Would you destroy another person's life?

[Kasan]

If you get hit by a drunken driver and end up paralyzed, is it your fault because you didn't look both ways before crossing the street?

 

But this is a different circumstance entirely isn't it? The fact is you didn't get run over by a drunken driver.

 

Where did you get the idea that life was fair and that people played by the rules? From what I read, she stomped on your heart...is it right, or fair? Probably not, but to screw over someone you "loved" just seems plain wrong.

 

Would you truly gain that much satisfaction to cause so much destruction?

 

I live by a code or ethics myself, and if I was seriously contemplating doing something like this, I would wonder what the h*ll I was thinking getting involved with her in the first place. You spent nine years with her right?

 

Who appointed you the avenging police? Have you never done anything morally wrong? I think what you are planning on doing crosses some lines myself.

 

But you will do what you want and I wish you the best.

[KittenMoon]

Darkzen-

 

By posting here you have, in effect, asked for justification for what you are going to do. You may not accept it, but you want to hear some of us say "go for it- do it!"

 

So, in a word: Why?

 

Either do it without remorse, accepting the results of it, or don't do it. Sh*t or get off the pot, as they say.

 

You don't need anyone to say "it's ok"- and there is certainly no gain in trying to convince people what you're doing is ok, unless you can't accept that fact for yourself.

[reboot]

KittenMoon is right, and you said you were going to do it no matter what anyone here says, so....

 

Go for it - do it!

 

There, feel better?

[VIP]

If you hate her that much, that means that you still love her. If you didn't love her, you would feel indifferent. You need to separate yourself from her mentally and emotionally. The important thing is that YOU have done nothing wrong.

 

She is guilty and she knows it, and this guilt will remain with her consciously or subconsciously throughout her life, that's a punishment in itself. And she will see the consequences of her actions in this lifetime, you will see it too. Just pay attention to what happens to her in her next relationship. Though I think by that time you will not care one way or another.

[Mustang Sally]

Darkzen -

It sounds like you are allowing this person to have an unhealthy amount of influence over you, even still.

 

Think about that.

Really think about it.

Do you want to continue allowing that?

 

I agree with Woggle (who'dve thunk it???) that getting over and getting ON are the best for you in the long run.

 

(Kudos, Woggle! Talkin' the talk!)

[Ssheena]

Personally, I wouldn't do. I think it falls into the category of you can think anything you want but doing everything you want.... I have wanted to do things like you before but I can look myself in the mirror and know that I have acted with integrity.

 

I don't think what you are planning shows very much integrity but you are the one who is going to have to live with yourself.

 

Imagine if you follow through on this and she comes out looking like a rose. Imagine she doesn't get fired and/or her life isn't ruined. Perfectly good reason why it won't. She can just say and be correct, that her psyko x-boyfriend was out to ruin her.

 

Take the high road. She's not worth the time and effort. Sometimes the people who most deserve to get what's coming to them, don't ever. They float through life in a bubble that no one can pierce.

[Darkzen]

I came here to talk and have a discussion about things I'm thinking, not for justification. The act is done. Talking about things helps me contemplate other perspectives, nothing more, nothing less. What gives me the right to fight back, some ask? Maybe because I'm in a position to do so and convicted enough in my beliefs to carry it out. I'm not trying to fight all the world's injustices, just the ones that personally affect me.

 

I would love for the world to be perfect, but I know it's not and one man cannot change it. One man can change the things that affect him though. I have integrity. I live my life doing what is right (even when I don't have to). I see, me fighting back, as right and I'm did it. She made her bed and must now lie in it. For every action/inaction there is a reaction.

 

I'm prepared to live by my actions. I know that I acted justly in the situation, harsh maybe, but justly. There will be no questions or regret. I appreciate the replies, at least the ones, where people aren't trying to break me down with psych 101 bull. Trust me, I'm familiar with it, psychology isn't perfect by any means...

[CaliGuy]

You may not believe in God, but it IS God's job to judge and deliver justice, not yours.

 

Whatever you do in life, you'll have to live with the consequences of playing judge, jury and executioner in someone else's life.

 

Move on with your life, my friend. It's just not worth it.

[Darkzen]

You may not believe in God, but it IS God's job to judge and deliver justice, not yours.

 

Whatever you do in life, you'll have to live with the consequences of playing judge, jury and executioner in someone else's life.

 

Move on with your life, my friend. It's just not worth it.

 

I think that is fallacy. We have courts, that judge and deliver justice. People make those decisions, not God. It's not like they stick to only non-moral issues either.

 

You're right though. I will be judge, jury and executioner for things that affect my life, until someone else wants to step up and take the job. Maybe if I had blind faith in a greater power, it might give me hope that these people will get what they're due. Unfortunately I do not, so if I have the opportunity to deal out justice to the unjust... this doesn't mean that I'll break the law to enforce my brand of ideals.Those that take it too far are usually those of faith in a higher power.

[melodymatters]

So you only appreciuate the replies that validate what you are going to do anyways ? then why bother posting ?

 

I think you sound like a vindictive creep. The relationship didn't work out, it happens, get over it. Maybe you'll belive in karma when after you ruined your ex's life she shows up and shoots you.

[KittenMoon]

I came here to talk and have a discussion about things I'm thinking, not for justification.

 

Then why even talk about it? Why give a rat's patooie?

 

Or are you looking for a pat on the back for being assertive in your actions?

[Kasan]

I

You're right though. I will be judge, jury and executioner for things that affect my life, until someone else wants to step up and take the job. Maybe if I had blind faith in a greater power, it might give me hope that these people will get what they're due. Unfortunately I do not, so if I have the opportunity to deal out justice to the unjust... this doesn't mean that I'll break the law to enforce my brand of ideals.Those that take it too far are usually those of faith in a higher power.

 

I am missing something here, what exactly did she do to you?

[CaliGuy]

I think that is fallacy. We have courts, that judge and deliver justice. People make those decisions, not God. It's not like they stick to only non-moral issues either.

 

Then why do you swear on a bible when you take the stand in a trial? God places people in positions of authority. Always remember that.

 

You're right though. I will be judge, jury and executioner for things that affect my life, until someone else wants to step up and take the job. Maybe if I had blind faith in a greater power, it might give me hope that these people will get what they're due. Unfortunately I do not, so if I have the opportunity to deal out justice to the unjust... this doesn't mean that I'll break the law to enforce my brand of ideals.Those that take it too far are usually those of faith in a higher power.

 

What is unjust? You allowed her to do what she did to you. As much as you want to put complete blame on her, the simple fact is YOU allowed it to happen. I'm sorry, but YOU put the responsibility for your happiness on someone else.

 

As much as you want to judge her, you need to take a step back and judge yourself. You are not innocent here by any means.

 

"Let ye who has no sin cast the first stone..."

[bish]

Well, I've done some thinking and I've realized that my beliefs have been destroyed, to a certain extent. My ex of nine years, has pretty much destroyed my life and I'm in an opportunity to destroy her career, as well as keep all the money that's she's worked for. Leaving her jobless, broke and with a pox on her resume. I believe in an eye for an eye, but it more than that. I want her to feel what I feel. I want her to suffer for her actions, so that she can understand the suffering that I experienced.

 

Shes' the reason the relationship failed, I have not a single doubt in my heart. She admits it too. She crushed my hopes, my dreams and my concept of love. She did so and feels guilty about it, but has no desire to make amends for her actions.

 

Uh oh...better watch that kind of talk. You're gonna have a bunch of people tell you that you couldn't have been innocent. Some people on this forum refuse to believe that one partner actually COULD be the one and only problem.

 

Now I don't know your story, so I can't make that determination.

 

Now I do have to ask....you are prepared to destroy her career and life due to what she has done.

So how exactly did she destroy your life? Did she drain your bank account? Get you fired? Did she get you arrested for something you didn't do? If so, revenge may be justified, even though I wouldn't probably even bother with her.

 

But if its just a case of she broke your heart, cheated, and all that crap...well then destroying her career may be going a little too far.

If the latter is the reason...believe me, I sympathize. I think my ex-wife should pay dearly for her wh0rish ways. But she is getting what she deserves already with no help from me. She is with a guy that isn't putting up with her ways. I simply kicked her out of the house and filed for divorce....this guy has hit her because she cheated on him too.

 

so if she destroyed you financially, socially...then yes..an eye for an eye.

 

If it is just a matter of a broken heart and she was a tramp..then no...let it go.

[Newtotheblogthing]

This entire thread is pretty sad. I don't care how you argue it or what rational you use.. You're being vindictive. I am sure you think she deserves it, maybe she does but at the end of the day you can kid yourself all you want, the satisfaction will be fleeting. You are still stuck with you and your feelings. It doesn't change ANYTHING.

 

I could easily ruin my ex's new relationship. Forward a text he sent me, tell her how we have been together since they began dating.. but I personally just don't see the point. I feel bad enough as it is. I do have some morals believe it or not. I would love to blame him for everything but I had every opportunity to leave... and I didn't.

 

I can't even begin to understand where you are coming from but I hope it works out for you..

[Darkzen]

So you only appreciuate the replies that validate what you are going to do anyways ? then why bother posting ?

 

I think you sound like a vindictive creep. The relationship didn't work out, it happens, get over it. Maybe you'll belive in karma when after you ruined your ex's life she shows up and shoots you.

 

I said I appreciate the replies, except from people that try and use text book psych 101 breakdowns. I'm far more complex of a being than that gives me credit for.

 

Well, if she shoots me for my actions so be it. If she would have done what's right in the first place, she wouldn't have forced my hand. I guess I'm a creep in your eyes, not much I can do to change your mind. You don't know me or the entire situation. I won't stop you making a judgment about who I am, but I will say that you're ignorant because you're forming an opinion on only a small portion of the information. Kind of the why psych 101 breakdowns don't work on a message board, you have to have an understanding of the person's experiences to attempt to break down the tendencies of how their mind works.

[sb129]

I can kinda understand wanting to keep the money- its not different from wanting financial compensation from a divorce, and you were together nine years, in some countries that would give you similar legal status as a married couple, however, in that instance you would be entitled to 50% of eachothers assets, and she could legally make a claim for the money whether it was in your name or not.

 

I disagree with the underhand way you have gone about it though, you could have been honest with her, or offered her a small percentage.

Personally, I don't think I would have done what you did, but money can bring out the ugly side of many people.

 

Ruining her career on the other hand is simply nasty nasty nasty. Why do both? Why not just keep the money if you wanted revenge?

At least her career gave her the opportunity to make more money for the future.

You have gained nothing except the personal satisfaction of knowing you got her fired, and if you enjoy that at all, then I worry that you aren't the nice guy you claim to be.

 

I can't believe that what she did to you warrants such spiteful, vindictive behaviour from you. Did she kill anyone? Did she ruin YOUR career?

 

Do you not worry about how this may impact on any future relationships you may have? How people will judge you for what you have done?

Do you honestly think that any future GFs will approve? Or will you just lie to them?

 

If I was your ex, I would sue you for libel, defamation, and theft- except you have that all wrapped up right- you have ensured she can't afford legal help.

 

Not impressed at all. No "nice" person would do this to someone else.

[sb129]

And if you think your avatar will elicit sympathy and convince us you are really a nice guy, think again.

It looks like a mugshot.

 

The thread from yesterday re: finding people more or less attractive based on their personality comes to mind.....

[Kasan]

Kind of the why psych 101 breakdowns don't work on a message board, you have to have an understanding of the person's experiences to attempt to break down the tendencies of how their mind works.

 

If you truly feel this way, why would you ask our opinions? We are responding to what you are telling us.

 

How do we know how complex you and the issues are? We are responding to what you have posted. That's all!

[Darkzen]

Then why do you swear on a bible when you take the stand in a trial? God places people in positions of authority. Always remember that.

 

 

 

What is unjust? You allowed her to do what she did to you. As much as you want to put complete blame on her, the simple fact is YOU allowed it to happen. I'm sorry, but YOU put the responsibility for your happiness on someone else.

 

As much as you want to judge her, you need to take a step back and judge yourself. You are not innocent here by any means.

 

"Let ye who has no sin cast the first stone..."

 

I've said what I take responsibility for. I messed up in placing my hope in her, although she doesn't have the right to abuse me because of it. I'm not blaming her anything, that she didn't do. I don't blame her for feeling bad that she cheated on me, I do however blame her for cheating on me. I don't blame her for how I felt because she lied and deceived me repeated, I do however blame her for lying and deceiving me repeatedly. Get it yet? My emotional state is my fault, her actions are her fault. If a criminal robs your house, but you left the door open... he's at fault for stealing and you're at fault for being trusting or forgetful.

 

I judge myself every day. I reflect on all my decisions, choices and experiences. This reflection gives me the motivation to uphold my ideals. Just as you reading the bible, makes you righteous. The primary difference is that you read your ideals from a book written by man, I come to my conclusions from understanding my experiences, the experiences of others around me and logical deduction.

[Kasan]

I've said what I take responsibility for. I messed up in placing my hope in her, although she doesn't have the right to abuse me because of it. I'm not blaming her anything, that she didn't do. I don't blame her for feeling bad that she cheated on me, I do however blame her for cheating on me. I don't blame her for how I felt because she lied and deceived me repeated, I do however blame her for lying and deceiving me repeatedly. Get it yet? My emotional state is my fault, her actions are her fault. If a criminal robs your house, but you left the door open... he's at fault for stealing and you're at fault for being trusting or forgetful.

 

I judge myself every day. I reflect on all my decisions, choices and experiences. This reflection gives me the motivation to uphold my ideals. Just as you reading the bible, makes you righteous. The primary difference is that you read your ideals from a book written by man, I come to my conclusions from understanding my experiences, the experiences of others around me and logical deduction.

 

This is obsessive behavior, and I wonder how it is that you don't have a RO slapped on you. Your anger rolls off your posts in waves. I am in shock that there is an expectation that people subscribe to your code of ethics or there will be a heavy price to pay.

 

You accuse people who read the bible as righteous, but in your anger you have made yourself just as righteous in righting a perceived wrong.

 

I am worried for you and your ex...

[melodymatters]

I said I appreciate the replies, except from people that try and use text book psych 101 breakdowns. I'm far more complex of a being than that gives me credit for.

 

Well, if she shoots me for my actions so be it. If she would have done what's right in the first place, she wouldn't have forced my hand. I guess I'm a creep in your eyes, not much I can do to change your mind. You don't know me or the entire situation. I won't stop you making a judgment about who I am, but I will say that you're ignorant because you're forming an opinion on only a small portion of the information. Kind of the why psych 101 breakdowns don't work on a message board, you have to have an understanding of the person's experiences to attempt to break down the tendencies of how their mind works.

 

You are right in that I was working only on the information you had given us thus far.

 

So far, the only thing I am getting here that is truly morally corrupt is cheating. Yeah, thats terrible, never done that myself or had it done to me to my knowledge, but from what I hear, it happens all of the time.

 

People fall out of love and start something new up before they end the old. Again, that is wrong no two ways about it.

 

BUT, to steal joint monies, and THEN try and ruin her livelihood steps over the line, and now makes YOU the worse person.

 

I knew somone like this, very revenge minded, he is now alone and really depressed. His girlfriend left him and he is blackmailing her to pay ALL the bills or he will send nude pics and relevations to everyone in her online address book ( family, friends, bosses, her kids). The fact that i LIVED with this man means I can pretty much understand WHY she left, but now according to you and he, she needs to "PAY" for it.

 

I think it's a sign of a sick soul. "Living well is the best revenge."

[Trialbyfire]

I'm going to play the devil's advocate and in many eyes, I am, which wouldn't surprise me. I'll meet y'all in magma pool #4...

 

If God didn't put him in the position to make a judgement, why is he able to do so? You would think that if God were omnipotent, he would ensure that all his sheep followed the righteous path. Maybe there's limited space in Heaven, so he needs natural filters? If so, better get there sooner rather than later...

 

In judging someone's actions, are you not making a judgement? Were you put into a position by God to judge and take action against your fellow man?

[Darkzen]

And if you think your avatar will elicit sympathy and convince us you are really a nice guy, think again.

It looks like a mugshot.

 

The thread from yesterday re: finding people more or less attractive based on their personality comes to mind.....

 

It's a DMV photo, so it is kind of a mug shot, so to speak. I'm not trying to convince anyone of anything, you assume much about me. I am who I am and that person doesn't attempt to deceive. Even when I called to report her, I wasn't deceptive. I told the investigator my intentions, but the evidence is the evidence, regardless of the motive in which the evidence is presented. They will look into it and if the evidence is substantial, they'll act.

 

She cannot sue me for anything. She did what she did, I merely told on her. Besides I told her what I planned to do, she knew about it. I wasn't underhanded at all. Justified maybe (that's subjective depending on who you ask), harsh for sure.

 

You call it spite, vindictive, nasty, etc... I call it justice. I can make the same argument about the conditions of prisoners in jail, but we as society, call it justice. It's all subjective, but people turn a blind eye on the things that they don't want to see.

 

Lastly, I'll say it once again. I posted because I enjoy discussion. I like to hear other perspectives on things. It gives me things to contemplate. I enjoy exercising the brain in debate. Communication is a statement, an interpretation and if need, a clarification.

[CaliGuy]

I've said what I take responsibility for. I messed up in placing my hope in her, although she doesn't have the right to abuse me because of it.

 

If she is abusing you, it's because you are ALLOWING her to do so.

 

I'm not blaming her anything, that she didn't do. I don't blame her for feeling bad that she cheated on me, I do however blame her for cheating on me.

 

You mean to tell me you had no red flags when you were dating her that said "GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP NOW????" How can you hold her responsible for you ignoring that she was not a good person? If you knew this and I think you did, you can not blame her for the way you feel.

 

Blame her for being a heartless cheat but blame yourself for staying in the relationship IN SPITE of what you knew.

 

I don't blame her for how I felt because she lied and deceived me repeated, I do however blame her for lying and deceiving me repeatedly. Get it yet? My emotional state is my fault, her actions are her fault. If a criminal robs your house, but you left the door open... he's at fault for stealing and you're at fault for being trusting or forgetful.

 

Again, I harken back to the beginning of the relationship. If you knew something was wrong, if you had red flags and ignored them, then you are partly to blame as well.

 

I judge myself every day. I reflect on all my decisions, choices and experiences. This reflection gives me the motivation to uphold my ideals. Just as you reading the bible, makes you righteous.

 

Incorrect. I am NOT EVEN CLOSE to being righteous. There was only one man who was ever righteous in God's eyes on this planet and I am not fit to breathe the same air He did.

 

The primary difference is that you read your ideals from a book written by man,

 

I read God's inspired word.

 

I come to my conclusions from understanding my experiences, the experiences of others around me and logical deduction.

 

It sounds like you are holding her accountable for everything and seek revenge, as if somehow revenge will make things right.

 

Turn the other cheek and walk away. Be a bigger man than her. She will only effect you and your outlook on life as long as YOU allow her to.

 

If you are not in control of your emotions then by default your emotions are in control of you.