Author ssuzanness Posted February 2, 2010 Author Share Posted February 2, 2010 thanks...freestyle and angel..... i did respond this morning....i said: Good. Bye. that's it...will not respond again......im learning...slowly... Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 thanks...freestyle and angel..... i did respond this morning....i said: Good. Bye. that's it...will not respond again......im learning...slowly... Good enough. Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted February 2, 2010 Share Posted February 2, 2010 Stick to it, hun. When the temptation to respond gets overwhelming,post here. More than likely someone will be around to respond. Or simply read this thread again from beginning to end.In a way it's kinda like a journal for you..........a record of what you've gone through. It will get a little easier with each passing day. Your strength will return. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssuzanness Posted February 2, 2010 Author Share Posted February 2, 2010 for sure...i do...read this thread...over and over...i don't know what i would have done without finding you all and this site!!!....i have gotton through today....next step.....tomorrow....thanks x a billion!! Link to post Share on other sites
Ashkayi Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 I live with a man who thinks he has to threaten me to get a response. We have broken up many many times. He needs help and refuses it. He is always disgusted or angry and says the most hateful hurtful things that a person should never have to endure. If you have already walked away from it, dont look back, at least you have gotten further than I have. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssuzanness Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 dear ashkayi.....have you read my thread at all? it's so hard. if i can walk away anyone can. it's been 24hrs since any contact. it makes me sad....but its for the best....he is so bad!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssuzanness Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 ok.....all of a sudden i feel really sad right now...almost tempted to text...i won't....i just remember this past sat we were supposed to go to a benefit party. which of course i didn't go to.... now im thinking he met someone there...the person he texted me that he was with now..that's so much better than me.... and for some reason its making me feel sad...someone gets the "nice guy" the part i love so much....he will be horrible with anyone like he was with me...right? im just really sad right now..even though iknow better.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssuzanness Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 help me a bit friends.....having a bad day....supposedly he has a new girlfriend.....got a text from someone today saying..."she is so much more normal than you were".....wtf!? i am the normal one...it's just no one sees the "bad guy" part of him!!! im just feeling really really horrible.....sad,alone...miserable.... help please.. Link to post Share on other sites
Ashkayi Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 I know how you feel, and yes i read your post. Hes going to make you feel like youve done something wrong. Thats what they do. A man like that wants to drag you through the very place they cant get out of. I know, i live it everyday!!!!! I cant buy s omething with my own money with out being told "oh i never get to buy anything, i never get to do that" but i work hard for my money, i work harder than he ever thought about and i make more money because i want to do something with myself, and he chooses to remain a highschool drop out working a dead end job just so he doesnt have to work hard making better. He twists and turns everything on me, he will literally make stuff up to prove himself right, and will try to manipulate me the est way he can and now it doesnt work with me i have realized what the deal is and the serious problems that he has. He has a lot of mental problems and yes the reason why i havent gotten up and moved forward is because although everyone knows hes the cause of all of our problems, hes the one that has turned me into a depressed freak, its because i know that who ever he ended up with he would treat better than me, because he already treats non-family ten times better than he treats even his mother. You are better of to NOT text him and to get your head together.. Take some time with family and friends, take some time to get yourself back to the way you were and move on. The girl he is with or could be with, will end up getting exactly what you go, the beginning he will try to make look good, and he will work on trying to make it appear better than what you had, i know, i was that other girl once. Now look where im at.. Move forward and dont look back.. It hurts so bad because he hurt you so bad.. Trust me, dont look back. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssuzanness Posted February 3, 2010 Author Share Posted February 3, 2010 thanks...im trying... Link to post Share on other sites
Ashkayi Posted February 3, 2010 Share Posted February 3, 2010 If you need anyone to talk to im here.. i dont mind at all.. As i said, im still going through it and i do everyday, thing is, is everyday im getting stronger and i fight back.. Everyday i let him know im not the idiot he wants me to be. I should leave, and i know i should, but something keeps me here... I pray everyday about it, i pray that God gets a hold of him, but he has to want to get help and to want to change. And until he does, our relationship will never improve. He looks at me like i disgust him, hes jealous of anything i do or buy, and we are suppose to be a couple, and yet he doesnt do ANYTHING for me. Nothing.. He has nothing i need or want.. Its all because i love him and i cant get passed it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssuzanness Posted February 4, 2010 Author Share Posted February 4, 2010 please please please for your own self..don't get married...i almost got married...thank God I didn't....i have love for my guy too!! But not the kind of love you are supposed to be in when you get married to someone.... I know it's stupid!! you can get passed it...im not with him anymore...which is good, but sad and lonely sometimes....Did you read about traumatic bonding...that is why it's hard to leave..and even after you leave ..why it's hard...you so can do this...if i can leave my guy YOU can....BE STRONG!! it's so hard...i know...talk to me anytime.. Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 help me a bit friends.....having a bad day....supposedly he has a new girlfriend.....got a text from someone today saying..."she is so much more normal than you were".....wtf!? i am the normal one...it's just no one sees the "bad guy" part of him!!! im just feeling really really horrible.....sad,alone...miserable.... help please.. stop reading his texts!!!!!! oh, wait, you said from "someone"...was this a third party?? If so, that's not cool at all. Very, very juvenile. Try to visualize yourself being above that. Stay strong sweetie.........we're here for you......... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssuzanness Posted February 4, 2010 Author Share Posted February 4, 2010 UGH!!! why why why does he have to be so good at F-ing with my head?.....i think im going to have to change my number again.....then i won't know if he tries to contact me or not.... Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 UGH!!! why why why does he have to be so good at F-ing with my head?.....i think im going to have to change my number again.....then i won't know if he tries to contact me or not.... There you go !!!!!!a step in the right direction. Teach yourself to be indifferent, I know it feels foreign, but it will feel empowering before you know it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssuzanness Posted February 4, 2010 Author Share Posted February 4, 2010 yea...it as a friend of his that does't like me....so there's not a lot of truth in that statement coming from her.....i did "stoop" to her level though...i called her a few names and told her to mind her own f-ing business......actually this was on facebook...not texting...she messaged me....i now blocked her....HOW highschool is this...?? Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 yea...it as a friend of his that does't like me....so there's not a lot of truth in that statement coming from her.....i did "stoop" to her level though...i called her a few names and told her to mind her own f-ing business......actually this was on facebook...not texting...she messaged me....i now blocked her....HOW highschool is this...?? Okay, so you slipped. It's easy to do when people are trying to push your buttons, and you're not in a strong state of being. (you'll get back there, tho, you will ) If something like this happens again, try to keep to the higher ground. Other people's negative opinions are irrelevant, don't let them have any bearing on your self-esteem............ Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 I doubt that the friend actually sent that text. It was probably your ex who sent it. He probably used his friend's phone when he was away from it, or got his friend to agree to it. It would be a good idea for you to change your phone number again, and make sure you talk to your cell phone company when you do it and let them know that it's imperative that your number remains totally private. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssuzanness Posted February 4, 2010 Author Share Posted February 4, 2010 thanks so much again...i received some texts today from him...but i deleated them without even reading them....it was very hard...because deep down i was hoping they were nce texts.....i know ...crazy...but i never read them.....tonight i am going to the cricket store and changing my number again!...i stress that it reamin private... Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted February 4, 2010 Share Posted February 4, 2010 thanks so much again...i received some texts today from him...but i deleated them without even reading them....it was very hard...because deep down i was hoping they were nce texts.....i know ...crazy...but i never read them.....tonight i am going to the cricket store and changing my number again!...i stress that it reamin private... Nice from him = a lie You would do well to not ever forget that where he's concerned. Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 thanks so much again...i received some texts today from him...but i deleated them without even reading them....it was very hard...because deep down i was hoping they were nce texts.....i know ...crazy...but i never read them.....tonight i am going to the cricket store and changing my number again!...i stress that it reamin private... Deleted without reading!!!! You go girl!!!! I'm soooo happy to see you taking assertive steps. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssuzanness Posted February 5, 2010 Author Share Posted February 5, 2010 got the new number....will NOT give it to him, his sister, or ANYONE associated with him in anyway....only prob is that he does have landline number...but i have caller ID and turned answering machine off.... so....see what happens...he'll prob be so busy charming new gf that he said is so much better than me...he will leave me alone????? it make me feel sad when i think about it....but trying not to... Link to post Share on other sites
Author ssuzanness Posted February 5, 2010 Author Share Posted February 5, 2010 "Nice from him = a lie You would do well to not ever forget that where he's concerned." i need to keep that in my head at all times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you Link to post Share on other sites
freestyle Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 One trick I've heard of to combat obsessive thought patterns, is to keep a rubber band around your wrist. If/when you get tempted to read one of his messages, or contact him, just snap the rubberband.......use it as a reminder. The tiny bit of pain from the snap can serve to remind you to stay focused in the present, rather than dwelling on "what-ifs" and "remember whens". Link to post Share on other sites
Angel1111 Posted February 5, 2010 Share Posted February 5, 2010 got the new number....will NOT give it to him, his sister, or ANYONE associated with him in anyway....only prob is that he does have landline number...but i have caller ID and turned answering machine off.... so....see what happens...he'll prob be so busy charming new gf that he said is so much better than me...he will leave me alone????? it make me feel sad when i think about it....but trying not to... Go ahead and let yourself feel sad. But whatever emotions you're feeling, they do not need to lead back to him. So cry for the loss of something that was significant to you, whether it was for real or not. Mourn it and bury it - however long that takes. And one day, you'll turn around and look back at that lonely, lifeless road you left behind and wonder why you ever let this man control you the way he did, why you ever felt a drop of anything for this sick and twisted and pathetic person. Link to post Share on other sites
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