360 pounds - given up!

[Belle Vie]

GO ON YOUR WALK! respond to this and tell me about how you took a walk. Enjoy the walk, clear you mind and reflect on things. Observe whats going on outside while you take your walk.... GO ON YOUR WALK TODAY! It doesn't matter what you did in the past or will do tommorow but here in the now you need to go on your walk it will only take 20-30 minutes out of your day to take this walk and the effects will be two fold. FIRST your going to burn cals on the walk SECOND you will build muscle THIRD its good for your heart/lungs FINALY your going to rev up your matabolism... it will make a HUGE difference. YOU CAN FIT IT INTO YOUR DAY and ENJOY IT. DO IT NOW IF YOU HAVN"T DONE IT YET JUST DO IT AND COME BAcK AND TELL US. DON"T RESPOND TILL YOU'VE DONE IT>>> JUST GO NOW! NOW!

 

 

Yes! SW, you don't need to think about another thing except this one walk. Forget the weight. Forget the hypoinsulinism. Forget everything else except making just this one decision, today. What's 20 minutes? It's such a small amount of time, but it's such a great choice! Go for that single 20-minute walk and tell us about it when you get back!

[Peaceful Guy]

..it restricts my life to an enormous degree... How can I motivate myself?

 

well, that should be motivation enough. i think if you fight to get back into the activities you enjoy there will be a natural progression there.

[Sussexwoman]

kassy: I think it is interesting that you have chosen to disregard my last post and sad and confuseds last post

I do not disreagard anything. I read them here, and I think about them when I am away from the computer.

 

"If you want to actually take on board some of the things people are suggesting then that is great, but at the moment you seem content to just defend your position"

I didn't come here for diet or exercise advice, I would get that ANYWHERE on the internet.

 

In fact, I have wasted a LOT of time on here writing and replying to postings about diet and exercise advice. As you're all now showing utter hatred towards me now, I am going to join a different problem forum and re-pose my question in a different way, making clear that I am not looking for diet or exercise advice.

"I have absolutely no idea what you came on this forum to do as it doesn't appear that you have any inclination to change a single thing in your life."

 

If I could just start exercising and dieting, I would have had no need whatsoever to come in this forum. Surely you have the brains to see that?

 

"Also you don't think your weight affects anyone but yourself... seriously!!"

It doesn't. I really doesn't. What makes you think it does? I have no dependents, etc.

 

"The fact that you can't ride a motor bike with your boyfriend, you don't think that makes him sad?"

 

Not it definitely does not. I'm not licensed or insured to ride his bikes out on a public road anyway. My "riding" would only be around a car park or private roads. He only takes his out now and again, he has no hankering for us to take out two bikes together.

 

"You can't walk more than 500m... so yeah that has to effect the way your entire life is lived and as a consequence how others have to act around you."

 

It really doesn't affect others. I spend 80% of my time alone, anyway.

 

"Add to that they are forced to watch you slowly kill yourself"

 

They don't think of it that way. Boyfriends etc happy to take me out for a meal, buy me chocolate.

[Sussexwoman]

SadandConfused For your blood sugar to even out you really only need say a cereal bar or few dried apricots.

 

Despite the fact that I have already said I never eat wheat, cereal, fruit etc. Dried fruit is almost pure bloody sugar why the hell would I want to eat that?

 

"You should try taking more responsibility and control of your life"

 

I came on here to try to learn how to do that.

 

Now I am getting abuse for needing help.

[Sussexwoman]

GO ON YOUR WALK! ... it will only take 20-30 minutes

 

I was supposed to go to water aerobics today but the person who was taking me to the class (that started at 8.30) has failed to get out of bed and still hasn't so I have missed the class.

 

Would 30 minutes walking around the supermarket count? I'm out of catfood and other stuff, so we need to go today. Friend can drive me there, and would be about 20-30 mins walking around.

 

Or do you mean, go out into the fresh air and walk along the seafront? We could do that later ....

[Sussexwoman]

"pandagirl" said

 

Anyway, the point is -- I think you know what you have to do to lose weight. But your emotional and intellectual parts aren't matching up. You *understand* how to lose weight, but something isn't clicking for you.

At LAST !! Someone who REALLY, TRULY GETS ME!

 

Yes pandagirl you have correctly diagnosed my problem! Yes yes yes! I know what to do, but I find myself just not doing it. I have everything to live for, yet appear to be on a suicide mission!

 

"this is all pretty obvious information, right?"

 

RIGHT!

 

"You know these stuff already, so that begs the question, what is stopping you?"

 

YES YES YES that IS the question!

 

"You say you're happy, which is great! But part of you must be really sad that you are very overweight. To try over and over again to lose weight and not be successful, must feel like a huge failure."

 

Yes it does. The only way I can cope with the failure is to spend a lot of time sitting down because then I do not notice I am so heavy or fat.

 

"Let me ask you a question: do you think you deserve to lose weight and be happy?"

 

Yikes. That is a HARD question. No instant answer is popping into my brain as yet.I will have to spend some time mulling on this, starting by defining terms (like what does deserve actually mean and what does happy mean?)

 

I suppose you could say I "deserve" to be this weight because I've overeaten. The chronic overindulgence has given me the body I "deserve".

 

Do I deserve to be happy?

Does any of us "deserve" anything?

 

Gosh this is really really hard. I will spend time offline thinking about this....

[Sussexwoman]

Belle Vie

 

"You've obviously gotten a lot of responses to your original post. Now that you're read them all, I was curious: What WOULD you like from us on this forum?"

 

Maybe someone was once in my position and somehow managed to change? Some insight into why I go on overeating even though it is clearly ruining my life, even though I'd feel better, happier, fitter, sexier, more feminine, more in control, if I lost even SOME weight.

 

"you're making conscious choices to eat more than you know you should and exercise not at all."

 

I know! It's MENTAL.

 

"If you prefer health to your current situation, however, tell us: What ONE thing in your life are you willing to change today?"

 

To go for a walk down to the seafront and back. It's about 1000 metres, and uphill all the way back. And could walk a little way along the front. Or try to get all round the supermarket without buying chocolate (the mere thought of that has brought tears of fear into my eyes -- no chocolate today? Cannot cope with even the thought of that!)

 

"Or, vow to leave just THREE BITES of food on your plate at each meal. Three bites--that's not too much too give up is it?"

 

That sounds REALLY hard. 16 years of my parents forcing me to eat every last thing on my plate.

 

"You can do just one of these small things, can't you?"

 

I think I can for today. But a part of me says, what's the use, you'll only go back to your old ways tomorrow.

 

I have absolutely NO faith in myself. None at all. I do not BELIEVE that I can keep it up day after day.

 

"We'll cheer you on each day you achieve in sustaining it. We'll tell you to get back to it if you falter."

 

That is SO SWEET OF YOU! You've touched my heart and brought tears into my eyes.

 

"Remember, your goal is no longer to lose the weight. Your goal is to make just one small change in your life. Tiny. Hardly even notice it. So what change will you make? Tell us, right now. And tell us what you'd like from US to help you make it."

 

One thing that occurs: I could go swimming Monday (tomorrow) morning. Taxi there, taxi back, but do one hour stretching and aerobics and lengths. I even have my own aquafit weights (barbells) in a locker at the pool. I bought them because those at the pool are too easy and light for me (I have strong arm muscles!) I made the investment and now I don't use them - stupid! I love being in the water (Cancerian!) and I love the way I feel after a workout. Every incentive is there, yet I have given up going.

 

OK so I could promise to go to the pool tomorrow morning. Then after that maybe I could promise to go the next day.

 

Actually, I used to find that after the workout, I sometimes could walk the mile home, because my back and legs feel so loose (and not stiff).

 

So what about, I will walk around the supermarket today 20 mins. I will take a taxi to the pool, do an hour then WALK a mile home?

 

That is my pledge.

 

"And tell us what you'd like from US to help you make it."

 

I really don't know what you can do other than to be positive. The negative, attacking postings on here make me feel even more disgusted with myself, hopeless, embarrassed and a failure.

 

One of the things that OUGHT to help me is remembering what I have achieved in the past, like:

 

• gave up smoking cannabis
  
• gave up smoking cigarettes (my boyfriend can't - but I have!)
  
• gave up chocolate (at least five times for long periods)
  
• gave up drinking coffee and (almost entirely) gave up regular tea
  
• gave up sugar and white flour for 18 months 2000-2001
  
• gave up all carbs for 5 months, only last year
  
• gave up wheat, rice, pasta, cereals, milk, fruit and juice
  
• studied part time while working and got a BSc degree
  
• was a pioneer for women in my profession
  
• have won awards for my current work
  

I have to keep reminding myself that I -- yes, I -- am the same person who achieved all those things! Those things take huge strength and determination. I know LOADS of people who try and try and cannot stop smoking, yet I have done it, after smoking for 14 years.

 

Like some of the posters on here, I cannot understand why THEY cannot simply stop smoking. It's illogical - they know all the risks, yet they keep on buying them and lighting them and inhaling them. How stupid is that?

 

Even the man I am besotted with smokes. My closest female friend smokes. Both of them are highly intelligent, university-educated (one has an MA the other a BSc), cultured, thoughtful, intellectual, level-headed, highly-regarded professionals in their own specialist careers. Yet they smoke!!

 

Aren't they just the same as me, except the actual thing they do happens to be different?

[Taramere]

SW...the general impression I'm getting is that you're not entirely sure how much you eat. I noticed one post where you said you'd been keeping a food tracker, but don't tend to stick to recording everything rigidly:

 

I have an account with Fitday which also tracks everything you eat. I input my food for a few days, but never seem to be able to keep it up because I keep forgetting to input and when I get round to remembering, I forget what I've eaten.

 

It's absolutely vital that you know what your average daily calorie consumption is. If you fail to record everything you eat, you're cheating yourself really. You like cakes and you like chocolate. I know that personally, I can eat a chocolate biscuit while I'm having a cup of coffee and barely notice it...yet that'll be maybe a couple of hundred calories...or somewhere in the region of one tenth of my daily allowance if I'm to maintain my weight. If it's something like chocolate digestives you can easily down two or three of them with one cup of coffee....but they're loaded with calories.

 

If you were to be brutally honest with yourself about recording your food intake, I think you'd probably find that your average daily intake is in the region of 4,500 to 5000 calories a day. I say that because you weight 350 pounds. You need 15 calories per pound every day to maintain that daily weight. Unless you have a medical condition that doctors have failed to identify, you could cut down to 3,000 calories per day at your size and still be losing weight.

Edited May 9, 2010 by Taramere

[Sussexwoman]

Taramere

 

"I think you'd probably find that your average daily intake is in the region of 4,500 to 5000 calories a day."

 

With all due respect, Taramere, and acknowledging that your heart is in the right place, that is absolute and utter nonsense. I am perfectly certain that, even on my very "worst" days, I have not once reached even 4,500.

 

What on earth do you think I am eating each day? My mind boggles!

 

I do not buy biscuits and cakes, they simply aren't in the house. Wheat is so bad for me, I just have to avoid it for most of the time. A few times a year I might go mad and buy something like that, then I eat it and it's gone. I don't share my kitchen with others, and I don't buy biscuits etc for guests.

 

I input to Fitday for five months last year, long enough to get an excellent "feel" of how many calories are in my usual meals. Added to that 33 yrs of various types of dieting, during which time I learned the calorie count of just about every foodstuff on earth.

 

I only eat two meals a day, and on a bad day I have a bar of chocolate, and on a (rare) appallingly bad day, maybe two small bags of crisps as well. That would add up maybe to 3,000. At my very worst I might have a pizza or a chinese takeaway meal three or four times a YEAR. Now, that might come to 4,000, but rarely; my everyday food adds up to about 2,000 a day, give or take 200 each way.

 

For example, so far today I have had (brunch) a bowl of fresh salad with two pots of prawn cocktail on top of it. Total calories, around 500. Dinner will be 8oz roast pork with brussels sprouts, even with some crackling it will be about 1,000 calories. Other than that, I'm drinking just calorie-free fruit tea. Total for day, around 1,500. Even if I was bad and added the largest available bar of chocolate to that -- say 100g of Galaxy @ 503 calories --- that is still only 2,000.

 

"you could cut down to 3,000 calories per day at your size and still be losing weight."

 

Nope.

 

According to Fitday, my daily requirements to maintain weight is 2,800 if I take no exercise. Yet I have kept to 2,000, done water aerobics plus a mile walk 3 x week, and still lost nothing. Under 2,000 and I feel weak, giddy, etc.

 

Of course you know that "calories-in, calories-out" theory has been completely debunked by millions of Atkins dieters, also Gary Taubes, Dr Barry Groves and Zoe Harcombe?

 

On the fat-and-meat-only diet I did last year, calories were unlimited. The regime was to eat as much fat as possible, about 80% of total calorie intake was from fat. I was eating about 2,500 to 3,000 a day, and I lost 14lb in 5 months, though regained 3lb in the final week (I then gave up). More calories, yet it's the only weight loss I've ever experienced. So I am pretty sceptical these days about "calories-in, calories-out" theory.

 

The fat and meat regime worked really well for me. Without dairy my sinuses were clearer, I felt full and satisfied most of the time, my appetite was blunted, my triglycerides were down to 0.9, my good cholesterol was up and my bad was down and my blood pressure dropped. My body's reaction to the diet was such that it was telling me it was thriving on that diet, my real problem is, why can't I keep to it? Why do I go off it?

 

We went shopping and I now have a freezer full of meat.

 

I am going to make a concerted effort to get right off the carbs once again, plus add swimming.

 

STARTING TOMORROW!

Edited May 9, 2010 by Sussexwoman

[Arabella]

Of course you know that "calories-in, calories-out" theory has been completely debunked by millions of Atkins dieters, also Gary Taubes, Dr Barry Groves and Zoe Harcombe?

 

On the fat-and-meat-only diet I did last year, calories were unlimited. The regime was to eat as much fat as possible, about 80% of total calorie intake was from fat. I was eating about 2,500 to 3,000 a day, and I lost 14lb in 5 months, though regained 3lb in the final week (I then gave up). More calories, yet it's the only weight loss I've ever experienced. So I am pretty sceptical these days about "calories-in, calories-out" theory.

 

However skeptical you may be, the fact is, your current diets haven't allowed you to lose weight and keep it off.

 

As someone who used to be slightly smaller than you (335 lbs when I began), I can tell you that dieting is ALL about "calories-in, calories-out". 140 lbs lost and kept off over two years prove it.

 

Doing your diet, you lost 14 lbs in 5 months.... and you regained 3 lbs in a week somehow. Someone as big as you are, doing a successful diet and some light exercise, could easily be dropping 10 lbs A MONTH without much effort until you hit the mid 200s.

 

Curious how I did it? Carbs and exercise.

 

This morning I just ate a 350 calorie bagel with about 50 calories worth of cream cheese for breakfast. In a couple of hours, I'm going to go swim and burn about 600 calories. Assuming this was the only meal I have today (which will not be), I would STILL lose weight. I know this because last week alone, I lost 2 lbs and I ate a bagel every single morning.

 

Carbs are not evil. So long as you steer clear of pastries, chocolate, candy, etc, they're FINE. They're a very good source of energy for your body.

 

I understand you have no reason to believe that this is true, however... consider this: whatever you're doing, IS NOT working. Why not try a different dietary approach, in addition to the exercise?

 

 

Arabella

Edited May 9, 2010 by Arabella
spelling

[Belle Vie]

I am going to make a concerted effort to get right off the carbs once again, plus add swimming.

 

STARTING TOMORROW!

 

That is awesome, SW! Let us know how it went!

 

And, remember, it's time to shift your focus OFF losing weight. Just don't think about it. It doesn't matter what happened yesterday or last year, and it doesn't matter what happens tomorrow. Think only about the choice you'll make this moment. If it's time to go swim, make the choice, in that moment: "I'm going to swim." If you're thinking about the seafront, just make the choice: "I'm going to walk toward the seafront....it doesn't matter if I don't make it there today. I'm going to take steps and walk as far as I can today, and enjoy the air as I go."

 

If you're going to eat that chocolate bar, make it a CONSCIOUS choice, for that moment. Heck, take it outside with a glass of red wine, and savor every single moment of it. Or, even better, go enjoy it at the seafront, even if you drive there. Eventually, walk there to have it. Make that chocolate bar COUNT.

 

Because getting healthy isn't about years and years, or the next week or even tomororow, SW. It's about the conscious choice you make in this moment only. Everything else doesn't exist.

 

Then, the choices you make "this moment" will then build on themselves, and before you know it, you're living an active, healthy life--and if you're doing that, it doesn't MATTER how much you weigh.

Edited May 9, 2010 by Belle Vie

[Jilly Bean]

If you were to be brutally honest with yourself...you'd probably find that your average daily intake is in the region of 4,500 to 5000 calories a day. I say that because you weight 350 pounds.

 

+1.

 

Obese people notoriously under-report their actual eating out of shame, embarassment, etc. There is no way you end up being 350 pounds and staying there, unless you are consuming massive amounts of food.

 

On Discovery Health, whenever they do shows on the morbidly obese, the people who are 600 pounds plus, eat close to 12,000 calories a day. So, for someone her size, easily 4-5k calories sounds right.

 

OP - why not consider gastric bypass surgery? You don't seem to be apt to exercise, or watch your diet properly...

[Taramere]

Taramere

 

"I think you'd probably find that your average daily intake is in the region of 4,500 to 5000 calories a day."

 

With all due respect, Taramere, and acknowledging that your heart is in the right place, that is absolute and utter nonsense. I am perfectly certain that, even on my very "worst" days, I have not once reached even 4,500.

 

What on earth do you think I am eating each day? My mind boggles....Of course you know that "calories-in, calories-out" theory has been completely debunked by millions of Atkins dieters, also Gary Taubes, Dr Barry Groves and Zoe Harcombe?

 

I weigh 130 pounds, and honestly...there are plenty of days I eat around 3000 calories. Dinner out, for instance. A salad starter with dressing, croutons and melted goat's cheese on top of them (a favourite of mine) - probably around 300. Main course...whatever it is, it's probably safe to say it'll be at least 600 calories. Dessert - even just sorbet is 150 calories. Then coffee with a little chocolate sweet...another 80. Oh, and a couple of glasses of wine - add on another 300. That's around 1400 just for dinner.

 

Do I starve myself all day if I'm going out for dinner. No. Breakfast - bagel with a bit of butter on it...300 calories. Couple of glasses of orange juice...160 calories. Lunch - say I have a Boots meal deal, that's maybe 450 calories all in. So add in the dinner and that's 2,600 calories. At some point in the day I'll have coffee with a biscuit, so that's another 100.

 

I like fruit, and will probably have maybe four pieces in a day...which pretty much brings the calorie count on a day that includes dinner out right up to 3,000. That's hardly a case of pigging out like Elvis - who allegedly ate up to 85,000 calories a day. http://ezinearticles.com/?What-The-Death-Of-Elvis-Presley-Teaches-Us-About-Obesity&id=129660

 

In France, lots of people eat out every day (pretty affordable when 3 course meals plus wine is 13 euros). French women aren't necessarily all as svelte as they'd like to con us into believing, but if you walk round a supermarket in France, you'll see very few obese people.

 

How do they do it when they love all those rich creamy sauces, pain du chocolat etc? They keep the meal portions reasonably sized, and a lot of them won't eat between meals.

 

As for all the calories in calories out debunking that diet experts have done...if someone wants to sell a book about dieting and they want to make a killing from it, the best way to do that would be to tell people who are overweight two things that they really want to hear.

 

1. It's not actually your fault. Getting obese has nothing to do with over-eating

2. There is a miracle diet which is easy to follow, but far more complex to understand than the old fashioned, fuddy duddy "consume fewer calories and exercise more" approach.

 

 

Obese people notoriously under-report their actual eating out of shame, embarassment, etc. There is no way you end up being 350 pounds and staying there, unless you are consuming massive amounts of food.

 

Exactly, but I think when people are locked into the guilt and shame thing it makes it harder for them to assess realistically what they're eating. Also that "I don't even remember eating that chocolate bar" snacking between meals thing...whereby a person doesn't even really enjoy the thing they're eating, because it's just mindless consumption while they're doing something else.

 

I was surprised that SW thinks 4,500 to 5,000 is such a colossal amount that no normal human being could do it. If you think about my Indulgence Day where wine and a three course meal bumps a reasonable day's eating up to 3,000 calories. A couple of snickers bars on top of that, and the day's count would be heading towards 4,000.

 

I'm pretty sure that if I were determined to bring my calorie intake for the day up to that figure, I'd be able to do it without too much trouble. The very fact that SW is expressing disbelief at the notion of anyone eating 4,500 to 5,000 calories in a day suggests to me that she might not currently be realistic about the number of calories there are in the portions she's eating.

[norajane]

There's a lot of "I can't be bothered" in your posts. You can't be bothered to exercise because it's boring. You can't be bothered to walk because it's difficult. You can't be bothered to go to the gym. You can't be bothered to swim because no one will go with you. You can't be bothered to keep a food diary. You can't be bothered to shrink your stomach by stopping eating before you are FULL because you like the really full feeling. You can't be bothered to buy the better alternative of small bars of dark chocolate because you're picky about the chocolate you like.

 

All that adds up to you can't be bothered to do the work to lose weight. You're looking for advice that doesn't exist. You can't obsess over food and expect to lose weight without bothering to figure out why you are so set on sabotaging yourself.

 

I agree that you don't need a nutritionist - you need a therapist to help you understand why food and being and staying fat has become so important to you that you hold onto it for dear life despite having a bf you're crazy about and who accepts you for who you are, despite having a job that allows you to work from home and make the most of your free time, despite having free health care to assist you with your insulin problem. What happened to you all those years ago that you started covering up with food and fat? Focus on that and you'll figure out why you are so desperate to hold onto your protective poundage.

[cuppa]

Taramere

 

"I think you'd probably find that your average daily intake is in the region of 4,500 to 5000 calories a day."

 

With all due respect, Taramere, and acknowledging that your heart is in the right place, that is absolute and utter nonsense. I am perfectly certain that, even on my very "worst" days, I have not once reached even 4,500.

 

What on earth do you think I am eating each day? My mind boggles!

 

I do not buy biscuits and cakes, they simply aren't in the house. Wheat is so bad for me, I just have to avoid it for most of the time. A few times a year I might go mad and buy something like that, then I eat it and it's gone. I don't share my kitchen with others, and I don't buy biscuits etc for guests.

 

I input to Fitday for five months last year, long enough to get an excellent "feel" of how many calories are in my usual meals. Added to that 33 yrs of various types of dieting, during which time I learned the calorie count of just about every foodstuff on earth.

 

I only eat two meals a day, and on a bad day I have a bar of chocolate, and on a (rare) appallingly bad day, maybe two small bags of crisps as well. That would add up maybe to 3,000. At my very worst I might have a pizza or a chinese takeaway meal three or four times a YEAR. Now, that might come to 4,000, but rarely; my everyday food adds up to about 2,000 a day, give or take 200 each way.

 

Obviously, the fact that you are very candid in this post is a step in the right direction. At least, you are here to make a positive change in your life.

 

Having said this, I still find it hard to believe that you eat 2000 calories a day on average and your weight tip north 350Lbs+. If you don't mind me asking,how tall are you?

 

I also don't understand the obsession with Atkins, SouthBeach and all kind of diets out there. How could it be healthy to eat 3 - 6 porkchops a day, no vegetables, no fruits?

 

I eat carbs, not all carbs are bad for you and most people eat carbs everyday and they have a healthy body. Why not just try to eat smaller portion, more often, and balanced (40 protein, 40 carbs, 20 fat)?

 

Even in your post, you said in a bad day, you have 1 bar of chocolate, but in the post that you respond to me, you said you don't remember if you have one or two. In another post, you said you finish the whole bag of small chocolates (which is more than 2 bar of chocolates).

 

You only need to be accountable for yourself, not us. I really want you to jot down objectively and remember all your food and objectively assess whether you truly only eat 2000 cals a day on average.

[Green]

I was supposed to go to water aerobics today but the person who was taking me to the class (that started at 8.30) has failed to get out of bed and still hasn't so I have missed the class.

 

Would 30 minutes walking around the supermarket count? I'm out of catfood and other stuff, so we need to go today. Friend can drive me there, and would be about 20-30 mins walking around.

 

Or do you mean, go out into the fresh air and walk along the seafront? We could do that later ....

 

Try water arobics out but really you need to find something you enjoy. So unless you end up enjoying I would just try the walking thing out.

 

20-30 minutes in the supermarket is better then nothing but to be HONEST it is not the same as CONTINUOUS EXERCISE. There is a lot of stop and go at supermarket. You need to take a walk where you can mostly keep walking and moving for 20-30 minutes it doesn't have to be at a seafront... probably best if its something simple like just around your neighborhood or a local shoping mall or something. DO IT TODAY TAKE YOUR WALK ITS A BIG STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

[cuppa]

However skeptical you may be, the fact is, your current diets haven't allowed you to lose weight and keep it off.

 

As someone who used to be slightly smaller than you (335 lbs when I began), I can tell you that dieting is ALL about "calories-in, calories-out". 140 lbs lost and kept off over two years prove it.

 

Doing your diet, you lost 14 lbs in 5 months.... and you regained 3 lbs in a week somehow. Someone as big as you are, doing a successful diet and some light exercise, could easily be dropping 10 lbs A MONTH without much effort until you hit the mid 200s.

 

Curious how I did it? Carbs and exercise.

 

This morning I just ate a 350 calorie bagel with about 50 calories worth of cream cheese for breakfast. In a couple of hours, I'm going to go swim and burn about 600 calories. Assuming this was the only meal I have today (which will not be), I would STILL lose weight. I know this because last week alone, I lost 2 lbs and I ate a bagel every single morning.

 

Carbs are not evil. So long as you steer clear of pastries, chocolate, candy, etc, they're FINE. They're a very good source of energy for your body.

 

I understand you have no reason to believe that this is true, however... consider this: whatever you're doing, IS NOT working. Why not try a different dietary approach, in addition to the exercise?

 

 

Arabella

 

Congrats Arabella. I hope OP listens to your advice as many have expressed in this thread.

[norajane]

This morning I just ate a 350 calorie bagel with about 50 calories worth of cream cheese for breakfast. In a couple of hours, I'm going to go swim and burn about 600 calories. Assuming this was the only meal I have today (which will not be), I would STILL lose weight. I know this because last week alone, I lost 2 lbs and I ate a bagel every single morning.

 

In her second post she said she has hyperinsulemia combined with hypoglycemia - both present in people with type II diabetes. Carbs and sugar are not her friend - her body can't deal with them properly.

[pandagirl]

 

"Let me ask you a question: do you think you deserve to lose weight and be happy?"

 

Yikes. That is a HARD question. No instant answer is popping into my brain as yet.I will have to spend some time mulling on this, starting by defining terms (like what does deserve actually mean and what does happy mean?)

 

I suppose you could say I "deserve" to be this weight because I've overeaten. The chronic overindulgence has given me the body I "deserve".

 

Do I deserve to be happy?

Does any of us "deserve" anything?

 

Gosh this is really really hard. I will spend time offline thinking about this....

 

I am no psychologist, but I've found when you feel bad about yourself -- even if you can't pinpoint the exact reason -- you will sabotage yourself, so you can't achieve success.

 

It's easier to stay the same rather than change. Change takes effort and courage and determination. For you to change and to lose to weight, you will really have to change your life -- the way you feel about yourself, your relationship with food, caring about your health, etc. This is no mere, "I want to look hot in a bikini" diet.

 

You have a lot of weight to lose, and I'm sure it's quite over-whelming. For most of us, even losing 10 lbs is a difficult process. I think some people who are thin or average don't really understand how someone can let themselves get to such a weight. I don't think it has to do with actually liking to eat -- it's emotional.

 

Take a look at that Heidi Montag who got all that plastic surgery and thinks she looks better, when we can all see she looks completely weird. That came from being insecure and having low self-esteem, like she's hiding behind something. Or a woman who stays in a relationship with an abusive boyfriend -- she's not happy and knows it's wrong, but can't get out of the situation.

 

Anywho, bottom line is, if you feel good about yourself, you do good things for yourself: you go for that raise or promotion, you break up with your crappy boyfriend, etc. So, why haven't you been serious -- and I mean SERIOUS -- about getting healthy?

[Arabella]

In her second post she said she has hyperinsulemia combined with hypoglycemia - both present in people with type II diabetes. Carbs and sugar are not her friend - her body can't deal with them properly.

 

Alright, but the fact remains that if she was really eating the 2000 calories/day that she claims to eat, she would not weigh 360 lbs, period.

 

The only things that could be causing this are:

 

a) She's really eating more than she admits.

b) She does not know the actual caloric counts of the portion size she eats.

c) There is an undiagnosed medical condition making it impossible for her to lose weight.

 

Given that "c" has already been ruled out... what does that leave? Hmm... yeah, that's what I thought.

 

Time to try something different. She may not be able to eat a lot of carbs but eating two pork chops for dinner isn't helping her either. A more balanced diet instead of all these fads she's into, might just do the trick.

 

 

Arabella

[SadandConfusedWA]

Even with her condition, eating complex carbs that are low GI is OK. I think that she is overdoing it on avoiding carbs completly. Carbs are healthy, just not carbs that you find in sugar and alcohol.

 

Also co-sign me on that there is no way she is eating 2000 calories a day. NO WAY. And it is all about calories in/calories out. Dress it up any way you like but it's a simple law of physics and it is what it all comes down to. Even with high protein diets such as The Zone and Atkins, where they tell you that you can eat as much as you want as long as it's protein and fat, they are actually counting on the fact that protein/fat diets are appetite supressants so you end up consuming less calories in a day hence the weight loss. There is no magic formula and high protein diets are bad for your body in the long term (for one they cause kidney damage).

 

I did a calculation and your BMR is 2800 calories if you were to lie in bed all day. If you were to consume 2000 calories, the weight would have been falling of you. Something doesn't add up.

[norajane]

Alright, but the fact remains that if she was really eating the 2000 calories/day that she claims to eat, she would not weigh 360 lbs, period.

 

Agreed. And I think her metabolism is at rock bottom at this point. She's sitting in front of the computer working from home all day, and then she's sitting in front of it surfing the internet at night. She's only eating two meals a day, which means she's allowing herself to get very hungry and then eating until she feels really full (stuffed with food to fill whatever emotional void she's filling with food). Eating until you're stuffed is too much food, too big portions.

 

Even with her condition, eating complex carbs that are low GI is OK. I think that she is overdoing it on avoiding carbs completly. Carbs are healthy, just not carbs that you find in sugar and alcohol.

 

Also co-sign me on that there is no way she is eating 2000 calories a day. NO WAY. And it is all about calories in/calories out. Dress it up any way you like but it's a simple law of physics and it is what it all comes down to. Even with high protein diets such as The Zone and Atkins, where they tell you that you can eat as much as you want as long as it's protein and fat, they are actually counting on the fact that protein/fat diets are appetite supressants so you end up consuming less calories in a day hence the weight loss. There is no magic formula and high protein diets are bad for your body in the long term (for one they cause kidney damage).

 

I did a calculation and your BMR is 2800 calories if you were to lie in bed all day. If you were to consume 2000 calories, the weight would have been falling of you. Something doesn't add up.

 

I don't know about the Zone, but Atkins does allow for carbs after the initial two week period where it's drastic in order to get you off the carbs/sugar roller-coaster. As you said, there are low GI carbs (like the ones found in veggies and whole grains) that would be fine for her to eat. (Sussexwoman - that does not include sweet corn, which you mentioned you were eating!)

 

You're correct that those diets still end up being about calories in/calories out, but the high protein/higher fat/lower carb diets stabilize your blood sugar levels so you don't have that spike/sharp drop in blood sugar that makes you hungry, and the fat actually makes you feel fuller. Those diets are actually the recommended diets for diabetics, although of course, they don't bill them as Atkins or whatever. Doctors provided recommendations on gram of carbs, proteins, fats, and have them monitor their blood glucose after meals in order to remain in the safe zone.

 

The protein would help her build muscles if she were actually working out, which she's not. A little weight training wouldn't hurt because muscles increase metabolism, in addition to whatever light cardio she can handle at this point. But she's not doing much, so she probably has very little muscle tone.

[Belle Vie]

Let's not be overly judgemental here. (And by speaking about the original poster in the third person, it's as if she's not a part of the conversation!) At a certain weight, the body's chemistry changes, so it makes it harder to control one's appetite or plan meals in the best way. It also makes it harder to get past that "hungry" feeling, when the body is so used to taking in a certain amount of food.

 

SW, if I'm to be honest, I too believe that you may be eating more than you think and I do wish you were eating several small meals a day, rather than eating only two large meals (which has been proven to contribute to weight gain and slow metabolism). I also think that if you ate more frequent, smaller meals that were still high in protein, and rode out that "faint" feeling you describe just for a few days, your body would adjust and feel stronger more quickly than you think.

 

BUT I'm not going to question your accounting of your calories or tell you to change your choice of meal plan any more. You've chosen an approach that you like, and for now, I don't think you need to focus on changing it. I really don't think that's the true issue at the moment.

 

I'm going back to your last post, where you noted that you were going for a swim today. THAT'S what's important--it's important that you go for that swim. It's important that you take that walk you want to make so much to the beach. When you make a single choice like that--one that's in the direction you want to go--that's what counts for you.

 

Do you get the Style Network on television in the U.K.? (I'm assuming that's where you live, given your screen name and onscreen "accent" ) Here in the States, there's a television program called "Ruby" that's very popular, and you might find some inspiration there. It's a reality show that follows the weight loss and life of Ruby Gettinger, a 35-year-old woman who lives in Savannah, GA. She started off at 716 pounds, and when the show began last year, she had gotten down to about 390. She's now down to 320, and the show is continuing to follow her through her nutrition and exercise regimen, as well as her regular life with friends and family. It's usually on Sunday evenings here, although they replay it throughout the week.

 

Do you watch this show? (If not, would you be able to?) I think you'd find a lot to relate with in Ruby, and it might help you understand where you are even more.

 

Here's a link to the Ruby Web page:

 

http://www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/ruby/index.jsp

Edited May 9, 2010 by Belle Vie
To add Web link

[Zed]

Are you sure that your problem is the chocolate? Could you list out your daily meals/calorie intake here starting today so we can help you?

 

Why don't u start tracking your meals? There are a few websites out there, I used www.livestrong.com tracker. List out every meal that you eat throughout the day so we can help you.

 

I ate chocolate everyday last year, while it caused me so many problems (like restlessness, couldn't sleep, high sugar level, etc), I didn't gain significant weight (probably about 5 lbs). But I got depressed due to unhealthy diet. So perhaps, you might be at the same spot as I was last year.

 

You don't have to completely banish chocolate from your diet to get thinner, I still eat chocolate from time to time (ie: Trader Joe's dark chocolate, the whole bar is only 270 calories and low in sugar - and dark chocolate is anti oxidant so it's not all bad for your body),

 

Have to agree here and with everyone else. It’s about what you are actually eating. To get accountable—you should consider keeping a food journal that you can keep with you at all times. Writing down everything that you ea for a few days to 1 week—then once you become conscious that you have to account for what you are eating then you will become aware of the portions and the calories you are actually ingesting.

 

This often repeated technique, actually works as that is what has helped me to become truly conscious of what I was eating and it proved that I was overestimating portions and the level of sugar and fat that I consumed in my diet. Thinking that I was consuming 1600 calories a day –was really 2000-2500—way too much for my personal weight goals—when I should have been on a much lower caloric intake. Also consider the resources online such as WebMD as a good place to start your accountability journey: http://www.webmd.com/diet/calc-bmi-plus

 

Based on the information that you have given your BMI is very high and they do recommend 2000 calories plan in order to lose a reasonable 1 pound a week. That means being conscious of what you are eating. In addition, it provides a basic exercise plan that you can do to stay within your target heart rate. Walking and Weight management for endurance are your friends and your lending library and youtube are great places to compile a reasonable exercise program.

 

Nevertheless, consider the gastric surgeries which will force you to eat less since your weight makes you a candidate. In addition, a less invasive technique are doctor prescribed diet pills, under the care of your primary naturally not a pill mill—assuming that you don’t have serious heart problems. You can start on those for 1-2 months to assist you with appetite suppression, but you may also consider talk therapy as well for strategies and to explore underlying food issues.

 

Of course, there is no easy fix or diet that can make it go away in 1-3 months. As others have noted the very basic slogan of eat less and exercise more is really your most practical and sensible way to go.

[SpanksTheMonkey]

Hi op I haven't read every post but I'm fairly sure I get the jist of your situation from the ones Ive skimmed thu I honestly don't think any one is attacking you here!

 

If anything it looks like allot have taken the time to care and try to offer the best advice they can. To lose weight you must make a complete lifestyle change.

 

Ive seen a few excuses on your end just from what Ive read so what your ride bailed on you? OK walk instead I know its hard at 1st but believe me walking is a excellent low impact way to shed pounds!

 

Also go take a look at a documentary called fat head you can look it up on you tube I believe it makes allot of sense. It could very well be the amount of sugar your eating that is causing your main prob!

 

I use to be your size I still am a plus size women to this day but by cutting the amount of sugar I was eating drastically. Along with allot of walking Ive lost heaps of weight.

 

Stop making lame excuses and change your habits or learn to except yourself at 300 something pounds really its up to you at the end of the day!