Should I or Should I not

[Guest]

Dude! Absolutely go for it! It doesn't get much more forward than saying "I love you"!

 

I've been best friends with an amazing girl for years and years now, and I suppose I've always had a bit of a crush on her, although it wasn't anything really serious, kind of a detatched attraction. . I was always terrified to try to "move forward" if you will, because of the obvious rejection-alienation issues I'd have to go through with my closest friend & confidant if things went south. (no pun intended)

 

However quite recently (by a string of events that would require an entirely new thread to explain) we ended up letting eachother know that we really did like one another.

 

It was the most terrifying moment of my life, and thusfar, the best.

 

Belive me, if you take the easy route out, and let her move down south with this j3rk0ff boyfriend you've described, you are going to feel bad about it for a very, very, very long time. She already said she "loves" you, not him. There's no fear of attractive rejection (as opposed to relationship rejection, which is a whole other bag of kittens). Half your work is done.

 

Call her, and tell her you love her. It should be the first thing out of your mouth after "Hi is this _______? (failing to do so could result in terrible mistakes with other people ) Let her know you care for pete's sake! The poor girl is probably confused out of her mind if you didn't say anything to her that night outside of the car.

 

JUST DO IT!!!

 

-A rather engaged Guest.

[KindBlindConflicted]

You didn't get it done the last time you saw her...last post was a poem...I think the date is past for her to leave...what is the verdict? Did you miss your chance...do tell...

[matwithonet]

I don't think I have missed my chance. I sent her this huge message on myspace, but without a computer she just sent me a little comment saying that she misses me and loves me, and she sent me that after she read the message.

 

I was just going to tell you what was in the message, but I might as well link it.

 

I was going to tell you this on Monday but you left a little earlier than I expected. I've been thinking about if you would hate me for telling you this, but hopefully you won't because I'm just trying to tell you the truth, and I told you I would never lie to you. Oh and at the end of the comment that she left after reading the above message it said "Love you"

 

First off please don't hate me for telling you this, but over the past couple months feelings have risen and I just haven't told you because you have a boyfriend and all. Now these feelings aren't totally new to me because over the past 8 years I have learned that you are an amazing person and I really love being around you. But i want you to know if everything doesn't work out in Nevada, I would like the chance to show you happiness. I know this might be unexpected, but Jamie I really think that I could make you happy. And I promise you that as soon as I get out of college, I will take you away from this place, if that's what you want. And if you decided to come back or stay here, I would give you a place to live so that you can call this place home. I know I'm not the most attractive person in the world, but I'm working on that and in a year I'm going to look dead sexy. But please if you become unhappy, I would very much like to have the chance to show you how great life can be. It's almost like me and Dianna breaking up is like fate or something, because it helped me realize before it was too late how special you are to me.

 

So she said she would call me as soon as she gets a chance. And also some good news. I finally broke down and told her best friend, and when i did I asked her best friend if she thought she would get mad, and her best friend said "No she wont get mad ... I promise!!". Just like that on AIM. So I don't have a final verdict yet, but as soon as she calls or messages me, I will post to you all.

[KindBlindConflicted]

...you should have been bending the ear of her best friend from the beginning!!! Especially with females, best friends are the best source of information.

[matwithonet]

Yeah, I was just scared to talk to her, then have her tell the girl I'm talking to. But she really sees her coming back and trying out a relationship with me she said.

[matwithonet]

I'm so shaky right now because it's been since the 4th since she has read my message and I've not heard anything besides that comment. I don't know what to think. Hopefully she is just thinking about it.

[matwithonet]

F'ing A. I hate this. I'm so scared that she might hate me now. Still haven't heard from her and my friends from UoI said they talked to her on Monday night, and I haven't heard from her since Saturday. It's just fustrating. If anyone has any suggestions on what might be going on, I would love to hear it, even if it's you thinking she might hate me.

[blue16]

F'ing A. I hate this. I'm so scared that she might hate me now. Still haven't heard from her and my friends from UoI said they talked to her on Monday night, and I haven't heard from her since Saturday. It's just fustrating. If anyone has any suggestions on what might be going on, I would love to hear it, even if it's you thinking she might hate me.

 

I don't think she hates you but she probably doesn't feel the same way that's why she isn't responding back.

[matwithonet]

She called and left a voicemail today saying that her phone has been all on the fritz and that she would try back later. So I guess she doesn't hate me.

[Guest]

hey..

 

so.. i went through the same thing with a friend of mine. we know each other for 6 years, i think. then last year, he just told me that. said that he was in love with me for some time and all that. i was kinda shocked about it, because we are really good friends. the thing is, i dont feel the same about him and i told him that. he was cool about it and our friendship didnt change. then one day, we got too drunk and hooked up. it just happened once, we got a little weird after that for like a week and now we are friends just like before.

 

so, i dont think she is mad at you ar anything. she is getting used to it or maybe she doesnt feel the same, but she wont get mad or hate you because of that.

[Athlette]

What's the latest??

[matwithonet]

Well, on the 9th I talked to her for about 10 minutes and her phone went out of service. And since then she hasn't called back. And her friend is being very annoying about all this and won't come out and tell me. She is having fun watching me sweat this all out. She said "All I can say is, Jamie is the type of person that would come out and tell you if she didn't have the same feelings." So with that statement I think it means that she is thinking things out because I'll admit, leaving your boyfriend is kind of a big deal, so I'm trying not to be impatient.

 

I did write her this and left it on her myspace messages:

 

He looks upon her dazed,

And wonders what could be,

Her eyes deliver a message,

I‘m not happy who I‘m with.

 

He starts to think “I cannot wait,

I must go ask her for a date,”

But time has passed; it‘s been too long,

A memory from a past that’s gone,

 

Her beauty made him stumble,

It still haunts him to this day,

He wished he had it in him,

He wished there was a way,

 

But this is all the past,

Sometimes it seems like life’s too fast,

And pain is always here to stay,

He cannot change what happened that day,

 

Her eyes were cold and broken,

They showed a hint of green,

And when you looked into them,

A painful past of tears was seen,

 

But on the outside she could glow,

The pain she felt you’d never know,

Unless you paid attention;

Just then, and only then you’d see,

Her painful intervention.

 

And as she passed him he started to think,

“I must go tell her what I feel,”

But it was too late, and she was gone,

Her car arrived, he waited too long,

 

A beautiful woman,

Who was treated so bad,

Who had nothing to give but what she had,

A beautiful smile that would never depart,

And eyes of sadness that screamed out to your heart.

 

So who knows? Hopefully I will hear from her soon.

[matwithonet]

#&*#&*(#&(*( She called and for some reason I was really scared to answer. SO I DIDNT. WTF is wrong with me. I wish my testicles would drop. And yes, I know I need to call her. I guess I was hoping she would send me a message back on myspace, instead of calling.

[matwithonet]

Well i've talked to her a couple times now, but everytime her bf is around and we can't talk about stuff. Then I found out my brother sent her a message telling her that I think about her all the time and talk about how much I miss her. I know she read it last night but haven't talked to her since.

[matwithonet]

Oh noes. I sent drunken messages to her the other night on myspace stating, "You amazing and beautiful and you deserve to be treated like a princess. And that I'm over my ex and that I really really like you now."

 

The reply.....

 

 

I love you Mat.

[MexicanBillBacker]

Same thing happened to me

 

The answer is you gotta distance yourself from her. Make her feel like she's not the only one in your life. Meet other girls, go out

 

Don't be needy

 

Distance yourself from her but not to the point where she gets pissed. She'll come running to you

 

If you tell her then its game over and you'll be miserable until you find someone else.

[MexicanBillBacker]

Oh noes. I sent drunken messages to her the other night on myspace stating, "You amazing and beautiful and you deserve to be treated like a princess. And that I'm over my ex and that I really really like you now."

 

The reply.....

 

 

I love you Mat.

 

 

Oh noooooooooess

 

Do what I tell you before its too late

 

Same thing happened to me. Fell for my best friend she found out stopped talking to me. It took a week of drinking and partying to get over her

[matwithonet]

She's known about my feelings for almost a month now and she still calls me almost every other day.

[Poboy]

she has a bf , how you expect her to come out openely and tell you whats up in her mind. she might be confused about this whole thing. give her the space and let her make her mind who she likes , wants to be with .

just stay friends with her for now ( i know its tough but you got to ) and if she never talks about it , you can be sure she doesnt feel the same way. if she does, she will let you know eventually ... when that is , is anyone's guess. if you think you cant just be like this and cant just stay friends , do as MexicanBillBacker said.

[matwithonet]

Poboy, I completely agree and that's what I am doing. I've sent her a couple of my writings since but that's about it. I'm not going to force talking about it on the phone unless she wants to talk about it. I'm going to let her make the decision, because it is a HUGE decision. But somewhere inside of me, I just have this feeling everything will turn out great.

[reboot]

Life is way too short for playing games. Stop writing her (especially while drunk), stop depending on other people to tell her how you feel, and TELL her yourself. Man up.

 

You say you don't want to lose your best friend? Sorry, that's inevitable. At some point she'll be in a relationship that will preclude her being "best friends" with another man. In other words, you have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

[matwithonet]

No No reboot, I did send her a message with how I felt. I was a huge message telling her everything. I have done that. But now I'm just playing the waiting game I guess, because I don't want to pressure her into making a decision.

[ftheunion]

YES. I think you should. I told this girl I liked her before I moved away forever, and I'm glad I did, even though she had no interest. I wanted to leave CA, and I don't care if I never go back. My only gf (from jr. high) is still there around where my family is, but I never had many friends, and I didn't know any girls. I was just another guy with a shattered heart, prolly just float along in a pointless existence. So I had no reason to stay. I don't care if it is sunny everyday on the SoCal beaches, I don't wanna ever live there agian.

 

Just ask her "Do you mind if I tell you something? then tell her that what you told us. Peferably in person.

 

This is a tough situation. Don't ask her to stay. Just tell her how you feel about her, and how she means a lot. You deserve her more than that guy. But you can't control the universe, neither can I. I've never been to the South, but if thats where she's going, then thats good. Thats why they call it Missoura, cause guys with their hearts ripped out are there. If she leaves, you should move to another state when u can. You don't have to stay in a place that will remind you of all that history and hurt.

 

If you don't have a reason to stay (her) then you might as well leave. But don't follow her. It will be life of pain if you stay in touch with her. Not sayin you have to forget about her or not talk to her. I wouldn't push for a kiss or anything, not even a hug. If she wants a last affectionate whatever she'll do it. But you don't have to press her for anything. If you mean anything to her, then it will stick in her head after she moves.

 

A good song to listen to "Can't you see" by The Marshall Tucker band.

 

Sorry this is happening, but YOU SHOULD tell her, and not hold it in. She might forget about you anyway, so you have absolutely nothing to lose, because you are losing her probably, and she is everything pretty much huh.

[matwithonet]

I did tell her about my feelings and I also told her that I want her to see if things will work out between her and her bf first. I really want her to think about this decision because it's a big one.

[Yosef]

I really do have to say, this experience of yours is very exhilerating. It's so romantic and suspenseful, like a good novel. Please dont take this the wrong way.

 

I think you're wise to let her make the decision carefully.

 

I wish you the best of... everything. You're definitely the kind of man who deserves a her, and I believe, and it's probably evident, that she agrees.