MindoverMatter Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 While sure, I took some side-swipe when the SAHMs got rigid but overall, there's no right or wrong about each woman's choice. It's annoying when people are trapped in their own thinking, unable to see that there are other choices out there. This is the martyr syndrome I spoke of, one that relies on guilt and uses the "selfish" comments to push other women towards non-feasible solutions for them. When you started the side-swipes at BO she had not only admitted that there were people who could do it all, but also stated that her opinion only applied to herself. But anything other than fully agreeing to you was not acceptable, I guess. The "hotter" discussion came after your attempts of belittling others. It seems therefore that you are the one trapped in your own thinking. And that is sad. I am sure you will provide for your future children. Maybe you will never have to deal with the temper tantrums and teething agony because nanny will take of it. And your children will love you anyway. But your reality is just one of many and you shouldn't assume you know everything about everybody else. Basing an evaluation about some other poster's entire parenting style on one single phone call is not very scientific, nor clever, for example. That's a low shot. On the other hand, I think that labelling working parents as selfish goes too far. I stand by what I said earlier: everything comes with a price, and in the case of working parents the price is losing time with your children that you will never get back. How I will do as a parent? We'll see. I have years of experience as a babysitter of several children at the same time. I used to do something like boy/girl scout leader. I have cared for children without their parents for days at a time. But I don't feel qualified to say how I'll be as a parent, because I know that I can't predict the future. And I hope an open attitude will help me cope with the challenges.
Touche Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Pawning? I think not. We're talking about an experienced nanny, one who has more childcare experience under her belt than your average SAHM. Yes, pawning. When your kids spend more time with someone else than they do with you you are pawning them off. This is so crazy. Why even have kids?
amaysngrace Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Don't stereotype all women. I can if I want. I think any woman who does not have to work and works anyway is neglecting her main job in life. Sure the hours are long and the pay is lousy but it is the most rewarding job in the world. You can't understand that TBF because you don't have children. You have never experienced the love at first sight of your newborn baby. You have never experienced having that baby grow inside you and know it depends on you for it's very existence. Because that is basically when that maternal instinct begins. So please don't say what you will or will not do, how you will or will not feel because it is merely speculation at this point. You don't have maternal instinct. You speak of things you do not know. What's worse is you are intent on arguing with those who do.
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Yes, pawning. When your kids spend more time with someone else than they do with you you are pawning them off. This is so crazy. Why even have kids? I can if I want. I think any woman who does not have to work and works anyway is neglecting her main job in life. Sure the hours are long and the pay is lousy but it is the most rewarding job in the world. You can't understand that TBF because you don't have children. You have never experienced the love at first sight of your newborn baby. You have never experienced having that baby grow inside you and know it depends on you for it's very existence. Because that is basically when that maternal instinct begins. So please don't say what you will or will not do, how you will or will not feel because it is merely speculation at this point. You don't have maternal instinct. You speak of things you do not know. What's worse is you are intent on arguing with those who do. Both of you are SAHMs because you want to be. Good for you. It's neither the only option or necessarily the best option for everyone. What part of this can't you understand? Is this a difficult concept? I think not! Women aren't all alike. Some can multi-task better than others. That's life and I stand behind any woman who wants to make her own choices in life without ramming my beliefs down their throats as to "best choice". This is so ridiculous. You two don't even know what it's like to have a real career. Sheesh!
Dumbledore Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 When you started the side-swipes at BO she had not only admitted that there were people who could do it all, but also stated that her opinion only applied to herself. But anything other than fully agreeing to you was not acceptable, I guess. Enormous egos need constant feeding. The "hotter" discussion came after your attempts of belittling others. It seems therefore that you are the one trapped in your own thinking.The methods are certainly crude and unsophisticated.
amaysngrace Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 You two don't even know what it's like to have a real career. You assume incorrectly. I gave up my career to stay at home. TWICE.
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 You assume incorrectly. I gave up my career to stay at home. TWICE.Oh? What kind of job did you do?
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 I'm waiting amaysn. What kind of job did you do?
amaysngrace Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Oh? What kind of job did you do? Do you really care?
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Do you really care? Yes, it makes a big difference if it was a job or a career.
amaysngrace Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Yes, it makes a big difference if it was a job or a career. It would have been my career TBF. It would have been the place I retired from.
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 It would have been my career TBF. It would have been the place I retired from. What was it? Did you honestly love it or was it a meal ticket?
amaysngrace Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 What was it? Did you honestly love it or was it a meal ticket? No it wasn't a meal ticket. It was what I wanted to do. I wish I could go back but ten years later makes it tough. Things change in ten years. So yes I know what it's like to choose. I speak of what I know. Unlike yourself.
Touche Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Both of you are SAHMs because you want to be. Good for you. It's neither the only option or necessarily the best option for everyone. What part of this can't you understand? Is this a difficult concept? I think not! Women aren't all alike. Some can multi-task better than others. That's life and I stand behind any woman who wants to make her own choices in life without ramming my beliefs down their throats as to "best choice". This is so ridiculous. You two don't even know what it's like to have a real career. Sheesh! You think raising a child is a matter of "multi-tasking?" Is that like sharpening your pencil, talking on the phone and posting on LS all at the same time? Uhm, yeah. It's just like that. If you can "multi-task" like that you can be successful at raising a child. Hahaha! Yep, I never had a career. So funny. I not only didn't have one career, I've had two. My last job was great. I've talked about it on here. I was a branch manager for a staffing agency. It was extremely stressful and had I not had a child to be responsible for, I'd probably still be working for that company. I kept moving up through the ranks. When I left I had over 100 people working under me. But so what? My child and family came first and always will. What part of this don't you understand? No one, said that my way is the only way. It's just the only for ME. It's the only for US as a family. Do you realize that you're rejecting your own parent's way of doing things? I respect them. Do you? And again, I don't "ram" my beliefs or ways of doing thing down anyone's throats. What do I care what anyone else does? I don't. But again, I have my views. If you don't like them or agree with them, that's ok. I'm fine with that.
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 No it wasn't a meal ticket. It was what I wanted to do. I wish I could go back but ten years later makes it tough. Things change in ten years. So yes I know what it's like to choose. I speak of what I know. Unlike yourself. What was it? Why are you so determined to hide the job?
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 My last job was great. I've talked about it on here. I was a branch manager for a staffing agency. It was extremely stressful and had I not had a child to be responsible for, I'd probably still be working for that company. I kept moving up through the ranks. When I left I had over 100 people working under me. Branch manager for a staffing agency is not a real career. It's a job.
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Branch manager for a staffing agency is not a real career. It's a job. To add to that, Touche, you hated the job. A pretty easy job to give up for you...
MindoverMatter Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Branch manager for a staffing agency is not a real career. It's a job. Talking about ramming down opinions down other people's throats. Wow. I always held you in high regards, TBF, and I am very surprised at what I read here.
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Come on amaysn, what kind of illustrious career did you give up twice, for the "good" of your family? Don't want to say? Okay, don't bother. For someone who claims that "all women" want to stay home, how can you even pretend that you "gave" up your job for your children? You gave it up to stay at home with your children because YOU wanted to do so.
amaysngrace Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 What was it? Why are you so determined to hide the job? Which one? I left the casino during my second pregnancy. I could have advanced in there but my heart wasn't in it because it wasn't conducive to having children. The hours were crazy. Holidays were theirs. If I wanted to become anything in that casino I could have became it. As it stands I am able to return there if I want. But the hours are still the same and it is still not in agreement with having children. The second one was what I went to college for. I was asked by the judge repeatedly to come and work there. It was in Civil Service. Are you satisfied now? Oh that's right. It's you. You are never satisified. Silly me.
Trialbyfire Posted February 2, 2009 Posted February 2, 2009 Talking about ramming down opinions down other people's throats. Wow. I always held you in high regards, TBF, and I am very surprised at what I read here. Keep reading. It's going to get worse unless these pretend "career" women turned SAHM can stop playing b/s games.
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