seibert253 Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Bravo skin. It's always darkest right before the light. Hope this new lady turns out great. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 Hello everyone, Wanted to update all my LS friends on the happenings of my much improved life. I have been doing great for the most part, been dating quite a bit between the days that I have my daughter. 2 weeks ago I met such a wonderfull woman, she is filled with so many qualities that my stbxw lacked. Its almost the complete opposite of what I was used to during my marriage. I am taking things real slow, no sex, kissing or any affection yet just spending quality time getting to know each other. Its so nice having someone look forward to hearing from me, or spending time with me with no expectations from either of us. Other than that life is good.. Joined a bowling league, been doing some volunteering at the retirement home in town and trying to get my face seen by as many people as possible... Thanks again to everyone who has stayed with me during these past 9 months.. who would have thought then I would be where I am at now, but you all did. You told me it would get better and it has... I am not out of the tunnel yet, but the light at the end is so much brighter now than it ever has been.... God Bless you all and keep the faith....... Skin.... A hearty,...................................... Marine Corps................................ oooOOORRAAAAA! Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 It's great to see you doing well, Skin. I knew you'd come out of that dark place eventually. You made it! Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted July 6, 2009 Share Posted July 6, 2009 glad to see things are on the upswing skin! Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted July 30, 2009 Author Share Posted July 30, 2009 Thank you everyone, things have been going well for me and my new friend.... the feelings of being wanted again and thought of are amazing... I feel alive for the first time in many years..I now look forward to each day and the gifts and or surprises that it may offer.. Something that during my marriage was far and few between... I was dead on the inside, yet only going through the motions of life at times.. Now I look forward to every opportunity that I have each day.. The sun shines so much brighter these days, each breath that I take has more meaning and is appreciated so much more now... Because of this, I have become a better person, to my friends, family, people I meet on the street or total strangers.. I have so much more compassion for the struggles that each and every one of us deals with each day.. always praying for those that need it and even the ones that dont deserve it, appreciatting that life is to short to be unhappy. Living in self pity and not being thankfull that I indeed woke up this morning.. Some people didnt have the blessing of another day of life.... My girls and I have become so much closer.. Cherishing each moment that we can be together not kowing if indeed it may be the last... I had court today for isues of child support that were supposed to have been taken care of...... It was hard and very akward standing next to my stbxw...looking at her with such different eyes than I have for the past 9 months.. I saw her looking good on the outside, yet looking at her face she seemed dead inside, bitter and full of anger towards me for trying to save the marriage that meant so much to me... I felt sorry for her, anger towards her and pity for her.. I stood before the judge smiling and knowing in the end she may well regret what she has done to our family... Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted September 4, 2009 Author Share Posted September 4, 2009 Hello everyone, wanted to give an update on my life.. for the past month things have been going pretty well for me. Work has slowly picked up and finally getting some OT.. which has been desparately needed.. My daughter and I have been spending quite a bit of time together.. I took her camping for 4 days and we had a great time in the mountains of West Virginia.. on the last night we had a black bear decide something in our trash smelled good and took off running with the bag...It added some excitement to the weekend.... My daughter has been doing pretty good, considering all that has happened... Breaks my heart to see what her mom does to her.. The POS used to be a good mother before all of this happened, but since meeting her new man, she has allowed my step to run the roads, come and go as she pleases... only 17 and almost total freedom she has.. She wont even talk with me these days.. It hurts but what can I do.. I cant force her to be a part of my life, its all up to her. things with my lady friend are going well.. we enjoy our time together. I took her to her first Redskins game last weekend.. We had a blast.. we had seats 3 rows from the field.. I could almost count the hairs on the cheerleaders heads we were that close.. LOL.... other than that I cant complain.. My divorce should be final within about a month... I have my sad days thinking of what could have been and what I have lost.. but then I have the days where I realize that there are so many options for me to explore.. Here's to all that are going through this now.. there is life after Divorce.. I am slowly finding that out..... I miss my family and wife on occassion.. But what I miss is who my wife was.. not who she has become.. God Bless to all of you going through this... The sun will shine again on your smiling faces... Have faith and know that in the end you will be ok....... Skin........... Link to post Share on other sites
lupa Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 Hello everyone, wanted to give an update on my life.. for the past month things have been going pretty well for me. Work has slowly picked up and finally getting some OT.. which has been desparately needed.. My daughter and I have been spending quite a bit of time together.. I took her camping for 4 days and we had a great time in the mountains of West Virginia.. on the last night we had a black bear decide something in our trash smelled good and took off running with the bag...It added some excitement to the weekend.... My daughter has been doing pretty good, considering all that has happened... Breaks my heart to see what her mom does to her.. The POS used to be a good mother before all of this happened, but since meeting her new man, she has allowed my step to run the roads, come and go as she pleases... only 17 and almost total freedom she has.. She wont even talk with me these days.. It hurts but what can I do.. I cant force her to be a part of my life, its all up to her. things with my lady friend are going well.. we enjoy our time together. I took her to her first Redskins game last weekend.. We had a blast.. we had seats 3 rows from the field.. I could almost count the hairs on the cheerleaders heads we were that close.. LOL.... other than that I cant complain.. My divorce should be final within about a month... I have my sad days thinking of what could have been and what I have lost.. but then I have the days where I realize that there are so many options for me to explore.. Here's to all that are going through this now.. there is life after Divorce.. I am slowly finding that out..... I miss my family and wife on occassion.. But what I miss is who my wife was.. not who she has become.. God Bless to all of you going through this... The sun will shine again on your smiling faces... Have faith and know that in the end you will be ok....... Skin........... I'm right there with you, skins. i miss what could have been now...what a strange thought. I have a lady friend (the girlfriend from my thread) that is rocking my world, but I get caught up in missing what once was and what I imagined could be. Great to hear you are seeing the other side of it...think of all you've been through and how resilient you will be from now on. Keep on keeping on, man. Good stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 Well friends it has been a year since the POS and I separated.. so much has happened in the past year that those who have followed my journey know. I received so much support from people like Gunny, Lakesidedream,PWSX and so many others.. You all offered support, encouragement and advice. Sometimes it was taken and other it wasn't but you all didn't leave me during my time of need... I have learned so much about myself during this difficult time.. I have learned to not have so many expectations, learned that I can only count on myself, no matter how much you love someone, you cant make them love you back... Communication is something I have worked on a great deal.. Learning to really listen and not just hear... I have become a better father from all of this, cherishing the time I spend with my daughters, I have become a better friend to my friends. I have become more compassionate to other that are less fortunate than myself... Most importantly I have learned to love myself, forgive myself and know that I dont need a woman in my life to be happy.......... I am in the process of buying a house... something that I thought I may never have again is coming into sight.. I am excited about having my own place... a place that has no memories of my former life and one that is full of possibilities..... There are times that I miss the POS... those times are far and fewer between these days.. Now I see her and feel sorry for her..... She chose her path and now she must take it....... Thanks again to everyone.. Each day brings more hope and peace within me knowing like you all said things will be all right !!! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Hey Skin! Congrats on your new life! You sound at peace and have grown so much in the past year. I love that you are more compassionate, to yourself and also to others, friends, your kids.. Keep on growing! Good luck with the house, hope you find a great one. And the ex - She's made her bed and now she has to lay in it. I'm sure she has alot of regrets, something she'll have to live with forever, but all in the meanwhile, you've healed and are happy! Good for you buddy! Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Hi there Skinman, I been watching for some time. How is it going with the ladyfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted November 23, 2009 Author Share Posted November 23, 2009 Thank you WWIU and Imagine.. I appreciate you both hanging with me... Especially you WWIU.... thank you so much...Well to let you know on thursday the 19th I was served with my final divorce papers...I have 21 days to respond or I will be dviroced.....I knew this day would come eventually but I didn't think that it would hurt as much as it does....13 months we have been apart, knowing that she has a boyfriend and has since we split.... It still hurts 16 years together and its over in that short a time.... It is what it is....as much as it hurts I am not letting it bring me down.. I srill have my girls.... they love me more than anything and thats all that matters.......... Tomorrow I leave for California for 2 weeks... A much needed vacation......Thank you all that have helped me... I wont name you but to those I have pm'd thank you.......... God Bless and happy Thanksgiving to all...... My prayers are with you....... skin......... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 You're very welcome Skin! And ofcourse it's going to hurt..This was your wife, your marriage, something you worked hard to maintain for a long time..You two shared alot and have a long history.. All that can't be wiped out because of her stupidity and selfishness... Your pain will ease as time goes on, that's something to look forward to! In the meantime, have a fantastic vacation and be good to yourself. And, have yummy Thanksgiving too! Ours was last month.. Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted November 23, 2009 Share Posted November 23, 2009 Good to see you on the board again Skin!!!! I was talking to a gal at work that got divorced 10 years ago & she was telling me how you still remember there birthday's, you remember anniversaries, etc. I could here it in her voice that she still cared for her spouse so it doesn't ever go away..... Just like in divorce care they say a divorce is like tearing of the flesh, it isn't a clean cut & both partners still have some of the other partner in them so you will always have feelings of some kind..... Glad to hear you are still moving forward, it isn't easy & it might not be what we wanted but it's what we have to do..... Have a great time on vacation & enjoy the Turkey Day......Glad to hear from you my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author skinman Posted January 22, 2010 Author Share Posted January 22, 2010 Hello friends, wanted to update everyone on how my life has changed for the better since my divorce was finalized in December.. To start off 2010 has started out with a bang ... I recently met another wonderful woman 8 years younger than myself.. We are taking things slow and cautious but enjoy each others company very much.. She is so different than my ex. was in many ways.. I recently put a contract on a townhouse and in February will be moving into it.. I cant wait to have a place of my own again, its been a dream of mine since this mess all started. One that at times I doubted would ever come true.. well it has, and I cant contain the excitement.... Everyone said how things would get better and at times I doubted your words, but I am living proof that life can and will get better with hard work, setting goals and having something to look forward to. I wake each day with a smile on my face knowing that no matter what today brings to me I can handle it........ Thanks to all my friends on here.. I have missed you all..... God bless and best wishes for 2010 Skin............. Link to post Share on other sites
imagine Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Hi Skinman, Thanks for the positive feedback. It sounds as if you are a success story! Link to post Share on other sites
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