Brightmoon Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 I'd agree with this. Unfortunately though, for whatever reason, she's seriously and dangerously 'mis-wired'..... Mis-wired, yes, but we all are to some extent.
TaraMaiden Posted December 20, 2009 Posted December 20, 2009 Yes. "To some extent" being the operative phrase. The danger is in not knowing how badly, and even worse, the person themselves either ignoring it, failing to acknowledge it, or at the very worst, believing they're absolutely fine... it's everyone else.....
YoungG-d Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 I'm rooting for this poor bastard. Good luck! Stay away and never be alone with her.
Author WinterPain Posted December 22, 2009 Author Posted December 22, 2009 Hello everyone. Thanks for your concern. Alot is happening and I don't have time to write details right now. I'm still alive . I'll post a better update soon.
freestyle Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Hello everyone. Thanks for your concern. Alot is happening and I don't have time to write details right now. I'm still alive . I'll post a better update soon. Very good to hear from you. I'm gonna go out on a limb here, and presume to speak for everyone, we were all worried about you ! Please,please update us (even with just a memo) from time to time. You've got a lot of people in your corner here, concerned with your well-being. Hopefully you can draw strength from that as your battle begins. .........to thine own self be true......................
Onwards Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Am I the only one suspecting (but hoping against) an update that is going to suggest a very quick/forced reconciliation? I truly hope Winter has his level head on.
cody5 Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 She offered me another release, which I took, and while she was stroking me, I was begging her not to go away with him. She actually laughed as I begged her. When I got home, I puked. If he's tempted to go back to her, he can re-read this from his original post. Which one of you said she's not evil?
Brightmoon Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 If he's tempted to go back to her, he can re-read this from his original post. Which one of you said she's not evil? Me Cody. That was me. I still stand by that. We all want the best for you Wint. Hope you are OK.
Robin2000 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 hmmmm sorta looks like the lack of posting about how well things are progressing mgiht point towards some kind of reconciliation?
Darth Vader Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Been wondering that myself.... Oh, God, I hope not! This man deserves so much better! How 'bout an update, like today, if possible. Man! This is good reading! It seems that he hasn't hit the anger stage yet, perhaps it's still too early for it, in which case I advise that you stay away from the STB-Hex because of that false assault charge thingy. This tramp would do anything to make him be her lapdog again. Do yourself a huge favor and get rid of this cancer in your life! In case you didn't get the hint, UPDATE!:cool:
Lovelybird Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 Could it possible that Winter had sex with her? Maybe Winter and his wife are a couple who cannot leave each other, but continue to mess each other up? she likes to abuse, he likes to be abused; or they will change roles, now she loves to be abused, he does the abuse?
Spooky84 Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 I have a few male friends like Winter...he will go back with this woman. Guys like this are all around. They will put up with anything to stay married or in a relationship because they completely lack the spine to take the (to them) seemingly infinite amount of steps to reclaim their manhood, when it is in fact easier to hand their genitals to a woman...no matter how she treats them, or their heart for that matter. *sigh*
TaraMaiden Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 We're all hoping he comes back in with an update, but as more time passes this hope is getting thinner. of course, it could be because of the 'festive season' thing, and his last post did say something about a lot happening.... I too, hope we hear something soon - but it's possible that, if he's gone against all advice from everyone, he's just feeling a little too guilty and fearful of coming back and telling us.... we really may never hear how things turned out...ever.
Darth Vader Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 I'm sensing a 'we're trying to work things out' moment coming. If this is the case, Winter will feel nervous about posting this news to us. But of course, we must all live our own lives and make our own decisions. However, it is the holiday season, and people are busy with this-n-that, so maybe he'll get back to us in the near future... This time could make him more vunerable.
Brightmoon Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 Could it possible that Winter had sex with her? I have to say, this made me laugh.... Happy New Year Wint and everyone here.... Hope you are OK Wint.
WifeCheatedOnMe Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 By now I'm thinking that Winter is attempting reconciliation with the cheating skank. Oh well, to each his own.....I sincerely wish him luck. No offense, but I assume that in your participation in this thread and others, you do so out of compassion and friendship. If Winter has chosen to reconcile with his wife, why would you call her a skank? Would you do so face to face with a friend or family member who was attempting to work things out with his/her spouse? We all make our decisions based on what's best for us, and I think we should respect those. Just my .02c
Richard Friedman Posted January 4, 2010 Posted January 4, 2010 Cobalt called her a cheating skank because that is what she is. And if the op is indeed attempting reconciliation, then it would be like an addict relapsing into his cocaine habit. Sometimes we can objectively say someone is showing bad judgement, and it seems everyone here agrees that this is one of those cases. Personally, I just think it's tragic that some poeple, whether due to upbringing or other issues, would let someone walk over them, spit in their face, and rape their dignity and still not be able to muster the courage to cut them off. Even if you believe in some cases infidelity can be forgiven, if you read the thread would see that the wife's seemed to almost get some kind of sadistic pleasure from flaunting the affair in her husband;'s face. She sure as hell did not give a flying **** about him, and if the OP still wants reconciliation then all I can say is that he needs serious help.
Author WinterPain Posted January 5, 2010 Author Posted January 5, 2010 Hello everyone! Sorry I didn't post earlier, but I was sitting around getting extremely depressed over this whole divorce thing. It's really one of the worst damn things I've had to go through. Depite what she is and what she has done, I miss her so much it hurts sometimes. In any case, a good friend of mine is in Paris with his company who sent him there for a 3 year stint. I called him up to wish him a Merry xmas and all that and then told him I was now separated. So he invited me over for the holidays. My first reaction was "Yeah thanks, but maybe some other time" .. figuring that it's expensive and a little ridiculous. But then I thought about it and said f*ck it, and I called him back and told him I was coming. I had nothing else better to do really except pine away over my situation and you only live once. I left a couple of days before Christmas and I got back Monday. My first time in Paris, and damn! That place is amazing. Yeah it was colder than usual apparently, but that's the most amazing city I've ever seen. Needless to say, I had a great time. No, I had an absolutely fantastic time. Had the best food I ever tasted, drank great wine, went clubbing all night. The we took a little side trip to Amsterdam . That was incredible as well. Fact is, this trip changed my whole view on life. It's a big world out there with alot going on and I want to have some adventure before it's too late. Back to reality .. the lawyer tells me we're looking at a possible court date in June. But in the meantime, when I got back, she slipped a 20+ page handwritten letter in my mailbox. In there, she went through alot of rambling about her childhood and why she did self-destructive things and how much she loved me and wanted to mend her ways for me. Not that it matters in my state, but she admitted to the adultery in the letter several times. She did expose herself in this letter. I'm not 100% sure whether I should give this to the lawyer or not or if I need to keep this personal.
freestyle Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 So very, very glad to hear from you. Many of us were fearing the worst... Sounds like the Paris trip was very cathartic for you, I'm so glad you went. Hopefully it helped you to clear your head.......... Ask your lawyer whether or not an admission of infidelity will be helpful to your case or not.I believe it depends on where you live, your lawyer should know these things.Even if infidelity is not a factor in determining a divorce settlement in your state, it could possibly be evidence of mental cruelty or emotional abuse.(if you need it) The letter sounds like the manipulation that so many of us warned you was sure to come.Trying to yank your chain....................Keep your wits about you................
HeyThere Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Is your wife a violinist? She seems high strung to me (ha, ha). This story is filled with so many up and downs, serious and funny moments/ posts. I think it’s great you’ve adopted us “virtuals” for part of your support team. I’m impressed with your strength and openness to communicate when it is wavering. Your wife has a heart – that’s good. I hope she gets a ton of therapy, lord knows she needs it and one day is able to love herself. NOT WITH YOU!!!!! Keep listening to all the great advice here. I thought you’d gone back to her. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” -- Eleanor Roosevelt ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Card carrying member of CRAP – Citizens Resisting Acronym Proliferation
TaraMaiden Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 Winterpain - !!! YOU'RE BACK!! Woo-hoooooo - !! *runs round the room, like kid being a plane*.....!! Ok, back to business.... Discuss it with him first. tell him that she has included much personal stuff that is not relevant, and that is probably sensitive, and that you do not think you should reveal. but there is also an admission of her adultery. Ask him what you should do.... maybe he would just be content to have the parts where she admits her actions... In the meantime, sorry, but it's a huge relief to have you back with us, and that you actually puit distance between you, rather than reduced it.... I'm so glad you had a great time. Paris is wonderful, I agree. mind-boggling and awesome.... And I'm further delighted that you now see things in a new perspective. I realise your feelings for her run (ran....? ) deep, but her letter is something she will live to regret. Things sent off like that are usually based on emotive logic - and that's not a good place to reason from. it might prove to be her undoing. This was sent from a base of desperation. She's trying to make you feel sorry for her. she's trying to rationalise her actions and tell you there's a basis/excuse for them. This is Bhull5h1t. She may have well had a difficult past, and there may be foundation for her actions, but her past is no excuse for her present. my partner knew some pretty nasty abuse at the hands of his autocratic and Harsh father. he might well have some personal issues, but it's never caused him to lay a finger on his son, ever. Be strong. be practical. don't operate from a seat of emotion. Talk to your Lawyer.
HeyThere Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 ps – you’ll need therapy to figure out your reason of attraction to this emasculating woman. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” -- Eleanor Roosevelt ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- Card carrying member of CRAP – Citizens Resisting Acronym Proliferation
jwi71 Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 I haven't contributed to this thead because you have a solid core of posters here giving you solid advice. I concur with it all. Now...for the "book" she wrote. GIVE IT TO YOUR LAWYER. Let his (or her) LEGAL mind determine what is and is not useful. Proceed from there. I understand you think this is a betrayal to her. It isn't. A betrayal would be to scan the pages onto the internet for all to see...or to hand out copies at her job...in short...to use it to further hurt, humiliate and embarrass her. Don't do THAT. But DO show your lawyer. He/She has seen so much damning personally embarrassing evidence that it no longer even registers with him/her. It is simply a document containing potentially relevant information in the divorce. If she is in IC...I would consider giving the letter to the therapist for your stbxw's BENEFIT. There is always time, room and space in life to show others, even those who have done HORRIBLE things, grace, mercy and love. (I don't mean to stay with her...don't. She ISN'T the one for you. But it IS ok to help her by passing the document to HER family perhaps...so SHE gets help) My .02
WifeCheatedOnMe Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Dude, have you read those earlier posts? Unless you're someone easily duped, you'll agree with my summation of her as a 'cheating skank.' Actually, I think of her as much worse...My point is, if Winter was trying to reconcile with her for whatever HIS reasons are/were, then it might not be constructive to refer to his W in a derogatory manner given that we are trying to support HIM and HIS decisions. We can certainly caution him on our take, but the name calling just seemed counter productive, IMHO. That's all
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