Lookingforward Posted June 10, 2008 Share Posted June 10, 2008 ok now THAT i get. im not saying i dont think shes a decent person- heck i dont even know her or her story- but i think your right that she doesnt like that ive changed. thx for explaining. its the only theory that makes sense to me about why shes saying im berating & being a hyprocrite & implying I"M not a decent person or im not allowed to have an opinion about this subject b/c i happen to have another thread asking how to get away from my X!!!!!!MM. (he is most def. XMM and always will be & if that makes me a hyprocrite in her eyes, guess im a hyprocrite in her eyes for life. wont stop me from saying i think boyfriend=commitment till the cows come home.) nope - all I said was I didn't see how you reconciled the two pov - that MM wasn't "committed" so was available but a bf was in your eyes Link to post Share on other sites
twice_shy Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 nope - all I said was I didn't see how you reconciled the two pov - that MM wasn't "committed" so was available but a bf was in your eyes Bullsh#t. You insinuated she was a hypocrite and sarcasticly took a swipe at her saying she has changed. you didn't "just" say you didn't see how she reconciled the 2 POV. You did alot more than that and you know it. Nice try at making it look like thats "all" you were saying. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Bullsh#t. You insinuated she was a hypocrite and sarcasticly took a swipe at her saying she has changed. you didn't "just" say you didn't see how she reconciled the 2 POV. You did alot more than that and you know it. Nice try at making it look like thats "all" you were saying. actually as I said - re-read the whole thread and you'll see that's exactly what I said initially - before you decided to twist it But I'm done here, I get tired of you insuating your pov into every thread on here - yes we KNOW you were cheated on and you're as bitter about it as it's possible to be and project your sitch onto every thread on this board - we get it already. Link to post Share on other sites
twice_shy Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 actually as I said - re-read the whole thread and you'll see that's exactly what I said initially - before you decided to twist it But I'm done here, I get tired of you insuating your pov into every thread on here - yes we KNOW you were cheated on and you're as bitter about it as it's possible to be and project your sitch onto every thread on this board - we get it already. Realizing that you took a swipe at NES, then come back and try to act all innocent has absolutely nothing to do with my sitch. Hell, if anything, if you apply the attempt at a swipe in what you said above at me, you'd think I'd be jumping NES's shiit too. Wouldn't you think? And I despise people who are OM/OW. But NES learned from it and I commend her for that. so maybe you can make your swipes a tad more relevant? Hmmm? Link to post Share on other sites
pelicanpreacher Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 actually as I said - re-read the whole thread and you'll see that's exactly what I said initially - before you decided to twist it But I'm done here, I get tired of you insuating your pov into every thread on here - yes we KNOW you were cheated on and you're as bitter about it as it's possible to be and project your sitch onto every thread on this board - we get it already. AHA! Your "insuating" beats my "comma"! That's ins^in^uating! Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 AHA! Your "insuating" beats my "comma"! LOLOL but I'm not drunk - just a lousy typist Link to post Share on other sites
pelicanpreacher Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 LOLOL but I'm not drunk - just a lousy typist As long as its after 6 somewhere in the world I'm looking for my beer! Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 As long as its after 6 somewhere in the world I'm looking for my beer! it's 5 o'clock somewhere.......... Link to post Share on other sites
pelicanpreacher Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Should have continued on with my previous thread..... but say if I'm casually dating Bill and I'm introducing him to friends/family, I won't call him a "boyfriend". I will probably just say "This is Bill" nothing more. If we are more serious and committed, I will say "This is my boyfriend, Bill". Sounds like this guy has a gf as he said it himself. He realizes there is something wrong in what he's doing behind her back so he comes up with the line "he's not sure she's the one" which if she means nothing, etc. he doesn't need to say anything about her. Probably guilt kicking in. ??????????????! Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 ??????????????! does an ! in place of a ? count as a typo ? (wondering where Tony is tonight) Link to post Share on other sites
pelicanpreacher Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 it's 5 o'clock somewhere.......... I always set my clocks an hour ahead to cover for that contingency! Link to post Share on other sites
pelicanpreacher Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 does an ! in place of a ? count as a typo ? (wondering where Tony is tonight) No! No! No! No! No! Just a quirk of mine! You know...like what?! Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 No! No! No! No! No! Just a quirk of mine! You know...like what?! what ?! what, what ?? (where ?!) <LF wanders off to bed on that note > Link to post Share on other sites
pelicanpreacher Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 does an ! in place of a ? count as a typo ? (wondering where Tony is tonight) Who's Tony?! Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Who's Tony?! the mod who will probably close this thread for being waaaaaaaaaaay off topic (not to mention the OP seems to have long gone MIA) Link to post Share on other sites
pelicanpreacher Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 the mod who will probably close this thread for being waaaaaaaaaaay off topic (not to mention the OP seems to have long gone MIA) Yeah...I was getting curious about that one too! Link to post Share on other sites
SueBee3490 Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 ??????????????! Read the posts before this. The thread seemed to be heading towards a discussion of if bf/gf relationships are "committed" relationships. Some posters seem to believe that while dating you can "go out" on your bf/gf as you don't have a ring on your finger and there is no commitment. I am with posters who think there is a level of commitment even in a bf/gf relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Read the posts before this. The thread seemed to be heading towards a discussion of if bf/gf relationships are "committed" relationships. Some posters seem to believe that while dating you can "go out" on your bf/gf as you don't have a ring on your finger and there is no commitment. I am with posters who think there is a level of commitment even in a bf/gf relationship. To me a bf/gf is someone that you like seriously but not enough to have decided on making a committment yet - bf and gf break up ALL the time, it's not like you've decided to be with them forever...........it's definitely not the same level of committment one would expect from a M couple is it ? Even if you're dating exclusively with that person, the FACT is there is no "committment" yet..........besides that to me, bf/gf is like high school stuff, not adult R material. If you are living with someone prior to engagement/M that's not bf/gf. Maybe it's just the terminology that's the problem Link to post Share on other sites
frannie Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 To me a bf/gf is someone that you like seriously but not enough to have decided on making a committment yet - bf and gf break up ALL the time, it's not like you've decided to be with them forever...........it's definitely not the same level of committment one would expect from a M couple is it ? Even if you're dating exclusively with that person, the FACT is there is no "committment" yet..........besides that to me, bf/gf is like high school stuff, not adult R material. If you are living with someone prior to engagement/M that's not bf/gf. Maybe it's just the terminology that's the problem Hmm... then what is it when you have no intention of marriage, say perhaps that you don't believe in it or don't want it for yourself for whatever reason. But you live together, buy a property together, have children perhaps, and the world views you as a couple. Perhaps this is to do with what is socially acceptable in your country? I'm in the UK and plenty of people live together in commited relationships for years without marrying. They certainly view that as a commited, adult relationship, but marriage isn't part of the equation. It's not the goal of all relationships to get married. Link to post Share on other sites
SueBee3490 Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 To me a bf/gf is someone that you like seriously but not enough to have decided on making a committment yet - bf and gf break up ALL the time, it's not like you've decided to be with them forever...........it's definitely not the same level of committment one would expect from a M couple is it ? Even if you're dating exclusively with that person, the FACT is there is no "committment" yet..........besides that to me, bf/gf is like high school stuff, not adult R material. If you are living with someone prior to engagement/M that's not bf/gf. Maybe it's just the terminology that's the problem Why should this matter if you are living with someone - you are still not married and "committed". What if I don't believe in living together but I want a committed bf? Just because we aren't married yet or don't "live together" I shouldn't expect him to be committed to me? Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Hmm... then what is it when you have no intention of marriage, say perhaps that you don't believe in it or don't want it for yourself for whatever reason. But you live together, buy a property together, have children perhaps, and the world views you as a couple. Perhaps this is to do with what is socially acceptable in your country? I'm in the UK and plenty of people live together in commited relationships for years without marrying. They certainly view that as a commited, adult relationship, but marriage isn't part of the equation. It's not the goal of all relationships to get married. Then in that situation, it's committed - you are on the basis of partners and SO regardless of whether there are official vows or rings exchanged...... that to me is the SAME as a M, but it's certainly not something you'd call bf/gf is it? I wouldn't anyway. As I said perhaps it's the terminology that's the problem for me in this. The OP in this thread was talking about a guy who has been "seeing" his gf for 6 months, but "isn't sure she's the ONE" - doesn't sound all that committed to me. and FWIW I don't think you know where my country is LOL Link to post Share on other sites
SueBee3490 Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Then in that situation, it's committed - you are on the basis of partners and SO regardless of whether there are official vows or rings exchanged...... that to me is the SAME as a M, but it's certainly not something you'd call bf/gf is it? I wouldn't anyway. As I said perhaps it's the terminology that's the problem for me in this. The OP in this thread was talking about a guy who has been "seeing" his gf for 6 months, but "isn't sure she's the ONE" - doesn't sound all that committed to me. and FWIW I don't think you know where my country is LOL Sorry but in my book if you are living with someone, it's the same as bf/gf. You may have all your "stuff" together, but guess what, if you both or one decide, you can just pack up and get out of the person's life - no messy "costly" divorce. Of course to me though, bf/gf can have committed relationships. You said living together is the same as marriage so how is living together any more committed then if we both live in our respective homes (maybe each have children from previous marriages, work jobs in different cities, etc.)? We don't want to live together at that point but are moving toward marriage in the future. In my case, I had 3 small children and he had 2 - we lived in different states so obviously our kids went to different schools. Each of us wanted to keep them in their own schools so we were bf/gf (as you call it) and we didn't live together. I don't think I should have to live with my bf just so I can make sure he is committed to me and only me whether we get married or not. If I don't believe in living with someone before marriage, then in your book, my only hope of having a committed relationship with a man is to marry him. Since you believe living together is the same as M and I didn't live with him first, I shouldn't have expected my bf to be faithful to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Lookingforward Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Sorry but in my book if you are living with someone, it's the same as bf/gf. You may have all your "stuff" together, but guess what, if you both or one decide, you can just pack up and get out of the person's life - no messy "costly" divorce. Of course to me though, bf/gf can have committed relationships. You said living together is the same as marriage so how is living together any more committed then if we both live in our respective homes (maybe each have children from previous marriages, work jobs in different cities, etc.)? We don't want to live together at that point but are moving toward marriage in the future. In my case, I had 3 small children and he had 2 - we lived in different states so obviously our kids went to different schools. Each of us wanted to keep them in their own schools so we were bf/gf (as you call it) and we didn't live together. I don't think I should have to live with my bf just so I can make sure he is committed to me and only me whether we get married or not. If I don't believe in living with someone before marriage, then in your book, my only hope of having a committed relationship with a man is to marry him. Since you believe living together is the same as M and I didn't live with him first, I shouldn't have expected my bf to be faithful to me. Where did I say any of what you've assumed? I wasn't talking about what I call bf/gf but what the OP did........seems too many posters here are making this all about THEIR Rs and not what the OP was. Sorry, but if some guy I fancy tells me he "has a g/f he's been seeing for 6 months but he's not sure she's the one", then he's single and available Link to post Share on other sites
twice_shy Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 Where did I say any of what you've assumed? I wasn't talking about what I call bf/gf but what the OP did........seems too many posters here are making this all about THEIR Rs and not what the OP was. Sorry, but if some guy I fancy tells me he "has a g/f he's been seeing for 6 months but he's not sure she's the one", then he's single and available What if he leaves out the "but he's not sure she's the one", then is he still fair game to you? If he just says he has a gf and is making it clear that you know that, you still going to crap on the relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
SueBee3490 Posted June 11, 2008 Share Posted June 11, 2008 If you are living with someone prior to engagement/M that's not bf/gf. So are you saying here that if you are living with someone it's the same as M to you? It looks like you are saying "living together" is on "some" level of commitment whereas bf/gf isn't. Do I have your opinion right there? Link to post Share on other sites
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