Alcohol Detox- day one

[D-Lish]

Well, I went all of last week without incident and then slipped on Saturday.

Weekends are proving to be difficult....whereas during the week I have been fine.

[2sunny]

just be aware of your vulnerable situations.

 

hey- something is better than nothing! no need to be perfect about it - it's damn hard! at least you are still trying! i'm proud of your progress.. keep at it honey!

[Art_Critic]

Well, I went all of last week without incident and then slipped on Saturday.

Weekends are proving to be difficult....whereas during the week I have been fine.

 

 

You need to learn from your slips D-lish.. that way you won't repeat them.

 

A slip or two is okay providing you still have the desire to quit.. but if you turn your weekend slips into every weekend then it isn't a slip..

 

Keep it up..

[D-Lish]

You need to learn from your slips D-lish.. that way you won't repeat them.

 

A slip or two is okay providing you still have the desire to quit.. but if you turn your weekend slips into every weekend then it isn't a slip..

 

Keep it up..

 

Thanks everyone.

I didn't post about the slip Saturday because I was embarrassed.

I still have the desire to quit. I'm still trying.

 

The hardest thing ever is hanging out with my friends and not cracking a beer when everyone else does. I fear it has to come down to backing out of my social relationships- and since I already isolate myself when I am upset about things... I fear I'd just end up being more alone than I already am. All my good friends like to indulge on the weekends... it's what everyone does to let loose after the work week.

 

So if I hang out with them on the weekends- I'll be exposed to temptation. If I remove myself from my friend group, I'd just be back to isolating myself. And these are my close friends- people I have known forever, I don't want to lose those connections.

[Jilly Bean]

D - can you not TELL them that you are trying to get sober? If they are your real friends, then they will support you and comply by not drinking around you. If they don't, then they are just drinking buddies and not true friends anyhow, and will need to be removed from your life while you get clean.

[Prodigal Princess]

Why dont you just stop drinking at home or alone, rather than trying to stop completely?

 

If I recall correctly, you were concerned that you were using alcohol as a crutch for feeling down, lonely and anxious. If you're only drinking while out with friends, then you're probably not using alcohol in a negative or abusive way.

 

Most people enjoy drinking socially, and it sounds like it is a positive part of your life. If you think you can drink with your friends and not crave it while home alone, perhaps that is a more realistic way of going about things?

[ingridl]

My soon to be x husband just completed a 60 day expensive recovery program. Now he is a dry drunk...Still manipulating EVERYBODY. It seems like I'm the ONLY one who knows the real him.

 

All I can say is QUIT DRINKING. You are hurting many people. I believe in the tough love approach....All this victim/disease stuff seems to perpetuate the problem....

 

GOOD LUCK!

[D-Lish]

My soon to be x husband just completed a 60 day expensive recovery program. Now he is a dry drunk...Still manipulating EVERYBODY. It seems like I'm the ONLY one who knows the real him.

 

All I can say is QUIT DRINKING. You are hurting many people. I believe in the tough love approach....All this victim/disease stuff seems to perpetuate the problem....

 

GOOD LUCK!

 

Well, I think I was hurting myself mostly since I was doing it at home alone mostly. Only a few close friends and family members ever knew and it was because I told them, not because they recognized it. It was self destructive behaviour that affected me. I was a closet drinker- and was not with a partner that I was hurting- just keep in mind I am not your ex.

 

I am not a life long drunk that has spent my entire life drinking and manipulating and hurting others. I am actually a sensitive, insightful person that didn't even pick up the habit until I hit a bad situation in life- and then I just hid it from everyone while I escaped- mostly sitting in front of my computer actually, not interacting with others in person and hurting them.

 

I moved home, have gotten settled- had one bad relapse a week ago when the realization hit that my business and my house was gone.... and have been dry since.

 

Just getting out of that horrible situation has changed things.

I spent the last two years slowly struggling with the demise of my business while the bills piled up at work and I had no means of paying them.

 

What a difference to get rid of the business, sell the house and pay off the majority of my debt. Sure- I am at home again. But wow, I am sleeping through the night, working out everyday, handing out resumes and getting positive responses.

 

My dad and I had a long talk before they left to go back to their house in Washington. It was a good talk. He is a Doctor- so he has dealt with alcoholism with patients, and we're close. He told me just before he left that he saw the "old me"... and that he wasn't locking the bar or the wine cellar because he trusted me.

 

So- it's weird- because I am sitting here drinking water like I have every night for the past 6 nights... and there is a full wine cellar and fully stocked bar within 50 feet of me. There's no draw to it.

 

Is it possible to be a situational drinker? That I had so much crap go on in the past two years that I started escaping- and now that I am settled and feeling like my old self... I can just stop? I have just stopped.

 

I have job interviews and I am feeling like the old D again.

I just haven't had the urge.

 

I talked to someone I know tonight who told me he doesn't believe in me.

He knows about everything and is probably one of the few who knows of my problem and has seen the effect of it. But I just don't feel the urge at all. He doesn't trust me or believe me at this point... I don't think I will be able to convince him or make it up to him- I don't even know how to go about that. I am pretty sure that friendship might be a lost cause- although I wish it wasn't.

 

I've been cool without alcohol for 6 days now. The past month I have had two binge drinking nights- but haven't been drinking daily.

 

My "friend" questioned what will happen if I hit another rough spot. He certainly had a right to question that.

 

I just feel different. A great sense of relief- no urge to indulge. It's like being back to where I used to be. What I was my entire ife. Even when I was in crisis- I had never been prone to drinking. I actually read to escape before...and have found that again.

 

So I moved home- removed myself from the situation that was causing me angst.... I feel good. No reason or urges.

Is that odd?

 

I went more than 30 years taking or leaving alcohol- through crisis and though good times. I hit that really rough patch and I clutched to it for a time. I feel no pull now.

 

I am not sure what that makes me. An alcoholic for life? Am I prone to falling back into it? I don't feel it now. I have been through crisis situations my whole life on and off- and this was the first time I resorted to drinking. I went through a divorce and never drank, Why did it happen this time? Why am I settled and not attracted to drinking anymore?

 

My friend's words haunt me- that he has no faith in me.

Proving him wrong is something I know I will do.

[Gala]

D-

 

It does sound as though you are doing quite well...and I'm glad to hear it! I am wondering, though, what stake this friend has in your state of being. In a way, the attitude you attribute to him was precisely the problem a few weeks ago...the "you have to be strong because that's what I expect from you" attitude that you believed your friends had.

 

Several years back, a friend of mine told me "You can't cry! You're my pillar of strength!" Boy was that a slap in the face, especially since I was very emotionally fragile at the time. Obviously this friend's view of you is important to you, but you may want to think about why. And as for the question of situational alcoholism, consider that as separately as you can. You are not managing your drinking for this guy, but for you.

 

Lastly, I am not an expert on problem drinking. But it does seem to me that you may want to build some equity -- and get some more stability in your life -- before you decide that it's OK to drink again socially. See if you can have a couple of non-binge MONTHS.

 

Take care, OK?

[Art_Critic]

I am not sure what that makes me. An alcoholic for life? Am I prone to falling back into it? I don't feel it now.

 

This is denial talking..... You are in denial about how serious your problem has become and you are trying to figure out how to quit drinking temporarily.. you can't..

 

My friend's words haunt me- that he has no faith in me.

Proving him wrong is something I know I will do.

 

You should place more faith in yourself and stop trying to please other people.

 

You don't have to prove him wrong.. by trying to do that you will prove him right..

 

When my father was still alive I was drinking..

 

I used to drink to show or prove to my Dad that I wasn't an Alcoholic.. by doing that all I was really doing was showing him I was.

 

It was me that didn't believe that I was..

I was in denial..

 

Until I firmly believed that I Was Powerless Over Alcohol I continued to drink to try and prove my Dad wrong..

 

Kinda weird .. that is Alcoholic logic..

 

You can quit.. you don't need Alcohol D-Lish..

[zxcirce]

D--I'd like to say first that I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict with 4 years clean of alcohol and 6 years clean of meth and pot, so I know what I'm talking about here.

 

First...you know you have some kind of problem with drinking. Before you decide it's "situational" or whatever, think about this...what positive effect would continuing to use alcohol have for you?

 

I was exactly where you are, many times, and it always led to my drinking again, and it never got better when I drank. It's a progression, it will get worse, trust me.

 

You feel fine and at peace with it now, but if you are an alcoholic, it won't last. And you will want to drink again. And it will suck more.

 

So sure you could convince yourself you're not really that bad, but for what purpose? So you can continue to drink and, at best, do stupid things under the influence and live with hangovers? Why not just cut your losses and really stop before you get as out of control as I did; 21 years old, strapped to a bed in the psych ward and stitched up from a suicide attempt, just lost both of my jobs from drinking, BAC .40 (they thought I should be dead) and ranting and raving at everyone who tried to help me? Or homeless and friendless and helpless? That's no fun for anybody, and this disease doesn't discriminate.

 

Cause sooner or later, if you don't take it seriously, that's the kind of future you can look forward to. Maybe not exactly the same, but same difference....

[D-Lish]

Please dont' think that I don't take this seriously or accept I have a problem with alcohol. I take it very seriously, and I am still scared that I will lose my willpower.

 

In my old place- the triggers were all around me- the atmosphere here is calming and different. I am sitting here drinking water again tonight. doing my resume.

 

Art- I am still going to keep my addictions appointment- I wouldn't even think about missing that.

 

I just spent the last two years with things falling apart- and the booze became that escape I fought with a craved.

 

That huge weight and pressure is gone- I guess I am wondering why I don't want to open a bottle of beer. It's 7 days tonight- the longest I have gone since I started seriously wanting to stop.

 

I am not in denial that I am alcoholic. I am proud of myself that I haven't had a drink in a week though, and that it hasn't been a big struggle to stay away from it.

[jerbear]

Dee-licious,

 

I think you're doing great being dry the last week. I do hope you are not staying home all the time. Do go out and do other things, like movies and such.

 

How about visiting your parents for a week when you are in between interviews? It might help get you out of your funk faster.

 

My concern is that you've been running on all cylinders with resumes, interviews, and not taking time to smell the flowers.

[Jilly Bean]

One whole week? Girl, that's AWESOME!!! That's the longest you've gone since you started this, right?

 

I'm SO proud. Keep it up - one day at a time, right?

[Art_Critic]

I am proud of myself that I haven't had a drink in a week though, and that it hasn't been a big struggle to stay away from it.

You are making all the right decisions right now..

I'm proud of you and your self awareness too.. We all are... and to borrow another posters sign off..

 

"Atta Girl "

 

Keep on Keeping On D-Lish...

[D-Lish]

You are making all the right decisions right now..

I'm proud of you and your self awareness too.. We all are... and to borrow another posters sign off..

 

"Atta Girl "

 

Keep on Keeping On D-Lish...

 

Thanks Art.

I am sitting here drinking water again.

 

I just didn't want you to think I am in denial about the problem- I am not. Another crisis could hit, and probably will and who knows if I would turn to binge drinking again. I know at least I am susceptible,

 

Removing myself from that toxic, trigger laden atmosphere seems to have made a big difference. Also, not hanging around with some of the people that used to fuel the problem has been a good choice.

 

;-)