troggleputty Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 By the way, I would TAKE the paternity test, get the result proving my faithfulness and shove it up his arse, and THEN kick him in it on his way out the door! You are WAY too defensive about this purely "hypothetical" scenario. And way too aggressive about what your reaction would be. And angry. You're hiding something Donnamaybe. Your emotional reaction is one of obvious guilt over something that you did in your relationship. What did you do? Link to post Share on other sites
troggleputty Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Pent up? Can't you tell I let it out?! And I would find out about anything like a paternity test. I'm THAT good. OK then. This implies that you monitor your spouse, and therefore, that you don't trust HIM. Again you have some serious issues. What are they? Link to post Share on other sites
troggleputty Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Basicaly this thread boils down to women being unhappy with anything other the blind faith. They treat having a baby like a religion and if I dare get a paternity test I'm going to hell. Yes. It's amazing how controlling women can be, when they spend all of their time venting and moaning about how men are supposedly the ones who are doing the controlling. Face it ladies. You have absolutely no say in the matter. EVERY MAN has the absolute legal right to have any alleged child of his, or any actual child of his, paternity-tested. IT IS PART OF THE MAN'S ABSOLUTE RIGHT TO HIS REPRODUCTIVE FREEDOM. Remember that right, ladies? Link to post Share on other sites
troggleputty Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Yeah, what a GREAT relationship that would be. Skulking around behind your woman's back, thinking she's cheating on you while allowing her to think you actually love her. Well if you really believe what you say, then a husband should be able to DENY paternity of a child, WITHOUT being forced to take a paternity test, simply on the husband's "say so." Shouldn't wives trust their husbands on claims of paternity or non-paternity? Isn't sauce for the goose, also sauce for the gander? Link to post Share on other sites
troggleputty Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Yeah, it seems that some women go bonkers at the thought of their man refusing to put blind faith in them, as you say. I guess they feel that they lose control when that happens. All of that stuff written here about leaving a man if he dared to do a paternity test is most likely just empty posturing but it's nevertheless revealing of how much disdain these women have for a man wanting an independent assurance. No, these women who object to it so vociferously, are 1) extremely controlling or 2) have something they feel very guilty about or 3) both. If a woman is completely innocent of any wrongdoing in the relationship, and yet her husband still insists on a paternity test, I would expect an emotionally healthy woman would react not with anger, but rather in wonderment and concern that she must have done something in the relationship to cause her husband to lose trust in her. Link to post Share on other sites
sweetjasmine Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Well if you really believe what you say, then a husband should be able to DENY paternity of a child, WITHOUT being forced to take a paternity test, simply on the husband's "say so." Shouldn't wives trust their husbands on claims of paternity or non-paternity? Isn't sauce for the goose, also sauce for the gander? Your arguments are all pretty ridiculous, dude. If you had unprotected sex with your partner, then you can't expect to be taken at your word when you deny paternity because it's entirely within the realm of possibility that it was your sperm that fertilized the egg. The only way you can deny paternity and be taken at your word is if you were using protection or if you didn't have sex with your partner within the right time-frame for her to get pregnant. Because you and your wife damn well know whether you had sex with her, genius. That type of situation isn't equivalent to demanding a paternity test from your partner. No, these women who object to it so vociferously, are 1) extremely controlling or 2) have something they feel very guilty about or 3) both. So now it's controlling to get upset when someone demands you take a paternity test on the off chance that you might be a lying, cheating whore like all women? If a woman is completely innocent of any wrongdoing in the relationship, and yet her husband still insists on a paternity test, I would expect an emotionally healthy woman would react not with anger, but rather in wonderment and concern that she must have done something in the relationship to cause her husband to lose trust in her. LOL, what a surprise that your idea of what a healthy reaction would be is incredibly distorted and actually unhealthy. Healthy people don't blame themselves when others are being irrational and paranoid. "What did I do to deserve this?" when they didn't do anything is a doormat's response. If I were completely innocent, and my husband demanded a paternity test, I'd say okay, but after that, the relationship would probably fall apart. I wouldn't want to stay in an unhealthy relationship where my partner doesn't trust me. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Yes. It's amazing how controlling women can be, when they spend all of their time venting and moaning about how men are supposedly the ones who are doing the controlling. Face it ladies. You have absolutely no say in the matter. EVERY MAN has the absolute legal right to have any alleged child of his, or any actual child of his, paternity-tested. IT IS PART OF THE MAN'S ABSOLUTE RIGHT TO HIS REPRODUCTIVE FREEDOM. Remember that right, ladies? If he really was about protecting his repro rights, he would bank the sperm and snip the path. You're amazing; no matter what woggle, we're cheating one way or the other - right? On vaca with our sister and everytime you are not watching . Absolutely an amazing piece of work here to help us all be better folk Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 If he really was about protecting his repro rights, he would bank the sperm and snip the path. You're amazing; no matter what woggle, we're cheating one way or the other - right? On vaca with our sister and everytime you are not watching . Absolutely an amazing piece of work here to help us all be better folk Troggle and I are two different posters but he is right. This is yet another case of men being demonized for protecting ourselves. Women expect us to walk into relationships completely open and vulnerable to getting royally screwed over. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Troggle and I are two different posters but he is right. This is yet another case of men being demonized for protecting ourselves. Women expect us to walk into relationships completely open and vulnerable to getting royally screwed over. Yes. As we do too. As everyone does, but hopefully without being faulted for the behaviors of people who are not us. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 hopefully without being faulted for the behaviors of people who are not us. That's really easy. Don't behave in those ways and we won't fault you for them. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Yes. As we do too. As everyone does, but hopefully without being faulted for the behaviors of people who are not us. So you pretty much expect men to play russian roulette with our lives which is what modern day coimmitment is? In every other area of life people are supposed to make sure they are safe but unless men are completely reckless with our future we don't truly love a woman? If a woman truly is trustworthy why would she have any problem actually proving it? Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Rapes occur in my city every year. A rape occurred one neighborhood over from me not too long ago, and that's just one that I heard about. If I, out of nowhere and with no evidence or grounds for suspicion, insisted that my husband submit to a forensic examination because I was concerned that he might be a rapist, you can bet that he would be hurt, feel misunderstood and insulted. I don't know if he would leave me, but he would view our bond of trust and mutual understanding as damaged, our relationship would probably be forever altered in his eyes. He would wonder if I had ever really known him at all, and no matter how much I tried to rationalize to him that it was because I was feeling insecure and it was no reflection on him, he would rightly feel that the reality was that I was telling him I didn't know whether or not to think my wonderful husband was actually a horrible person, a rapist. Yet around the world, a lot of men commit rape, and my husband is a man. Surely if he were to react emotionally like this instead of just rationally submitting to my insistence that he prove himself NOT a rapist, that would mean he had something to hide? Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 That's really easy. Don't behave in those ways and we won't fault you for them. So then no paternity test unless I've been triflin? Or is the suggestion we all gotta be triflin? Bank it and snip the path if you're so incapable of trust. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 So you pretty much expect men to play russian roulette with our lives which is what modern day coimmitment is? In every other area of life people are supposed to make sure they are safe but unless men are completely reckless with our future we don't truly love a woman? If a woman truly is trustworthy why would she have any problem actually proving it? How about you prove your love to your wife - oh wait YOU CAN'T because you don't. Bank it and snip the path if you see life as a game of Russian roulette and stop projecting your fear on people who give you no reason. We all take a risk in relationships - ALL. Men and women. Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 That's really easy. Don't behave in those ways and we won't fault you for them. The premise of this thread is that the hypothetical woman in question being asked for a paternity test has given no reason to believe she might have cheated, and their relationship is long-term and monogamous. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 So then no paternity test unless I've been triflin? Or is the suggestion we all gotta be triflin? Bank it and snip the path if you're so incapable of trust. I pretty much trust no woman unless she proves herself and even then I have to make sure she is still trustworthy every now and then. Any other approach is playing russian roulette with your life. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 I pretty much trust no woman unless she proves herself and even then I have to make sure she is still trustworthy every now and then. Any other approach is playing russian roulette with your life. Your wife proves herself everyday and you still can't give credit where credit is due so don't even bother singing your little song and dance number for this one. Bank it and snip the path - then if they turn up pregnant, you have grounds for asking for DNA testing. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Your wife proves herself everyday and you still can't give credit where credit is due so don't even bother singing your little song and dance number for this one. Bank it and snip the path - then if they turn up pregnant, you have grounds for asking for DNA testing. I give her credit but I still make her prove it because I need my piece of mind. Like I asked before if you are not cheating on him why would you even be offended by a paternity test? Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 So then no paternity test unless I've been triflin? Or is the suggestion we all gotta be triflin? Bank it and snip the path if you're so incapable of trust. I'm straight forward about who I can trust. No amount of attitude or backbite will change that. The only thing that can change perceived trust is observed behavior and interaction with someone over time. Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 I give her credit but I still make her prove it because I need my piece of mind. Like I asked before if you are not cheating on him why would you even be offended by a paternity test? Because I'm not cheating - duh. You do not give her credit because if you did, you wouldn't require random integrity testing like a needy neglected child still craving crazy momma's love. Will you every mature emotionally past age 7 or are you going to stay stuck like this and never move past mamma's damage? Mamma still owns your a$$. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Because I'm not cheating - duh. You do not give her credit because if you did, you wouldn't require random integrity testing like a needy neglected child still craving crazy momma's love. Will you every mature emotionally past age 7 or are you going to stay stuck like this and never move past mamma's damage? Mamma still owns your a$$. If you are not cheating why do you have a problem proving it? Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 I'm straight forward about who I can trust. No amount of attitude or backbite will change that. The only thing that can change perceived trust is observed behavior and interaction with someone over time. Yup, and as I chimed in waaayyy back at the beginning of this subject. If you've been given a reason to question their integrity I can totally see needing a DNA test. But really, if you've been given reason to not trust - why are you still still around dipping your wick and risking kids? Link to post Share on other sites
sally4sara Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 If you are not cheating why do you have a problem proving it? Because I'm not the Virgin Mother and I'm not cheating. I've never cheated. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Yup, and as I chimed in waaayyy back at the beginning of this subject. If you've been given a reason to question their integrity I can totally see needing a DNA test. But really, if you've been given reason to not trust - why are you still still around dipping your wick and risking kids? This situation doesn't apply to me but I do agree. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 7, 2010 Share Posted March 7, 2010 Because I'm not the Virgin Mother and I'm not cheating. I've never cheated. Then why do you have an issue proving it to a man? If you love a man wouldn't you want him to have piece of mind. Link to post Share on other sites
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