whichwayisup Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 I hope you feel better soon. If you feel this threatened, you need to tell your husband, and let him know that you're thinking of calling the Police about it. Hopefully he'll 'hear' that and put a stop to the craziness going on with the OW. I also suggest you dump that instant messenger, and start up a new one, even change from one messenger service to another so she won't be able to find you. Reading and talking to her is only going to mess you up and scare you more. Sadly, it's obvious that your H is still in contact with her and making a fool of you. Gaawwd, your H pisses me off, I wanna smack him and ask him WTF he is doing to you! He makes no sense! What a poop! OOD, stay safe, and please get rid of that messenger. Close it down. Lots of hugs and take care of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author outofdarkness Posted September 17, 2007 Author Share Posted September 17, 2007 I hope you feel better soon. If you feel this threatened, you need to tell your husband, and let him know that you're thinking of calling the Police about it. Hopefully he'll 'hear' that and put a stop to the craziness going on with the OW. I also suggest you dump that instant messenger, and start up a new one, even change from one messenger service to another so she won't be able to find you. Reading and talking to her is only going to mess you up and scare you more. Sadly, it's obvious that your H is still in contact with her and making a fool of you. Gaawwd, your H pisses me off, I wanna smack him and ask him WTF he is doing to you! He makes no sense! What a poop! OOD, stay safe, and please get rid of that messenger. Close it down. Lots of hugs and take care of you. Thanks...Yeah, a few choice words come to mind...Poop head is just one of many...I will speak to my H when I am alittle more clear headed..Thanks for the advice and for caring...ood Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 I just don't think, OOD, that life is supposed to be this hard. Your H seem to specialize in creating situations that affect you in the most basic ways - security, committment, safety, etc. All that drama must be exhausting for everyone involved, especially you, but he doesn't seem to ever want it to entirely go away. Why do you think that is? Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author outofdarkness Posted September 17, 2007 Author Share Posted September 17, 2007 I just don't think, OOD, that life is supposed to be this hard. Your H seem to specialize in creating situations that affect you in the most basic ways - security, committment, safety, etc. All that drama must be exhausting for everyone involved, especially you, but he doesn't seem to ever want it to entirely go away. Why do you think that is? Mr. Lucky IDK!! He seems to work very hard to keep his addiction in check; ie..meetings, therapy, etc., but this one OW is relentless, and I firmly believe that he is afraid of what might come out or what she might do..I believe that this is why she was the only one that he did not cut contact with from D day on...I believe that it's quite possible that she is holding something over his head, and I believe that she has a hair trigger temper and is very unstable. I don't know that he knew this about her until well into the R, and by that time, it was too late... I believe that he wants me, as she stated, to simply disappear..."poof" as she said..I took this as a veiled threat, and I do not understand why he is not more concerned. She said in the Im that of course she was devasated and hurt, that he had "chosen" me over her and left her alone and hurt...What does this say to YOU? Am I still to believe that it was a platonic R and that nothing occured other then by phone and internet? Does this REALLY happen? R there REALLY people that feel enough of a connection through these avenues, that they feell THIS jilted and angry when contact is cut? It is completely over my head..I cannot een comprehend an R like this...R there REALLY people out there who truly believe that they have a deep intense R w/ someone that they've never even met? I don't believe so..For her to feel and express such anger and hatred towards both of us now, tells ME that it was a very intense physical AND emotional attachment...At least on her part. IDK about him...He wants it to just "go away" as she said..Well, it does't work that way.. Why the continued lies and secrecy and why, after everything that we've been through to try to rebuild the trust and our M, would he continue to comm. w/ this OW..WHY is he afraid of her?? What is she holding over his head...AND r there REALLY people out there who have such anger and hatred??? I know there are, but I NEVER thought that I would be confronted with one...As I said, I am scared and feel threatened, and I am quite annoyed at my H for not warning me about her instability...Apparently, he spent quite a bit of time convincing HER that I was unstable and as she said; "pshcho"...It's so frustrating and comfusing...I'm not used to dealing w/ people that act in this manner...I can't comprehend that someone could be so angry and hateful about someone that they've never even met...Unless she IS someone that I know and I am just not picking up on it..See what I mean about confusing??? Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted September 17, 2007 Share Posted September 17, 2007 Why the continued lies and secrecy and why, after everything that we've been through to try to rebuild the trust and our M, would he continue to comm. w/ this OW..WHY is he afraid of her?? What is she holding over his head ? Some people intentionally create drama and chaos in their lives - your H seems to be like that. I don't think you should be looking for the answers to the the questions you've posted here - instead, you should be wondering why you're even asking them ? One core value in a good marriage is that you look out for and protect each other and, at least to an outsider, you don't seem to have much of that coming your way... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
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