Mustang Sally Posted April 4, 2008 Posted April 4, 2008 Ah, the nostalgia... <sigh> This thread (and H-- er, Grogster's appearance) has me fondly remembering a thread from days gone by... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=128359 Particularly post #107. Ah, Lindya...what a classic!
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 4, 2008 Author Posted April 4, 2008 Ah, the nostalgia... <sigh> This thread (and H-- er, Grogster's appearance) has me fondly remembering a thread from days gone by... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=128359 Particularly post #107. Ah, Lindya...what a classic! Hahaha.. yes that is a classic..
grogster Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 Ah, the nostalgia... <sigh> This thread (and H-- er, Grogster's appearance) has me fondly remembering a thread from days gone by... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=128359 Particularly post #107. Ah, Lindya...what a classic! I agree. What a great Thread, and an even better post. Both are classics.
OpenBook Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 I agree. What a great Thread, and an even better post. Both are classics. Trimmer? Is that you??
OpenBook Posted April 5, 2008 Posted April 5, 2008 And that's why you're not hurting my marriage. I have nothing emotionally invested in you. Its not taking away from my investments in my marriage. (perhaps my job somewhat, but I'm good enough at that that the impact is negligible). And this is the exact same rationale that Lizzie's MM's use when they cheat on their W's with her. They don't spend a lot of time with her. They are active participants in their own M. Lizzie is their "safety valve." They can bear all the responsibility and unmet needs at home, as long as they have their "Lizzie." They're happier... so their W's are happier as a result. And those are the things that your MM promised to their wives, but are giving to you instead. So why are you zooming in on Lizzie? Shouldn't you be zooming in on these MM instead? They're the ones doing the betraying. Your razor focus on living one's life in complete above-board honesty -- with the exception of your employer -- is admirable. But why are you so obsessed with making sure everyone else is (or is at least aware that they should be) living the same way??
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 5, 2008 Author Posted April 5, 2008 And this is the exact same rationale that Lizzie's MM's use when they cheat on their W's with her. They don't spend a lot of time with her. They are active participants in their own M. Lizzie is their "safety valve." They can bear all the responsibility and unmet needs at home, as long as they have their "Lizzie." They're happier... so their W's are happier as a result. So why are you zooming in on Lizzie? Shouldn't you be zooming in on these MM instead? They're the ones doing the betraying. Your razor focus on living one's life in complete above-board honesty -- with the exception of your employer -- is admirable. But why are you so obsessed with making sure everyone else is (or is at least aware that they should be) living the same way?? Sooooo well said.. you put into words exactly what it is really.. again.. well said ... and good catch (for the employer)
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 How can you be a friend and a therapist in 20 minutes? It simply boils down to this: you don't care if you hurt anybody unless you know them. Which is okay, everybody has to live their own lives. Just the act of being a saint and helping anybody...that's weak. Hahaha..I never said I was a saint.. I'm far from being a saint.. and I should say that 20 min.. is only with this one.. but 20 min. on a regular basis for over 4 years is just about the same as a one-hour session for a few months..
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 And still the unanswered question remains. If she's doing all these W's a favor by f'ing their H's, why doesn't she do her friend a favor too? The only answer I have for this one is LOYALTY.. I am loyal to MY FRIENDS.. Why is that so hard to understand.. geeezzz
Nevermind Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 but 20 min. on a regular basis for over 4 years is just about the same as a one-hour session for a few months No. It really isn't. And the problem with the loyalty is just this: if you were not doing anything wrong, then it would not be a breech of loyalty to do it with your friend's husband. This is what I mean by playing the saint: you try to appear as if you were doing something good, but you essentially are not. I don't critizise you, why should I? But your act is not convincing to anybody but yourself.
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 No. It really isn't. And the problem with the loyalty is just this: if you were not doing anything wrong, then it would not be a breech of loyalty to do it with your friend's husband. This is what I mean by playing the saint: you try to appear as if you were doing something good, but you essentially are not. I don't critizise you, why should I? But your act is not convincing to anybody but yourself. But in my mind.. I still think that, an A, could be beneficial for the M. I just do... maybe not for everyone but in a lot of cases, it does. I should add that my friend's H are/is happy with her..
whichwayisup Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 But in my mind.. I still think that, an A, could be beneficial for the M For the one who is cheating. Ofcourse life is good for the one who is cheating. And, then the 'happy' mood spills over into the marriage, therefore making things better at home. The thing is, that extra bit of happiness in the marriage is all based on a LIE, though the BS has no clue why her/his spouse is happier in the marriage.
Lookingforward Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Just a hypothetical here - what if the WS having an A (or even thinking about it and coming clean about that) is the kick in the @$$ the other spouse needs to wake up that there really IS a serious problem in their M and needs their attention?
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 Just a hypothetical here - what if the WS having an A (or even thinking about it and coming clean about that) is the kick in the @$$ the other spouse needs to wake up that there really IS a serious problem in their M and needs their attention? Good point too... but I have to admit that I doubt it.
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 For the one who is cheating. Ofcourse life is good for the one who is cheating. And, then the 'happy' mood spills over into the marriage, therefore making things better at home. The thing is, that extra bit of happiness in the marriage is all based on a LIE, though the BS has no clue why her/his spouse is happier in the marriage. Yes.. that's exactly it. the happy mood might be based on a lie..but the end result is satisfatory for the whole family.. kids included... everyone is happier..
sally4sara Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Yes.. that's exactly it. the happy mood might be based on a lie..but the end result is satisfatory for the whole family.. kids included... everyone is happier.. I am not against prostitution as far as thinking it should be illegal. I've never really understood why it usually is illegal. I do however, understand why having such an occupation might make a woman in this profession feel guilty or low. Sometimes I think you adhere to the above mindset to feel better about what you do. I knew a girl who did this and she tried to feel better by believing this line of logic. Unfortunately, she was not very convincing and I often felt bad for her. It is a job. You shouldn't feel the need to make excuses for it or paint it as something it's not. If you do, maybe you should look to get out of it and do something else. If I am off the mark about what you do, I apologize. I have just noticed it having been alluded to many times on here as well as out-right stated without your denying it. As well you have made statements that lead me to think this. I hope it has been lucrative enough that you can retire on it comfortably.
HeavenScent Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Lizzie, have you ever felt guilty? Tiny bit of guilt? Nada?
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 Lizzie, have you ever felt guilty? Tiny bit of guilt? Nada? At this stage of my life.. to be honest with you .. no... not one bit.
Nevermind Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 Just a hypothetical here - what if the WS having an A (or even thinking about it and coming clean about that) is the kick in the @$$ the other spouse needs to wake up that there really IS a serious problem in their M and needs their attention? Muahahahaha! Okay, so why is it essential to keep it hidden then? You cannot argue that a) everybody is happy because nobody knows and that at the same time b) it's better for the marriage because the spouses try harder.
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 I am not against prostitution as far as thinking it should be illegal. I've never really understood why it usually is illegal. I do however, understand why having such an occupation might make a woman in this profession feel guilty or low. Sometimes I think you adhere to the above mindset to feel better about what you do. I knew a girl who did this and she tried to feel better by believing this line of logic. Unfortunately, she was not very convincing and I often felt bad for her. It is a job. You shouldn't feel the need to make excuses for it or paint it as something it's not. If you do, maybe you should look to get out of it and do something else. If I am off the mark about what you do, I apologize. I have just noticed it having been alluded to many times on here as well as out-right stated without your denying it. As well you have made statements that lead me to think this. I hope it has been lucrative enough that you can retire on it comfortably. To be totally honest with you.. I have no reason to lie here... I am not trying to convince myself or paint it better than it is.. it works for me. I have a good job for the government.. I don't smoke, don't drink and do not take drugs.. This is a choice.. I am very happy with it... plus I have to add that I am very picky and I get to choose my lovers.
sally4sara Posted April 6, 2008 Posted April 6, 2008 To be totally honest with you.. I have no reason to lie here... I am not trying to convince myself or paint it better than it is.. it works for me. I have a good job for the government.. I don't smoke, don't drink and do not take drugs.. This is a choice.. I am very happy with it... plus I have to add that I am very picky and I get to choose my lovers. I get to choose mine too. I guess I'm too picky to chose a MM or several men, married or not. Whatever works for you-works for you. But...would you still chose to help these MM's marriages if there was no pay off for you?
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 6, 2008 Author Posted April 6, 2008 I get to choose mine too. I guess I'm too picky to chose a MM or several men, married or not. Whatever works for you-works for you. But...would you still chose to help these MM's marriages if there was no pay off for you? Yes.. as I do with some of them.. my young lover (he knows everything about me, even where I work and my MM from work (this one absolutely has NO idea what I do on the side).. for the others the answer is NO...
Owl Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 So why are you zooming in on Lizzie? Shouldn't you be zooming in on these MM instead? They're the ones doing the betraying. Your razor focus on living one's life in complete above-board honesty -- with the exception of your employer -- is admirable. But why are you so obsessed with making sure everyone else is (or is at least aware that they should be) living the same way?? One thing...my boss knows that I post on LS. He's fine with it...we've discussed some of the threads any my views on things several times as a matter of fact. There's no issue there. So I guess that kind of shoots that attempt at redirection in the foot. And here's the thing...I'm not zooming in on Lizzie. She made a statement...that her sleeping with MM was a good thing for their marriages. She then drew the line that she'd never sleep with a friend's husband. And that creates an apparent conflict...because if it WERE good for the marriage, there'd be no reason for that boundary. She won't sleep with her friend's husband because she doesn't want to hurt her friend. (And I completely believe this) But that means that sleeping with her friend's husband WOULD be detrimental to her friend...which Lizzie thus far has refused to admit is a result of sleeping with married men. If I'm mistaken in any of this...set me right. That's really all I've asked for here the whole time is for Lizzie to explain the reason for her boundary...if its not about how sleeping with her friend's husband would hurt her friend...then what is it? Its a simple enough question...and its not "going after Lizzie".
whichwayisup Posted April 7, 2008 Posted April 7, 2008 My train of thought is, Lizzie is happy with her life and choices. We don't have to live her life, she does...BUT - Godforbid something happens, her MM won't be there to help her through any rough times. People who have no committment or obligation will NOT stick around when the chips are down and only then maybe she'll realize that "fun times" with those MM are in the moment and not long lasting friendship.
Author Lizzie60 Posted April 7, 2008 Author Posted April 7, 2008 Lizzie your lack of remorse really scares me. All I can say is that Karma has a way of returning the favors you have been giving to these men. And it won't be in a good way either. One day, this will all come crashing down around you. Life isn't about the quantity of people you are with, but the quality. And honestly the quality of the guys you are with are very low-grade. Any guy willing to backstab his wife by having an affair, will be more than willing to backstab you. It's like we can all see this train-wreck that will eventually happen, and the only one that can get this train from stopping is you.. however you still keep wanting to go full speed ahead. JM.. I don't believe in karma.. really don't. Plus, the way I see it, because it's good for the MM.. then maybe the good karma will return the favour.. I disagree about the low-grade guys.. these guys are all professionals.. very smart, good people, great fathers.. good guys. Why would these guys backstab me.. I've got nothing to lose.. they have everything to lose.. plus I trust them. Whenever they want to stop seeing me.. it's fine with me.. no big deal.
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