Anyone else feel like men get less out of relationshisp than women?

[Trialbyfire]

Are you really that freakin' BITTER that you're going to WHINE about the fact that it's usually the man that takes the aggressive role in a situation like that? Are you KIDDING me?

 

Basic physics can figure this one out. Whose going to do a better job of protecting the family compound - a 125 pound woman or a 200 pound man whose body contains more muscle mass? Jesus.

 

And might I ADD that the person creeping around downstairs robbing you is more than likely a MAN stealing your stuff?? So go ahead you little whine-bag, send wifey downstairs while you sit upstairs in bed cowering under the covers and whining your pathetic life away.

 

Jesus, its been 20+ pages of listening to your bitter ridiculous whining about gender roles that have played out since the beginning of TIME. You don't like it? Then go live on an island somewhere where other mealy-mouthed sissies live and you can all run through the meadow all day picking flowers.

 

And last but not least - quit your freakin WHINING about men going to war. It's MEN WHO CREATE WAR!!!! Women haven't ruled the world, it's always pretty much been men. Whose the nutbar over in South Korea just waiting to start a war? Why, I believe it's a MAN. Same with the Middle East. Same with EVERYWHERE. But don't worry - on Pansy Island, you won't have to worry about real life.

 

Get a friggen GRIP. You sound like some EMO teenager, for God's sakes.

:lmao:

 

We're not worthy, we're not worthy! I wish LS had a supplicating smilie, on bended knees!

[redtail]

Are you really that freakin' BITTER ...

 

etc...

So go ahead you little whine-bag

 

etc...

 

I wish I'd said that!

[Stung]

 

You don't like it? Then go live on an island somewhere where other mealy-mouthed sissies live and you can all run through the meadow all day picking flowers.

 

But don't worry - on Pansy Island, you won't have to worry about real life.

 

 

 

I would love to live on such an island...although it sounds like I might not care much for my neighbors.

[Stung]

I wonder why men don't discuss their feelings. Every time he does and raises a legitimate concern one woman shames him and all the other harpies support her and jump on him.

 

**** you all.

 

 

Here's the thing, dude...you didn't raise a legitimate concern. You spewed a crapload of baseless misogyny and gynophobia. There's a difference, you just can't see it. Which is sad for you.

 

Very sad.

[carhill]

Come on, man, stop with the C-word, will ya...jeez....

[carhill]

All it will do is get this thread locked, deleted and you gone. I wish I had better news. Profanity/vulgarity is a no-no.

 

I can appreciate your anger; I had plenty of it before choosing to head down the divorce path. Hope you can resolve it.

[annieo]

So its ok for women to call men cowards, pansies, sissies but a man can't strike back at those same cunts?

 

I'm almost scared to ask, but what the hell happened to you to make you so incredibly angry? You might want to think about that.

 

And I'm not talking about generalizations based on observation, but actual, personal experience. Or lack of experience. Both can f#ck you up.

 

Nobody's perfect, and there are a lot of ass#oles out there, male and female. I've met a few. But they've been the exception, not the rule, from the people I've met.

 

Anyway, I hear pain here. I'll probably get called an unpleasant name now, but it would be nice if you explained a little, if you can.

[carhill]

What happened?

Amicable divorce proceeding. As with everything in life, we have a choice.

[annieo]

At least you didn't start insulting me. Thanks for that.

 

You're welcome. If you take an strong position on something, you will get an opposite and equal reaction. It's math, or maybe interpersonal physics. That's what is happening on your thread.

Do you want feedback to support your "thesis" or do you want answers to your questions?

I've always found it most helpful here (and in rl) to find out what other people think about my situations. Most of it has been enlightening, if not immediately easy to hear.

[annieo]

Either is fine. I am just tired of all the idiots above who did nothing but shame someone's masculinity. Considering women have been doing this to get men to go to war since the beginning of time why am I not surprised. It proves my assertion that only men are fed to the wolves to be true. And when someone challenges the status quo they get attacked.

 

I do NOT want men (especially my son, or my h) to go to war. I don't want ANYONE to go off and get killed, especially for stupid, falacious, government-created, false, profiteering reasons.

 

In fact, I'd be seriously tempted to lock my son (or daughter) up in his room if he decided to join up and go to Afghanistan/Iran/Korea.

 

If there were a Hitler or a Stalin on our doorstep, and we had to fight to protect ourselves, I'd go, before my children, my brother, my husband.

But that's just me. I'm a momma bear. But I don't think I'm that unusual.

 

Are you in the forces, or were you?

[annieo]

Yes that is unusual. Look at all the insults women waved at me. You really need to read pages 24-25. They said any man even expecting a woman to go with(or even behind him) to check on a noise is coward, sissy, pansy etc

 

No I haven't been in the forces. i have always suffered from health problems. low metabolism, light asthma, and poor vision.

 

What do you mean you're a momma bear? is that the opposite of the white feather waving women in this thread?

 

thanks for addressing my concerns though.

 

 

Never get in between a mother bear and her cubs, or you're dead meat = momma bear. And that includes war-mongering tyrants, people trying to rob my house, and well, anybody threatening me or mine. That includes spiders

 

Never heard about the white feather thing, sounds like Nazi propaganda machine in overdrive. They scared many people into complying, you know. Wave the white feather, or it's off to Auschwitz with you, too.

 

Anyway, chill out, man! The world is a funny old place and not nearly so serious as we imagine it to be. We're all lucky to be here at all, we're all going to die, one way or another. Don't waste it being angry - believe me, I've had to tell myself this several times a day until recently. And I was happy to address your concerns - I hope this helped a little.

[annieo]

It seems as though that is a role belonging to men.

 

Did you read that asswipe Michelle's post on page 24? What do you think of that.

 

Btw a white feather is something given to men (by women) who were not in the army as a way to coerce them to go to war.

 

That's what most of the women in this thread are like.

 

Thanks. You did help a little.

 

Guarding the cave is a woman's job, or I've always seen it as such.

 

I'm not going to critique other posters, lest they critique me

 

Those women (who were given the white feather) were coerced, too.

 

We're all in the same boat. Best to try to get along.

[annieo]

I think you misunderstood. Women give men white feathers for refusing to fight wars. Only women give them , only men get them. This happened in the past. i was just making a comparison between them and some women on this thread.

 

Seriously I don't get what posters like the one above me get from insulting men they have never met.

 

If you don't have anything nice to say don't say it. I never personally attacked anyone. The cowardly ones are the women who responded only to insult and support each other.

 

What's wimpy and cowardly is the need they have to attack in groups.

 

Thanks for your response. Can you add me to your contacts?

 

I don't use contacts - all in the open, best that way. But thanks

[theBrokenMuse]

Ladies, I can't believe you guys are continuing on with this back and forth pointless banter. You are just giving him what he wants - justification in order to further solidify a worldview that does not have a solid basis in reality. Not to mention the additional bonus of getting some reinforcement for his victimization status.

 

Seriously, this is akin to people trying to play chess with a seven year-old that just clumsily knocks all the pieces aside and triumphantly slams his pawn down on the board shouting, "Checkmate!" over and over again. I fail to see the point in even attempting to engage someone who quite honestly, isn't looking for open dialogue but to further their own agenda.

[cn283]

What's the point of talking?

 

The man's non-reciprocated role of protecting/nurturing his woman does not change.

 

Maybe a woman might give some sympathy. But the role wouldn't equal out out.

 

The "point" as you so eloquently put it is that the role of protecting/nurturing isn't just a male role. Both parties do that, albeit in different ways. If all 107 lbs of me went after a 200 lbs man my bf would call that highly irresponsible of me unless I was carrying a weapon...actually he just said he still wouldn't like it.

 

What if women started going on about how completely unfair it is to bear children. For 9 months your a slave to hormones, back aches, and a kind of physical and emotional stress a man couldn't dream of, culminating in a humiliating experience where your vagina has an 80% chance of tearing and you relieve yourself in front of complete strangers. And women have to do this 100% of the time! She's always getting thrown to the wolves!

[Woggle]

Yet another post calling a man gay because he expresses what he truly feels about modern day relationships. I guess some women find any excuse to trash a man who tells it like it is.

 

Women don't usually start wars though most female leaders have not been any more peace-loving than male ones. That being said it is mostly men who do the dangerous jobs of society. Most miners, construction workers, commercial fishermen and jobs of that nature are done by men and I don't see women clamoring to do them either. Mostly it is women doing corporate jobs in a safe air conditioned office. Many women look at men who do those dangerous jobs as uncooth losers as well when in reality they do much more to earn their check than your average corporate yuppie.

[Woggle]

I remember not long ago it was thought of as patronizing and sexist if a man tried to play protector but now we are back to thinking that a real protects his woman. This is why I am who I am and a woman take it or leave it. A man will drive himself mad if he tries to keep with women's ever changing desires that could be completely different an hour from now. When they learn to make up their minds maybe they will be luckier in love.

[MichelleS1983]

Yet another post calling a man gay because he expresses what he truly feels about modern day relationships. I guess some women find any excuse to trash a man who tells it like it is.

No Woggle, that's where you're wrong.

 

This man is blaming womankind for EVERY SINGLE THING wrong in this world, and using a VERY WIDE BRUSH to do it. He's ANGRY at someone who did him wrong, so he's going to blame the entire female gender for it.

 

And he's not talking about "modern day" relationships. He's whining about every single thing that women have supposedly made men "endure" since the beginning of time.

 

Just because HE didn't choose well and some woman screwed him over does NOT give him the right to come here and accuse ALL women of being monsters.

 

I'm sure I'd be equally trashed here if I posted some nonsense about every single MAN being a selfish, manipulative MONSTER whose thrown women to the wolves since the dawn of time. Are you honestly trying to tell me that all male posters would jump on that thread and AGREE with me?

 

Please. Don't insult my intelligence.

[Woggle]

Most women are much more subtle with their misandry than just flat out saying all men are monsters but I can see how they really feel about me. I actually have respect for women who lay their cards right on the table and say what they really feel about men. I like to know exactly what I am dealing with.

 

I don't agree his blame women for every evil in the world mentality but he has probably been through drama and is venting.

[grogster]

**** you stupid cunt. Why don't you get a life instead of ridiculing others concerns? Dumb bitch. go to hell.

 

 

Dude, that's the best you can do? MichelleS gives you the royal smackdown and your witty comeback: Calling her a c*nt and bit*h and telling her to go to hell? How compelling.

 

Turn in your man card.

 

What is it with some Shack men and their incohate rage against all women?

 

MichelleS, props to you.

 

You have one new male fan.

[Woggle]

Dude, that's the best you can do? MichelleS gives you the royal smackdown and your witty comeback: Calling her a c*nt and bit*h and telling her to go to hell? How compelling.

 

Turn in your man card.

 

What is it with some Shack men and their incohate rage against all women?

 

MichelleS, props to you.

 

You have one new male fan.

 

No matter how much you trash your own gender women are not going to respect you. They laugh at men like you behind your back and view you as a useful idiot.

[grogster]

No matter how much you trash your own gender women are not going to respect you. They laugh at men like you behind your back and view you as a useful idiot.

 

Woggle, thank-you for being gender-paranoid on my behalf.

 

I appreciate it.

 

The irony remains, however, that woman-bashing threads are so poorly written, conceived and defended--especially when picked apart by women posters--that they offer irrefutable proof of male inferiority in making and defending arguments.

 

Now, if I was paranoid, I would suspect that women-bashing Threads like this are created by a cabal of man-hating female posters whose sole goal is to make men look stupid.

 

And it works!

[Taramere]

So its ok for women to call men cowards, pansies, sissies but a man can't strike back at those same cunts?

 

I've been infracted for calling someone a "cunt" on Loveshack before. It's hard to resist using it though, given that it's still one of the greatest taboo words - yet one of the few swear words you can actually use on the board. I get a real childish pleasure from seeing it in its full glory....but it kind of loses its power when it's overused.

 

Did you read the article I linked earlier about getting out of victim mode? I posted it with good intentions, given that you'd said early on in the thread "I don't know how to get over this" (and by "this" I'm assuming you meant your intense anger).

 

Mostly when people are furiously angry, it's because they feel powerless ....but often they fail to appreciate that those feelings arise primarily as a result of angry views and thoughts (about being powerless) that they're brainwashing themselves into dwelling on 24/7. So a lot of the angry and powerless feelings are very much self inflicted - on which basis it's unfair to blame others for the fact that you have them.

 

So you don't like the notion of getting up at 2am to investigate a strange noise. The solution (assuming you want to eventually be in a relationship) is to find a woman who doesn't mind doing so, and who won't hold it against you for asking her to check the noise, or you could find another one who'll agree that neither of you should check out the noise and that it's best to just quietly call the police - even if you risk the embarrassment of them coming round to find a stray cat in your kitchen.

 

You don't have to conform to any stereotypical notion of a man that repels you. You shouldn't conform to any stereotype that repels you. On the other hand, you're bound to get some flak. People who don't conform to certain norms generally do. The more wound up you get about being teased or taunted, the more of it will come your way. It's a pretty elementary lesson most people learn by the age of 10. Didn't you go to school/grow up with siblings?

[Woggle]

Woggle, thank-you for being gender-paranoid on my behalf.

 

I appreciate it.

 

The irony remains, however, that woman-bashing threads are so poorly written, conceived and defended--especially when picked apart by women posters--that they offer irrefutable proof of male inferiority in making and defending arguments.

 

Now, if I was paranoid, I would suspect that women-bashing Threads like this are created by a cabal of man-hating female posters whose sole goal is to make men look stupid.

 

And it works!

 

Oh good lord. I hope the women give you a nice pat on the head and talk about what a great guy you are.

[Lucky_One]

Woggle, part of the problem with your gender-and-work issue that poor poor men have always had the dangerous, dirty jobs and that women work in "air-conditioned corporate America" is that it is wrong.

 

I think we all can agree that there is a physiological difference in men and women, and I think we all can agree that there is a psychological difference, as well, that is brought out by hormonal differences.

 

Oxytocin? Women have markedly higher levels of this amazing hormone. It leads women to seek monogamous relationships with high commitment, due to its release during sexual arousal and orgasm. Men have a release at orgasm, and then it plummets - leaving men "mentally freer" to seek out a new partner, while women's levels remain high, keeping them romantically attached.

 

Women secret oxytocin at moments of high stress, leading them to calming themselves. Men secrete epinephrine at a higher level, leading them to put themselves into more dangerous situations.

 

Women secrete a lower epinephrine level, leading men (with higher levels) to a natural body response of faster heart rate (giving muscles more oxygen, leading to greater strength and physical responsiveness and more glucose to the brain). It also leads (in higher levels) to a higher prevalence of heart disease and suppresses the immune system. Simply put, men die sooner from heart disease and other diseases and react faster to dangerous situations.

 

Women produce far greater amounts of prolactin, which is mainly talked about in conjunction with breastfeeding. But men make it, too, and if they make too much, then they have problems with libido and impotence. Women produce more of this, as it makes the body more hospitable for a developing child by increasing lung maturity and natural immune system in the fetus.

 

And that's not even getting into estrogen, progesterone or testosterone - which MAKE human beings behave in gender specific ways.

 

Brains? Men have smaller corpus collosums, making them far less verbal and communicative; men's levels of cortisol rise during discussion of emotions (cortisol being the stress hormone). Women's brains have 15% greater blood flow and brain wave activity during processing of emotions.

 

Men have larger amygdalas, which leads to greater aggression. Women have larger hippocampuses, leading to a greater emotional and verbal need.

 

Brains at rest are different in the genders. Brain activity slows in men in the brain stem - where the primal reactions are generated. For women, brain activity slows in the cingulated gyrus, the center of emotions in the brain.

 

Basically, a man is programmed to protect a fertile, pregnant, or lactating female, because he is physically incapable of carrying on the replication of the species. Women are programmed to be susceptible to the sexual attractions of the best and strongest of men, so that they can alter the genetic pool to ensure successful perpetuation of the species, and they seek out protection so that they can raise children to a fertile and self-sufficient age.

 

There seems to be a need to blame society for this gender based hatred that seems to be pervading some posters here. Try basic biology folks. Society itself evolved to provide the best support system for the differences in genders.