Bought a new Home today The Adventure Begins!

[Event Horizon]

He will, if he needs to. I believe he's in a process that is preparing him for any eventuality.

And what if he contacts this chick and she starts the cake-eating routine?

 

What if he starts and can't stop and has to live without her every single damn night while getting scraps from her.

 

You can't prepare for that kind of hurt and pain.

 

If he's going to do this, I want him to get her. Win her. NOT get scraps from her.

 

E..H

[LakesideDream]

And what if he contacts this chick and she starts the cake-eating routine?

 

What if he starts and can't stop and has to live without her every single damn night while getting scraps from her.

 

You can't prepare for that kind of hurt and pain.

 

If he's going to do this, I want him to get her. Win her. NOT get scraps from her.

 

E..H

 

 

Now that's a question I can answer. First, I'm wouldn't be to worried about her being a "cake eater". I do expect that to be a phase in any eventual positive outcome. It takes time to successfully dissolve a decades long marriage good or bad. Once my ex got serious, it took 2 years for her to leave. IF my GF needs time, I'll give it to her.

 

Cake eating isn't the worse thing in the world. The more contact the better my chances are of eventually reaching my goal. I can handle just about anything, emotional pain included. I've been there and done that. Additionally, pain is a reletive thing. When you are in pain, you are still alive. I don't expect you to understand that, it's a U.S.M.C. "man" thing, and would have needed to be there.

 

Finally, what do you have against scraps guy? Would you rather starve? All or nothing stopped working for me at about 17. If it would have happened earlier I wouldn't be in this situation.

[chuckgirl]

IMO, that's only because this thread has been dripping with estrogen. I little testosterone can be a shock to the system.

If memory serves, LSD is 58. How I wish he'd meet a wonderful single woman who'd make him forget the married one. Only because I fear the pain he may well have to face. I wouldn't wish it on ANYONE. Most of you know damn well what I'm talking about.

I know.

 

But he's set on this course, so I hope he gets her.

Me, too.

[Event Horizon]

When you are in pain, you are still alive. I don't expect you to understand that, it's a U.S.M.C. "man" thing, and would have needed to be there.

Without getting anymore specific, I graduated Marine Corps boot camp in 1990 (San Diego). Now, I didn't see anymore action than that of the strip joints of Myrtle Beach. I still had training at Camp Pendleton and tank training at Ft. Knox to keep me out of the gulf war. I don't remember if you saw action or not, but my graduating MC boot camp is the same as you so don't go throwing the Corps into this.

 

as to the rest of your post I'll take your word and leave you to your plans, except the scraps part...

 

Come on man..do you really want the woman you love having sex...or even being near another man? I can see taking it for ahwile but...you don't seem like the kind of guy who's going to be able to stomach that for long.

 

E..H

[LakesideDream]

Without getting anymore specific, I graduated Marine Corps boot camp in 1990 (San Diego). Now, I didn't see anymore action than that of the strip joints of Myrtle Beach. I still had training at Camp Pendleton and tank training at Ft. Knox to keep me out of the gulf war. I don't remember if you saw action or not, but my graduating MC boot camp is the same as you so don't go throwing the Corps into this.

 

as to the rest of your post I'll take your word and leave you to your plans, except the scraps part...

 

Come on man..do you really want the woman you love having sex...or even being near another man? I can see taking it for ahwile but...you don't seem like the kind of guy who's going to be able to stomach that for long.

 

E..H

 

Officer. Lots a time in country. Lots of holes and scars. Never gave up. Really guy, you'd have to be in the s**t to understand that when you're still feeling pain, you're still alive. Congrats on graduating Boot. Ditto Armor. But seriously, they had running water, and BEDS in Myrtle. A lot of things happened between '70 and '90 too.

 

Anyway, Semper Fi

[Event Horizon]

Officer. Lots a time in country. Lots of holes and scars. Never gave up. Really guy, you'd have to be in the s**t to understand that when you're still feeling pain, you're still alive. Congrats on graduating Boot. Ditto Armor. But seriously, they had running water, and BEDS in Myrtle. A lot of things happened between '70 and '90 too.

 

Anyway, Semper Fi

Yeah, Semper Fi, man ..and good luck. I'll go back to reading this thread. I might still pop in now and then.

 

E..H

[chuckgirl]

Ok, you U.S.M.C. guys are talking code. I'm not following.

[Event Horizon]

Ok, you U.S.M.C. guys are talking code. I'm not following.

It's the USMC motto..it's Latin for(clears throat)... Always Faithful..

 

It's supposed to be a way of life but we don't always do so good.

 

E..H

[chuckgirl]

It's the USMC motto..it's Latin for(clears throat)... Always Faithful..

 

It's supposed to be a way of life but we don't always do so good.

 

E..H

 

Human, are we?

 

Actually I think if the situation is right, faithful should not be a problem. If it is right and the other person is not faithful, they just suck.

[OWoman]

You really gotta get your act together dude. All this nest building is not what women want. If you want this married chick then go for it, but please stop with the interior decorators, etc.. You gotta regrow your balls.

 

You can impress the women here all you want with your cute domestic nest building ways but that isn't going to help you get what you want.

 

Women want a strong man and nest building doesn't fall into that category. Women here will disagree but they don't count. They are just being entertained. If you haven't already you need to make some male friends where you live now, quit acting feminine, and go for what you want.

 

Jesus, if she ever does come over you don't want the place looking all domesticated. It's not masculine and for christ's sake you are a single male, not a pussywhipped attached woos forced to domesticate his pad.

 

My first piece of advice would be to spend more money on the HDTV, etc.. I spent $20,000 on my home theater and it drips with testosterone. This is what any normal single male would want. Here is a site that will set you right...is 90% male, and will help you REALLY build a "guy's" pad:

 

www.avsforum.com

 

I'm talking Blu-Ray, REALLY nice speakers, seperate processor, amp, and a subwoofer that costs at least a grand...the whole nine yards. Dump the LCD and get a plasma..they have better picture quality. Pioneer Kuro Elite is No. 1.

 

This is the mecca of home theater sites. Build yourself a nice home system. Something you can bring her over to show off and not look like a feminine wimp. Plus, you'll enjoy the hell out of it.

 

 

E..H

 

This is just utter bollox! When were you last around a REAL woman - I don't mean a plastic simpering blow-up Barbie type, I mean the kind of woman that couldn't wait to get you back to jump your bones so just had her wicked way with you in the nearest convenient spot and then took you back and kept you up all night until you were begging for some sleep three days later?

 

Your ideal as described above screams "boy!", not "Man!" No woman over the age of 25 is going to fall for that - it reeks of trying to impress in a high school jock kind of way, and what real woman wants to waste time watching some adolescent show off his new-sprouted facial hair when there's hot and heavy action to be had from those who DON'T NEED to show off because they're confident enough in what they are.

 

Women - real women - are not impressed with posturing. It takes substance to impress a real woman. Good luck, EH, I hope you get there one day. At which point you can start taking advice from LsD - he'll have plenty to give, and he's generous enough to do so too.

 

LsD - I'm glad you didn't take any of this adolescent posturing to heart. There's more than enough testosterone oozing out of your posts for you to feel you have to amplify it with the Clearasil stuff suggested above. If your MW's worth having, she's so not going to be impressed with geeky teen stuff. Save that for Britney or Paris. A real woman wants a REAL man, not a boy trying to hide the squeak in his voice picking a fight with the tough dude in the bar to prove that he is a man, really, really...

[OWoman]

Ok, you U.S.M.C. guys are talking code. I'm not following.

 

 

It's a testosterone thing. Hi Fi. Wi Fi. Semper Fi.

 

(Though why they don't abbreviate the "semper" the way they abbreviate "fidelis" I'm not sure... I guess that would require consistency? )

[White Flower]

It's a testosterone thing. Hi Fi. Wi Fi. Semper Fi.

 

(Though why they don't abbreviate the "semper" the way they abbreviate "fidelis" I'm not sure... I guess that would require consistency? )

 

I've wondered about this, too. I think they just think it's cool sounding, lol.

[Lookingforward]

EH is right in one aspect - which is that this move and nest building etc etc IS all directed towards the MW.

 

I think this is becoming like an old time movie serial - we are all waiting after the cliff hanger episode to see what happens next

 

This may well become "the thread that wouldn't die"

[carhill]

What was that movie with Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward? "The Long, Hot Summer"??

 

Methinks it'll be a long, hot summer in the low desert. Can't hurt that the movie principles celebrated their golden anniversary earlier this year

[LakesideDream]

This is just utter bollox! When were you last around a REAL woman - I don't mean a plastic simpering blow-up Barbie type, I mean the kind of woman that couldn't wait to get you back to jump your bones so just had her wicked way with you in the nearest convenient spot and then took you back and kept you up all night until you were begging for some sleep three days later?

 

Your ideal as described above screams "boy!", not "Man!" No woman over the age of 25 is going to fall for that - it reeks of trying to impress in a high school jock kind of way, and what real woman wants to waste time watching some adolescent show off his new-sprouted facial hair when there's hot and heavy action to be had from those who DON'T NEED to show off because they're confident enough in what they are.

 

Women - real women - are not impressed with posturing. It takes substance to impress a real woman. Good luck, EH, I hope you get there one day. At which point you can start taking advice from LsD - he'll have plenty to give, and he's generous enough to do so too.

 

LsD - I'm glad you didn't take any of this adolescent posturing to heart. There's more than enough testosterone oozing out of your posts for you to feel you have to amplify it with the Clearasil stuff suggested above. If your MW's worth having, she's so not going to be impressed with geeky teen stuff. Save that for Britney or Paris. A real woman wants a REAL man, not a boy trying to hide the squeak in his voice picking a fight with the tough dude in the bar to prove that he is a man, really, really...

 

 

Owoman, I of course agree with you. I actually have a friend, a long time bachelor over 50 years old (married once 2 years no kids) who has a house like this guy describes, full of TV's and electronic's. Literally a stereo in every room. Not "clean", not dusted, hardly presentable. His "equipment" doubles as furniture. He also drives a Red Corvette, and has a powerboat.

 

Claims most women are "gold diggers", and seldom even dates. He does have "tunes" and a "home theater" when he's at home though. Claims it's just the way he likes it.

 

It's not my way.

 

I personally wouldn't live like that.

[chuckgirl]

Owoman, I of course agree with you. I actually have a friend, a long time bachelor over 50 years old (married once 2 years no kids) who has a house like this guy describes, full of TV's and electronic's. Literally a stereo in every room. Not "clean", not dusted, hardly presentable. His "equipment" doubles as furniture. He also drives a Red Corvette, and has a powerboat.

 

Claims most women are "gold diggers", and seldom even dates. He does have "tunes" and a "home theater" when he's at home though. Claims it's just the way he likes it.

 

It's not my way.

 

I personally wouldn't live like that.

 

Your friend is an idiot. That is his way of compensating his ego.

 

I don't think most women are gold diggers. I just believe that most want a man that isn't a loser, who is going no where. I would think a man who needs all those toys is trying to impress the wrong type of woman. One who is a gold digger. Perhaps he is shallow, so is always looking and interested in all the wrong types of women.

 

I don't think you are that type of man. You sound kind, thoughtful and want to create a life your MW would easily love to be part of instead of being with the man she doesn't want to be with. Although, she may have a hard time leaving her life of comfort, instead of going into the unknown. You have talked to her, as where we haven't. You know what she wants.

 

I just hope that you let her know soon, but timing does have to be right. I just hate the waiting.......as most of us do, who are keeping up with you......but, it isn't our life.

 

But if she doesn't come, I hope it doesn't crush you too hard. You have done so much (for yourself) that you would have many women looking for someone just like you.

 

I hate this................I want this to happen, but also hate the guilt that comes from the fact this is a married woman you are going to try to share your life with. But I totally understand your situation.

[Event Horizon]

Owoman, I of course agree with you. I actually have a friend, a long time bachelor over 50 years old (married once 2 years no kids) who has a house like this guy describes, full of TV's and electronic's. Literally a stereo in every room. Not "clean", not dusted, hardly presentable. His "equipment" doubles as furniture. He also drives a Red Corvette, and has a powerboat.

 

Claims most women are "gold diggers", and seldom even dates. He does have "tunes" and a "home theater" when he's at home though. Claims it's just the way he likes it.

 

It's not my way.

 

I personally wouldn't live like that.

They're called toys and most men have them. Your friend sounds like a pretty normal guy to me.

 

"I personally wouldn't live like that"

 

Oh who are you kidding ...you'll live any way the MW tells you to live.

 

You did get one thing right: the electronics do love to collect dust. But that's part of the fun. Breaking everything down to clean it makes it sound new again. Kinda like a wash and tune-up make a car feel faster.

 

E..H

[chuckgirl]

They're called toys and most men have them. Your friend sounds like a pretty normal guy to me.

 

"I personally wouldn't live like that"

 

Oh who are you kidding ...you'll live any way the MW tells you to live.

 

You did get one thing right: the electronics do love to collect dust. But that's part of the fun. Breaking everything down to clean it makes it sound new again. Kinda like a wash and tune-up make a car feel faster.

 

E..H

 

 

Yes, most men have toys. Nothing wrong with that. My H has never liked them, either. It is I, who likes them. But....if it is for you, go for it. But if it is to impress the women, that isn't what they are looking for. It is the personality of the man. Oh, unless they are gold diggers or shallow types. And if you are looking for a trophy not a wonderful relationship with your woman who is you best friend, it may work.

[Event Horizon]

Yes, most men have toys. Nothing wrong with that. My H has never liked them, either. It is I, who likes them. But....if it is for you, go for it. But if it is to impress the women, that isn't what they are looking for. It is the personality of the man. Oh, unless they are gold diggers or shallow types. And if you are looking for a trophy not a wonderful relationship with your woman who is you best friend, it may work.

You can't tell me though that his friend doesn't sound like a typical, normal single man.

 

Some men HAVE to worry about the gold digging aspect. The ones with something to lose anyway.

 

Not saying there aren't gold digging men as I'm sure there are.

 

And I'm not going to apologize for using my theater room to get laid. Men have been using movie theaters to get laid since they were invented. So have women. Also, having a theater room helps demonstrate, in a small way, that you have interests outside of relationships. It's been my experience that most women nowadays are like you, they like toys. I've never brought one in that didn't at least act like she was interested. I'm sure some were more than others. Regardless, if I ever get married, the theater is a package deal.

 

E..H

[LakesideDream]

Your friend is an idiot. That is his way of compensating his ego.

 

I don't think most women are gold diggers. I just believe that most want a man that isn't a loser, who is going no where. I would think a man who needs all those toys is trying to impress the wrong type of woman. One who is a gold digger. Perhaps he is shallow, so is always looking and interested in all the wrong types of women.

 

I don't think you are that type of man. You sound kind, thoughtful and want to create a life your MW would easily love to be part of instead of being with the man she doesn't want to be with. Although, she may have a hard time leaving her life of comfort, instead of going into the unknown. You have talked to her, as where we haven't. You know what she wants.

 

I just hope that you let her know soon, but timing does have to be right. I just hate the waiting.......as most of us do, who are keeping up with you......but, it isn't our life.

 

But if she doesn't come, I hope it doesn't crush you too hard. You have done so much (for yourself) that you would have many women looking for someone just like you.

 

I hate this................I want this to happen, but also hate the guilt that comes from the fact this is a married woman you are going to try to share your life with. But I totally understand your situation.

 

 

While not an idiot, I do think my friend is compensating with toys for not having someone to share his life with. He's 52 years old and beginning to see an end that isn't so happy. Frankly, I doubt he knows how to deal with women at all. Two years out of 52 isn't much exposure.

 

Again, I did, and am doing this move for me admittedly on numerous levels. I chose the place because it was near my dream, however if that connection wasn't there I would be doing the same here, or somewhere else. It's fairly ironic that this town is 50 miles from my second choice of places to live when my ex and I made the move 10 years ago to "start over" in the marriage. We would have driven right through this place to get to the other... and this would obviously been a better choice. I could have ended up here 10 years ago without the slightest clue that my "OW" was living here. That would have been a shock!

 

I don't think "most" or even many women are "gold diggers". That's not something I give much thought too.

 

As far as the idea that I'm doing what I'm doing to the house for the OW, there is some truth in it. Many, many people especially here at LS have told me that VERY HIGH on a womans list of needs in a relationship is security. As I male I hadn't given that much thought. As a man I'd live in a cave, and kill bears for a woman I loved. House, furniture, linen, appliances, and MONEY in the bank are something I'm advised that women look at carefully. I'm paying attention.

 

I'm happier though, back to work, paying the bills and debts. Always good for the self esteem. Good self esteem is another one of those things too.

 

Thanks for the comments.

[OWoman]

As far as the idea that I'm doing what I'm doing to the house for the OW, there is some truth in it. Many, many people especially here at LS have told me that VERY HIGH on a womans list of needs in a relationship is security. As I male I hadn't given that much thought. As a man I'd live in a cave, and kill bears for a woman I loved. House, furniture, linen, appliances, and MONEY in the bank are something I'm advised that women look at carefully. I'm paying attention.

 

I'm happier though, back to work, paying the bills and debts. Always good for the self esteem. Good self esteem is another one of those things too.

 

Security is one of those "necessary but not sufficient" conditions. No woman wants to be saddled with a sponger - not because women are gold diggers, but because women expect their men to be equal partners, not children. So, EH - ironically where your "toys" are supposed to signify "security" (which they may do to women under 25), to REAL women they signal "security blanket" and shout BOY rather than MAN. Security is of itself something one wants to tick off and forget - dragging it into the foreground so heavily with all those toys signals that there's nothing else, no real substance. Dating material, maybe - this is the kind of guy you can go to the pub with, meet friends and sit with your girlfriends rolling your eyeballs while the guys posture up against each other, comparing whose "toys" are smaller, flashier, more expensive... Long term romantic material? Not until there's some serious maturity mileage been added.

 

Self-esteem though IS critical! A guy who is confident in himself will be confident in bed, and won't feel the need to hide behind "toys" there, either, having nothing of his own to bring to the party....

[LakesideDream]

Funny (and unfortunate) thing happened this morning. My buddie with the stereo's, vette, and boat just put his boat up for sale (paid/paying loan, $80,000) because of the downturn in the economy. He works as a car salesman, and nobody's buying, thus no income.

 

The 2006 Vette, can't be far off.

 

Very sad I think. I hope he's not reduced to his stereo's and a Yugo by the econimic downturn.

[OWoman]

Funny (and unfortunate) thing happened this morning. My buddie with the stereo's, vette, and boat just put his boat up for sale (paid/paying loan, $80,000) because of the downturn in the economy. He works as a car salesman, and nobody's buying, thus no income.

 

The 2006 Vette, can't be far off.

 

Very sad I think. I hope he's not reduced to his stereo's and a Yugo by the econimic downturn.

 

 

I'd offer to take the Corvette off his hands but on reflection I think I'd prefer an Alfa Spyder.

[LakesideDream]

It's been two weeks since the last entry in this seemingly "never ending" journal. Not a very good two weeks either.

 

I have become very comfortable in my new home.. Not just a house anymore, it's rapidly becoming my new home. It's very comfortable. I'm back working, and have aclimated to the climate and pace of the new town.

 

Something is also becoming clear. No matter what I've done, or what plans I try to make, there is always something lacking. Now I'm convinced that I need to make "personal" improvements. Loose weight, hit the gym, walk in the morning, become the man I was 20 years ago. I know, not very realistic. Probably not reasonable either. It's just "one more thing".

 

The truth? It's been hard to come by this last 3 months. It didn't surface when I was busy with the physical move, or when I was working to make my house a great place to live. Didn't surface when I began working again, as I was well focused on that. It was only when life began to settle into a normal routine that I had to face the truth.

 

I'm afraid of the possibility of rejection. More afraid than I can remember being before, short of dodging N. Viet bullets. Six months ago I honestly didn't believe that I was afraid of anything. I was wrong.

 

I am a bit suprised that there hasn't been an "accidental" meeting as this is a smallish town, and I'm all over it, literally. I had a short business errand three doors down from her house! Luckily (?) for me she was working at the time. I'm going to the 4th Fireworks celebration.. maybe there? I know there is a part of me hoping that something like that happens. I've even thought for hours about what I'll say if it happens.

 

I haven't been able to make it happen though. I never thought I would become a coward.

[Lookingforward]

It's been two weeks since the last entry in this seemingly "never ending" journal. Not a very good two weeks either.

 

I have become very comfortable in my new home.. Not just a house anymore, it's rapidly becoming my new home. It's very comfortable. I'm back working, and have aclimated to the climate and pace of the new town.

 

Something is also becoming clear. No matter what I've done, or what plans I try to make, there is always something lacking. Now I'm convinced that I need to make "personal" improvements. Loose weight, hit the gym, walk in the morning, become the man I was 20 years ago. I know, not very realistic. Probably not reasonable either. It's just "one more thing".

 

The truth? It's been hard to come by this last 3 months. It didn't surface when I was busy with the physical move, or when I was working to make my house a great place to live. Didn't surface when I began working again, as I was well focused on that. It was only when life began to settle into a normal routine that I had to face the truth.

 

I'm afraid of the possibility of rejection. More afraid than I can remember being before, short of dodging N. Viet bullets. Six months ago I honestly didn't believe that I was afraid of anything. I was wrong.

 

I am a bit suprised that there hasn't been an "accidental" meeting as this is a smallish town, and I'm all over it, literally. I had a short business errand three doors down from her house! Luckily (?) for me she was working at the time. I'm going to the 4th Fireworks celebration.. maybe there? I know there is a part of me hoping that something like that happens. I've even thought for hours about what I'll say if it happens.

 

I haven't been able to make it happen though. I never thought I would become a coward.

 

Not a coward, just scared of what may or may not happen... and yes, probably more scared than anything of rejection and a bad reaction from the MW.

 

So.... you're just going to "let it happen" whenever rather than being proactive about it ?