milvushina Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Touche, you original list almost sounds like it could be summed up by saying you need to be easy to get along with to be marriage material! Which is most definitely true I think.. I would add that you need that you should be a person who can embrace change. Do you know what I mean that some people are just more static than others? Can't stand new technologies, new ideas, or changing behavior that has you stuck in an emotional rut. I think that what makes some people good at adapting to changes in life is a sense of adventure, learning to benefit from challenges, and most of all intellectual curiosity. I think you need those things in order to be with someone for life, otherwise you will grow apart or one will outgrow the other. Link to post Share on other sites
milvushina Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 Plus.. yep I am marriage material, I love being married, and I never wish I was still single. One of my favorite things about my husband is that he says "thank you" even for household chores that I do regularly. I would do anything for him because he makes me feel so appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 One word of advice to anyone considering themselves marriage material. You have to alternate between the two of you, who's going to pick up the soap off the shower floor. The alternative is to buy soap on a rope. Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 You're winging it? We're ALL winging it in this life, IP. I mean it's true. Hell, I'm no smarter than anyone else. I got a little wiser in my old age and I just plain got lucky. It can happen to anyone. But we need to be open to it first. And I hear you on that simple relationship your grandparents have. I really think sometimes we complicate things unnecessarily. I see this all the time. I had to grow out of the "drama" phase myself. So I know. Yep those pointless complications can be little pistols. I seriously at times need a manual or someone to advise me on being "marriage material." Sure no one is perfect but at times I suck. A lot of times I don't know what to do so like I said I wing it and hope it's the right decision. If not then I'll deal with it. I'll tell you something though, I've found it easier being bad marriage material then good on somethings. At least in my experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touche Posted June 20, 2007 Author Share Posted June 20, 2007 One word of advice to anyone considering themselves marriage material. You have to alternate between the two of you, who's going to pick up the soap off the shower floor. The alternative is to buy soap on a rope. Or better yet..don't bother showering together (see my past thread on this very subject.) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touche Posted June 20, 2007 Author Share Posted June 20, 2007 Yep those pointless complications can be little pistols. I seriously at times need a manual or someone to advise me on being "marriage material." Sure no one is perfect but at times I suck. A lot of times I don't know what to do so like I said I wing it and hope it's the right decision. If not then I'll deal with it. I'll tell you something though, I've found it easier being bad marriage material then good on somethings. At least in my experience. We all "suck" at times Ip. Dont you know that? You think you're different that way? Nope. Hopefully as you get older you will learn and improve. Don't be so hard on yourself, ok? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touche Posted June 20, 2007 Author Share Posted June 20, 2007 Plus.. yep I am marriage material, I love being married, and I never wish I was still single. One of my favorite things about my husband is that he says "thank you" even for household chores that I do regularly. I would do anything for him because he makes me feel so appreciated. I'm so glad you posted milvushina. You really brought to light some of the important elements needed to make someone good marriage material. Your H sounds like a prince among men. Good for him! You're one lucky woman. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted June 20, 2007 Share Posted June 20, 2007 One word of advice to anyone considering themselves marriage material. You have to alternate between the two of you, who's going to pick up the soap off the shower floor. The alternative is to buy soap on a rope. I think I'd compromise like this: you bend down to pick up the soap, and I'll make it worth your while. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touche Posted June 20, 2007 Author Share Posted June 20, 2007 I think I'd compromise like this: you bend down to pick up the soap, and I'll make it worth your while. Stop trying to cheapen my thread you two! And now you made me miss 'agic! Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Or better yet..don't bother showering together (see my past thread on this very subject.) Went back and read it. It was pretty funny. I think I'd compromise like this: you bend down to pick up the soap, and I'll make it worth your while. "Oops, dropped the soap again"... Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 We all "suck" at times Ip. Dont you know that? You think you're different that way? Nope. Hopefully as you get older you will learn and improve. Don't be so hard on yourself, ok? Well I don't know. Shesh...I need a good smack acoss the face sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 "Oops, dropped the soap again"... For best results, wait 10 to 20 minutes before dropping the soap again. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 For best results, wait 10 to 20 minutes before dropping the soap again. What happens if you wait 37 minutes? Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 What happens if you wait 37 minutes? No hot water. Link to post Share on other sites
bish Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Yes, I've always been marriage material. Too bad my wife isn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touche Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 Stop it you too! You're soiling my nice clean thread! And IP consider yourself slapped! (I love slapping people...it's my specialty.) Link to post Share on other sites
Miss_Bee Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 Stop it you too! You're soiling my nice clean thread! And IP consider yourself slapped! (I love slapping people...it's my specialty.) I thought it was clean enough After all, they ARE washing themselves in the intermissions aren't they? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touche Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 Yes, I've always been marriage material. Too bad my wife isn't. Wife? I though you were a woman, bish. Or are you living in one of those states where a woman can legally marry another woman and have a wife? (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 I've spent 36 of my 60 years married and my current marriage appears to work rather well. However, if it ever ended for any reason I think I'd be much better off alone. I can't quite put my finger on why but that's my sense of it. I'm honest, moral, industrious, successful in my chosen occupation, make a good living, am good with money and have the savings, investments and credit scores to show for it, I'm not abusive, rarely really angry, can be loving and attentive, am an attentive listener, an excellent cook and a whole bunch of other "good" stuff but I would never do this again! I'm even housebroken. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touche Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 I thought it was clean enough After all, they ARE washing themselves in the intermissions aren't they? Ok, ok..true. Yes, I mean they're using soap and all but still, can't I have a CLEAN therad? I mean I almost never even start threads at all. Ok, back on topic please. Marriage material. What makes someone marriage material? Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 I think I'm marriage material. I'm a good guy. Kind of like Curmudgeon maybe. I don't know why I've never been married though. I know guys a lot more screwed up than I am who have been married a few times. It seems like light years from where I am. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touche Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 I've spent 36 of my 60 years married and my current marriage appears to work rather well. However, if it ever ended for any reason I think I'd be much better off alone. I can't quite put my finger on why but that's my sense of it. I'm honest, moral, industrious, successful in my chosen occupation, make a good living, am good with money and have the savings, investments and credit scores to show for it, I'm not abusive, rarely really angry, can be loving and attentive, am an attentive listener, an excellent cook and a whole bunch of other "good" stuff but I would never do this again! I'm even housebroken. Very, very interesting. My H and I recently had this discussion. I told him (and meant it) that I'd never get married again if something ever happened to separate us. Wonder why that is, C-Lion? I mean you and I both have good marriages yet we are adamant (sp?) about never doing it again. Why do you think that is? Wouldn't you think we'd want to since we've been lucky the second time around? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Touche Posted June 21, 2007 Author Share Posted June 21, 2007 I think I'm marriage material. I'm a good guy. Kind of like Curmudgeon maybe. I don't know why I've never been married though. I know guys a lot more screwed up than I am who have been married a few times. It seems like light years from where I am. You must pick the right woman, honey. And you must believe in yourself too. (I know that's trite and boring...but what can I say? It's the truth.) Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 I know guys a lot more screwed up than I am who have been married a few times. Have you ever given any thought to the idea that it may because of those few marriages that they are as screwed up as they are ? Link to post Share on other sites
underpants Posted June 21, 2007 Share Posted June 21, 2007 I have thought a bit on this. Ironically the subject came up at work today. People putting age limits on when they would remarry by, or conditions on the next wife. I just stood there, the ancient 37 year old spinster. I say this only because someone said 'well, I won't be 37 and single'. Ouch, I said, what's wrong with that. I plan on waiting until I am 72 to wed, that way it has to last. I guess I use humor to deflect the ouchy on my ego. I don't know if I am marriage material. Honestly, I guess I have taken the fear of growing old alone, never having children of my own and all that jazz to lunch a few years ago. It was a painful lunch, but I am okay with where I am. I try to be the best person I can be. That is all I can do for me or anyone else who should visit my world. I don't really need someone, but of course I still hold onto the hope that a kind fellow might make an honest woman out of me. I guess I have until I am 72 to really feel bad. The thing is I don't date alot. I have relationships far and few between. I also don't get lost in them and unfortunately because of past experiences I tend to be a little guarded at any onset. However, once I am in a relationship I will stick. I don't cheat, I don't lie, I try my best to be laid back and open to my partner's needs, I keep fit. Overall I think I am a great catch. I forgive alot, however I have basic dealbreakers and am learning to see the flags (thanks Touche). It is just really hard to find a good partner/relationship for which both people can compliment each other. There are alot of frogs, and no matter how many times you kiss them, they just stay....frogs. In all my friends, most married, some now divorced, some headed there. I think I would put my stamp of 'Good Marriage' on 4 couples. All their scenrios are different. My objective observation with all of these healthy couples the presence of genuine love, respect (for each other, for themselves, as well as their commitment), and the sincere enjoyment of each other's company (most of the time). In all of these 'final four' couples I would say that I think of each partner individually as a good person, someone I just plain like and respect on their own merits. To see that complimented in another, is a truly beautiful thing. The hope left in some dark crevice of my heart tells me that is worth waiting for, and with (darn hope) a lucky man, worth working towards. Regards, Unders Link to post Share on other sites
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