Might be Having Twins...Suggestions?

[RecordProducer]

Not for the amount of weeks I am, I am pretty large

I already had a belly in the second month of my pregnancy. I think you ARE having twins. So are you keeping them? Are you happy about this?

 

just don't freak out if he asks you for a paternity test.

Just say, "On THAT day, I only had sex with you. All the others were out of town or too busy working, and some were in the middle of a mid-term. Actually I did sleep with one guy on the same day, I recall now, but the condom didn't blow... (sigh) That lucky I am - of all the good guys, it had to be YOU. :eek:"

[LucreziaBorgia]

If it gets out, I have very little doubt you will be asked to submit your children for a DNA test if it comes to a matter of the courts with child support and visitation. I'm sure his wife will want to be 100% sure before any of their marital funds go toward supporting children outside of their marriage. Heck, your MM may turn on you and insist himself. MM tend to change when faced with an unexpected pregnancy. Fear tends to do that to a person.

[Gwyneth]

 

Just say, "On THAT day, I only had sex with you. All the others were out of town or too busy working, and some were in the middle of a mid-term. Actually I did sleep with one guy on the same day, I recall now, but the condom didn't blow... (sigh) That lucky I am - of all the good guys, it had to be YOU. :eek:"

 

 

 

He knows I'm a clean girl and don't sleep around. I'm sure his wife would do Anything she could to make sure he has nothing to do with the baby(ies). She wants to make sure he solely supports her child with whom she doesn't request child support from his father.

 

Mutual funds? She sits on her hump all day while he's out supporting her and her child. She's got it made, and he's just too stupid to see he's using her for his money (what little he has, but to her, it's a fortune).

[blind_otter]

 

Mutual funds? She sits on her hump all day while he's out supporting her and her child. She's got it made, and he's just too stupid to see he's using her for his money (what little he has, but to her, it's a fortune).

 

No offense, but both my older sisters and SAHMs and there actually is work involved with raising your child and maintaining a home. In fact, both of them are always on the go taking their children to activities, enrichment, play dates. It takes a lot to stay at home with your children. I know I couldn't do it, I will be putting my son in daycare.

 

And also, when you're married - everything becomes community property. At least in my state.

 

It would be totally different if they weren't married, and I would tend to agree with you...but I happen to know several women, not just my older sisters, who stay with their kids at home and they bust their asses on a regular basis.

[curiousnycgirl]

No offense, but both my older sisters and SAHMs and there actually is work involved with raising your child and maintaining a home. In fact, both of them are always on the go taking their children to activities, enrichment, play dates. It takes a lot to stay at home with your children. I know I couldn't do it, I will be putting my son in daycare.

 

And also, when you're married - everything becomes community property. At least in my state.

 

It would be totally different if they weren't married, and I would tend to agree with you...but I happen to know several women, not just my older sisters, who stay with their kids at home and they bust their asses on a regular basis.

 

 

No JOKE - SAHMs have no relief like 9-5ers, their job is 24X7 and it is the same thing day in and day out! talk about a burn out career!

[whichwayisup]

I'm sure his wife would do Anything she could to make sure he has nothing to do with the baby(ies). She wants to make sure he solely supports her child with whom she doesn't request child support from his father.

 

Mutual funds? She sits on her hump all day while he's out supporting her and her child. She's got it made, and he's just too stupid to see he's using her for his money (what little he has, but to her, it's a fortune).

 

Gwen, you're assuming again and ALOT might I add. You really have NO idea what their relationship and marriage is like behind closed doors. You only know what he has told you - And used your imagination. I know you HATE her though.

[EnigmasMuse]

 

He knows I'm a clean girl and don't sleep around. I'm sure his wife would do Anything she could to make sure he has nothing to do with the baby(ies). She wants to make sure he solely supports her child with whom she doesn't request child support from his father.

 

Mutual funds? She sits on her hump all day while he's out supporting her and her child. She's got it made, and he's just too stupid to see he's using her for his money (what little he has, but to her, it's a fortune).

 

 

I'm sure you saw this coming.

 

I'm glad you think that alot of SAHM's just sit on their butts all day and do nothing, living off their husbands. But of course you were probably just meaning her, since she is the one you don't care for.

[Gwyneth]

He does the grocery shopping, the laundry, and the cleaning. Brings and picks up her child from school. She's Always "not feeling well." He cooks dinner. They share a car and he uses it to get to and from work. She was walking to work when she had a job but she found a reason not to work anymore (said it was Slow at work...).

 

Of course I can see this being a possessive side of him--as in, he thinks he can do all of this better than her.

 

Need I say more?

[Gwyneth]

I'm sure you saw this coming.

 

I'm glad you think that alot of SAHM's just sit on their butts all day and do nothing, living off their husbands. But of course you were probably just meaning her, since she is the one you don't care for.

 

Where did I say A Lot of SAHM's just sit on their butts all day and do nothing?

 

People, don't make assumptions from what I type. Read what I type and go from there...don't make stuff up.

 

It is what it is--she quit her job, and he is the one with Most of the responsibilities.

[sb129]

He does the grocery shopping, the laundry, and the cleaning. Brings and picks up her child from school. She's Always "not feeling well." He cooks dinner. They share a car and he uses it to get to and from work. She was walking to work when she had a job but she found a reason not to work anymore (said it was Slow at work...).

 

Of course I can see this being a possessive side of him--as in, he thinks he can do all of this better than her.

 

Need I say more?

 

My my he is a busy man, AND he has time to get a bit on the side too!

Are you there when he does all these chores? This is what HE tells you. One side of the story Gwyneth, only one side of the story.

 

Most MMs portray themselves as hard done by, woe is me, my wife is so awful types. Its how they get into your knickers....

[blind_otter]

He does the grocery shopping, the laundry, and the cleaning. Brings and picks up her child from school. She's Always "not feeling well." He cooks dinner. They share a car and he uses it to get to and from work. She was walking to work when she had a job but she found a reason not to work anymore (said it was Slow at work...).

 

Of course I can see this being a possessive side of him--as in, he thinks he can do all of this better than her.

 

Need I say more?

 

Wow, if he really does all this (and obviously you only get one side of the story, I'm just saying -- have you observed this for yourself?) then he's a real dumbass to stay in this marriage.

 

Just saying. If anyone ever described that routine to me I would say the same thing to their face.

[sb129]

Wow, if he really does all this (and obviously you only get one side of the story, I'm just saying -- have you observed this for yourself?) then he's a real dumbass to stay in this marriage.

 

Just saying.

 

Snap B_O. Snap.

[EnigmasMuse]

Where did I say A Lot of SAHM's just sit on their butts all day and do nothing?

 

People, don't make assumptions from what I type. Read what I type and go from there...don't make stuff up.

 

It is what it is--she quit her job, and he is the one with Most of the responsibilities.

 

 

OH hunnychild hunnychild....

 

Go back and read the last part of my post....I did say of course you were referring to HER. Its gonna be alright.

[Gwyneth]

He didn't come out and say he does all these things on his own--I at first got this impression when we'd have discussions about the grocery store, doing laundry, etc.

 

I then one day asked if he and his wife share these responsiblities because I thought that was very awsome if they did, and he said no, he does these on his days' off. He is off when she was at work (when she had a job). They both worked five days' per week--I don't understand and it's not my place to say she is a bum, but I think Every woman would Love a husband that does it all. When I'd tell him he's every wifes dream, he'd make excuses, like it isn't a big deal he does these things. Again, I think it's more of an obsessive trait of his--saying that he probably doesn't think she can do these things as well as he can. He's this way about other things.

[whichwayisup]

--I at first got this impression when we'd have discussions about the grocery store, doing laundry, etc.

 

So then this information is NOT a fact. You've assumed because of afew conversations.

 

I suppose she never lifted a finger and left ALL dishes, laundry, grocery shopping for him to do, and pick her son up after he was spending alot of time with you?

 

Anyway, it's neither here or there seeing as he isn't your MM anymore, he's your EX-MM.

 

What he does, what his WIFE does now isn't your concern anymore.

[blind_otter]

He didn't come out and say he does all these things on his own--I at first got this impression when we'd have discussions about the grocery store, doing laundry, etc.

 

I then one day asked if he and his wife share these responsiblities because I thought that was very awsome if they did, and he said no, he does these on his days' off. He is off when she was at work (when she had a job). They both worked five days' per week--I don't understand and it's not my place to say she is a bum, but I think Every woman would Love a husband that does it all. When I'd tell him he's every wifes dream, he'd make excuses, like it isn't a big deal he does these things. Again, I think it's more of an obsessive trait of his--saying that he probably doesn't think she can do these things as well as he can. He's this way about other things.

 

Again no offense, but even if a male friend told me this stuff, I would tell him that he was one huge loser - a doormat. He basically bends over on a constant basis. Not every wife's dream. I appreciate a man who can set boundaries, who can stand up to me instead of being passive and just laying down with his belly exposed if I stamp my foot.

 

My exH was like that. Spineless.

[OldEurope]

So then this information is NOT a fact. You've assumed because of afew conversations.

 

I suppose she never lifted a finger and left ALL dishes, laundry, grocery shopping for him to do, and pick her son up after he was spending alot of time with you?

 

Anyway, it's neither here or there seeing as he isn't your MM anymore, he's your EX-MM.

 

What he does, what his WIFE does now isn't your concern anymore.

 

Oh, enough. I am "Team Gwenyth" and I am going to assume that the wife is a needy, bored oaf, as so many of the type she describes simply are.

 

(Joke!)

 

But seriously....To the point that what exMM and his WIFE! do IS Gwenyth's concern, if in fact she does tell him. Because then there is an aftermath to deal with which could be tricky. We are only at Chapter One (or Two) here....

 

OE

[Gwyneth]

So then this information is NOT a fact. You've assumed because of afew conversations.

 

 

Wrong...it IS a Fact because when I asked him if they share the responsiblities, he said NO.

 

Anyway, this isn't the point of this thread.

[LucreziaBorgia]

I guess the question is, when the twins come and you are stretched beyond capacity with babies, work and running your household will you want MM to assume some responsibilities as well? It sounds like he may already have his hands full in his own household.

 

I hope you have some help in this Gwen - raising a child from birth to school age is exhausting work. I couldn't imagine twins!

[bentnotbroken]

No--if you consider late 30s, early 40s young. She has many years and has had many patients. I have heard other parents say the twins hide behind each other and it's hard to pick up on the US0--especially at the state I'm in. I wouldn't say she's incompetent.

 

 

 

Yes, I do consider early 40's young. And some of us are young and sizzling, thank you very much.

[Gwyneth]

Yes, I do consider early 40's young. And some of us are young and sizzling, thank you very much.

 

ha ha.

 

 

LucreziaBorgia, I will be hiring a nanny to help me--that's the decision my mother and I thought best. Mother thinks it would be best if I had help on a full-time basis. As I have mentioned before, I will be working from home for the most part. I will be hiring someone who can assist me with the baby(ies) and some house chores--ie. laundry, some cleaning, etc. I have been working from home more and more lately--it works best for me and my boss is all for that (luckily). If I do need to go to work and the nanny is unable to help me, I can drop the baby(ies) off at daycare located in my office building. I need to look into that somemore--ie. is it free or what? That's on my agenda of "things to do!"

[LucreziaBorgia]

I am glad to see you have your ducks in a row! It sounds like you will be able to handle things pretty well.

[Gwyneth]

Right. Which is why I don't need that cheater and his demon to be a part of our lives.

[whichwayisup]

Right. Which is why I don't need that cheater and his demon to be a part of our lives.

 

If you decide NOT to tell, then yes. IF you do decide to tell, then he may be a part of your life forever.

[Gwyneth]

I have decided I will tell him for the sake of the baby(ies). I can't think about my needs, but the needs of the baby(ies). I haven't spoken to him as of yet though. I have no idea what his status is right now as far as his injury--I had heard he will be home soon. I sent him an email sending him my wishes and told him to please contact me when he is up to it because we need to seriously talk and I need to tell him something. I cannot chase him and make him call me--he needs to do that on his own. I will give him a month before reconsidering shooting him another email. I'll probably end up seeing him at his job if and when he returns anyway--big as a whale I'm sure (me that is). Then he will know