Lets actually pick apart what the problem is with the dating market

[Miko]

LOL!

Visually in a "i'm hot so you must pay attention to me" way.

I think we can agree a man won't get far under those conditions.

You have to show them that pretty aint enough.

Then the tables are turned & their interested enough in you to stop trying to play with you & start conversing with you like a real human being.

 

LOL, I was just joking but I understand.

 

Say with me..."pretty is as pretty does"

[Woggle]

I agree. I've noticed this myself lately since my seperation.

I have a zero BS tolerance now when it comes to women.

 

Once they have realised the cleavage wear or the oh so tight fitting jeans don't get my attention they stop trying to stimulate whats below my belt & start trying to stimulate whats between my ears.

 

I noticed that too since my divorce. I stopped taking women's crap and I shocked myself by how good a player I was with women. I had FWB situation with a maneater who chewed up men and spit them out and when it was over she was ready to marry me which I wanted no part of. This is why I saw respect is the most important part of attraction with women. The only thing I have a hard time doing is switching back over to kind and loving mode with a woman who truly does deserve to be treated well without losing my backbone.

[carhill]

D@mn, I'm going to have to make meerkat stew more often; that's some good shyte!

 

It correctly and succinctly underscores the power of the p*ssy and how woman can and do manipulate through social networking and guile and deceit. In war, if a frontal assault is not sustainable, you bite the enemy in the ass

 

Once more, the crickets chirp, cattle low plaintively in the distance as a tumbleweed rolls across the thread.

Ok, you're a neighbor...fess up Edited December 15, 2009 by carhill

[meerkat stew]

Eh, carhill, you said it more succinctly, most of men's problems in dating are about being a slave to p*ssy, and women aren't that much to blame for taking advantage of the double standards, weak, p*ssy slave men are for continuing to be subject to them.

 

It would be nice though if women would at least -admit- that the double standards exist, and that in this day and age of presumed equality, some of the double standards don't make sense and are unfair to men, but...

 

A coyote howls mournfully off in the distance as the wind whistles through the trees.

[carhill]

And here we are, sitting around this fire, drinking beer and talking to ourselves

[sally4sara]

Not to mention that it is all a cooked argument...

Professionally speaking, true gender equality became possible only after the unprecedented prosperity in the 19th and 20th century, when technological changes actually made it possible for women to participate in the labor force alongside men - typically in jobs that do not require too much physical strength, and today most jobs don't.

 

I wonder why there aren't many women complaining that they are under-represented among auto-mechanics .

 

I ask all the budding feminists here to honestly answer this question:

 

If you were to get back in time, would you honestly prefer fighting in war (wars where you actually look in the eye the soldier that is about to stab you), digging coal, or building homes to working on the household and hanging out with your kids?

 

I didn't think so.

 

 

Not to mention that the protection of the women, children and the elderly is the basic code of honor that has been followed time and time again all over the world.

 

This "oppression" argument is merely a strawman argument considering that the second it was actually possible for women to participate in the labor force - they did .

 

Ready to report for duty on the battlefield sir!

I do my own basic car maintenance.

Two days ago, I helped an elderly blind person navigate out of the metro station and find their connecting bus.

I paid for my own meals on dates.

I don't care if a guy made less, same, more as long as I don't have to carry him through life.

I don't care what car if any, as long as he can get there.

Whatever problems y'all have in the dating market.....I don't remember it being that hard. I'm rather average/cute but not a "10" .

 

Tho I am not budding; I'm in full bloom.

Maybe its no ones fault folks?

[alphamale]

I do my own basic car maintenance.

Two days ago, I helped an elderly blind person navigate out of the metro station and find their connecting bus.

I paid for my own meals on dates.

I don't care if a guy made less, same, more as long as I don't have to carry him through life.

I don't care what car if any, as long as he can get there.

Whatever problems y'all have in the dating market.....I don't remember it being that hard. I'm rather average/cute but not a "10" .

would you like to get together sometime?

[sally4sara]

would you like to get together sometime?

 

Getting married in just over three weeks, so I think that would be a bad idea.

[alphamale]

Getting married in just over three weeks, so I think that would be a bad idea.

see, this is the problem with the dating market

[tami-chan]

I noticed that too since my divorce. I stopped taking women's crap and I shocked myself by how good a player I was with women. I had FWB situation with a maneater who chewed up men and spit them out and when it was over she was ready to marry me which I wanted no part of. This is why I saw respect is the most important part of attraction with women. The only thing I have a hard time doing is switching back over to kind and loving mode with a woman who truly does deserve to be treated well without losing my backbone.

 

But "not taking crap from women" does NOT equal being disrespectful to women. Personally, I prefer a man who is not a pushover. The problem I think is when a person believes that he (or she) cannot "live" without the other person. Right there is already an opening to be abused. One must not be afraid to walk away.

[BlueHarvest]

I completely agree with this.

 

And yes, women in the South are generally more old-fashioned and easier to approach. They are also better at flirting in general.

 

Big city and women on the coast have a real fear of strange men, so it is often externalized as rudeness or being rushed.

 

What if I live in the south, on the coast....in a pretty big city? I'm screwed aren't I?

 

@ meerkat

 

You present a lot of anecdotal evidence. I can equally tell you that my boyfriend makes about 200,000 dollars more than I do but I got him a Gucci coat for christmas and he got me a 20 dollar used book off of ebay (first edition of my favorite author but that's beside the point I'm trying to make). Yes I do expect some common courtesy like opening doors and lifting heavy objects but hey, I clean and buy the groceries. I could refute every one of your points with more anecdotal evidence but you know what? If men are getting the short end of the stick like you say, then they should go for an alternative such as dating other men. Hey, you know dating is a free market. If women are so awful why are a majority of relationships still heterosexual?

 

Exceptions do not make the rule, your 200k husband buying you a gift that only cost 20 dollars was because it was a first edtion book, it was sentimental. In terms of sentimental value his gift was worth more. The book you will remember forever as a gift he thought about carefully and bought you. The jacket? I guarantee you he will forget about it in less then a year. Just another expensive jacket, nothing to worry over. Hey, if he were to dump you...would you go lesbian? No? Thought not. Why did you even bring up homosexual relationships as a possibility for a man who "is getting the short end of the stick"?

 

P.S. Like the name though. Too bad Squall Leonhart isn't here, you two could hook up!

 

I bet the OP is getting a kick out of how popular his thread has become. If I recall, he is the one who is always making offensive posts, and referring to women as fatties and such. Always seems to start some sort of rival on LS.(look back at his previous threads)

 

Good topic, but I think he might be a troll and people just feed him generously. Not good. I bet he's sitting back watching the fun.

 

OpenGL is anything but a troll. I think you may have him confused with "hkizzle" who was the one going around calling women "fatties".

[doushenka]

Briefly veering off-topic: QuistisTrepe, where did your man find a first edition for twenty bucks and whose first edition was it, exactly? I always ask my Sky to hit the antique book vendors when he goes to England. He found me a lovely Bleak House from the nineteenth century; I'm waiting for the Little Dorrit to match!

 

Going all the way back to the OP, though, I've always talked to strangers in bookstores and supermarkets. Being sociable seems to have gone out of style, along with being polite and respecting each other. Online dating encourages none of these, please note. I like it when people are pleasant to me out of the blue. I will gladly reciprocate.

 

I'm not sure about the 5:1 ratio of women to men; I'm pretty sure I'd have had better luck finding a girlfriend if that were the case. Maybe OpenGL is noticing more women than men. It's the same thing some pregnant/TTC women report - when you're in a baby mood, suddenly the whole world is full of babies and expectant mothers! Being nearer the middle of the Kinsey scale, I tend to see an equal ratio; does it skew for people who have a more definitive preference?

 

Men and women both seem to be buying the Hollywood scam these days. Sometimes I wish I could twitch my nose and see the real person underneath all the makeup and hair gel. A little eyeshadow, a little blush, some lipstick, sure. But a whole new layer of skin? Why?

 

As to the third point - if people insist on having multiple partners, I do wish they'd be honest about it. I am. Sky is not just mine. He and I are accountable to his Sunshine (obviously, these are not real names). It's called "polyamory" and it works for us. I don't believe in tricking people into arrangements like ours. What's the point, if everyone who's been tricked is only going to feel awful about it? Trickery doesn't last, and love doesn't come from lies.

 

...perhaps the real problem is that we're willing to buy into the trickery?

[meerkat stew]

He found me a lovely Bleak House from the nineteenth century; I'm waiting for the Little Dorrit to match!

 

If you haven't already, you might enjoy Dan Simmons' book "Drood," one of the best novels I read this year, and a hilariously bent Dickens biography.

 

Blueharvest, want to offer a dissenting voice about some stereotypes offered in the thread about the South. Whatever once may have been true, women in the South, in my experience, are no more or less old-fashioned and approachable than women anywhere else. Maybe some exceptions for rural areas, but you will find a tiny dating prospect pool in those places.

 

As someone raised in the South, I find women in NYC to be the more approachable generally of the places I have lived, imagine that! Southerners can be obnoxiously cliquish and averse to outsiders or people perceived as "different." Again, talking metropolitan Southerners, not rural as much. Rural Southerners are generally so bored that anything new will overcome our cliquishness.

[betamanlet]

I think often times people are just shallow and sometimes too shallow for their own good. Young women want the all american Tom Bradyesque guy. Tall, handsome, great job, ambitious, nice smile, dresses well. What they don't realize is that there are about 10 of these guys in every 10,000, the other 9,990 are various levels of average, most on the lower levels. When women come to the realization that the chances of them landing Tom Brady is really really really slim unless they're Giselle Bunchen, one would think they would gravitate towards the remaining levesl of "average" men available but not so much. They would still hover around the 6-8 range, tolerate the 5s but any guy 4 and below incites a eye roll and a "he's just not my type". This attitude doesn't really change until they get older and wiser and often times desperate.

 

For the guys who complain about women not returning a smile on the bus or women acting like you are some kind of a creep the minute you look at them. It's because you are simply not good looking enough. Don't underestimate how big of a role "looks" play for women although we will deny it until the cows come home. Women enjoy a handsome, well put together guy more than you know. Ofcourse, we want you to have other qualities too but it always starts with looks.

 

Betamanlet posted an interesting and very true dating story earlier. The moment she saw him, she immediately wrote him off because of his looks. Even as the date progressed and she noticed some things they have in common, she couldn't get past the fact that he wasn't good looking enough. And did you see a picture of the guy? he's no troll, he's decent looking, he's your "average" guy.

 

 

Pretty much every date I have ever been on has been like that, you can tell she made up her mind instantly, made no effort to even have a conversation. I often hear about women loving to talk about themselves, I've never found that the case... I'm not hideous or anything, but I am just average, and they pretty much are all looking for perfection. My last girlfriend told me she wanted "the perfect relationship" and I told her at the very beginning that there's no such thing, and if you think there can be one, you will only be dissapointed every time. After being lied to and cheated on, she moved on.

[doushenka]

Anyone who uses Wilkie Collins as narrator must be worth a try, at least! Thanks, Meerkat.

[betamanlet]

lol...this is so true! and check out the woman in the story...she's not even pretty! It is quite perplexing why some people think they "deserve" to be with someone "hot", "rich", "successful" . I think people should require of their partners the same things they can offer. It is just fair.

 

 

It's SO common where I live. I'm not materialistic, and don't care about what kind of job people have, but even making 100k as a lawyer, doesn't cut it here. You have to be the owner of a hotel chain or something. This town attracts personality disorder people like flies to you know what... The chick in that article has NPD.

[betamanlet]

Hm. I love the self righteousness in some of these posts.

 

I don't agree that it's not society at large's fault. It is. Secondly, to all the women who insist men always cheat, always use, and always abuse, let's face the facts. Women do it just as often, only in a more final way. Women cheat. Women use. Women abuse. But society at large barely recognizes the promiscuis nature of the modern woman. They are JUST as guilty.

 

I for one as a man have NEVER cheated on ANY partner. Ever. Yet I am labelled by the actions of my forefathers. That's fine. I get it. But own your mistakes also. Part of the problem is the disconnect between genders in today's world. It's ridiculous. Both genders love to point fingers, but neither accepts the blame. Both genders cheat. Both genders abuse. Women simply get the pass because in the news it's always "This guy cheated on his wife!" Yet we never hear about the "This guy had his heart broken because his wife left him for her coworker" stories, now do we? No. Society places this HUGE implication on men, and strictly men, when women are just as, if not more so, guilty of modern promiscuity then men.

 

I've been cheated on by every gf I have ever had. I've never cheated, and really doubt I ever would. But they not only cheated, they didn't even feel guilt about it. They felt entitled to find who they felt entitled to meet, and nobody else matters.

[tami-chan]

It's SO common where I live. I'm not materialistic, and don't care about what kind of job people have, but even making 100k as a lawyer, doesn't cut it here. You have to be the owner of a hotel chain or something. This town attracts personality disorder people like flies to you know what... The chick in that article has NPD.

 

I know. I visit DC a lot ( or at least used to) and power and money is the language of that town!

[betamanlet]

I know. I visit DC a lot ( or at least used to) and power and money is the language of that town!

 

 

im not gonna date ever again unless i leave. i am almost 35, im supposed to be a millionaire by now

[tami-chan]

im not gonna date ever again unless i leave. i am almost 35, im supposed to be a millionaire by now

 

Then I hope you leave soon(where are you going, lol...so nosy...). Dating is fun . Maybe when you are 35 you will settle a huge case with a multi-million dollar pay out to you!

[calizaggy]

Pretty much every date I have ever been on has been like that, you can tell she made up her mind instantly, made no effort to even have a conversation. I often hear about women loving to talk about themselves, I've never found that the case... I'm not hideous or anything, but I am just average, and they pretty much are all looking for perfection. My last girlfriend told me she wanted "the perfect relationship" and I told her at the very beginning that there's no such thing, and if you think there can be one, you will only be dissapointed every time. After being lied to and cheated on, she moved on.

 

 

I started dating one 28 yr old girl, and after a while we went back to her place..

 

When i was in her room there were about 4 posters of some model type guy with a microphone.. I said "Who is that"? she said "Oh that is my ideal husband"..

[betamanlet]

Then I hope you leave soon(where are you going, lol...so nosy...). Dating is fun . Maybe when you are 35 you will settle a huge case with a multi-million dollar pay out to you!

 

If a woman wants me for that reason, i'd rather be dead.

[betamanlet]

I started dating one 28 yr old girl, and after a while we went back to her place..

 

When i was in her room there were about 4 posters of some model type guy with a microphone.. I said "Who is that"? she said "Oh that is my ideal husband"..

 

 

And I bet she wasn't even kidding around.

 

I posed this question to some people today, and I think I've eliminated 90% of women, by having these standards, hence, making me delusional and having unrealistic expectations. So presuming I would even want to date DC women:

 

(1) Resonably sane

(2) not obese

(3) not materialistic

 

And I'm eliminating lots and lots of women by having these standards.

[calizaggy]

No she wasn't kidding. She knew everything about the guy and wouldn't stop talking about him.

[tami-chan]

If a woman wants me for that reason, i'd rather be dead.

 

No, no -no dying allowed ! You said something about being a millionaire by now (or should have been)..I was just wishing you well......Sheesh, you are kinda mean. I think I found the reason why your love life sucks:rolleyes: