should guys look at porn when they are married?

[HokeyReligions]

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t40257/

 

Rather than cut and paste and re-post, here is the thread that I think has a lot of great opinions and information about pornography and relationships.

 

It's a long thread, but read through it -- it's pretty good.

[WomenAreNuts]

Originally posted by sweetmind20

hi,

 

my boyfriend and i recently got engaged.. he has always been a typical guy with the fascination with porn and whatnot.. but now that we're going to get married, do you think a new line needs to be drawn because he isn't a bachelor anymore? i was wondering people's opinons.. it bothers me a bit.. but i know it will probably bother me more if he does it and he is my husband. i'm just wondering if it is only fair to tell him to stop because we are married. thank you!

 

nope..if you were okay with it when you weren't engaged then you should be now. If you ask him to stop he's going to think to himself..."she's already asking me to change things about myself"

[NatDiggy]

Before my husband and I got married I knew he looked and porn. He still does. At first I had a problem with it, and sometimes I still do. But we discussed it and this is what he told me:

 

Men are visual beings. They like to look at women (especially the model types) Men are going to look. As long as that's all they do, they things are fine. Also, as long as he takes care of the household and you it shouldn't much matter. If it becomes a problem, as to where he sits and looks at porn all day and nothing gets done, then you need to have an issue about it.

 

Like others have said before, talk to him about it, and tell him how you feel. And if you feel comfortable sit with him and look at a few yourself. At least to see what the big deal is all about.

[shortbus74]

Nat... I could not agree with you more... Sometimes I do not care and sometimes I HATE IT!!!

 

But then I do get PMS once a month

 

The women in porn are being paid $$$$ to act like they really like it....

I have ruined porn for my man because I like to point out all the flaws on the "actresses" (he hates me now...hehe...)

 

So the next time you have to sit thur a porn movie... amuse yourself... point out all flaws... (makes me feel better when I see the girl with fake DD's and I am sporting a 34-A)

 

 

Love ya all here,,,, espically Hokey... she is the best

[kirkyswife]

Hi

 

I was just wondering what exactly is it about porn that upsets you? or disgusts you? I think when choosing a life partner you should consider ALL of the interests/pasttimes/fetishes of your significant other and determine if there are things that you simply can not or will not be able to tolerate and make changes in your life opposed to imposing rules on an adult male.

 

If your fiance likes porn then maybe you can offset things by spicing things up in the bedroom or checking out the porn with him. Forbidding a man to do anything will only drive him to it and/or to resent you. Also, I think it's important to identify what offends you most about his viewing the porn and weigh it against his attributes to determine if this is a battle worth fighting. I don't know a man I dated was sexual and he watched porn and masturbated every morning and we engaged in sexual activity almost daily. It was wild and fun and exciting and he was satisfied.

 

The moral of the story is this - you can't make a man be something that you want him to be you have to accept him for who he is. A man changes when and if he wants to change - not one moment before.

 

I wish you luck!

[firehawk1981]

I am not for porn. I'm currently in a relationship and my man looks at porn every nite. But then when it comes time for bed, he wants nothing to do with me. I feel like the porn is taking my place and our relationship is comming to an end.

[dnm1010]

i think it goes further than having porn in a relationship... especially if youre looking ot have a future. how would you feeel if your 10 year old daughter fouund your porno stash? i think porn has no business in a decent relationship..but its a very individual thing. all i can say is that if you dont want porn in your relationship you HAVE EVERY RIGHT... you shouldnt ask other people how you should feel. most importantly you need to identify your feelings and address them together as soon as possible. or youll be married for 10 yrs and then be a statistic and file for divorce.

[Newly Engaged]

Originally posted by firehawk1981

I am not for porn. I'm currently in a relationship and my man looks at porn every nite. But then when it comes time for bed, he wants nothing to do with me. I feel like the porn is taking my place and our relationship is comming to an end.

 

Sounds like there are other problems here...

No man I know looks at porn to the exclusion of his lady love unless there's something wrong. Maybe you should talk to him about how he's feeling. Find out why he's not interested in sex with you - but don't blame the porn. That'll make him defensive and clam up more. Pointing the finger and laying blame is the key to driving someone away.

 

Most people I know (men and women) who watch/read erotica are quite healthy. Most of them have healthy relationships. A recent study actually found a correlation between watching porn and having a healthier relationship. Generally, people who enjoy erotica are more accepting of their bodies and the bodies of their partners, and more open to different tastes and activities. This gives longevity to a couples sex life, since humans are not by nature completely monogamous. (Check out other Primate social structures and sexual activities - there are similarities there)

 

To address the original poster : The only person you can change is you. If a man is an avid devotee of erotica, there's nothing you can do to change that. Asking him to put it away seems suddenly selfish and prudish (especially if you've not mentioned it before). If you can get past the feeling that it's a betrayal (because it isn't - I assure you) then maybe you might find some of it titillating. If you can look at it as an opportunity to get to know your partner better, to broaden your own horizons, you might find that it strengthens your relationship rather than harms it.

 

 

To dnm1010 : Firstly- children should be protected from things that they're not ready for. In the same way I wouldn't let my child play with matches, drink drain cleaner, or handle firearms, I'd protect them from erotica. On the flip side, as a child is coming of an age where they're exploring their newly awakened sexuality, access to non-violent erotica in an acceptable fashion is quite ok. I agree, she has every right to feel a certain way - but she has NO RIGHT to tell him to feel another. What's good for the goose, is good for the gander, ok ?

[lohrewok]

Originally posted by Newly Engaged

To dnm1010 : Firstly- children should be protected from things that they're not ready for. In the same way I wouldn't let my child play with matches, drink drain cleaner, or handle firearms, I'd protect them from erotica. On the flip side, as a child is coming of an age where they're exploring their newly awakened sexuality, access to non-violent erotica in an acceptable fashion is quite ok. I agree, she has every right to feel a certain way - but she has NO RIGHT to tell him to feel another. What's good for the goose, is good for the gander, ok ?

 

 

 

HUH? Access to non-violent erotica is quite ok? Could you please give some examples? I would be very interested in exactly what you mean by this statement.

 

dnm1010 was making the point that you have every right to not want porn in your relationship. You don't need to go on a message board to ask other people how to feel.. address your feelings about this issue as soon as possible otherwise there will be problems down the road.

 

In other words, if one doesn't want porn as part of a relationship, one has a right to let a potential SO know that. Up front. If you feel this way and don't expess it to your SO, if the issue pops up later, you don't have much of a leg to stand on.

 

Personally, I don't have a problem with porn. I enjoy it as much as my husband. But if I didn't care for it I would marry a man who felt the same way or one who could respect my wishes. IMO just because a woman has a problem with porn does not automatically mean she has low self-esteem, or communication problems or even intimacy problems. It seems to me that if you are anti-porn posting here you get all kinds of psycho-babble thrown at you by people who don't even know you.

 

Why not give these women the benefit of the doubt and just put their stance against porn as just another shade of the human condition? Nothing wrong with hating porn IMO, and I don't have a problem with people who don't like it. I do have a problem with some posters on here who feel they must push their agenda on others.

[dnm1010]

Dear lohrewok

thankyou for your opinions. i see u kind of understand what i mean. so many people come on here and ask how they should feel regarding their partner viewing porn... and i think that they shoouldnt requect other peoples permission to like or dislike porn. its a personal thing and has nothing to do with anyone but the two of you. but i do think people who are planning on getting married should think about their familys and children. you cant just say- ok now that little jonny is 5 we need to stop having porn. i knew a family where the parents had loads of homemade porn... and they went out of town so the kids gave my friends the keys to there place... and while they were gone my friends (some were my freinds some where my frinds friends some i didnt know but thats besides the point) searched their house and found the tapes and watched them. this could happen to anyone with kids. once you have kids life isnt selfish and about you anymore... or atleast i dont think it should be. i think the best way to deal with situations like this is to not even start.

personally i am not gonna share porn wiht my child when he/shes 5 or 10 or 15 or 20 or ever.... i do not think there is any age where it is appropriate for a mother to tell her child porn is ok. because one day my child might meet somone who has the same views as me... and this acceptable habbit can ruin their relationship.

 

anyway, i think people who decided to supress their emotions abotu things... especially if these are strong emotions... they can end up ruining a relationship, being unhappy... and a lot of other relationship problems can happen. my point is that if u dont like porn, let your SO know ASAP... this goes as well with any other problems you might have. do not be embaraced with who you are. if youre going to spend the rest of your life with somone, that person will be with who you really are and not with a front... you wont be able to hide the truth for long.

 

i am happy to say that after dealing with a porn addiction for 8 months, my SO has given it up, along with anything else indecent (in my opinion). i didnt make him. i addressed it with love. i told him that it is something we need to get through. and that if i caught him looking at porn or anything that i would feel hurt but i would not love him any less. sometimes its all about how you treat a problem. i think its important never to let your SO feel unloves, unwanted or embaraced.

 

of course there are limits

 

i hope everyone is doing well

here in florida hurricane frances is teasing us off the coast

 

be well everyone

[MarriageBed]

Perhaps the real question is why is he looking at porn?

 

If he is looking at porn because he is addicted to it and has an uncontrollable thoughts, then your marriage could be in trouble. Do a quick search on "sex addiction" or "porn addiction" and you will find a lot of couples with serious relationship problems as a result of an uncontrollable desires.

 

If he is looking at porn because he has sexual needs that are not currently being met, then perhaps you can meet those needs and he will give up the porn. Many men look at porn because they are not getting their sexual needs met on a regular basis. The sexual drive in most men is very strong and if those needs don't get met, then many men will look for a way to meet their own needs (right or wrong). I believe when a wife fully meets her husbands sexual needs, it is a lot easier for him to turn away from porn.

 

It is also possible that his porn has turned into a habbit. I believe there is a difference between a habbit and addiction. Some men get in a routine, or a habbit of doing something. They do it because that is what they are used to doing (and of course they like it, or they would not have done it in the first place). Habbits can sometimes be hard to break. Some habbits can be unhealthy for us, like over-eating or always having a dessert. When porn turns into a habbit, it can often cause problems with relationships. Most habbits take time, and sometimes that time grows and grows. Habbitually looking at porn can take a husband away from his wife and family. Worst case, habbits turn into addictions.

[AussieChik]

I think if a guy has a girlfriend that he shouldnt look at porn.

that is what a girlfriend is for. why would you want to look at porn if ure in a relationship?

i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, and he looked at porn before he met me,and at the start of our relationship. then suddenly stopped looking at it. he told me that he has me and doesnt need to look at porn anymore.

then a few months later i found that he had been looking at it when i wasnt there, i asked him about it and he denied it. so i didnt bother him about it. i wanted to be able to deal with him looking at it, so i decided to look at it aswell (on another comp in hes room) he saw me looking at it and got real angry with me and said it was wrong for me to look at it. he wouldnt talk to me or do anything with me for a long time. then recently i found that he had been looking at it again, and asked him about it and yet again he denied it. i asked him if he wanted to look at porn and he said "no because it is gross"

so why is it good for him to look at it but its wrong for me to look at it?

i have tried talking with him, but he never listens to anything i say, stuff that isnt about porn aswell.

i have asked him if he wants to look at porn with me and he says no.

so why wont he look at it with me or when im there and says he doesnt want to look at it because its gross but does it when i am not there and denies it. and gets angry at me if i look at it.

[Karlise13]

and we look at porn together and it's lots of fun for us....sometimes. A lot of times we're just like...'eh, big deal'.

 

I don't know, the porn thing has never bothered me at all!

 

 

In fact, I think perhaps because I don't make a big deal out of it (and even enjoy it myself) my BF really isn't all that interested in it anymore.

 

We get Playboy and it just lies around the house, he may pick it up and flip a few pages over and then he just puts it down. I actually read it more thoroughly than he does (some of the articles are quite good!) But he usually doesn't even look at it.

 

I think making something forbidden just makes it that more exciting. Just make it seem normal and everyday. Geez, it's just naked bodies and bad filmaking. If you treat it as normal, it kind of loses its luster.

[dnm1010]

youre right i think .... youre right for you two.. obviously porn is not a problem for you...

but some poeple do have a problem with is bcause their significant other does not want to be intimate anymore or what not.. ive read some of these peoples problems and i dont blame them for hating porn.

also, i dont like it, i dont care if other people like it, i think its very personal. im sure it can be harmless.. but i just cant get myself to accept it. my boyfriend understands, he said he wanted to stop looking at it before we got together and now there is more motivation there.

plus, i want to raise a family and i dont want things like playboy around the house where my kids are. all in all, porn-free fits my lifestyle better, but its all personal... as long as both of you are 100% ok with it there is no problem, but once one of you starts not liking it... problems start.

[khristal23]

My boyfriend looks at porn. I know this. Do I always like it? No. Do I know that he will do it whether I say I like it or not? Yes. Most of the time, it doesn't bother me. Here are the times that it bothers me: 1.)When I feel like I've gained a few pounds, and I feel much less attractive and much less like I stack up to these women at all. 2.) When we haven't had sex in a looong time and I know he's looking at it, I'm thinking, why is he looking at this stuff and not having sex with me? It's hard, I know. But, if he told me that he would never look at it again, just because I didn't want him to, I would feel guilty, like I was depriving him of something that is probably harmless, in his case. No, in general I don't really like it. I only don't mind it when I'm feeling pretty confident with myself and I'm sure that when he's being with me, he's being with me and not someone he's been ogling in a a magazine. I know it's hard. If only they didn't have to make these women look so darn perfect with no extra bulges and no imperfections like most women pretty much have whether they like it or not. It makes a girl feel pretty inadequate, that's for sure. But, I try to tell myself, "Oh, he's a man. Men have to look at this stuff. They can't help it." And that works for a while, because I know it's sort of true. But the main thing is this, if your man loves you, truly loves you, it's not going to matter in the long run. As long as you can deal with it. If he truly loves you, he wouldn't be with these women, even if he had the chance. The fun thing to do is this: look at it with him. He will respect you more for it, trust me. That's the approach I took right off the bat, and my boyfriend was so proud of me because I was so unlike any girlfriend he'd ever had before. Talk about it with him. Discuss things. Once you do that, it's not as hard, because you see the respect you earn. I may be talking crazy, and i know this approach is not for everyone. I would not do it if you really do feel that stronly about the whole thing. If you totally hate it, don't act like you like it just for his sake. But if you're just kind of lukewarm, like me, then don't make him feel totally ashamed of himself. That may make him resent you in the long run.

[Just married]

I do have a problem with it and I will tell you why. I have been married for last three months but I have been with him for over three years. I never knew he watched porn, whenever I asked he would say he doesn't and I never found anything that would make me suspicious. After we got married, he said something along the lines of him watching porn .

 

I didn't think much of it and I didn't care, besides our sex life was great. And he had said that like two weeks into our marriage. And I have never been really interested in porn before it just never appealed to me. So I thought to myself that maybe he would like it if we watched it together. And I also thought it might be fun to try something different. When he played the tape maybe after couple minutes of it "he was falling asleep" or better yet pretending he is not interested in it. So I turned it off thinking maybe he really didn't care about watching it.

 

Well was I wrong. Whenever he came to my work he brought his laptop and there is a wireless internet at our office, he would sit in the lobby on the computer for a while .. I did my work and when I was done I would sit and talk to him. Well one time I sat right next to him and instead of him pressing the page that had displayed cars he pressed the one that had porn on it but quickly changed the page hoping I didn't catch it. So I said I don't mind you watching but don't hide it from me it will only go further and make me think why are you hiding stupid thing like that.

 

I never asked him to quit watching it. But he procedes to tell me he will stop watching it and that he was just bored. ... And around the same time I had seen some emails from a chic that is in cali .. we are in washington.. so I never thought he was cheating ... and the emails were just friendly nothing more... so i asked him why is he hiding that as well he procedes to tell me he won't talk to her anymore and that he didn't want to tell me because he was scared to how I was going to react to it. Well there is something wrong there if you think I will flip out and you are still doing it. Well anyways, a month later I go into history to try to track a company page that I had visited before and to my suprise there is hundredssss of pages he has visited in last two weeks ...

 

Once again he is hiding it from me ... WHY? Why not share it ... I don't mind watching it with him if he wants me to ... HELLO I still exist.. If he is hiding a little thing like that what else is he going to hide? So to my curiosity I wanted to know what was so special about that porn that he wanted to hide it... I do give credit some chicks were drop dead gorgeous but some were not so much ... and I still ask why? So by this time now our sex life is here and there... come on we are both in our 20s plus newlyweds and one time a week ... if I get lucky its two times ... but its like earning brownie points ...

 

And you know one time is not even an issue because sometimes he is tired and sometimes I am tired or something else comes up ... but i guess its different because that is not the way it used to be ... I still haven't told him again about hiding it from me .. cause frankly I don't know what to do ... when I ask why he is hiding it he says he was only bored and thats why he was watching it ... helloo I am right in front of you , you can at least talk to me ... so give your opinions and please just good advise and not any rude comments... thnx

[dnm1010]

im really sorry that you have to experience this with someone you love so much.. some poeple who write here are going through these issues with their boyfriends and such but you guys are masrried ...

i experienced some similarities in the past. i was with a guy and i found porn but the thing is it REALLY bothered me and even though we were living together and were together for over a year we decided in the begining not to be sexually intimate... i thought it was hid idea and he thought it was mine and we never talked about it.... so i felt like why was he looking at porn and not me... anyway we broke up (he was moving overseas when we started dating so we didnt want to get too attached but we did and his move ended up being postponed by a yr.. long story).... i found porn and confronted him and he denied it but then i found it qagain and he denied it and it made me so sick how could he deny something that is right there.

now i am with someone new and were plannign n getting married and we have made sure to be open about all topics... and he tells me things about how he felt about porn. he was/is addicted to it and after 8 months into our relationship he told me he finally gave it up, hes been wanting to do it for a long time and the fact that it bothers me so much helped him and he deleted everything from hsi com puter and i can even check his history and its clean. but he did mention one thing that i thought i shoudl share with you- guys are embaraced they look at porn.. some, not all. especially if a guy feels he is doing something wrong. looking at porn to me is very wrong and very devastating. it hurts me if i cant satisfy my guys lust... but he said hes been looking at it for so long its like a habit... he said it took him a whjile to realize hes addicted to it... he doesnt go to strip clubs or anythign like that- but just the porn on the computer its liek when hes bored he looked at it....

i think maybe u should have a talk with your guy, and tell him how you feel - but dont mke him feel guilty or bad.... treat it with love. thats what i did and the progress was amazing. i try my best to make my man know that no matter what i love him and we will get through things togehter, even if somethign he does makes me mad.

 

i dont know if this advice helps you at all, please let me know....

[sassyone]

Wow...im so glad i have found other people that are having the same problem as me..i thought i was just one of the unlucky few in the world. I've been married to my husband for 2 yrs but we have been together for 4. He is absolutely obsessed with porn all the damm time and its really upsetting. He has thousands of pictures on his pc along with hundreds of videos and clips and he has over 100 playboy mags easy under the cabinet in our bedroom. Now to me..when ur married and you have two young children this is not normal behaviour. I don't understand how he would rather sit and surf and look at porn when i am right here with him willing to give him attention let alone craving it myself. He use to sneak playboy magazines to the bathroom of a morning before he went to work which i finally confronted him about. Did he think i was thick or something? Us women know these things. After a long talk and me finally breaking down into tears he put that to an end. Im not sure what hurt the most,..the fact that he did it or the fact that he was hiding it from me. He will quite happily leave me sitting in the living room while the kids sleep on my own while he sits on his ass on the pc saving pics and surfing through videos...then when hes all horny he thinks he can come in and get some...hell no if i dont turn him on enough then he can ****off. Then it just leaves me wondering.."well is he thinking of me now or the blonde he's just been oggling over on the net" Men dont seem to understand just how much it hurts us women. Yes i understand that men have urges and sometimes want a "quick release" but holy **** we don't? My sex drive is just as high as my husbands so i dont understand why he wouldnt want to spend his urges with me than in a bathroom on his own. Personally i think men masturbate to porn because they either lack imagination or their just too damm idle to use it one or the other. We are about to move as he is in the army and we are moving to a new location so wont he have 50 fits to come home and find i've scrapped all his playboys in the bin. He might actually get the message then. Its so nice to know im not the only person with these problems.

[dnm1010]

sassyone

 

wow i cannot believe you put up with that. how do you do it? why do you do it? i mean have you told him what you think yet. sometimes guys just dont get the hint, they need you to tell them straight up then they need to digest it and stuff. i th ought i had it bad - my guy never looked at it and i never caught him masterbating or anything but he had it on the computer and he admitted to me to be addicted but he also did not want it to be a part of his life especially not when he had kids.. or we have kids.... he has the will power and deleted everything from his computer (which was where he had the stuff) and i felt much better. but this whole process of confrotning him and talking about it and dealing with everythign took 9 months.. so it does take time... but i mean you two are already married and it sounds like ou wanna be with him real bad and u have 2 kids.. thats realllllly bad, i mean if not quit for you, for the kids! you n eed to talk to him or this will haunt you. please talk to him. let me know what happens. best of luck, with your move and everything.

[Starting Over]

Should your husband get to look at porn...the answer is NO NO NO! You're asking this question at the right time, as the whole purpose of marriage is to make a committment to ONE other person...not the Victoria's Secret catalog.

 

We all might have different notions on this, but he ought to have only eyes for you. And the fact is that your body is going to age, as is his. Don't give him something else to compare you to, and wish for. Help him to look at you everyday and wonder in how gorgeous you are, because you are...even after a few wrinkles.

 

Tell him to say his goodbyes to all other girls...real or on paper!! You deserve it, and I have NO DOUBT that it will bless your marriage immensely.

 

Have him put all that energy into satisfying and pleasing you...and put yours into doing the same for him...without the aid of pics of other people.

 

You can do it...and he can getter over this porn thing, and he should if he knows it is important to you and your marriage.

 

Best wishes.

 

P.s. in response to some other responses, a loving, life-long, exclusive committment should not be compared with a police state. find some folks that love their marriage, and talk to them about all that it gives to them, rather than what it took away, becuase they probably hardly care anymore about what they gave up, if they really love what they got in return. Love and Respect.

[dnm1010]

starting over you said some very true and beautiful things

i see some people in my life that have been married for 30 years and are so in love and i hope that for me when i get married as well. the point is not to concentrate on whatyou gave up, its what you gained. you shoudl feel lucky.

some people enjoy porn together. even t h ough im not one of them if they both like it then who am i to tell them its wrong. but as long as one partner is against it that makes it wrong.

the thing is, i believe that if the woman doesnt look at other men and get plesure from it, then there is no reason for th eguy to. if the guy feels like he gave up all these women for his one woman, the woman gave up all the men for the guy too- it is equal.

one of my arguments against porn when i had the talk with my boyfriend was that i wont ever disrespect him so m uch that i will go look at other men. he is numbe rone in my life and mind and eyes and i should be in his eyes too. i asked him why is it that he has nothing to point his finger at me for doing... he cant say YOU, YOU did this or that because i dont do it. i dont talk to other guys in bad ways i dont disrespect him and its not that he does this stuff to me (other than having porn) i was just telling how i felt. i also told him how would he feel if his 10 year old daughter found his porn collection. (he doesnt have a daughter but i was talking abotu the future). he listened and the key thing was i never made him feel embaraced or unloved. some guys deny this topic and refuse to talk about it because they are embaraced. i treated it with love and it rezslly worked. we got through it and now were that much closer.

i wish for everyone who is having problems in this area, that they find a way to get through it and not just deal with it silently.

 

i havent heard from any men who have the same problem with their wives... i am intersted in that so if anyone is in that situation i woudl like to know how a guy would feel.

[Blackmanx]

Looking at Porn does not mean a guy will stray. It also doesnt mean that he is no longer interested in his wife. But it may mean that she doesnt give him enough sex and that his needs are not being met. sometimes, that's the truth. Some women just dont take care of their men's needs. Men do HAVE needs. Ladies, seriously. Withholding sex from your man is the worst thing you could do. DONT DO IT !!!!! It hurts the man. He will resent you for it. That's sexual and emotional blackmail.

 

I would not put up with that kind of bs from any woman, then again I am not married nor am I an ordinary man, so those things might not apply to me. Dont do this to your men, ladies. Desire is like a river. it has to go somewhere. Hold back sex from your man and he might stray and feel justified in doing so because you torture him in withholding sex from him. That's just wrong. It makes me glad to be a single bisexual black male. I dont have to put up with bs. my partners, both male and female are carefully selected and it's about passion, not commitment. peace.

[dnm1010]

im sorry but i think alot of time that is not true.. from what i have heard women are sayign they have needs and want to be with their men but the man is too busy looking at porn and is no longer intersted in them. in fact, from all of the women i know, all of them desire their men a lot. i think it is rediculous how alot of men assume women dont want to sleep with their husbands.

[dnm1010]

looking at porn might not mean a guy will stray but to me looking at porn is straying. and especially men who look at porn instead of their wife who is dying for him to look at her.

[mymojo]

The porn issue used to really bother me till I sat down and spent several hours looking at pics and videos.I made a discovery that delighted and thrilled me. I enjoy looking at pretty,perfect young people having sex, I also discovered that orgasms I have while pleasuring myself via masterbation are much more intense than any orgasm I have via partnered sex.Porn doesn't care that I'm not 20, porn doesn't care that my breasts are too small. I don't have to worry about anybody else's pleasure when I pleasure myself with porn.I don't have to worry about making sure the lighting is dim enough or that my body is in just the right position to hide my flaws.Another nice thing is that I can have solo sex when I want it,on a time table that totally suits my needs.

 

 

 

I love my partner but honestly must say that porn and self pleasure are more rewarding and less anxiety provoking than partnered sex.We can have a little huggie kissie session, I can give him a nice BJ that satisfies his needs and we're done in 10 minutes,all without having to remove my clothing.He gets intense oral stimulation without having to worry about pleasing me,he can relax,close his eyes and let his own fantasy script run wild which results in toe curling orgasms for him.

 

 

I gotta hand it to men, porn and solo sex are great, Porn is always there when you want it, 2D images make no demands of you,they have no expectations regarding you,your body or your responses and when you're finished with them,one click of the browser and they're gone.Porn allows me a great variety of sexual stimulation all without any sort of risk in my real time life, it also allows me to remain satisfied and within the confines of a monogamous relationship which I value highly.