LakesideDream Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Skin, You need to stop worrying about things that haven't happened yet. You are beginning to live dreading the next shoe falling. I know it's difficult, especially if you are one of those people who make lots of plans. You do need to make an effort to let things come to you. Some of those things won't turn out being bad. Some may actually end up being good. Your continual fretting about whats in the near future is causing you a great deal of stess that doesen't need to be felt. Dreading your daughters belt ceremony adds dozens of bad momemts to what may turn out to be a great thing. Let it happen before you judge. The world is a lot like a minefield. Some people can walk right through, never knowing it's there. Others step on a mine somewhere in between. Don't live like your next step may be your last. There is no way to avoid the pain and suffering you go through before you finally come out the other side. At least that's what I'm told. I've been going through one travail or another for the past 7+ years. After the first couple of years those travails had nothing to do with my now ex wife other than the obvious hole in my existance that erasing 25 years of life, love and seeming happiness creates. I make my own decisions now. I alone am responsible for my actions. I am also responsible for my state of mind. I choose not to worry, fret, or blame the past for the present. At some point you will reach that place to. You have alluded to a "first marriage"... I'm suprised you didn't learn all this the first time. Luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Melatonin is the natural substance that regulates our "sleep-cycle" and our bodies naturally produce it. Except our bodies produce less of it as we age, and find ourselves under stress. Airline pilots that fly the "Red-Eye" from the East Coast to the West Coast and vice versa use it to "re-set" their bio-logical clocks from one coast to the next. Its over the counter, non-prescrition, and can be found in most vitaimin and supplemts sections of WalMart and most pharmcies. It doesn't "knock you out" About twenty minutes after taking it, your eyes will begin to water, and you will begin to yawn. It won't prevent you from waking up to take care of a child, It does calm you, and relaxes your thoughts about whatever issues your dealing with. You will dream, (even weird dreams) ~ but they say if you don't dream you will go insane. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Thing is LakeSide is you and I have learned not to sweat the small stuff ~ and its ALL small stuff! Its like a grazzele that's gotten bitten by a lion, who's ripped half his hindquarters off! "F**K IT! I'm ALIVE!" Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Melatonin is the natural substance that regulates our "sleep-cycle" and our bodies naturally produce it. Except our bodies produce less of it as we age, and find ourselves under stress. Airline pilots that fly the "Red-Eye" from the East Coast to the West Coast and vice versa use it to "re-set" their bio-logical clocks from one coast to the next. Its over the counter, non-prescrition, and can be found in most vitaimin and supplemts sections of WalMart and most pharmcies. It doesn't "knock you out" About twenty minutes after taking it, your eyes will begin to water, and you will begin to yawn. It won't prevent you from waking up to take care of a child, It does calm you, and relaxes your thoughts about whatever issues your dealing with. You will dream, (even weird dreams) ~ but they say if you don't dream you will go insane. Guns, After a few years of reading your testimonials about this meletonin stuff I'm going to Wally World and score some. It was the dream thing that got me. Sounds like fun! It's holiday time again. Everybody's boots are made for walking. I've read thread after thread today and it seems like everyone is walking. I don't get it. Life is obviously treating you well, which is good. I'm OK too. The rest of the world is in chaos. Since we've talked the economy has tanked, politics are up in the air, and there's panic everywhere. Not in my house or yours though. We know how deep a hole has to be eh? Give em hell Guns, Link to post Share on other sites
pelicanpreacher Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Right now your wife is your drug of addiction. No, you won't go into the shakes of a heroin addict but there are still biochemical factors at play driving your emotions that will take some time to resolve themselves as you return to a state of equilibrium. You do, however, have some measure of control over how deeply you are affected at any given time through practicing mind strengthening excercises to discipline and center yourself. You might consider taking a yoga class to help you cope for any activity that will relax, strengthen, focus, and discipline your mind will give you the ability to control and conquer the tempests of your inner child whether asleep or awake! Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted December 3, 2008 Author Share Posted December 3, 2008 You have alluded to a "first marriage"... I'm suprised you didn't learn all this the first time. Luck to you. Thanks LakesideDream, Yes I was married prior to this but we were so young it only lasted a few years at that... I did learn a few things from it but I didnt have as much time and effort invested in it that I do with this marriage. I know I need to try and stop worrying about things that haven't even happened yet but I have always been one to worry... I worry about my kids and how this has effected them... how do you train your mind to let go of stuff... ? I am constantly thinking of her and when a thought pops into my head I try and push it away by thinking of something else... Sometimes it works more times it doesn't... I know I am creating more pain for myself than she is giving me but its so hard to let go.... As hard as I try to be bitter and angry with her I think of all the good times we had and small stuff like that and my anger goes away and sorrow replaces it... last night I lay awake again thinking about the house.. thinking how things are going to get ugly and nastier before they get better.. As lakesidedream said it will get worse before it gets better.. I know that is going to be the case in my situation.. I appreciate all the advice about the Melatonin going to get some this evening... well no since worrying anymore today... here it is 6:05 and I have been up already for 3 hours.... its going to be another long day.. thanks again guys !! Skin Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Thanks LakesideDream, Yes I was married prior to this but we were so young it only lasted a few years at that... I did learn a few things from it but I didnt have as much time and effort invested in it that I do with this marriage. I know I need to try and stop worrying about things that haven't even happened yet but I have always been one to worry... I worry about my kids and how this has effected them... how do you train your mind to let go of stuff... ? I am constantly thinking of her and when a thought pops into my head I try and push it away by thinking of something else... Sometimes it works more times it doesn't... I know I am creating more pain for myself than she is giving me but its so hard to let go.... As hard as I try to be bitter and angry with her I think of all the good times we had and small stuff like that and my anger goes away and sorrow replaces it... last night I lay awake again thinking about the house.. thinking how things are going to get ugly and nastier before they get better.. As lakesidedream said it will get worse before it gets better.. I know that is going to be the case in my situation.. I appreciate all the advice about the Melatonin going to get some this evening... well no since worrying anymore today... here it is 6:05 and I have been up already for 3 hours.... its going to be another long day.. thanks again guys !! Skin Ah, a question with an answer. I did "train" my mind, although I didn't know it at the time. After months of living every hour of every day being sad that my live was ruined, empty, wasted, unhappy.... I had enough of it. I made the decision to only think about it for an hour when I woke up. It turns out that thinking about that stuff for an hour was very difficlut. Soon it was a half hour. More managable? That lasted for awhile. Maybe 4-6 months. Then 15 minutes, a few more months. Then ten, a few days... because I didn't want to think about it anyore. After a couple of years it never came into my mind on it's own. When adult childrens "business" caused contact, I wasn't emotionally engaged with my ex at all. And yes I had the satisfaction of realizing that it bugged her. To this day, I am only bitter about the two and a half decades wasted/stolen. The rest of it has faded into impotency. Try something similar. Set a pity schedule and keep to it. You will start living again I hope. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted December 3, 2008 Author Share Posted December 3, 2008 Try something similar. Set a pity schedule and keep to it. You will start living again I hope. Thanks LakesideDream... of all the advice I have received on here that would seem to be the wisest so far... The concept of setting a limit to my thoughts never crossed my mind... I guess it couldn't with all the other stuff going on inside... I appreciate the advice... today hasn't been all that bad... after texting her last night and being ignored I do believe that I am pissed...so with that hopefully indifference will be next !! I sure want to start living again... It has been a slow process but I know the road is still long and will have many mountains and hills to cross before I find peace in all of this.. I am gratefull that people like yourself care enough to offer encouragement and advice... Best Wishes.... Skin Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 Thanks LakesideDream... of all the advice I have received on here that would seem to be the wisest so far... The concept of setting a limit to my thoughts never crossed my mind... I guess it couldn't with all the other stuff going on inside... I appreciate the advice... today hasn't been all that bad... after texting her last night and being ignored I do believe that I am pissed...so with that hopefully indifference will be next !! I sure want to start living again... It has been a slow process but I know the road is still long and will have many mountains and hills to cross before I find peace in all of this.. I am gratefull that people like yourself care enough to offer encouragement and advice... Best Wishes.... Skin Skin, Please don't look at your future travails as mountains and hills to cross. Believe me, that's not what you are facing. IMO mountains and hills would be easy. Using geographical metaphors you are at the edge of a vast desert you must cross. Very little water, food, shelter available. What there is you will have to be resourceful to discover, and harbor. It's not a climb or a sprint, it's a drudge. It will be a victory when you put one foot in front of the other for a whole day before passing out from the effort. When you look back on the journey/ordeal you will realize, as I have that it's something you don't ever want to do again, and proceed accordingly. I have become a cautious person in my old age ! Relax, have a fruit cup, and enjoy the evening. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted December 4, 2008 Author Share Posted December 4, 2008 When you look back on the journey/ordeal you will realize, as I have that it's something you don't ever want to do again, and proceed accordingly. I have become a cautious person in my old age ! Relax, have a fruit cup, and enjoy the evening. I know what you mean... I am trying to remain optimistic that this will all be over soon enough and I will be a much better person from the experience.. Like you I have my doubts wheter or not i will be able to fully let myself go to another woman.. I will have lost one house when this is over and I dont plan on losing my next one... Not to mention tha pain knowing that someone whom you thought you knew .. someone who you thought loved you could do or say the things that she has said to me tearing out what heart I have left for the sake of justifying her actions. With my first marriage we didnt have a pot to piss in so there wasn't as much a sense of loss... But this one is different I have busted my A$$ for close to 16 years giving that woman a better life......... and for what.. just to lose half of my stuff in one fell swoop..... I guess you could say that I am getting a tad bit bitter over this.... I hope my situation is somewhat different from your in the fact that it doesn't get to ugly.. or any uglier than it has already gotten... But I will be prepared one way or the other.......... life has a way of knocking you back down a couple pegs just when you think everything is going great..... I was happy, content still had a good job then this all happened... Something out of my control... well that will not be the case again.. once I have control of my life back I will never let another woman come in and rock my foundation.... If I do love again... It will be between 2 houses....hers and MINE..... Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 Skin, You may have overestimated my meaning. Being cautious doesen't mean being closed off to oppertunity, or purposefully limiting my success horizon. Being cautious means having patience, being sure, not hoping things will work out instead of working to make it that way. In my perfect world I will live happily ever after in a relationship where I'm happy, even driven to give 100% every day and night. I'm a little older Skin. I don't have to worry about kids, or other distractions. I'm really not concerned about finances, or Real Estate, or other unimportant accoutermond. All it takes to be happy is enough to eat and drink, a comfortable place to live, and enough security to maintain a comfortable (not opulant) lifestyle. Anything more is gravy to be enjoyed not hoarded. I can see the mountains from my desert Skin. With a little luck, and a lot of patience I'll get there yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted December 4, 2008 Author Share Posted December 4, 2008 Well you are right... I guess when I posted last night I wasn't in the best of moods.. I dont think that I will close myself off from being loved again but like you said very cautious and patient with whomever may come my way.... I dont see myself anytime soon searching out someone to replace my wife but I will leave the window open for that special person.... Maybe she will come maybe not but I must first learn how to make myself happy again... Something that I have struggled with for so long. My happiness wasn't a concern during my marriage... my family came first and foremost in my life......... As for the materialistic things I worked hard to get where I was..... I want to own another house after all of this is through.. I put a lot of blood sweat and tears into making my home "my castle"... Giving my wife and family a place that they could be proud of....And I will admit that it hurts... hurts bad knowing that I will have to sell the place that I had built for "us" and someone else will reap the benefits of all my hard work... I wouldn't consider myself materialistic by any means but the "american dream" is to own a home.... I did and now I am living in a basement because of my wifes decision........ As for what makes me happy.... I dont know, that is still a work in progress but so far during this time I do know that being alone isn't one of them...... I still need to find what will truly make me happy... another woman ? I dont know at this point... maybe , maybe not but there is a lot of work to still be done on myself so that should keep me occupied for a while........... thanks again LakesideDream... Link to post Share on other sites
Confused9 Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 As for what makes me happy.... I dont know, that is still a work in progress but so far during this time I do know that being alone isn't one of them...... I still need to find what will truly make me happy... another woman ? I dont know at this point... maybe , maybe not but there is a lot of work to still be done on myself so that should keep me occupied for a while........... quote] SKin, I know you think that being alone is the root of your unhappiness but it isn't. The demise of your marriage is, the fear of change, the uncertainty of the future. I mean...you had this plan with this woman, your future was mapped out, now it's all up in the air and that is fecking scary. I just don't want you to focus and be so caught up in the fact that you are alone and you don't like it. In retrospect, aren't we all alone? I mean, eventually we are the one's we end up with 'forever'. It's almost like you're (meaning all of us) having an identity crisis when you go through a divorce or break-up. It's like if I am not XX's wife, husband, fiance, whatever, than who am I? That is what I think is the shock to most of us because we have put so much of ourselves in to this relationship and all major decisions were made together and now it's like wait a minute...it's all me and that is so hard to get used to. Plus, we're not sure who the h*ll we are if we aren't XX's spouse. Being alone for the first I'd say 9 months was brutal, but now I LOVE my freedom. As I've said in many posts I am darn lonely and do want to be someone's 'better' half one day but for now I need to work on me. Last year was such a transitional year. I really don't think you can begin to realize what you want or even think about what you want in another person until the smoke clears and you are able to honestly move on from this. Then you can consider thinking about a new relationship. Jumping in to a relationship is just like setting yourself up for disaster and I honestly believe that's why a lot of relationships fail. People are so caught up with the thought of 'if I am alone there is something wrong with me' or 'if I am not married by such and such date I am going to be alone forever' and I think that is why a lot of people settle, or marry for the wrong reasons and end up alone in the end or until the next mr/mrs right now. But, again, they are doing it for fear of being alone not for the fear of being without the specific person they chose. Some people literally can't live without each other and those are the one's we see 'happily ever after' but they waited for the right one. Or maybe they are just lucky? People are so consumed with the need to find a companion. I am guilty of this too. It's almost like if you aren't part of a couple you are doomed, but that's not true. It's better to be with someoen else but for the right reasons and due to love not convenience or the fear of being alone. You know what, this post became so much different than my initial thought of my response and I am sorry if I went off a bit. Maybe I needed to write this becasue I was feeling down that I haven't found anyone yet, but writing it made me feel better. In any event, there is so much you have in front of you. So much pain and anger and saddness to get through. Being alone is the least of your worries. If your wife has found someone else than that's her thing. This isn't a race and you need to come to terms with the fact that it isn't about that. She is goign to do what she is going to do and you can't control that. BUTTTTTTTTTTTT...you can control whatever it is you do and now you can do what you want. I am sure there were parts of you that weren't fufilled by your relationship - things you liked to do for fun...things you wanted to do but couldn't...those are the things you should be focusing on and thinking about. Those are the things that can turn this feeling of hopelessness around. You need to have things to look forward to and take your mind off this. Unfortunatly, at least for me, for the first 10 months of the breakup I was so consumed with the pain, questions, thoughts, and HIS new life that I didn't pay attention to mine and just sort of went through life not really do anything. Today, that's not the case. I am doing things I want to do and having fun doing it. It's going to take time to get here. But, it's up to you when you let go of her and start focusing on you. Some do this rather quickly others don't. I really feel for you and hope this situation brings you a much better life. I hope for that for all of us here on LS. It is so scary to think that this pain may not bring us somethign worthwhile but I guess 'it's all what we make it'. Hang in there Skin... Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted December 5, 2008 Author Share Posted December 5, 2008 I really feel for you and hope this situation brings you a much better life. I hope for that for all of us here on LS. It is so scary to think that this pain may not bring us somethign worthwhile but I guess 'it's all what we make it'. Hang in there Skin... well my eyes have just be opened... I had a long conversation with my STBXW... its funny that is the first time I have written that but ater the conversation I know now that my marriage is indeed over.. in fact it has been over for years and i never realized it.. my wife informed me that she shut down years ago and no matter what I do say or change she will not go back to what we had before.... she is moving forward...I think this conversation is what i really needed to let go and move on with my life... its sad that all this time I was so blind to the pain that I was causing my wife... living in my fantasy world thinking everything was going great in fact she was living in misery wanting out but my insistence each time kept her around... I feel sorry for what I have done to my wife whom I have loved dearly but didnt take the time to really listen and hear her pleas for help... I have wasted many years of her life and for that I cannot forgive myself..... how was I so blind to see all the pain that I have put her through... slowly her love and respect for me dying along with the marriage.... thanks everyone for following me through this thread... I guess now I will have to deal with the upcoming divorce knowing that I could never keep my wife any longer....... and to set the record straight.... there isn't anyone else... she left because of me...... Link to post Share on other sites
Confused9 Posted December 5, 2008 Share Posted December 5, 2008 Skin, how is this all your fault??? Please expalin this to me. Link to post Share on other sites
LostHusband Posted December 5, 2008 Share Posted December 5, 2008 Skin it is not your fault. You will come to realize this. They all say the same thing - placing the blame on you to relieve their guilt. Trust me I thought the same thing but I have realized the fault was not with me, it was with her and her inability to find happiness within herself. Nobody should rely on somebody else to be happy - and if they think they do, then they will never be truly happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted December 5, 2008 Author Share Posted December 5, 2008 Skin, how is this all your fault??? Please expalin this to me. Confused9, there are so many things that I could point to as being the cause for this but you are right... Its not totaly my fault.. I had built up a wall of anger and resentment towards her for her lack of intimacy lack of compasion and lack of respect for me... It was hard hearing her point of view last night, hearing how she pleaded with me many times to try and change my attitude and behavior towards her but it got to the point of seeing who could build their "Wall" higher than the other... I know that I could have shown her how I really felt and how much in fact I did love her but my ego and pride would not allow that seeing how she witheld the affection that i needed... It was like a domino effect the more bitter I became the more she held back and let go.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted December 5, 2008 Author Share Posted December 5, 2008 Skin it is not your fault. You will come to realize this. They all say the same thing - placing the blame on you to relieve their guilt. Trust me I thought the same thing but I have realized the fault was not with me, it was with her and her inability to find happiness within herself. Nobody should rely on somebody else to be happy - and if they think they do, then they will never be truly happy. Thanks LH, I guess your right that I wasn't totaly to blame.. I know I had my part in the end of my marriage and there were things I could have done better.. Its still sad seeing close to 16 years end the way it did... she told me that I am in the back of her life and she is moving forward... never looking back... When I wrote this last night i had just gotten off the phone with her and my emotions were still pretty whacked out but ater lying in bed thinking back on the while thing I know I was not the sole reason it ended.. I know that I will need to forgive myself for my part in the marriage and with time I hope to learn a great deal about the changes that I need to make within... Link to post Share on other sites
sumdude Posted December 5, 2008 Share Posted December 5, 2008 win fact it has been over for years and i never realized it.. my wife informed me that she shut down years ago and no matter what I do say or change she will not go back to what we had before.... she is moving forward...I think this conversation is what i really needed to let go and move on with my life... and to set the record straight.... there isn't anyone else... she left because of me...... You can't believe everything she's saying. There's a big rewriting of the past to justify the present going on. Link to post Share on other sites
TrustInYourself Posted December 5, 2008 Share Posted December 5, 2008 well my eyes have just be opened... I had a long conversation with my STBXW... its funny that is the first time I have written that but ater the conversation I know now that my marriage is indeed over.. in fact it has been over for years and i never realized it.. my wife informed me that she shut down years ago and no matter what I do say or change she will not go back to what we had before.... she is moving forward...I think this conversation is what i really needed to let go and move on with my life... its sad that all this time I was so blind to the pain that I was causing my wife... living in my fantasy world thinking everything was going great in fact she was living in misery wanting out but my insistence each time kept her around... I feel sorry for what I have done to my wife whom I have loved dearly but didnt take the time to really listen and hear her pleas for help... I have wasted many years of her life and for that I cannot forgive myself..... how was I so blind to see all the pain that I have put her through... slowly her love and respect for me dying along with the marriage.... thanks everyone for following me through this thread... I guess now I will have to deal with the upcoming divorce knowing that I could never keep my wife any longer....... and to set the record straight.... there isn't anyone else... she left because of me...... Yeah, what of it. Is that a limitation? Even if it was all you, what is the path ahead. You can't let these little outbursts and revisions even touch your emotional state. At least in front of her. Man up bud! Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted December 5, 2008 Author Share Posted December 5, 2008 Yeah, what of it. Is that a limitation? Even if it was all you, what is the path ahead. You can't let these little outbursts and revisions even touch your emotional state. At least in front of her. Man up bud! your right TIY, I know it wasn't all my fault she has only seen things her way... I guess what I was trying to say in my post is that It will be easier to let go know of any hope that I was holding onto... She told me that she has avoided contact with me because she didnt want to seem nice and me take it as things might work... so for whats its worth my heart still aches but I know that she had a big part of the marriage failing.... She hasn't done anything to change herself she feels by getting away from me she will be all right... so more power to you babe !!! I let her know that i did indeed love her and hope to work things out but I wasnt going to wait around while she decides what she wants.... as of now its not me...... so I will move forward and only worry about myself and my girls !!! Link to post Share on other sites
TrustInYourself Posted December 5, 2008 Share Posted December 5, 2008 your right TIY, I know it wasn't all my fault she has only seen things her way... I guess what I was trying to say in my post is that It will be easier to let go know of any hope that I was holding onto... She told me that she has avoided contact with me because she didnt want to seem nice and me take it as things might work... so for whats its worth my heart still aches but I know that she had a big part of the marriage failing.... She hasn't done anything to change herself she feels by getting away from me she will be all right... so more power to you babe !!! I let her know that i did indeed love her and hope to work things out but I wasnt going to wait around while she decides what she wants.... as of now its not me...... so I will move forward and only worry about myself and my girls !!! Yep, she knows your feelings so leave it at that. By supporting her decision, you are putting your own emotions aside and putting hers first. She may not know it, she may not ever realize it. But you will know. Your focus is right on. You can't go wrong by focusing on the other aspects of your life at this time. She made her decision, now you are making the best of it. It sucks, at times. But, it sucks less as you learn to grow from the experience. There might even come a point where you can appreciate all the hard lessons about yourself that you've come upon. LOL, yeah. Life is funny like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Confused9 Posted December 5, 2008 Share Posted December 5, 2008 Of course she is goign to say that this is your fault...why wouldn't she? That way she doesnt' have to feel bad or guilty for what she is doing. It takes two to tangoe my friend and she is just as guilty in the demise of your marriage as you are...communication is key and obvilously you lost that somewhere but that is not just your fault. You can't allow her to put all the blame on you. That gives her all control and helps her eliminate guilt and that's not fair to you. This is very common in people who are ending relationships. My x did this to me as well and I backed down and ended up being the one who was apologizing and he should have been doing that cause he was cheating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't fall for this cr@p!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted December 5, 2008 Author Share Posted December 5, 2008 This is very common in people who are ending relationships. My x did this to me as well and I backed down and ended up being the one who was apologizing and he should have been doing that cause he was cheating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't fall for this cr@p!!! Confused9, thanks for responding.. I know in my heart as does she that i was not the reason our marriage has ended.. i choose to be the bigger person here and I apologized to her for my shorcummings... if she never does the same for me thats her problem.. She did admit that she could have done stuff differently and we might not have been in this situation but thats water under the bridge... the fact is I am in this situation whether I wanted it or not... Our conversation woke me up in a sense that she has so much bitterness inside her heart that she will never allow me back in.. I felt pretty good after we talked last night knowing that I did everything in my power to try and save what we had, but in the end it was her that was through.. I emailed her this morning telling her that I understood why she did it and that she felt she needed to do this to be happy and I have forgiven her.... I didnt forgive her for her sake but for mine... listening to her speak last night showed me how much bitterness and hurt is in her heart... it doesn't matter if i wasnt the sole reason for it but knowing the amount of anger she has inside will eat her up.... I dont want to be like that... I dont want to lay blame on her because it was both of us that got us here and it will be me thats leaves the better person when all is done..... She got what she wanted which was her freedom... in the same sense I got mine and I plan on living my life with no regrets... something she might not be able to do.. Link to post Share on other sites
n9688m Posted December 5, 2008 Share Posted December 5, 2008 I emailed her this morning telling her that I understood why she did it and that she felt she needed to do this to be happy and I have forgiven her. Wait until you see her financial demands. I bet you aren't quite so generous in your thoughts when that happens. Link to post Share on other sites
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