Dexter Morgan Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 You also only see one side, too. I am the cheater. Yep, I am. You got it!!! and with your attitude, you always will be. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostsoulmate Posted February 11, 2009 Author Share Posted February 11, 2009 As an x-BS, I'd say the selfish thing would be to stay with your mindset and lack of loyalty to him. I'd rather my xW would have left me instead of wasting years of my life. So I should just leave? I am not worthy... of Dexter Morgan. Boo-hoo. Link to post Share on other sites
Dexter Morgan Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 So I should just leave? With your current mindset, yes. I am not worthy... of Dexter Morgan. Boo-hoo. This is another reason to leave and set him free. You are childish. You are really showing your ass now. Keep it up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostsoulmate Posted February 11, 2009 Author Share Posted February 11, 2009 With your current mindset, yes. This is another reason to leave and set him free. You are childish. You are really showing your ass now. Keep it up. DM- I will keep up my spirits up. Thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted February 11, 2009 Share Posted February 11, 2009 Lostsoulmate, I do not only see one side. Im trying to see what you are doing different. Everything from your post makes you out to be a person who runs or ignores their problems. You can not build a new relationship on a lie. Your bf is trying to solve a puzzle with a few pieces missing. You need to be honest, otherwise you will have this for the rest of your life. You are putting to much of the responsibility on your bf but yet you refuse to tell him the truth. Im sorry but you staying and lying is the selfish thing. Its not like you can just up and leave when you have a daughter to worry about. You acting selfish in your relationship. Look, if you really can not tell him the truth, then don't marry him. At least give him that much respect. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostsoulmate Posted February 11, 2009 Author Share Posted February 11, 2009 Lostsoulmate, I do not only see one side. Im trying to see what you are doing different. Everything from your post makes you out to be a person who runs or ignores their problems. You can not build a new relationship on a lie. Your bf is trying to solve a puzzle with a few pieces missing. You need to be honest, otherwise you will have this for the rest of your life. You are putting to much of the responsibility on your bf but yet you refuse to tell him the truth. Im sorry but you staying and lying is the selfish thing. Its not like you can just up and leave when you have a daughter to worry about. You acting selfish in your relationship. Look, if you really can not tell him the truth, then don't marry him. At least give him that much respect. lkjh- I wondered when you would come back. I stayed with him when I found out I was pregnant. Didn't run then, when I should have. Too bad it took me telling him I wanted to leave to figure out that he should try. I think if I up and left, took my daughter with me, so "I" could be happy that would be the selfish thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
electric_sheep Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Jumping on to the end of this one... My mom stayed with my dad supposedly for me and my sister, and it was a terrible message to send, if you ask me. Spend a lifetime unhappy ostensibly for "us"? As if we wouldn't be able to tell? Children deserve to be in a happy and loving family environment as much as anyone else. Biology is overrated. Create a happy, worthwhile, and enriching life for you and your children, whatever that entails and however possible... that's the best message to send, if you ask me. If you can't do that with the man your with now, then I think you should seriously consider moving on. Just make sure you are being honest with yourself and your decision isn't impulsive. Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Staying with him because you were pregnant wasn't harder then leaving. Leaving while pregnant and trying to raise a baby on your own would have been 10x harder. Im having trouble seeing the unselfishness of your actions. Im not saying staying it was selfish but it was definitely the easiest thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Well according to Oprah , only 7 % of men will admit to cheating . The remainder will lie until forced or put under the lie detector. I imagine for women ( cheaters ) it must be simlilar. Lie until you have it choked out of you. OP its a dead horse that you cheated. Admitting it can be something that never happens. The doc on the show said admitting adultry is like winning the lottery. Not really going to happen .... Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Well according to Oprah , only 7 % of men will admit to cheating . The remainder will lie until forced or put under the lie detector. I imagine for women ( cheaters ) it must be simlilar. Lie until you have it choked out of you. OP its a dead horse that you cheated. Admitting it can be something that never happens. The doc on the show said admitting adultry is like winning the lottery. Not really going to happen .... This may come as a shocker but Oprah is not all knowing! Also, you can find doctors on all different points of view. Some say don't tell and some say tell. Please don't live you life by what a talk show host tells you. Think for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 This may come as a shocker but Oprah is not all knowing! Also, you can find doctors on all different points of view. Some say don't tell and some say tell. Please don't live you life by what a talk show host tells you. Think for yourself. Excuse me . Let me correct myself. The above information was given by the Doctor / Psychologist who wrote a book about Cheating and has been studying cheating behaviors for many years. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lostsoulmate Posted February 13, 2009 Author Share Posted February 13, 2009 Jumping on to the end of this one... My mom stayed with my dad supposedly for me and my sister, and it was a terrible message to send, if you ask me. Spend a lifetime unhappy ostensibly for "us"? As if we wouldn't be able to tell? Children deserve to be in a happy and loving family environment as much as anyone else. Biology is overrated. Create a happy, worthwhile, and enriching life for you and your children, whatever that entails and however possible... that's the best message to send, if you ask me. If you can't do that with the man your with now, then I think you should seriously consider moving on. Just make sure you are being honest with yourself and your decision isn't impulsive. ES- Thank you for your input. It means a lot. Link to post Share on other sites
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