Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 17, 2009 Author Posted March 17, 2009 Which is completely rational. Thank you, really. I just needed to hear that from someone else. I thought maybe this kind of behavior was normal in relationships. I have had 3 other LTR and this has never been an issue for me. So I thought it was strange.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 17, 2009 Author Posted March 17, 2009 Another thing that I thought was strange but maybe I am wrong is we had sex on Friday night and then again Saturday during the day. But we didn't have any sex on Saturday OR Sunday night. Thats 2 nights in a row, and we have only been together for not even 3 months! I would understand if I slept with him every night, but I don't. We only sleep together on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday usually. So it just seemed odd to me that he isn't all over me.
Ruby Slippers Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Yeah, he sounds really boring. You've been together three months and he is not putting forth any more effort than this? Wow. Personally, I wouldn't say anything at first. I'd just stop autumatically going over there on the weekend, do my own thing, and only respond if he invited me to do something concrete and fun. If he doesn't even notice you're gone, well, that gives you a clear indication of his feelings (or lack of them). Hopefully he will and he'll stop being so lame.
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 17, 2009 Posted March 17, 2009 Yeah, I'd say the next time he's parked in front of his video game it'd be, "OK, sweetie - see you later." And I'd go do my own thing. How boring. He may just be into his own habits and not realizing how he makes other people around him feel.
You'reasian Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 And to answer your question......:bunny: When he is at his computer one night, put on a sexy little number and walk up to him. Scoot his chair out and straddle him. Say, sweetie, I'm sure those little robot people are LOADS of fun for you to play with, but this real live girl wants to play now too! . I'm really liking this response My witty side wants to respond using the 'loads' part...
boxing123 Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Men have something women do not.. Hobbies. Interests outside of you. I know it hurts.. And if he quits them, then he is a boring, doormat pushover whom is too needy..
SoulSearch_CO Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Men have something women do not.. Hobbies. Interests outside of you. I know it hurts.. And if he quits them, then he is a boring, doormat pushover whom is too needy.. Um, no. The point is when the hobby becomes more important than the RELATIONSHIP. When you ignore your SO to engage in a hobby that completely shuts her out, that's when it's a problem. My BF has hobbies and I don't care. I like it about him because it's part of what made him who he is. In fact, I'm missing out on getting to see him this week because he's headed out for a guy's weekend with a couple of his buddies. No big deal - I'm happy he gets to go have fun. But if he were constantly ignoring me to engage in a hobby and not spending time on the relationship at all, then I'd be upset. There has to be a healthy balance. It's all about balance.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 Seems like she spends all weekend with him.. Which is what I said before, that I have no problem with coming over on Friday night, and leaving Saturday, or come over Saturday night and leave Sunday. I don't need to be there ALL weekend. But tell me, and we can do that instead....
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 Men have something women do not.. Hobbies. Interests outside of you. I know it hurts.. And if he quits them, then he is a boring, doormat pushover whom is too needy.. I mean I'll admit I might not have hobbies like he does, but he shouldn't completely ignore me if I am over there. I mean if we lived together then fine not a big deal. BUT I didn't see him ALL week, so thats the problem.
boxing123 Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Well be happy he wakes up early.. I dated a woman who slept A LOT. It is hard to match schedules, but all in all if he is giving you his entire weekend, I am sure he is very interested.. Men do have hobbies more often than women.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 Well be happy he wakes up early.. I dated a woman who slept A LOT. It is hard to match schedules, but all in all if he is giving you his entire weekend, I am sure he is very interested.. Men do have hobbies more often than women. I agree men have more hobbies than women. I actually don't really have any real hobbies, I'll admit that. I sleep more than he does. I like to sleep in on the weekends. He can't sleep in, he is up at 6:30-7. But even when I am awake he still plays his videogames.... after dinner he went and played videogames... I mean I just think before the 3 month mark that it was kind of strange, and makes me feel like he isn't interested in me.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 Men have something women do not.. Hobbies. Interests outside of you. I know it hurts.. And if he quits them, then he is a boring, doormat pushover whom is too needy.. You see I'm not asking him to quit his hobbies. Thats fine with me, he can have all the hobbies he wants, go out without me, I don't care. But if I am over he just makes me feel like I am not even there. I mean he does sweet things every now and then. But overall I just feel like he isn't all into me. Its hard to explain, its just a feeling I get.
boxing123 Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Well, I think video games are a complete waste of time, so I might be biased. If I were a female, I would not date any MAN who plays video games. But that is what he likes to do. I would be honest and tell him you are bored while he plays video games. But atleast he is around.. Many men hunt/fish/play sports/go to the gym/fix cars/build things all weekend, so it could be worse.
carhill Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Hey, OP, just give him a BJ while he's playing the game and walk away. If he doesn't follow you, dump him
Trialbyfire Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Yeah, he sounds really boring. You've been together three months and he is not putting forth any more effort than this? Wow. Personally, I wouldn't say anything at first. I'd just stop autumatically going over there on the weekend, do my own thing, and only respond if he invited me to do something concrete and fun. If he doesn't even notice you're gone, well, that gives you a clear indication of his feelings (or lack of them). Hopefully he will and he'll stop being so lame. Yup, boring. It sounds like he's really disconnected. I would feel like part of the furniture if my SO were to pull that on me. It's one thing if he's working and another if he spends the entire time not looking to interact, except when he's feeling in the mood, which, within a 3 month relationship, shouldn't be so few and far between, unless he's 60 years old. Candygirl, the two of you are light-years apart. Find yourself a man who's interested in a grown-up relationship.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 Hey, OP, just give him a BJ while he's playing the game and walk away. If he doesn't follow you, dump him LOL great idea No but seriously it really is a problem, and I am just dreading having to bring this up the next time I am over there. My friend said I should just say something about this feeling forced, and I don't want to change him if thats how he is, but we are just not compatiable. I mean I don't want to break up with him, if he is willing it do something different than great. But I don't know how to bring it up without sounding like I am breaking up with him.
You'reasian Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Well, if it makes you feel any better I don't own any game systems. I haven't had time for them.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 Yup, boring. It sounds like he's really disconnected. I would feel like part of the furniture if my SO were to pull that on me. It's one thing if he's working and another if he spends the entire time not looking to interact, except when he's feeling in the mood, which, within a 3 month relationship, shouldn't be so few and far between, unless he's 60 years old. Candygirl, the two of you are light-years apart. Find yourself a man who's interested in a grown-up relationship. Yeah, I am seriously just going to give up. Maybe thats for the best. I mean I am in my late 20's, I am not getting any younger here.
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 Well' date=' if it makes you feel any better I don't own any game systems. I haven't had time for them.[/quote'] Hmm age and location?
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 It just makes me feel like he finds ME boring. All these things go through my head like, maybe if he found me more attractive, maybe if I had more friends that we could go out with more, maybe this, maybe that, just drives me crazy!
carhill Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 It's not about you, it's about his interest in you. FWIW, I show more interest than that in my wife and we live in separate houses. Get a grip on YOU. I thought my BJ challenge was a pretty good one. If he's interested in you, he'll love it and follow you. If he's not, and doesn't, then just leave and go NC. Nice going away present. Hmm....now that's an idea....
Author CandyGirlXO Posted March 18, 2009 Author Posted March 18, 2009 It's not about you, it's about his interest in you. FWIW, I show more interest than that in my wife and we live in separate houses. Get a grip on YOU. I thought my BJ challenge was a pretty good one. If he's interested in you, he'll love it and follow you. If he's not, and doesn't, then just leave and go NC. Nice going away present. Hmm....now that's an idea.... LOL yeah besides the fact that if I leave, I STILL have to see him Monday-Friday........
You'reasian Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Hmm age and location? I'm truly flattered, CandyGirl I'll add that I'm in pretty good shape and am a decent cook , but I think it would be a long-distance thing, more often than not. Seriously, I think you can get your man to pay attention to you.
Trialbyfire Posted March 18, 2009 Posted March 18, 2009 Historically, did you guys need your SOs to make you pay attention to them within a three month relationship or did you do it automatically, since you were interested in interacting with them?
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