obscure Posted August 19, 2009 Posted August 19, 2009 I like the moment of enlightenment Lisa, it seems the more I read on LS that when people come to this realization, it's like a bolt of lightning! It wasn't there and now it is. I do think the walk aways believe what they say at first, but they can only keep the delusion up for so long before it all comes raining down on them what they have done! By then, the spouse has moved on to bigger and better things. TOJAZ Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant! You just described my STBX. She is like that with every facet of her life. When she needs a change, she dumps everything that she perceives to be a negative force for her "growth", and then realizes months later that she has only shut important people and things out of her life. There is no way I could ever convince her that she does this, but since I don't want her back it really doesn't matter. I really wish people would look at how they may be affecting the future of themselves and others instead of always looking for the quick fix or whatever makes them feel good for that moment. If they did, this would save so many relationships and so much pain.
tojaz Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant! You just described my STBX. She is like that with every facet of her life. When she needs a change, she dumps everything that she perceives to be a negative force for her "growth", and then realizes months later that she has only shut important people and things out of her life. There is no way I could ever convince her that she does this, but since I don't want her back it really doesn't matter. I really wish people would look at how they may be affecting the future of themselves and others instead of always looking for the quick fix or whatever makes them feel good for that moment. If they did, this would save so many relationships and so much pain. I have my moments!! Your right, there is no way to convince her, thats what makes it hurt so much. Unfortunately it may take years before they realize what they've done. That is if they ever do. Thats why everyone stresses working on you here, because you can't fix them!! TOJAZ
tojaz Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 You will find love like that, even after all this, I'm still a hopeless romantic that believes that true love, once found, can conquer all!! I guess we just haven't found it yet. TOJAZ that was beautiful tojaz....i hope we ALL find THAT special love....soon;) Thanks Dela, the strange thing, is you seem to find love where you least expect it. Or when your not terribly ready, or when it seems impossible. The important thing is that although your hurting, don't close off your heart, you never know who's trying to get in. (I sound like a damn woman, but life experience)! TOJAZ
Auroracoladybug Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 tojaz you may sound like a woman but it makes it all the more possible for it to be out there if both sexes can believe in true love that CAN conquer all!
delajoonal Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 tojaz...aurora.... do you know, today, i was out with my friend, and well talking etc.. and for the first time, i said out loud and actually meant IT: "i have decided that i do want to get married again someday.. i just don't want to get divorced again someday!"...LOL:laugh: so THAT IS HUGE for me...really..well, you all already know that.. i can't tell you the wonders of NC...i am just going to preach that one all the way home... NC NC NC NC NC NC...... it has changed so much...another level, or something...but NC with H has made this past week or so...well, i don't know, just read my posts....i am starting to feel ME COMING BACK...and i have some new dreams, plans, ambitions..hopes.... now, you know i can be crying again tomorrow...but you know..i really don't think i will..not for my H at least... gnite all....sweet dreams;)
Gunny376 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Other than children? Why? Compaionship? Most older couples I know of end up watching television in different rooms? She's on the phone to the best friend, the sister, mom ~ he's watching the game on the tv? Sex? :lmao: There are three phases to sex in a marriage! The frist phase is where you have sex everywhere in the house? The living room, the bedroom, the bathrooom, the foyer, the washingroom! Then you only have sex in the bedrooom! The final stage is when you only have sex in the hallway! As you pass her and she passes you in the hallway! You look at her and she looks at you and you both say to each other? "Screw You!"
delajoonal Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Gunny....The final stage is when you only have sex in the hallway! As you pass her and she passes you in the hallway! You look at her and she looks at you and you both say to each other? "Screw You!" LOL.........:D:p.....i think, Gunny, i was trying to say, that i have hope for the future in meeting someone new( finally)..someone else to love... when all this time, i was stuck "on there is no one else buy my H..i can never love again...etc...etc....." but one never knows...and if i do get married again.. YOU BETTER COME TO MY WEDDING!!!....LOL i promise you will have the time of your life! tee hee..i give great parties.
Gunny376 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Hell! I"ll even wear my Marine Corps Staff NCO Mess Dress Blues (even sharper than the regualar Mairine Corps Dress Blues) and miniture medals and NCO sword!
tojaz Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 LOL.........:D:p.....i think, Gunny, i was trying to say, that i have hope for the future in meeting someone new( finally)..someone else to love... when all this time, i was stuck "on there is no one else buy my H..i can never love again...etc...etc....." but one never knows...and if i do get married again.. YOU BETTER COME TO MY WEDDING!!!....LOL i promise you will have the time of your life! tee hee..i give great parties. DO I get an invite?, open bar? I'm loving the new attitude Dela, keep it up.! TOJAZ
Gunny376 Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 DO I get an invite?, open bar? I'm loving the new attitude Dela, keep it up.! TOJAZ Well at least an open tab for the two of us tojaz!
Author LisaUk Posted August 20, 2009 Author Posted August 20, 2009 I'm in MayI! How about you Lis? Yeah sounds like a plan! Well, we all do seem to have gotten much better all at the same time! It's so good to see everyone having a laugh and thinking about their future happiness. Some still have a way to go, sure, but it's not quite as raw now, well that's the vibe I'm getting form everyones posts anyway! As for me, like Gunny said on a previous post, "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damm". Never a truer word spoken, what a muppet my ex was!
Auroracoladybug Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 LOL Lisa I was thinking after you said muppet Hey Bert, Hi Ernie! Jim Hensen was a master! LOL
2.50 a gallon Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 Lisa / Obscure / Tojas / dela Yes someday in the future reality will hit them and they will wake up, and deeply regret what they have done. I have seen it happend more than once. And like finding the next love of your life it happens when you least expect it I had a next door neighbor who left her small town husband, moved to the big city to have a career. Turned out to be a very succesful career, major fashion buyer for a large set of department stores. Lots of money, every month she was flying somewhere including Paris, London, she had gambled in Monico. Then came the afternoon, her sister called to tell her her XH was getting married that night. Biggest Pity Party I ever seen, no guys were allowed. but I could hear her screaming, "She's screwing my husband" / "She's going to be the mother of my kids" "I've got a new car, a great career, fancy clothes, I've got nothing" " I am so alone", etc. She never was the same again. When her lease was up, she quit her job and moved. I heard from the other girls in the complex, that she was running scared, her biological clock was running out, and what she wanted most in life was a family and kids
2.50 a gallon Posted August 20, 2009 Posted August 20, 2009 OMG it has been a good five years since I last saw a rerun of a Muppet show. A hundred channels and nothing on
tojaz Posted August 21, 2009 Posted August 21, 2009 Well at least an open tab for the two of us tojaz! I'm in!! I've drank with a few Marines in my time, I'll try and keep up. TOJAZ
Author LisaUk Posted August 22, 2009 Author Posted August 22, 2009 LOL Lisa I was thinking after you said muppet Hey Bert, Hi Ernie! Jim Hensen was a master! LOL Love Bert and Ernie! LOL
2.50 a gallon Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 Lisa I was always partial to the Cookie Monster and Animal I had a peak at your photo. Wow, another looker! It is hard to believe your ex let you go. It can't be that he needed glasses as even a blind man could see how pretty you are. Beauty, brains and a loving giving heart. It is beyond a commitment problem. There is no hope for him, they will never find a cure.
delajoonal Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 im a little late in replying guys..gunny..tojaz... but had a few days of ...hmmmm, let's see... well , the online EA my H had 6 months ago, but ended IT.. well, IT (EA), NEVER ended! so i was having a bit of a melt down...BUT, funny thing is..it lasted the one day.... i woke up the next, with a whole new attitude...stronger than i have been in the past 6 months.... so, i am more determined THAN EVER to get out there and start living my life!!!! and yes, maybe even getting married again...and Gunny had me thinking about the military.....there are whole lot of military men that would love a doting loving wife like me! so looks like, the wedding is back on....LOL....(JK) open bar and all!.... thanks guys for always making me laugh and appreciate myself and what i DO HAVE...
delajoonal Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 p.s. gallon... that story about the gal who left her H for a big career in the city... i am sorry for her..>BUT...gives me hope that ONE day, my stobxh, will be crying in his soup...canned..NOT the soup I MAKE that he loves so much...tee hee!
tojaz Posted August 22, 2009 Posted August 22, 2009 im a little late in replying guys..gunny..tojaz... but had a few days of ...hmmmm, let's see... well , the online EA my H had 6 months ago, but ended IT.. well, IT (EA), NEVER ended! so i was having a bit of a melt down...BUT, funny thing is..it lasted the one day.... i woke up the next, with a whole new attitude...stronger than i have been in the past 6 months.... so, i am more determined THAN EVER to get out there and start living my life!!!! and yes, maybe even getting married again...and Gunny had me thinking about the military.....there are whole lot of military men that would love a doting loving wife like me! so looks like, the wedding is back on....LOL....(JK) open bar and all!.... thanks guys for always making me laugh and appreciate myself and what i DO HAVE... Damn, now I need to buy a new suit!
Auroracoladybug Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 Oh forget about the wedding we all need to have a FU to the ex, football, bbq, pool party!... 2.50 cookie monster was a bad influence on me (allways the big girl) but my son is hooked on jim hensens pajanimals lullabye (cute but annoying) and he can sing the song...I say fragle rock! lol I didn't like TV as a kid but those short shows were acceptable... Gunny and Tojaz...I would so be up to drinking with the two of you! I think Gunny and my dad could be good friends with the way he talks in his posts...(my whole family is retired SF and I am damn proud of my dad)... I don't have the baby tonight (whole nother story on my thread about that one)...I think I should drink...damn I gotta work tomorrow lol Last note: Dela you are amazing and the bouncing back proves it...you know you are worth it and you know what you want...GO GET IT!!! I think you got it just by how open you are here...I hope you get it soon too
delajoonal Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 tojaz...you're my bud...you can wear whatever you want to my wedding...LOL:D:D auro...THANK YOU for such kind words...i am trying to move forward... seems the harder i try, something wants to pull me down even harder...but i have found strength in LS and the wonderful members...friends i am made here too:D have a Great saturday nite!!!! go out..whoop it up!!! have a glass of champagne for me...w/ a strawberry...yummy!!!
tojaz Posted August 23, 2009 Posted August 23, 2009 tojaz...you're my bud...you can wear whatever you want to my wedding...LOL:D:D All right, a$$less chaps and groucho nose it is! :p:p TOJAZ
Author LisaUk Posted August 23, 2009 Author Posted August 23, 2009 Lisa I was always partial to the Cookie Monster and Animal I had a peak at your photo. Wow, another looker! It is hard to believe your ex let you go. It can't be that he needed glasses as even a blind man could see how pretty you are. Beauty, brains and a loving giving heart. It is beyond a commitment problem. There is no hope for him, they will never find a cure. Oh Yeah, COOKIE MONSTER!!!!!!!!!! ARRRGGHHHHH LOL Thank you so much for the kind words Gallon, they mean a lot! Well, my thread appears to have become a bit of a hang out, I love the fact that we are all happy and having fun together, brings a smile to my day!
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