Raderick Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 I'm a near-23 year old guy living in San Diego. Here, we have a good public transportation system, nothing too great. It gets me from point A to point B without any problems. In March, I totaled my truck due to a van side-swiping me on a blind corner as I was pulling out. Since then, I have for the most part depended on PT to get me to places. I've liked it to the point where I have zero in purchasing another car in the near-future, as it has also helped on the wallet as well ($72 for a monthly pass as compared to spending $100+ on gas and another $130 on insurance). I'm honest as to telling people I don't own a car and why. As I don't often date, I don't really know how women's attitudes are with guys who don't own their own car. Of course I don't mind doing a bit of driving and pay for gas to offset costs and whatnot, but what are your own opinions on the subject?
Author Raderick Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 I think you need a car I disagree, but for each their own.
brainygirl Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 I disagree, but for each their own. If you live where public transit is adequate, its one thing. Can you get to the store after seven? How about out to a suburb or to a hospital or bar or theater or any other place where a meet up or emergency might take you? I live in a rural area where public transit is non-existent. There is literally no way to function as an independent adult without a car. I made the mistake once, years ago, of dating a guy who didn't have a reliable car. He had a clunker that died shortly after we got serious. All of a sudden I was his taxi service. I wont do it again. Must have a car.
skydiveaddict Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 If you're gonna take a girl on a date you need a car
Author Raderick Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 If you live where public transit is adequate, its one thing. Can you get to the store after seven? How about out to a suburb or to a hospital or bar or theater or any other place where a meet up or emergency might take you? I live in a rural area where public transit is non-existent. There is literally no way to function as an independent adult without a car. I made the mistake once, years ago, of dating a guy who didn't have a reliable car. He had a clunker that died shortly after we got serious. All of a sudden I was his taxi service. I wont do it again. Must have a car. Most services here stop around 11-12 AM-ish. So yeah. Everything I need is within walking distance, so it's not like I'll be asking for rides. Plus I'm dependent enough in that I'm perfectly happy using the trolley to get to places and not ask others for rides.
alphamale Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 I'm honest as to telling people I don't own a car and why. As I don't often date, I don't really know how women's attitudes are with guys who don't own their own car. Of course I don't mind doing a bit of driving and pay for gas to offset costs and whatnot, but what are your own opinions on the subject? with your windfall savings you could always rent a vehicle for a date
Author Raderick Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 If you live where public transit is adequate, its one thing. Can you get to the store after seven? How about out to a suburb or to a hospital or bar or theater or any other place where a meet up or emergency might take you? I live in a rural area where public transit is non-existent. There is literally no way to function as an independent adult without a car. I made the mistake once, years ago, of dating a guy who didn't have a reliable car. He had a clunker that died shortly after we got serious. All of a sudden I was his taxi service. I wont do it again. Must have a car. Most services here stop around 11-12 AM-ish. So yeah. Everything I need is within walking distance, so it's not like I'll be asking for rides. And even if I need to get to somewhere "far", I don't need to ask for a ride. Parties, yeah, only because I refuse to drive knowing I'm going to drink anyways.
skydiveaddict Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 with your windfall savings you could always rent a vehicle for a date true, never thought of that
Author Raderick Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 with your windfall savings you could always rent a vehicle for a date Second date, then third date, then random adventures, then her wondering why at each date I drive a different vehicle, then telling her the truth... It adds up, my friend.
Gallaxia Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 If it's just yourself, and there's adequate PT, sure it's fine to be without. But if you plan on incorporating someone else, it'd be advisable to have a car. Things do come up. Plus, nothing will kill romantic spontaneity better than having to hurry up and...... wait.... for the next bus. Buzz...kill...
brainygirl Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Second date, then third date, then random adventures, then her wondering why at each date I drive a different vehicle, then telling her the truth... It adds up, my friend. You could save for a few months and then buy a car outright, no monthly payment, and insurance is lower. I never finance cars.
Ingenue Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 I'm personally fine with a potential partner not owning a car. In fact, the man I'm dating now does not own a car. Neither do I. I live in a city with good public transportation. There are four grocery stores within a half hour walk and my bike can take me anywhere. If we want to go out of town, we rent a car for the weekend or the day. And there are car sharing services that you could look into. I can understand where a car would be necessary in some places where there is no public transportation. If you've made a choice to not have a car, that's your choice. Don't feel bad about. If you decide to rent cars to go on dates, don't apologize or feel bad about it. You decided to not own a car for economic reasons, environmental reasons, ethical reasons [insert reason]. You can date without a car. You just have to choose places that are easily accessible on public transportation. And you have to choose a potential partner who doesn't mind not having a car to step into for a date. There are many girls out there who couldn't care less if their partners have cars. Do I sometimes wish I had a vehicle? Sure. But then I think about the savings. I'm not paying for gas, or insurance or parking or the car itself. For me, that's enough of a savings to not bother having a car.
TheWatcher Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 In terms of dating,It is VERY important for a man to own a vehicle.It is a symbol of status & mobility that plays some part in some women's decision of whether a man is worthy or dateable.Whether or not a woman owns a car does not factor into the avg guy's decision on whether or not to pursue a relationship. The only city in North America that a guy can get away with not owning a vehicle is New York.
sumdude Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 It all depends on location. For example not having a car in New York City is somewhat irrelevant. I don't know SF that well but big urban areas that have decent public transport are a different ballgame than the burbs or country. But more to the point of the OP. The fact that you're worried about not having a car affecting your potential love life is the real issue. A friend of mine who has had the most success with ladies rarely had a car if even a steady job.
carhill Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 If you're gonna take a girl on a date you need a car One word: Hertz No worries for me, I got four, all old, definitely guaranteed to not impress. OP, at some point, if you want dating to move beyond the realm of what public transport can offer, as well as for your own 'freedom' to explore, having a car can be a good thing. It doesn't have to be cool or expensive; just something clean and reliable and cheap to insure.
mortensorchid Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 If a man doesn't own a car, I have some trouble thinking that he is responsible or even capable of caring for himself. I understand this situation that you have just described, but it's a sign of adulthood / responsibility. I knew a guy who did not have a car and he was in his 40s, he turned out to be a real loser in just about every aspect of his life. Also, people will see you as a user - you always need a ride, and they will resent having to pick you up / drop you off all the time. I would recommend that if you REALLY need to, rent a car for a one time event. But, save up for a car. Not a sports car, but a modest sedan is fine.
Lakeside_runner Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 If a man doesn't own a car, I have some trouble thinking that he is responsible or even capable of caring for himself. WHAT?!?!?!?! While I think that having a car simplifies dating a lot and to me there is nothing more humiliating than being driven home by the girl I've been out with, I don't think that not having a car is that bad. The important thing is the reasons for which a guy does not have a car. Imagine someone who had a car, saw the stocks of Citibank hitting $1.00, sold his car, bought these stocks and sold them for $4.50 couple of months later. Really - a looser?!?!?!
carhill Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 A real man has a car *and* day trades Seen from the woman's perspective, of course
Author Raderick Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 But more to the point of the OP. The fact that you're worried about not having a car affecting your potential love life is the real issue. A friend of mine who has had the most success with ladies rarely had a car if even a steady job. Well this issue in general doesn't affect my love life, since I really don't have one in the first place (nor am I actively trying to obtain one), I'm just trying to gain perspective from other people if/when I do dive in.
Author Raderick Posted July 15, 2010 Author Posted July 15, 2010 A real man has a car *and* day trades Seen from the woman's perspective, of course I see what you did there.
alphamale Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Second date, then third date, then random adventures, then her wondering why at each date I drive a different vehicle, then telling her the truth... just tell her you have a "fleet" of vehicles
Pyro Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 I think you should have a vehicle, mostly because of any sudden emergencies where you would have to get somewhere fast. For dating its not necessary at first, especially if you have great public transportation, but eventually you may want to venture out somewhere farther where the PT may not take you or may take you hours to get there with the PT.
carhill Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Here ya go If it hasn't had a cam belt in the last 50K (it was due at 180K), offer 2K for it. The engine will go 300K miles with maintenance easy. Any date would be proud to sit in it. Cheap insurance too (sedan). I've worked on numerous Honda/Acuras and they're reliable transportation. Old car like that shouldn't have a bill of sale for more than 1K. Look at the miles. POS. Tell the DMV I said so. Tell me, did you get a settlement check on the truck and did you take it back and part it out? Vehicles are gold mines of parts. Craigslist You can see that owning a vehicle is pretty important to me....
Pfiend101 Posted July 15, 2010 Posted July 15, 2010 Honestly if a woman didn't have a car it would be a deal breaker for me. How's she supposed to get around and come see me and what not. Should I have to pick her up 24/7. No
Recommended Posts