopped others' heads off, waged bloody crusades, and basically lie like sidewalks and are total hypocrites (several TV preachers who like hookers and young boys come to mind). Actions are the only thing that counts. His current and past actions are not a good track record. Words are bull cr#p.

[BlueRidgeMTs]

He is the typical type of person who flips from one extreme to another. Reading the Bible, and praying multiple times a day is totally not an indication of being a good person or a stable kind person.

 

Just look at all the hyper-religious people of all religions who pray multiple times a day, yet have burned others at the stake, chopped others' heads off, waged bloody crusades, and basically lie like sidewalks and are total hypocrites (several TV preachers who like hookers and young boys come to mind). Actions are the only thing that counts. His current and past actions are not a good track record. Words are bull cr#p.

 

 

I've tried to tell him those highlighted things, and he just brushes it off because he says he is "saved" and he has turned his life over to God..blah blah. He will say he is just trying to bring the best out of my friend. However, i feel there are kinder, gentler ways of doing that BESIDES being negative.

 

I am not one of his favorite people as you can imagine. Go figure.

 

And you know what he told her? Because she says to him the same things I do (ease up on being so critical..dont be a hypocrite, etc). He just tells her she is being hard headed, and he needs to teach her values and morals! Excuse me?? This guy used to be a drug dealer, and then got into real estate and went to prison for doing dirty real estate scams. He "found God" in prison, and now is this holy roller. I told him my friend didnt need to find God to know that drug dealing and scamming people was a bad thing. But, he just says his past doesnt matter now because he has turned his life over to God, and he is no more of a sinner than anyone else now. Isnt it GREAT that religion allows you to just start anew so you can look down on others?? (note the sarcasm here).

[jenifer1972]

He will never change from this current mode of being. He is a sociopath, masquerading as a "newly washed" Christian sheep, but it is the same old controlling wolf underneath. Unfortunately, it is pointless for you to confront him on any of this. He now has a new set of "fixed delusions" which are working very well for him, thank you. And giving him a whole new repertoire for controlling people.

 

I hope you can help your friend, but she needs to leave him. this sounds like the guy in "Sleeping with the Enemy"..

[BlueRidgeMTs]

I hope you can help your friend, but she needs to leave him. this sounds like the guy in "Sleeping with the Enemy"..

 

OH MY GAWD!!!!! I can't believe you said that because that is what I call him!!!! Oh my GOD! I call him that because he has all his stuff lined up in his cupboards just like the guy in that movie "Sleeping with the enemy". He knows when one little thing is out of place in his house..and he will tell my friend " that doesnt go there" if she puts one little thing in the wrong place.

 

One day me and my boyfriend were over his house because they invited us for dinner. I put a piece of gum in my mouth and carefully folded up the gum wrapper and just laid it on one of his end tables because I was going to throw it out in just a couple of minutes.

 

You know he swooped down like a hawk, picked up the tiny piece of rolled up paper, and held it out to me with this stern look on his face. I was like Oh my goodness..I was going to throw it in the trash in 2 minutes!!

 

I cant believe you thought of that movie even without me mentioning how he lines up all his stuff in order. LOL Wow..that scares me even more now that someone else sees the connection.

[jenifer1972]

Well, that is very interesting isn't it? You can't really address his super wacko neat freak thing, but this is what you tell him when he starts to preach.

 

I am no longer in the Christian faith, but I grew up in it and know it all, all, trust me, and when "newbie baby" Christians would get on their high horse and start preaching to the rest of us, I would tell them, "you are a newbie, a BABY christian. Your place is to be quiet and learn from those who have been in the faith for years. When you have been a Christian 'walking the walk' for about 10 years, then you can start telling the rest of us how to behave. Until then, sit down, listen, and learn." Seriously, he has no business lecturing ANYONE on how to behave and I wouldn't take it off him.

[elaina]

Im the OP, back again. I have read all the responses and I'm still confused. LOL I just dont know. Like I said, i'm new to christianity, and i tend to look at organized religion (sometimes) as just an excuse to judge others and hate. I find the "holy rollers" to be rigid in their views, and hypocritical. I tend to watch what people DO..not what they preach. I see SO many hypocrites in religion, and Im trying to not let that sour me on things.

Yeah sad to say there is a lot of hate and hypocrisy. I wish there wasn't, but people are human surprise surprise so even the ones who think they are perfect definitely aren't.

 

I am a Christian, and it does really bother me when Christians hate homosexual people or Muslim people or people who support abortions or whoever else there is hatred against.

 

Jesus commanded his followers to love people, not hate.

 

As far as sex goes, I have always felt that you should wait until both people feel committed to one another, and know they want a relationship with each other, and not just booty calls. After that, I saw sex as a just a part of loving one another.

Agreed even though because of my belief. I was a virgin until I got married. I divorced because of immaturity on my part sad to say (Yeah I'm by no means perfect) and I wish I could go back and work on my marriage but I can't. Anyways, I do want to not have sex until I get married again, because it is important to me to do what you said, but also to please God in how I believe God wants me to wait until marriage for sex. That is difficult since I love sex, but yes you're right it's not good to marry in order to just get sex.

 

I also think that those who wait for marriage may rush to get married quicker than those who are having sex.

Sad but yes I agree. I think that many who wait for marriage to have sex do so because they want to please God by following His commands concerning sex. It takes a lot of self control to wait though, and yes many young believers in God who want to obey God think marriage is the way to get sex, and make decisions that are too hasty.

 

The first time my friend's boyfriend mentioned marriage, they had only been dating 4 weeks. They have only been dating BARELY 2 months and he has already said a number of times that they are gonna get married in the spring. PLUS..just 9 months ago..he was talking about possibly marrying ANOTHER girlfriend he had been dating. (not the one he slept with). He has dated 6 women (including my friend) in the past 2 years.

Im wondering if its more the INSTITUTION of marriage that he longs for, rather than my friend.

Hmm. I don't know, but that does sound questionable. I have a good friend at church who dated like 4 women from the church and now he and the last one are getting married. I'm happy for him because I think that they are great for each other! He is an extremely handsome, charismatic and fun man, and has broken many girls' hearts (even ones he hasn't dated cause many girls have liked him) so I'm glad he's now off the market!

 

Plus..he is a bit critical of my friend, which annoys me. He tells her how she should dress..that she should lose weight..wear her hair differently..wear a push up bra to boost up her boobs..etc..etc. So, that is why i was wondering if it was so easy for him not to have sex with her. But..im just the friend..i cant say anything..or she gets pissed.

Oh dear that doesn't sound good at all! Did you tell him that if he wants to change her, maybe he needs to revaluate if he's ready to marry her, cause marriage doesn't mean changing a person into what the other wants them to be. That's for her to decide and do, even though it is nice to be encouraged by one's mate to be healthy and fit!

 

On the other hand..he does do nice things for her too, hes just a bit controlling. But, he is in church twice a week, reads the bible all the time, Praises God throughout the day, and swears God turned his life around. Bah..i dont know. Im just skeptical of the holy rollers at times. I have issues i need to work on in regards to religion i guess.

Well, it's cool he does nice things for her and some guys are naturally controlling, like some girls are naturally controlling. About his beliefs, that's between him and God and it's ok you have issues about it. Beliefs are very personal but yeah it would worry me that he is not satisfied with your friend the way she is and yet wants to marry her. To me I would think it's important to be satisfied with how a person is before getting married. People do change after marriage and if a person changes in less healthy ways, yes it's understandable for the mate to encourage the other to make better choices, but starting out... I think it's important to accept a person how they are. Edited August 30, 2010 by elaina

[Eve]

Well my daughters new boyfriend is American and he is strongly against having sex before marriage. Plus he is anti smoking, drinking and is as bright as a button. They are 15 (well nearly 16) and 17. After the last one who tried to push himself on her all the time, I don't mind this new boy coming to my home and dating my beautiful daughter.

 

Talk about an answer to prayer..

 

Not sure about them marrying young at the mo.. but they both are certain this will happen for them... so I don't know.

 

They both know what they want in regards to their future education and careers etc... but their faith is their priority.

 

A weight of mind, I'll tell you! Especially as my girl briefly (and I mean briefly) was involved with dodgy peers.. who basically just ****ed around.

 

Take care,

Eve xx

[GooseChaser]

I have one more thing I'd like to add! I was reading about this on a Christian website, and from my reading there and from past experience, one of the reasons Christians avoid premarital sex is because some of them see it as "adultery." "How so? They are not married!" Yes, but those people see it as cheating on a person's future husband or wife. They feel strongly about having that connection with only the one that they marry, and preferably in a marriage. Once in a marriage, sex is considered a blessing.

[taiko]

I have one more thing I'd like to add! I was reading about this on a Christian website, and from my reading there and from past experience, one of the reasons Christians avoid premarital sex is because some of them see it as "adultery." "How so? They are not married!" Yes, but those people see it as cheating on a person's future husband or wife. They feel strongly about having that connection with only the one that they marry, and preferably in a marriage. Once in a marriage, sex is considered a blessing.

Betrothed, the modern engaged would be considered married when considering adultery versus mere fornication codes sake. First, socially any women old enough to have sex with would have been betrothed (maybe to the church/God), married, widowed or a prostitute. While adultery is a subset of fornication but since most women were married/engaged anyway adultery is used more often then fornication in Biblical usage. It is claimed that Jesus taught that to look at a women, no mention of her status, with lust is to commit adultery

[GooseChaser]

Betrothed, the modern engaged would be considered married when considering adultery versus mere fornication codes sake. First, socially any women old enough to have sex with would have been betrothed (maybe to the church/God), married, widowed or a prostitute. While adultery is a subset of fornication but since most women were married/engaged anyway adultery is used more often then fornication in Biblical usage. It is claimed that Jesus taught that to look at a women, no mention of her status, with lust is to commit adultery

 

Ah, thanks for the clarification! That's interesting!

[Floridaman]

Im the OP, back again. I have read all the responses and I'm still confused. LOL I just dont know. Like I said, i'm new to christianity, and i tend to look at organized religion (sometimes) as just an excuse to judge others and hate. I find the "holy rollers" to be rigid in their views, and hypocritical. I tend to watch what people DO..not what they preach. I see SO many hypocrites in religion, and Im trying to not let that sour me on things.

 

As far as sex goes, I have always felt that you should wait until both people feel committed to one another, and know they want a relationship with each other, and not just booty calls. After that, I saw sex as a just a part of loving one another. I also think that those who wait for marriage may rush to get married quicker than those who are having sex.

OP, what are your thoughts now?

You said you're new to Christianity. Have you stopped having sex?

Or just limiting sex to men you are in love with?

If you're having sex, how comfortable are you with that?

 

If your man is a Christian, how do you feel about having sex with him?

Or,,,, have you a found a man who isn't pressuring you for sex?

 

I wouldn't recommend bringing this up while making love together. It can kill the mood pretty quickly.

He may get scared and pull-out. (Maybe better in the afterglow after some I Love You's between deep passionate kisses, loving embraces, and passionate promises about never leaving each other).

\

A confession: I had sex with my Christian GF before we got married. Many times (on weekends and vacations). It was an LDR and I couldn't get enough of her and her beauty which enticed me.

 

I remember telling her once, "I'm not the most faithful Christian, but I try" or something. This shortly after climaxing into her... She had this look on her face like, "No kidding... (implying, "I can see that...")

Edited October 11, 2010 by Floridaman

[Disillusioned]

For the record, I'm not religious, but I have no need whatsoever to have sex before marriage.

 

Suppose I do have a bit of sex, and it thrills me, etc etc. My property tax will still be due. The electric bill will still need to be paid. I'll still have to get food for my dog. Get the picture? If you don't, you never will.

[BlueRidgeMTs]

OP, what are your thoughts now?

You said you're new to Christianity. Have you stopped having sex?

Or just limiting sex to men you are in love with?

If you're having sex, how comfortable are you with that?

 

If your man is a Christian, how do you feel about having sex with him?

Or,,,, have you a found a man who isn't pressuring you for sex?

 

I wouldn't recommend bringing this up while making love together. It can kill the mood pretty quickly.

He may get scared and pull-out. (Maybe better in the afterglow after some I Love You's between deep passionate kisses, loving embraces, and passionate promises about never leaving each other).

\

A confession: I had sex with my Christian GF before we got married. Many times (on weekends and vacations). It was an LDR and I couldn't get enough of her and her beauty which enticed me.

 

I remember telling her once, "I'm not the most faithful Christian, but I try" or something. This shortly after climaxing into her... She had this look on her face like, "No kidding... (implying, "I can see that...")

 

 

Well, it's my good friend who is having the issue with the bible thumping boyfriend. My boyfriend and i have had sex twice, but stopped. However, he does not act like my friend's boyfriend does.

 

Funny i should revisit this thread today. We all went out for dinner today at a restaurant, and this guy made a comment to my friend AGAIN about how she should dress. I then overheard him tell her that she was beautiful, and that he wanted to just "tear her up" (meaning sex) but she had to have that attractiveness for him. Meaning, he wanted her to look attractive for him. She asked him if that is why he did not want to have sex, and he just rolled his eyes like she was crazy for asking that. She told him that other guys find her attractive just the way she is, but he just rolled his eyes again.

 

But to me, that just answered my original question. It's just probably easier for him to not have sex with her because she doesn't dress up like a barbie doll the way he wants her too. UGH why does she stay with him. Well, i know why..she has low self esteem.