Should the OW/OM attend the children's sporting events...even inconspicuously?

[bentnotbroken]

Seriously, you have no idea the hell this b*tch has put me through, her kids through, and her xH. She is much like OWoman's H's xW. And I think I have every right to be angry given what she pulled, and what he pulled. But you really have no business judging me.

 

You are right; no one here knows what she pulled, he pulled or what you pulled. They can only go by what you post. I am pretty sure she might say the same thing about you. We have no idea.

[greengoddess]

In all honesty it didn't really matter to me...that wasn't why I attended, I just thought I'd note that sometimes the lack of interaction with spouses is telling.

 

Actually at most kids sporting events there is a lack of interaction with the husband and wife. The men all are talking the sport and puffing their chests out to each other about the great play the kid made or what have you while the women are happpily watching cheering and chatting together about other things. Husbands and wives spend a lot of alone time together and sporting events are a social thing where they both have fun socializing with everyone not cuddled up to one another. Then when they get home they happily talk about how great their child played and how this guy said this and oh this woman said this and they share happy gossip with one aother from their seperate conversations cuddled together sharing an intimacy of their shared event with different aspects of it for each of them.

[greengoddess]

You are right; no one here knows what she pulled, he pulled or what you pulled. They can only go by what you post. I am pretty sure she might say the same thing about you. We have no idea.

 

:laugh:That always cracks me up when an ow says you would not believe what she pulled. LOL she would not have pulled anything if the ow hadn't been involved in pulling something over on the wife. Kind of like um sorry ow but you started it.

[seren]

Our house is wall to wall World Cup football at the moment, at other times, some other sporting event or other. During the matches, H and I have no interaction, he is so absorbed watching the match. Ditto when we used to watch our son in sporting events, we were too busy watching him, sitting on the edge of our seats rooting for him.

 

But afterwards, we went for a pizza, rehashed the event and celebrated winning or taking part.

If you had looked at me and H tonight you might think we weren't speaking, were not connected - but we have been together so long, we just don't need to interact at every moment, being together is enough.

[califnan]

:laugh:That always cracks me up when an ow says you would not believe what she pulled. LOL she would not have pulled anything if the ow hadn't been involved in pulling something over on the wife. Kind of like um sorry ow but you started it.

 

--------------------

 

drruuuMMdudu ... O Woman to the Rescue ..

[fooled once]

Actually at most kids sporting events there is a lack of interaction with the husband and wife. The men all are talking the sport and puffing their chests out to each other about the great play the kid made or what have you while the women are happpily watching cheering and chatting together about other things. Husbands and wives spend a lot of alone time together and sporting events are a social thing where they both have fun socializing with everyone not cuddled up to one another. Then when they get home they happily talk about how great their child played and how this guy said this and oh this woman said this and they share happy gossip with one aother from their seperate conversations cuddled together sharing an intimacy of their shared event with different aspects of it for each of them.

 

Exactly.

 

I am also baffled why any OW would WANT to go to the MM's kids events. Why? You don't know anyone. You are there by yourself. Is it to see him and his wife together? It can't be - IMHO - to watch the kid who you don't even know, probably won't ever know (even if you can figure out which ones are his). I just don't get it. I GET going to a friends kids events, because at least you have your friend there with you to talk to. But to sit there, on a bleacher, by yourself .... and I know that I was a Team Mom when my son did baseball. I knew all the parents. I would have been to some stranger sitting in the bleachers for our team.

 

One dad and I got to know each other good - I knew his wife too but she worked normally on the weekends so she wasn't there. Many of the other team parents thought he and I were an item because we always sat together and talked. But nope, never. His wife even joked with him and I about it. I made sure, since I was single, she knew that there was NO WAY I was interested in her H as anything more than a team parent.

 

I guess to each their own, but anything more than 1 event WOULD be stalkerish IMHO.

[sugarbritches]

Exactly.

 

I am also baffled why any OW would WANT to go to the MM's kids events. Why? You don't know anyone. You are there by yourself. Is it to see him and his wife together? It can't be - IMHO - to watch the kid who you don't even know, probably won't ever know (even if you can figure out which ones are his). I just don't get it. I GET going to a friends kids events, because at least you have your friend there with you to talk to. But to sit there, on a bleacher, by yourself .... and I know that I was a Team Mom when my son did baseball. I knew all the parents. I would have been to some stranger sitting in the bleachers for our team.

 

One dad and I got to know each other good - I knew his wife too but she worked normally on the weekends so she wasn't there. Many of the other team parents thought he and I were an item because we always sat together and talked. But nope, never. His wife even joked with him and I about it. I made sure, since I was single, she knew that there was NO WAY I was interested in her H as anything more than a team parent.

 

I guess to each their own, but anything more than 1 event WOULD be stalkerish IMHO.

 

Had my ex OW came to one of my kids events, she would have regretted it. She can have my husband, but she better leave my kids alone! No way in hell would I allow that. My ex wouldn't even let my kids meet her after I threw his butt to the curb. She dumped him a month later.

[pureinheart]

Before I even knew what happened and when he said they were just friends .. and he just didn't want to be married anymore..

 

I walked past a brand new gray Cadillac with her name on the license plate.. The two of them were sitting in lawn chairs on the first base side of the field of the playoff game..

 

I was in such shock, I cried in the bleachers during the whole game.. I know people who we had known all of those years in little league .. must have thought I was crazy.. She continued to attend most of the games .. (thankfully a short playoff season) ..

 

If one has the gall to call a man at his business for diff reasons all of those months prior to breaking up the marriage .. she has audacity for anything?

 

He died 10 years later .. Now she is remarried and in the midst of ruining another family .. He has contacted prostate cancer .. and she has gone through a lot of his money already in just these three years..

 

 

((((((((((CN))))))))))) I've seen bits and pieces of your story here and there and it just hurts me that you had to go through all of this, especially at your kids baseball game...with all of the infidelity I experienced I never felt I got dishonored.

[GreenEyedLady]

I'm just floored why anyone would even do this.

 

My H would have **** bricks if I showed up at an event. And I don't blame him. That is stalkerish.

 

I equate it to being on the outside. I am not on the outside, will never accept being on the outside. To have done such a thing would be cementing that I am on the outside.

 

Plus, I have enough events to attend that include MY OWN CHILDREN.

 

I think it boils down to priorities and self-esteem.

 

GEL

[MizFit]

Actually at most kids sporting events there is a lack of interaction with the husband and wife. The men all are talking the sport and puffing their chests out to each other about the great play the kid made or what have you while the women are happpily watching cheering and chatting together about other things. Husbands and wives spend a lot of alone time together and sporting events are a social thing where they both have fun socializing with everyone not cuddled up to one another. Then when they get home they happily talk about how great their child played and how this guy said this and oh this woman said this and they share happy gossip with one aother from their seperate conversations cuddled together sharing an intimacy of their shared event with different aspects of it for each of them.

 

I absolutely agree with you. My son is a professional athlete and been playing sports since he was 4...I am well aware of the interactions of spouses during such events. This situation was a bit different and, as I made a point to say very specifically in my first post, the intention of attending was so I could understand some of the reasons MM would not leave home. They have to do with the child in the event. As an aside I said it was interesting to see that all I'd heard and gathered was pretty well spot on. You need to remember my MM has never said he and W aren't close and that they don't have sex...he has never said a bad word about her or that they hate each other. I wasn't looking for either of them to throw flames from their eyes or cause a spectacle...from the other side of the stadium I could see little of them and in all fairness 'they' weren't the reason I was there.

[jthorne]

Turnstone, she IS psychotic. He didn't go back to her. They got divorced. I respect the fact that you may not have been the "evil" wife. But she is. You have no business mocking me.

 

Seriously, you have no idea the hell this b*tch has put me through, her kids through, and her xH. She is much like OWoman's H's xW. And I think I have every right to be angry given what she pulled, and what he pulled. But you really have no business judging me.

This is totally OT, but I felt the need to comment.

BL- I have always tried to support you. However, she was his wife. You weren't. It's well within her right to try to keep her husband, and even try to get him back once divorced. Yes, she is, from what you have written, a very troubled and very dysfunctional woman.

 

So what does that make her H for continuing to fall for her crap? And you for continuing to fall for his crap?

 

I am not mocking or judging you. But I won't stand and let it pass while you blame everything all on her. He certainly deserves his share. I'm sure you know that, but your posts above certainly don't reflect it.

[jthorne]

 

I think it boils down to priorities and self-esteem.

 

GEL

Amen.

Plus, if a person feels they have to go somewhere to check up on someone, to verify their life is what they say it is, doesn't that say something??

[greengoddess]

I absolutely agree with you. My son is a professional athlete and been playing sports since he was 4...I am well aware of the interactions of spouses during such events. This situation was a bit different and, as I made a point to say very specifically in my first post, the intention of attending was so I could understand some of the reasons MM would not leave home. They have to do with the child in the event. As an aside I said it was interesting to see that all I'd heard and gathered was pretty well spot on. You need to remember my MM has never said he and W aren't close and that they don't have sex...he has never said a bad word about her or that they hate each other. I wasn't looking for either of them to throw flames from their eyes or cause a spectacle...from the other side of the stadium I could see little of them and in all fairness 'they' weren't the reason I was there.

 

What he can't leave his wife because his kid is a good athlete? Because he coaches? The kid will still be athletic and he can still coach if he divorces his wife. He doesn't want to. He wants his happy family and his girlfriend to boost his ego and tell him what a great person and dad he is when his wife is telling him to put out the trash.

[OWoman]

From the thread that got deleted yesterday I gather much of what OWoman posts is fiction from her blog.

 

I was alerted to that thread, but unable to log in, so I couldn't comment on it, and didn't get to see whatever posts this might be referring to, but I'm as mystified as anyone else as to what "fiction" I've been posting on LS.

 

If Susmay or anyone else can enighten me, I'd be grateful

[2sure]

Sometimes MM that want OW to attend the same events he attends with his wife...its just because he really enjoys the idea of having both right there under each other's noses , it makes him feel clever.

[Spark1111]

Well, she didn't attend a sporting event that I am aware of....

 

However she did try to ingratiate herself with one of my daughter's at fWS's workplace. (They were co-workers.)

 

But she did attend, uninvited by him, his father's funeral where the other two children were introduced to her.

 

Guess what? It back-fired big time. They hate her, now that they can put a face to the name; hate that she attended the funeral; hate that she tried so hard to ingratiate the one daughter who worked for her father as their EA was deepening.

 

Also, the day she showed up at the funeral, my fWS WENT OUT OF HIS WAY to avoid talking or speaking with me. Guess he had to convince her we didn't have a decent marriage. (we did)

 

Don't go. It can only back-fire on you. Make you the villain if there is a DDAY. And he will, by design, try to make all his lies to you regarding the marriage seem true. He will posture for the afternoon.

 

Want to see their marriage? Observe it when no one knows you may be looking.

[turnstone]

I was alerted to that thread, but unable to log in, so I couldn't comment on it, and didn't get to see whatever posts this might be referring to, but I'm as mystified as anyone else as to what "fiction" I've been posting on LS.

 

If Susmay or anyone else can enighten me, I'd be grateful

 

Couldn't log into LS? You don't need to log in to be able to read the Infidelity board.

[OWoman]

I was alerted to that thread, but unable to log in, so I couldn't comment on it, and didn't get to see whatever posts this might be referring to, but I'm as mystified as anyone else as to what "fiction" I've been posting on LS.

 

If Susmay or anyone else can enighten me, I'd be grateful

 

Couldn't log into LS? You don't need to log in to be able to read the Infidelity board.

 

No - but you do need to log in to comment. As I stated in my post.

 

I also did not see any posts that the post I quoted in my post (above) may have referred to, and the thread has since been removed so I'm none the wiser.

 

I'm not sure what light a comment about being able to read LS without logging in sheds on the matter of the alleged fictional posts on LS, but if anyone who has a clue - such as the person who made the allegation - could enlighten the rest of us, I'm sure we'd be duly grateful.

 

Sorry for prolonging the t/j.

[bananalaffytaffy]

Sometimes MM that want OW to attend the same events he attends with his wife...its just because he really enjoys the idea of having both right there under each other's noses , it makes him feel clever.

Exactly. Why an OW would think they are special because they were asked to attend is beyond me. Edited June 17, 2010 by bananalaffytaffy

[MizFit]

What he can't leave his wife because his kid is a good athlete? Because he coaches? The kid will still be athletic and he can still coach if he divorces his wife. He doesn't want to. He wants his happy family and his girlfriend to boost his ego and tell him what a great person and dad he is when his wife is telling him to put out the trash.

 

Oh this is so inaccurate on so many levels. From the focus of the child to what you assume I say to him in our private moments...you are 99.9% wrong. I honestly don't need anyone to believe me, any more than I believe some of the other posters I read. I can only put forward the truth as I know it and anyone is welcome to mutate it to what they want it to be.

 

If you'd any further explanation of his situation feel free to PM me.

[MizFit]

Amen.

Plus, if a person feels they have to go somewhere to check up on someone, to verify their life is what they say it is, doesn't that say something??

 

Similar to how we treat our children when their stories don't quite sit right...similar to how a BS does just that when looking for evidence or is reconciling...similar to how bosses do when an employee isn't where they say they are once too often...we all do it...

[MizFit]

Exactly. Why an OW would think they are special because they were asked to attend is beyond me.

 

I've just had a quick look down through the posts and I don't see any OW who are saying they feel special because of it. I may be wrong and I am the first to admit I'm relying more on memory of reading this thread over the last few days so don't crucify me if someone has! I just don't recall anyone saying it...

[Fallen Angel]

If my sweetheart asked me to attend an event of one of his children I would expect to go as his guest. Not as an outsider sitting alone in an opposite bleacher watching his interaction, or lack thereof, with his wife.

 

To invite me and expect me to be witness to his "family-time" would be insulting. To be invited as his guest, to sit by his side and to interact with him would, on the otherhand, be more than acceptable to me; I would gladly attend.

 

My sweetheart attends school functions for my children, but he has already established a relationship with my children. I would think that some sort of private relationship between his children and myself would need to be established prior to me attending any public functions for or involving his children. That seems the more natural course of things.. is it not?

[Susmay]

I was alerted to that thread, but unable to log in, so I couldn't comment on it, and didn't get to see whatever posts this might be referring to, but I'm as mystified as anyone else as to what "fiction" I've been posting on LS.

 

If Susmay or anyone else can enighten me, I'd be grateful

 

OWoman I have received an infraction for my post and it was deleted for me expressing an opinion about you rather than sticking to facts. However a copy of it remains in your response.

 

I am happy to let you know what happened from my perspective, but the least you and your friends can do is not report me for it. After all you have publicly asked me to enlighten you. I will however stick to facts not opinion. So here is what happened.

 

1. Your profile until a couple of days ago had a link to your blog.

 

2. Somebody posted parts of your blog onto Loveshack and it generated some discussion, much of it not favorable to the blogger. As I recall Whiteflower said it was disgusting.

 

3. Somebody else then pointed out it was your blog and linked to your Loveshack profile.

 

4. Then the blog became password protected and the link in your Loveshack profile was removed - presumably you did both of these despite being unable to log in.

 

5. Jennie mentioned that the blog could still be viewed in the google cache.

 

6. The complete thread, which was on Infidelity was removed.

 

I won't post links to the blog and google cache publicly, but am willing to do so via PM; but if I get an infraction for this post I will probably lose my PM rights.

 

Please correct any facts that are incorrect as I have done the above from memory. It doesn't mean it's just opinion but it could mean what I believe to be facts are not.

Edited June 17, 2010 by Susmay

[OWoman]

OWoman I have received an infraction for my post and it was deleted for me expressing an opinion about you rather than sticking to facts. However a copy of it remains in your response.

 

I am happy to let you know what happened from my perspective, but the least you and your friends can do is not report me for it. After all you have publicly asked me to enlighten you. I will however stick to facts not opinion. So here is what happened.

 

1. Your profile until a couple of days ago had a link to your blog.

 

2. Somebody posted parts of your blog onto Loveshack and it generated some discussion, much of it not favorable to the blogger. As I recall Whiteflower said it was disgusting.

 

3. Somebody else then pointed out it was your blog and linked to your Loveshack profile.

 

4. Then the blog became password protected and the link in your Loveshack profile was removed - presumably you did both of these despite being unable to log in.

 

5. Jennie mentioned that the blog could still be viewed in the google cache.

 

6. The complete thread, which was on Infidelity was removed.

 

I won't post links to the blog and google cache publicly, but am willing to do so via PM; but if I get an infraction for this post I will probably lose my PM rights.

 

Please correct any facts that are incorrect as I have done the above from memory. It doesn't mean it's just opinion but it could mean what I believe to be facts are not.

 

Thanks - but what I was asking was something else. In your post I quoted below, you claimed that "much of what OWoman posts is fiction from her blog". I'd like to know what I've posted on LS that you - or anyone else - considers to be fiction.

 

Thanks