Falling in love with a married man

[Guest]

 

Single woman go for it! I am happy and have lived with my ( marriedman ) and now husband for 6 years now!

 

Be strong and ignore the current wife, and happy hunting!

 

Does that include those of us who might want to go after your husband?

[Guest]

Not if he is a hardcore cakeman. A cakeman can truly love his wife, but have his emotions compartmentalized in such a way that he can still have a need and a love for an OW too. He won't have either/or. A cakeman needs both, much to the detriment of both the OW and the W.

Or he's got a good partnership/friendship with his wife, but simply no romance or affection... That's the boat I'm in.

 

I don't want to leave my family, I love being a father, and my wife is my friend despite the fact we haven't been "physical" for years. I still get romantic feelings toward other women and have been able to resist the temptation to pursue most of the time, but slipped once and feel it starting to happen again.

[bunset]

Or he's got a good partnership/friendship with his wife, but simply no romance or affection... That's the boat I'm in.

 

I don't want to leave my family, I love being a father, and my wife is my friend despite the fact we haven't been "physical" for years. I still get romantic feelings toward other women and have been able to resist the temptation to pursue most of the time, but slipped once and feel it starting to happen again.

Please don't 'slip' again.. be honest with yourself and your wife. If it's that good a partnership, then you should be able to tell her about it and talk it through.

[Guest]

Hi ladies. My husband and I have recently tried to piece back together what was left of our marriage after his year long affair. I am not here to come down on any one but I must say that your justifications for having an affair with a married man are alarming. In our case, the other woman has been obsessed. She has poked holes in the condom that they were using...she has given birth to his child and she continues to call our home and show up on his job ready to fight and embarrass him in front of his co workers. We currently have a court case scheduled for her outrageous behaviors. I am not making excuses for my husband because honestly, I feel that he is getting what he deserves. However, it pains me that she-the other woman feels the need to degrade me as well. She constantly tells me how the only reason he is still with me is because it is "cheaper to keep her." I have never said to her that I come from a wealthy family so the matter of money is not an issue for me. I don't acknowledge her comments because I feel she is beneath me. She has stalked us in every which way. No matter where we are there she is. It is really hard on us and our children. My husband and I are currently in counseling but it is a process that is hard to get over because simply put she won't let us forget her. All I have to say is, I am not sure what the numbers are for men that leave the wife for the other woman but women ask yourself if he did leave shouldn't his lack of committment be in question? What makes you think that because he has met you that he has suddenly seen the light? The whole thing is sad. No you can not help who you fall in love with but you can help who you hurt. And the other woman should not in any case be the target. I go to sleep every night with a knife under my pillow. This person has caused us so much grief that the possiblility of living a "normal" life again seems like a distant memory. So to the other women out there think before you sink. Much love and God Bless.

[Mascara]

I feel sorry for you. You don't deserve this, why should you be paying the price for things that they did?

 

Her reaction is typical of the deluded mistress who convinces herself that her MM is only staying for the sake of the kids/money/goldfish. She knows the truth - that your husband is staying because he wants to - but her vanity won't allow her to accept it.

 

Can I just tell you my justfications for having an affair with a "married" man? He was one whose marriage truly was over. His wife had asked for a divorce, then kept changing her mind and said she couldn't be bothered to do the formalities. He was a typically lazy man who couldn't be bothered either. He lived away during the week, met me, and when it became serious between us he told his wife and had a reason to finally file for divorce. I consider him as being married in no more than name only. When his wife was told about us, she wasn't really bothered, her main concern was that her financial support would go down. Apart from that, his family and hers have approved that the lame duck of a marriage had finally been put down.

 

Back to you, and I hope that you can find peace. Pity her, she has come out with nothing.

[Guest]

Well I'm writing for the first time. I think I read everyone's postings for an hour and a half. It's hard when you think you're the only one in the situation of "loving a MM," but it's enlightening when you've realized there are others out there.

Maybe I'm supposed to write about my situation, and then I get feedback?

Ok, well I am in love with my boss at work. He is older than I, and obviously, he is married. He has children. His wife found out. Things went dead after that. Then all of a sudden little things started happening again. Kisses, etc.

I'm not sure if I'm losing my mind, but how can one man send you on the downspiral of depression, especially when you a bright student with your whole life ahead of you?

I am totally consumed by the thought of him. I am afraid that I won't ever be interested in another. This has been going on for about 6 mos.

Anyone have any comments as to being in love with your boss who is significantly older?

 

rep:I am also in the same situation and i too love a married man i want to tell u one thing make clear from ur mind that your supportive in you rlove from your boss or not bcoz getting support is a must, is he intrested in you or just one way , if it is one way then kindly i advice you to forget him bcoz this wont work leave to god if you are a believer and try to see your boss as a friend.May be my advice my upset you if you care to follow my advice then if he also loves then also think about his family .

[Chinook]

Ohmigosh. I can't believe I read this thing. It is all about MORALS. Plain and simple. I'm sorry but it is. I do not buy into the "I can't walk away". You can. I am single. Last year I ended a relationship with a guy I was drawn into. This guy was brilliant. He was funny. He was charming. He loved me. I loved him. One day he didn't take one of my calls. Another day I offered to drive over to his town to see him. He ranted and raved for me to stay right where I was. RED FLAGS went up all over the place. We'd been in a relationship 2 months. It was a LDR mainly but even so. We'd gotten physical. I thought he was the business. He rocked my world. Those red flags went up and I wanted to know what the hell was up. I spoke to a girlfriend and a guyfriend who have both been in EMR's and they BOTH said simultaneously that he was married. I got way the hell out of Dodge. The next time I saw him we had the conversation and I asked him outright. He at first denied it. Then it came out. He was married with two sons.

 

I was COMPLETELY blown away. I mean devastated. I FELT like I had my world stolen. MY future stolen. I felt hideous. I felt dirty and horrendous. I looked him in the face and told him it was over and we were done. He had apparently been married for 15 years and I was supposedly his first affair (yeah right!). He begged and pleaded with me and I said NO. I dumped his backside so fast and I never looked back.

 

I toyed with the idea of writing to his wife to teach him a lesson. I am SO GLAD I didn't. Why should I have HURT HER and his kids..? It turned out, SHE knew EXACTLY what he was up to. Thing is though, this guy has money... he had been SO GOOD at covering his tracks that he left no evidence for a divorce. It apparently got so bad that HE BEGGED ME to write his wife a letter to confirm our affair. Uh, no way José... you made your bed, you lie in it. And apparently his W felt the same. She screwed him for everything he had.

 

What made me turn my back..? I do not give myself 100% to ANYONE who doesn't give themselves to me. I am worth MORE than that.

[Guest]

wb

I can see a lot of people have an opinion on this subject without even hearing the whole story. Who said anything about children? Does he even have any? I think the factors of the relationship make a huge difference. Is this a regular occurance for either of you? Has he had mistresses before? The women who responded to this are obviously very threatened by the idea of you. Honestly I'm a wife and a mistress. Who are any of us to cast judgement. I know that recently I had to make a decision because my attention could not be in two places at once. That was my personal decision to make, noone could decide for me. I know I made the right decision but that doesn't mean my heart doesn't still ache for "the other man." The question is why?

 

 

I have been with my married boyfriend for 2 years now. We started out as work aquanitances then became very good friends. He doesn't ever bad mouth his wife. She is actually a nice woman, a good mother, but someone who doesn't share common interests with her husband anymore and he doesn't with her. They have acknowledge that neither are happy but they have a daughter that is more important right now. She doesn't know about me. He and I didn't mean to fall in love with each other but it happened. We have talked about his leaving when the time is right. Now is not good for the either of us. I am divorced and recovering finacially which I want to do on my own. And he has a daughter that is in need of a father and mother at the moment.

 

You cannot always control how you feel about someone or what destiny brings. I think he is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I enjoy him each and every day. He and his wife no longer have sex and pretty much live separate lives. He and I spend a lot of time together and see each other almost everyday. So you cannot always judge the old "book" by its cover. Sometimes you have to do what feels right whether is is morally right or not. If he never left her, I would have no regrets as he has completely changed my life. And I love him for it.

[Guest]

wb

 

 

I have been with my married boyfriend for 2 years now. We started out as work aquanitances then became very good friends. He doesn't ever bad mouth his wife. She is actually a nice woman, a good mother, but someone who doesn't share common interests with her husband anymore and he doesn't with her. They have acknowledge that neither are happy but they have a daughter that is more important right now. She doesn't know about me. He and I didn't mean to fall in love with each other but it happened. We have talked about his leaving when the time is right. Now is not good for the either of us. I am divorced and recovering finacially which I want to do on my own. And he has a daughter that is in need of a father and mother at the moment.

 

You cannot always control how you feel about someone or what destiny brings. I think he is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I enjoy him each and every day. He and his wife no longer have sex and pretty much live separate lives. He and I spend a lot of time together and see each other almost everyday. So you cannot always judge the old "book" by its cover. Sometimes you have to do what feels right whether is is morally right or not. If he never left her, I would have no regrets as he has completely changed my life. And I love him for it.

 

I'd almost bet you're my xMM other OW.

If you're not, then ignore the stuff below.

 

If so.... let him know I love him, too. and I hope you both figure things out for yourselves, because I'm finally doing that.

I have to ask.....

Is he working on his M?

Do you know if he's come to terms with his need for "more than one woman"?

Does he realize that he really ought to be setting a better example of self-sufficiency for his daughter, instead of her seeing that it's a good idea to keep a dead marriage going.

How are you with that?

 

I'm not trying to be judgemental, since I've been there.

Just an ugly dose of reality.

I hope your heart can be whole.

[Guest]

I can see a lot of people have an opinion on this subject without even hearing the whole story. Who said anything about children? Does he even have any? I think the factors of the relationship make a huge difference. Is this a regular occurance for either of you? Has he had mistresses before? The women who responded to this are obviously very threatened by the idea of you. Honestly I'm a wife and a mistress. Who are any of us to cast judgement. I know that recently I had to make a decision because my attention could not be in two places at once. That was my personal decision to make, noone could decide for me. I know I made the right decision but that doesn't mean my heart doesn't still ache for "the other man." The question is why?

 

I agree with this 100%. I am a mistress and my boyfriend's wife does know. I can tell you with all certainty that it will not be easy, and it will tear your heart out if he decides to leave her for you because yes you do know that it is wrong. Keep in mind people, different situations blur moral lines. Take a good hard look at this man's relationship with his wife. If he is having you on the side, then leave him. However, if you are what he truely wants...then you have every right to fight for him.

[Be Free to Be Free]

Hey Yang,

 

The only way to break the spell is to get yourself busy with things you really enjoy in life. Slowly break away little by little by getting involved with yourself and friends even making new ones -so you don't have the time like you use to. It is funny that the woman is considered the "home wrecker" when there are double standards going on here. What about the single guy that cheats with a married woman??? Falls in love with her? Is he the same? Why do guys get a way with not being the same? I did not know the man I fell in love with was married until too late--he told me 3 months later. Just with me getting busy and being long distance has been helping --I really do not have the time to talk to him as much. I know this is short term and found out he has kids too. Been on both sides of the coin with similiar situations in my own family. I am slowly moving away from him because I know he will never leave her because of the kids no matter how much he tries to convince me differently. Just a matter of time to not be interested anymore--it is hard yes I know because you really fell deep in love with this person--but you have to think--will he do this to you too if he leaves? Lets remember there is more involved than what meets the eye. No it is not easy and takes time. I am not critical of others or judge people because when you judge someone it falls back on your head and you end up doing something the same way without even knowing it. GL2U!

[justice]

I can't give you any advice on your situation. What I can give you is the wife's point of view regarding you. If you cheat with her husband regardless of if it's physical or not, you will be deeply hurting another human being regardless of what he tells you about her. I can tell you that I feel betrayed, enraged and very definately out to get the other woman in my relationship, so I'd be careful if I were you, this could easily escalate into a dangerous situation for everyone. After all if he lies to her how do you know he's telling you the truth about her?

[intimate35]

I have recently been pursued by an unhappily married man. I am sort of in a relationship with my x-boyfreind and I have been seeing this MM for about 3 weeks. He is miserable at home and says he wants a divorce. He has a child. He was completely honest with me before we wentr out the first time and all I saw was red flags---but I went anyway b/c there was a connection over phone conversations. Just the other day we started being intimate and I find myself drawn to him. Thee is something very special between us and I keep fighting it b/c of his baggage---its so hard---I wan to just let him go--to get myself out of a situation that can only be bad---but i want him---I want him---I am so lost and confused----and yet I can't seem to just let him go. I know he isn't happy with his wife---and I wasn't happy with my x. But I am still in love with my X and he isn't in love with his wife---and we can't be together----

[foolish heart nj]

this whole site is so negative. can't it ever work out? what if man you met was miserable before and now is seeking help to get out? what if wife is miserable as well? can't u trust anything at this point?

[Guest]

this whole site is so negative. can't it ever work out? what if man you met was miserable before and now is seeking help to get out? what if wife is miserable as well? can't u trust anything at this point?

 

Then that's exactly what he should do - get out. I mean, come on. If someone has an affair because he's truly miserable in his marriage and truly wants out, it generally means s/he's just too scared of the possibility of being alone post-divorce.

 

In other words, s/he's chicken-*****. Exactly what kind of "help" would a MM be seeking from an OW to make such a decision? Why not go to a licensed therapist instead, who would actually be unbiased about the situation and might help him figure out how he's really feeling?

 

And of course, for a cakeman, the affair is often the thing that makes a marriage bearable...hardly likely to give him the kick in the rear he'd need.

 

I just don't get why some people can't do other people the courtesy of ending one relationship before starting another. But again, it's the conflict between that basic human decency and a person acting on their incredibly selfish fears - in which his (or her) comfort rolls right over anyone else's. Bah.

[notte]

Any ladies out there facing this situation? Falling in love with a married man? I don't know what should I do now.. leave him or carry on the relationship with him.. I am so confused...

 

I wouldn't tell anyone to stay with a MM, let alone fall in love with them, but you have to follow your heart. A lot of them will tell you that they're gonna leave their W, but how often does that happen? I just read an article today in fact, which said that only ONE and I repeat ONE percent of MM leave their wives for their OW. If your MM doesn't fall into that 1%, then run like hell. You're gonna be the one who gets hurt.

 

I am involved with a MM and he does fall into that 1%. BUT, before he decided to leave his W, I was hurting just like you!! We knew we had feelings for each other and even told the other one that we were 'falling' for them. Finally, it came out that we loved each other.

 

If I knew in my heart that a MM wasn't going to leave his W for me and I knew I was falling in love with him, I would have to stop it. It may have been to late and I may have been heartbroken, but I would have stopped it. It will only get worse. Depression is a bi*ch and can kill and that is something that you need to avoid at all costs.

[Guest]

Well I'm writing for the first time. I think I read everyone's postings for an hour and a half. It's hard when you think you're the only one in the situation of "loving a MM," but it's enlightening when you've realized there are others out there.

Maybe I'm supposed to write about my situation, and then I get feedback?

Ok, well I am in love with my boss at work. He is older than I, and obviously, he is married. He has children. His wife found out. Things went dead after that. Then all of a sudden little things started happening again. Kisses, etc.

I'm not sure if I'm losing my mind, but how can one man send you on the downspiral of depression, especially when you a bright student with your whole life ahead of you?

I am totally consumed by the thought of him. I am afraid that I won't ever be interested in another. This has been going on for about 6 mos.

Anyone have any comments as to being in love with your boss who is significantly older?

 

I have been (am in) in a very similar situation; I fell in love with an older, married man with fairly-young children, who had been married to his wife for many years. I really am uncomfortable going into any kind of details right now, but I find myself a few years later still having great memories of him and regretting we could not be together--so much so recently that I cry myself to sleep, thinking of what I can never have and of what I lost.

 

I constantly wonder if I should make a "grand gesture" and intrude upon his life to ask him to give us a chance together. I mean, I'm thinking about those classic love stories; you know the ones, where a man and woman have a passionate relationship together for a short time, but can never get married (already engaged to another, socio-economic status, etc). They live out their lives, feeling that they've settled for another mate, the whole time each wishing to be with their True-Love. And the story ends --either one is on their deathbed and confesses their love for/to their True-Love and the True-Love (and you) feel so bad that their whole life couldn't have been lived out with The One, or they finally do get to be together but only at the ends of their lives, and (you) wonder why couldn't they have been brave and stood up for what they really wanted.

 

That's what my heart says, while my brain says that it's nonsense, it'll never work, and I have my own life to leave and be happy with, and realistically, in my moments of lucidity, I know we'll never be. All these "what ifs" play circles around in my head and it's been driving me _crazy_. I think this is worse than unrequited love because it's the taste of having what you want and then it's taken away that really hurts. You _know_ what you're missing.

 

I have tried to find consolation in talking with a best friend, drowning my sorrows in music, exercising, but it becomes time to fall asleep and all I can do is think of him and missed opportunities. I've been stressing over this so much. I have been trying to figure out a way to deal with this loss. And then it occured to me... _loss_. Loss has happened to everyone in some form and time. Essentially, to me, this man might as well have died, because I can't ever interact with him without emotions coming up. People have to deal with grief, regret, and remorse all the time. I am going to find a book/workbook to read on how to deal with loss and grief.

 

Amazon.com has many such books, and I think if I could just get my brain to work with my heart and my heart to work with my brain, I could feel better and move on. (I'm going to try "The Grief Recovery Handbook : The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death Divorce, and Other Losses" - John W. James.) I too am afraid I'll never find quite such another for my long life ahead of _me_. I hope this helps you, and me.

[Guest]

I have been in a relationship with a married amn for 9 years and we have had separations throughout that period.

The fist time we separated was when he said the situation was unfair and that I should get on with my life. That happened in may and I went to anada for 4 months and returned in December 2002. I was actually getting over him and then in January he phoned me at work to wish me a Happy New Year. I was annoyed and pleased and surprised. He said he wanted to meet up but that he couldn't stay long. So after all those months apart that was the best he could do. I told him I was busy and when he asked if he could phone me at home (to find out if I was living with anyone I suppose, rather than wanting a proper talk with me) I said he could, but that I couldn't guarantee to be in. So yes I was harsh on him, but he never thought about the effect the call would have on me when he quite clearly just wanted to resume the affair.

 

Anyway another few months went by, and I just couldn't get him out of my head and made contact. Since then we have had some periods of separation but he does like to be in control. If I do something that annoys him he will punish me by not calling when he says he will which drives me nuts!

He is retired and doesn't work but he is only 51 and his wife works and the kids have left home. So what excuse does he have to stay?

 

Last November I got very annoyed with him when he got up abruptly in the afternoon and said he had to go because his 23 year old daughter was coming round to pick up a prescription. I told him he should have mentioned it when we met up in the morning.

I gave him an ultimatum which was stupid because it was said in anger. We didn't communicate until I bumped into him 3 weeks ago. He was pleased to see me. When he came back to my place, everything was as it was before and we were passionate with each other. Then he said that he was having "family difficulties" but he didn't elaborate and I didn't enquire further as I felt he would have expanded if he had wanted to. Then he said he was going away to Italy for 3 weeks (as he does every year) and that he would phone me at home the following week just before he left for holiday.

I have heard nothing from him whatsoever.

 

Do you think he is punishing me for the ultimatum I gave him, or that he is having difficulties with his wife and he is trying to work out his problems which means that he should stay away from me. On the other hand, why would he be having problems at home if I wasn't on the scene anymore. His kids are fine because I asked about them.

 

Can someone try and give me an insight into what is going on with this mm please.

[vane28]

Im in the same shoes you are!! I say you should stick it out with him if your really in love!! I know that I myself could never end the relationship with him,i get little butterflies in my stomach when he is around..

 

I was happily married untill my husband cheated on me and that just destroyed me emotionally, physically and mentally, he is gone now, since I kicked him out of my home so many times, he decided to leave after all , that wasnt my intention, but he did it ... She won!

1 year later I meet a married man and we click automatically, first I started the relationship just to see what is it that men want in other women besides there life, a sort of experiment... well that didnt end to well, I fell in love with him, after six months Ive realized it sucks to be the other woman, I spent hours waiting for him when he never showed up, I would cry myself to sleep knowing that he would never truly be mine, untill I met his beautiful son, a 7 month year old baby, who just stared at me without knowing who or what I was, thats when I decided to end my relationship with him, we still talk for hours over the phone, I consider him one of my bestest friends, I always try to support him and give him tips on how to make his marriage work, since mine didnt work out. I truly love him and it hurts badly when I know he decided to stay with his wife and did everything possible for her not to notice about our relationship, I guess we both learned our lesson, and thank God the wife never found out, maybe she suspected something, but we both ended it, and till this day he tells me, he loves and misses me and maybe in the future we might end up together, and that makes me feel good, I dont want to destroy a marriage, I know what it feels like, I almost commited suicide and became an alcoholic, and I dont think anybody deserves to go through that...I am still sad over him, but not as bad as when I lost my husband, today I am still waiting on the doorbell to ring and hope it is my husband who is coming back and I will open the door and hug him ,kiss and forgive him for his foolishness...

Its been 2 years and he is still not back... maybe I should move on...

[miaivy2004]

I don't understand how you can pass judgements on someone until you have walked in their shoes. I have been with a married man for almost seven years. I was seventeen when I met him and he was much older than me He was my very first love. He has always been good to me, always has taking care of me and never was afraid to publicly display me and he loves me. In the beginning he told me he would never divorce his wife becuase he had raised their kids and financially she would take everything. I was very young and had no idea what I was getting into. The heartach alone overwhelms me somedays, but I stay with him because he is all I know and I love him. I sometimes want to leave becuase I have wasted so much of my young years on someone who does not want to be with me. It's painful situation and if I could talk anyone out of doing it. I would I am glad that I have learned my lesson at young age if I had it do all over again I probaly would have stopped it before it got this far but I am knee deep in it and don't see a way out.

[Guest]

I am a mess and I'm making a mess of my life. I have fallen in love with an older married man. I am married with several children and he is retired. It started as a friendship. We have our ups and downs, but I see past everything to a man that I adore. He will not see me because he is afraid it will become physical which would be bad for both of us given that we are both married. We have technically known each other for 25 years but have only seen each other once in the last year. Our relationship has been e-mail and cell phones. I find that I strongly desire a physical bond with this man. I'm not overtly sexually attracted to him ( although he says he is to me ), but the mental connection is amazing. I am consumed by thoughts of how sensual and surreal it would be to be physical with him.

He is afraid he could not control himself in my presence. I don't want him to. How do I get this man to see me? I need to know if what I am feeling is real.

Dazed and Confused

[Guest]

Almost everyone cheats... its life. The questions I must ask is: Do you love him, does he love you... and will he leave her? If you can life with the fact that he probably wont... most cheats don't, its to easy to stay. Just guard your heart... if you think he's worth it, or if you are doing it for fun. Keep it up. IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO WATCH OUT FOR SOME ONE ELSE'S MAN! If you are single.. then you are doing NOTHING wrong. Have fun and live life.. you're only here once.

[BESTFRIENDS]

hello everyone, i just read so many different postings and I am really confused about what to do, so here we go, I am in love with a married man.but it didnt start that way. when i met him he's just got engaged,however he was never thrilled about it,he did it because it was the thing left to do.anyway,we met and right away we hit it off. we became BEST friends....for real.we hanged out everyday almost 24/7.at the time,i was single,i had broken up with my boyfriend and he would give me advice on how to cope with dating.After four months of knowing him, I got back with my boyfriend but still hanged out with Best friend.anyway, after hanging out and confiding and teasing/flirting with each other for over a year, we started fooling around.he would questioned whether he should get married, but at the time we both thought it couldnt be avoided. As time went on,we developed feelings for each other,he started to realized that his fiance and him were totally diff people with very litttle in common.Over the time that they had been together he never really confided in her, he told me stuff and did stuff with me that anyother couple that was getting married would do with each other....he was himself with me....and with her like he said, he had to put on an act.We are very similar in character,goals,interests etc.Even the persons that we were dating, my boyfriend and his fiance were so similar that at times it was unbelievable.We told each other we loved each other. His mom even saw the fact that his heart wasnt in the wedding and the day before she asked him whether he wanted....he felt trapped. At this point we had already 2 years of knowing and being with each other everyday.The day of the wedding, i was heartbroken and so was he.He didnt look happy and during the reception he would come to talk to me and be around me...the day after his wedding day,he came to see me before leaving to his honeymoon.In his honeymoon,he never became intimate with her because he couldnt do it(believe me...he didnt...I know for sure).Him and his wife,have ever since been having problems and he told her that he didnt love her.It has been already three years and they have been married for 5 months and all these months they both have been unhappy because he doesnt show her affection.At this point, they are talking about divorce. I love him very much, but I am still with my boyfriend because I know that he's a good guy,but I am not IN LOVE with him.We tell each other to get out of the situation but I am afraid that things will change.that i'll get hurt or that he'll resent me.Someone said that after a divorce things get so out whack that a person changes and our relationship might fail.But the fact is,that he has realized that even if I was not in the picture,he knows that he shouldnt be with his wife.....what do I do

[GreenEyedLady]

BF: you should start your own thread with this story. I think more people would respond to it.

[Guest]

I will try to make this long story short... Left husband, same night went out with friend and her husband - Had WAY too much to drink - Spent the night at their house - Had sex with friends husband - Next day spent the day and night with him, (she was out of town) had more sex- Over the course of a 1 1/2 months we have had sex 8 times and made out lot's of other times. I know, how stupid of me, what a whore, but hey I am emotinally attached to him and was before we ever got together.

 

We feel way to guilty and have called it off, well we did call it off and the next day we had sex, just one last time is what we said!!! My question is have any of you been invloved with a friends husband been able to call it off and remain friends? I was really good friends with him before all of this happened, probably better friends with him than her. He seems to think we can keep the friendship, I want to keep the friendship and end the relationship. Problem is I'm not sure if I am sincere in saying that. So confused!!!

 

No haters please, I know it's wrong just need advice from a been there done that person