Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[cant let go]

It is a searing pain... it comes over like a faint, then it tears through everything. Then I recover, I find myself welling up, crying, reaching for us, where are we, what did we do to eachother. It started long ago. It started in Olivebridge. No olive leaf did we offer. What were we doing. Why were we both okay with being miserable about eachother. Pouting and withholding communication, harboring grudges.

 

I don't ever want to do that again. I'm so sorry that we were both so good at that. It is mean. It is a violence upon the spirit. How much of it we did to ourselves and then held up accusingly to the other.

 

Both so hurt inside, so angry, so sad. And as you said earlier, so lonely. I think, so desparate. We wanted it to work desparately, we both wanted to be a couple. We felt warm and comfortable with eachother, you said you didn't allow other women to touch you, but you felt very comfortable letting me. So why, with some one we felt so comfortable with, did we get so warlike, so pouty, so begrudging? Who cares, we did, it's in us to do that to our dearest people. We need to know that, we need to do something about that. We need to make ammends, not to stay together, but to stop, and to acknowledge and own up. If we don't own up, it won't stop.

 

Perhaps there was a way to stay together about all this, but I think we passed the exit. I think we played eachother too hard and there is too much done. In addition, I went and told everybody, so there is no backing down now, or choosing an alternate path. I did it, I did it. I did it. Pulled the plug on the whole light show. Then I wanted back, then I was horrified, shocked. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to wake up and it'd all have been a bad dream. It's not a dream. It's real life. And it hurts like crazy. That searing pain. Eventually we will become bored with it and will be happy and smiley again. A bit broken and diminished, but we'll grow new shoots. Then life will start another show for us. I'm going to watch very carefully what role my character plays in the future. I don't think I want to be in the limelight anymore.

 

It's hard to say it, it's hard to apologize when I feel like I'm the only one apologizing. This was most certainly a dance with two people in it. There were so many other ways to respond to each other, so many other ways weI could have been dealt with. We may not have known about those other choices. I know I didn't, even as I sit here and type I'm saying "no, I had no other choice, how else was I supposed to react". But there were other ways, and I want to learn them, because I do not want this pattern following me any further in this life. I have hepled create a train wreck of a very strong attachment and commitment. I am not asking that you give me a chance to learn th eother ways with you. I am merely wanting to learn them in honor of the disaster that is you and me. We are the remains from a passing tornado. We are a wreck. Why does it hurt so much to face that?

 

Anyhow, I apologize for pouting, silent treatments, holding grudges, collecting reasons to feel hurt by you, get loud and anxious when I felt unheard, invisible, not understood and unloved. All those things I felt, I apologize for making myself feel them. I apologize for using them as a retaliation. I apologize for retaliating. I apologize for not stopping us and asking us to get back to center, to balance. I apologize for drinking so frequently. And if I drank to excess, which I think I did sometimes, I apologize for that. I apologize for letting my manners slip. I apologize for being so emphatic and volatile. I apologize for needing to be taken care of all the time.

 

Oh it goes on. Do you want more? Do you have any to share?

 

It feels like you are angry with me when I spoke to you on the phone. I am so tired of this. We're divorcing, I'm getting out of your life, you will be free of me... why do you have to be angry? Why is it any of my business? Why am I still trying to soothe you? Why can't I just leave you alone and let you be angry? What is this called? I apologize for it, whatever it is called.

 

I apologize for my tendency of letting you past my boundaries and then getting really hurt and angry about it later. I apologize for my pattern of agreeing to things I didn't really want and then freaking out and crying or yelling or judging about it later. I apologize for dragging you into my dramas, I apologize for being a supporting actor in yours.

 

I apologize for telling people about your secret.

 

And then there are things I feel I am owed an apology for. We were bad children, we did things we shouldn't have done, and now we are blaming it on eachother. Can't we just learn? Can't we just sit down and say, there was something not right in that wasn't there? Wow, let's not do that again.

 

I also apologize for trying to rescue you, trying to fix you, trying to heal your wounds. All I did was give you a distraction from the inner work that needed to be done. I apologize for being a distraction. Remember, when I lived with Jay and Katy, I said you were a rescuer and so was I, and that it really isn't a good thing to be or do? Well I went ahead and did it, and played right into you doing it for me. I knew better, I am sorry for that. I apologize for trying to rescue your son. I quit that one soon enough, but still, none of my business.

 

So much time spent, so much gone through. Now we say goodbye. It's a wreck, it is a tragedy. I am so resistant to letting the hooks you have in me go. I want to keep them there no matter how much pain. I know I should not, it's only a pain I am inflicting upon myself. Why? Because it at least feels like you, and I'm attached to you. It's like the body's memory of a limb that has been amputated. It's like that. It's like we've undergone surgery, and we're still in recovery. How long does this go on? When can we take the stitches out. When can we remove the casts? Why couldn't they put us in the same hospital room?

 

Okay, there is your long email that you didn't really want. You only sarcastically asked me to write it to you. YOu think they are dumb and pointless. Well okay then. Wasted words.

 

I am crying while reading this. There is so much emotion here.

[armywife915]

He didn't have a choice. When you've been run over by a bus, it's difficult to chase after the driver...

 

 

TBF you make me laugh! I am having the worst night and u just do it every time lol.

 

 

*ring ring*

 

Hey K. You are the biggest loser I have ever met. Now 27 and still don't have a career. You have a son who probably thinks you're a loser too. Maybe next time you will stay away from your ex's mother. I hope you have a shi**y life because you deserved it for putting a cloud over my relationship with her.

 

F*** off a-hole.

 

*click*

 

 

hey this is fun!

[flosslight]

It is too late since I already left a very angry voicemail but since I had yet to yell at him since the break up - it all good

 

 

What the ****? I simply told you I was not pregnant. It was a legit concern. We did still had sex when together. You only dumped me three weeks ago! I was not telling you I was not pregnant when there was no way it was your baby.

 

Messaging that you were glad that you did not have to go on Maury and say "That is not my baby!" And asking me to send you a similiar message next month.

 

What are you saying? I'm some whore/slut who sleeps with so many men that she cannot keep track of who a nonexistant baby's father would be. Saying that even though you know I'm still getting over you crushing me and I had not had sex with anyone else.

 

Are a creepy psycho? What is wrong with you? Why would I ever contact you next month when we will not even see each other. I do not get if you are just joking,being passive aggressive about me saying I was pregnant, or trying to send me some mix signal that we might sleep with each other in the next month. I would never let you touch me again!

 

The worst part is knowing that I was uber happy. I was not going to have your baby and that was the best feeling ever even if it was only a parnoid fear in mind. I just figured fate loves irony and since we always said we were getting married and having kids soon, we would raise any that were unexpected. The irony that would not be happening could be so very funny.

 

I was happy. I contacted you and you brought me down again. Amusing enough I was actually thinking about being friends with you in the future. Thanks for dumping me. I never saw how you constantly brought me down and made me unhappy you disgusting twerp.

[ilovetotalk]

Hey R...

I just wanted to call and tell you that I think that you re a spineless twit. You are 33 years old and will never change. You have always cheated on your girlfriends or thought there was always better out there. I thought I was different but you put me in my place.

I was truly happy with my life before you came into it, so i didn't have any problem giving. I gave so much of myself and did not expect in return.... until i had no more to give.

You cheated on me once, I forgave you. You started looking around a few months after ... you looked so happy to be in a relationship with me. You cheated on me again. You are a coward. You are never going to change and truly hope you don't because there is nothing i want more then for you to be miserable. I am a great catch and you thought you were God's gift to women. Yes you have a great body and you had many qualities I wanted in a man but the most important one of TRUST AND RESPECT were lacking. I will never forgive you for the way you dragged me down and what is worse is I knew better and never listened to my gut.

You are an *ss. Everybody knows it. Once a cheater always a cheater. Even if you marry this young women you involved yourself with, you will get bored thinking that you might be missing out and be a lonely man for the rest of your life. At least that is my hope.

[Nemo]

Yes you have a great body

What more do you want?? Are you a size queen?

[melusine71]

I hate you so much. I am so not stupid and you ****ing lied to me and SNOWED me for so long. what is wrong with you? How can you just walk away from us? How can you do it to her? You KNOW she understands and you stay far away. And when you do come here you are so resentful and ****ty. LIKE I did something to you!!! Did Mummy fail you somehow?

 

You're still all pissed because I took them and went inconveinently far away. Is that why you decided to have your disposable whore over before you came to see us? She was the first person you wanted to see. Maybe because she doesn't mind listening to you talk about all the other troublesome women in your life. THAT IS DISGUSTING ________!!!! you should be paying her.

 

You come here and ask me to rub your ****ing neck and shoulders like we are still married? I--- words fail me at your ****ing gall. I'm seriously looking into Voodoo. I know you pride yourself on being an oh so intellectual aetheist but we'll just see. There is power in this world that you will never understand. You come here and play big happy family with me, we ****, we drink and you get all teary playing me these sad songs. WHY DO YOU DO IT? Why would you hurt me like this AGAIN?

 

And I have bared my soul to you and so openly trusted you and you ****ing **** all over me AGAIN. I am so ****ing stupid. So what, right now you're in love but not in love with with three different women? The one you really wanted dumped you, didn't she? That is my only consolation in this world. Though I see that you still call her, that you still beg her not to turn her back on your love. You are so disgusting-- today, this week, you could have at least ****ing told me. I mean we are separated. Give me a CHANCE to protect myself. You like doing this to me. you like humilating me. You want to get my ****ing hopes up and the kids..... what did I do to make you hate me so ****ing much? You are dead to me.

 

I've blocked you email, your calls. The kids can call you whenever they want. It is OVER. We have nothing left to say to each other and I never want to hear your filthy disgusting lies again. Go ruin some other womans life, oh and get used to being BROKE mother****er. Your problems are no longer mine, you can't get a new car, wahhhhhhhh. I can't stand to listen to you whine and complain. There were always so many things about you that totally SUCKED, but you know, marriage. Gotta look at all the ugly stressful bits too, oh wait, you DON"T know that, do you?

 

I want you never to darken my door again. you know, I dreaded you coming back to this country. Happy and relaxed when you aren't here, miserable when you are. You're like a cloud crossing the sun. You deserve a nation drenched with rain. You stepped into the sunshine with me you pathetic moody ****er. And you didn't like it?

 

This is a favor. You did me a giant favor. I won't thank you though because I know tha tyou would never wilingly do anything kind for me. When you do it's just some kind of manipulation. God please help me regain my strength. No more. And you don't know that I know.

 

That is so ****ing beautiful. You don't know why. when you mad her cry today, and she came to me and asked me why you didn't love us anymore and why you wouldn't live with us, I told her that you did love her bu t that you were broken. I said, "Darling, your father is a dick unfortunately." She'll learn the true sooner or later anyway because you are so mean to her!!!! God help me I want ****ing vengence. God please help me.

[dfreeman]

Hi ######,

 

I am writing this letter to you because I still love you in my heart and I am very sorry for all the pain the last few months has caused you. Both of us know that we were wrong for each other and neither of us made changes in our ways to make our life together what it could have been.

 

As I told you during our breakup, I am truly sorry for the hurtful things I did and will try to forgive myself for not handling my unhappiness in a more direct and loving manner. I hope you will forgive me in time so we can be friends again and do some of the things that we used to do before our romantic relationship.

 

I have let go of all the anger I had towards you and do not blame you for falling out of love with me. Whether I was driven by our fading love or not, I truly became that unattractive person you described during our split and you have the right to be angry at my sabotaging behavior. I am just as repulsed with that person as you are, but it is only my job to find out what it was in our relationship that brought him on and not allow that guy to come back to my future relationships.

 

During our breakup, I was so afraid of this starting a huge shouting match, that I didn't share all of my feelings about your side of things - now that I have moved out, I feel like I owe myself an attempt to tell you what I was feeling...

 

I feel that you are an angry and unhappy woman. I feel that you were like that when I met you and I failed in my attempts to take that unhappiness away from your life. I freely gave up any sort of social life I had to commit to you and your daughter and never felt fully appreciated for it. No matter what I tried, my level of commitment and devotion was not going to be good enough.

 

If you take even a quick look back, you will see that you had all the control over every aspect of our relationship (granted, I let you because I wanted to see you happy and not ANGRY). I am now slowly seeing that the times when you weren't having fun doing things I wanted to do, you were passively making sure that I suggested those things less down the road.

 

I never got the credit for being a good handyman around the house, or a good 2nd father figure around your daughter. I never even felt appreciated for all the little runs I made to the store or for coffee so you wouldn't have to go out in the cold. My friends never noticed my sense of humor while they were around us together (this one might take time for me to figure out how you actually did it?).

 

So, maybe we split up because we always saw (or even brought out) the worst in each other?

 

As your friend, I just had to say those things and truly hope that you can get help with your life-long problem with anger - I am trying to get help with the problems I had, so I can hardly throw the first stone.

 

Even though you have seen a physical and social change in me from the time of our breakup to the time I moved out, I am still in a lot of pain and going to the gym for 2 hours everyday and hanging out with old friends seems to be the only thing that helps right now. Nothing is being done to spite you, but I can't continue to feel sh1||y for something that has been written on the wall for about 8 months now.

 

Sorry to dump-n-run, but all I have left to say is, have a good life and don't pick a guy you are so unhappy to be with next time.

 

Sincerely, #####

[Haohmaru]

Want to call my ex...but I'm not! I'm posting HERE!!!!

 

I love that damned bunnyface!!! :bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny:

[EYECANDY000]

Hi luv,

 

I miss having you in my arms, I miss being with you, I hope we see each other in the future, and hopefully we could grow together. I will always have a place for you in my heart.

[Crockpot]

Oh my god, I want to call him so badly to see if he got my letter.

 

Why the hell did I send that stupid letter? I think I'm going to throw up.

[Haohmaru]

POSTING HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING!!! POSTING HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING!!! POSTING HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING!!! POSTING HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING!!! POSTING HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING!!! POSTING HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING!!! POSTING HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING!!! POSTING HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING!!! POSTING HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING!!! POSTING HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING!!! POSTING HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING!!! POSTING HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING!!! POSTING HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING!!! POSTING HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING!!! POSTING HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING!!! POSTING HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING!!! POSTING HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING!!! POSTING HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING!!! POSTING HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING!!! POSTING HERE INSTEAD OF CONTACTING!!!

 

 

 

 

Whew! I feel better.

[November Rain]

1. To keep my sanity and end this relationship, I must maintain NO CONTACT!

 

2. No contact includes every single form of contact with him/her.

 

2a. This also includes...DO NOT ask friends/family about him/her and DO NOT let friends/family tell you about him/her.

 

3. I will not e-mail him/her.

 

4. I will not call him/her.

 

5. I will not send him/her letter, cards for any occasion or notes of any kind.

 

6. I will not text message, 2-way, fax or page him/her.

 

7. If he/she calls me, I will hang up immediately, or not answer the phone at all.

 

Just for starters...I keep the list with me and a calendar to mark NC days. We've been separated 4 months tomorrow, were married 12 years together 15 years. It is so hard.......the NC thing.

 

LOVE MANY, TRUST A FEW, BUT LEARN TO PADDLE YOUR OWN CANOE!!!

[cant let go]

it's getting hard again. i miss you so much. i miss your smiles and your laughter. i miss waking you up every morning. i miss coming home with you every night. i miss feeling your arms around me and your lips on my forehead. i miss how sweet you could be. i miss saying i love you. i miss calling you sweetheart, baby, pumpkin, honey. i miss how you would react almost confused if i used your actual name. i miss the way we would get dressed and then look at each other and realize we had put on the same color combinations. And then we would feel like one of us should change so that we don't look like we did it intentionally. i miss finishing each others thoughts or how a look could confirm that we were thinking the same thing. i miss us. i miss us so much. I used to know everything. every thought that you couldn't contain. every moment of your day.

 

so now what are we. are we really friends? is it possible that you don't think of any of these things. that you are so happy now with her that our life together pales in comparison. i know we weren't perfect. but i loved you like you were. to me, you were everything i had waited my life to find. i felt like you were that last missing puzzle piece that just clicked right into place and completed my picture. you just fit.

 

but now you belong to someone else's picture. and now i'm missing more than just that one little piece. the whole puzzle is changing now and i can't even complete the border. i don't wanna let you go. i don't wanna say goodbye. everything logical tells me that i have to. i just can't seem to wrestle my heart from your grip. but you aren't even holding on to it. that's the worst part. you're hands hold someone else now.

 

i will always love you. i don't doubt that for one second.

[cant let go]

2 weeks left and then i'll never see you again. who am i kidding? you don't even care. you won't miss me. it's time for me to hate you. it's the only way. i'm ready to hate you completely. i hate you for what you did to me. i hate you for leaving me and never believing in me. i hate you for choosing her over me. i hate you for thinking i wasn't worth your time. i hate you for leading me to believe that you loved me when you really didn't. i hate you for stringing me along for so long. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you. i hate you for taking me for granted when i loved you completely. i hate you. i hate you. don't contact me. don't even think about me. there i go again kidding myself.

[Belkin]

2 weeks? Lucky you.. I have 5 more months to go living with her and her new bf! Can't wait for June...

[melusine71]

you used to downplay valentines day. Last year, I bought you a steak, some flowers and godivas and you got me, er, a crude card I think. We stil had fun though. I've been really sad today. I thought abtou what you and dorky ho girl might be doing. She's so immature and silly, I'm sure she's into candy hearts and shyt. I wonder if you'll give her the same speil you gave me about how you just "aren't into greeting card holidays" and just slightly insult her for caring.

 

I suspect that you will. What makes other people happy or feel good is only a tool for you. you use t at first and get more and more lax as time passes and then when I loved you, you ran up your true colors at last. You will never truly love anyone, never truly be able to make anyone happy.

 

Hell, you aren't even doing it for you own daughter! She looks like you, she has your temperment, she adores you and you can't even be bothered to send her an Ecard.... how I loathe you. She doesn't even realize anymore. Did you know that? When you disappoint we all just kind of shake our heads... dear ole Dad, he just doesn't get it.

 

I know your myspace whore must be making you feel better though. You don't call me to tell me you are on the verge of killing yourself anymore. that's GOOD, tell her. (Not that you can! I have you blocked mother****er!!) I guess you have someone else to emotionally barf all over now.

 

I'm going to meet someone better than you. Not that that will be some giant stretch but you know, I really did love you. I still think about laughing with you and the sex. But much less so now. You are going to regret this because while you are becoming less, I will be busy elevating myself and becoming more. While you are sinking ever further into mediocrity and trashiness, I'll be taking our kids with me into a better life with YOUR money and somewt they ahere that you will not be able to follow. It is already beginning you fool. Butthey were all right, you just don't have it in you.

 

Ok, well-- Happy Valentine's Day Dear. I can only hope you choke to death on one of those disgusting little candy hearts with the saccahrine sayings that I know that cunt will give you.

[9Lives]

Ok, well-- Happy Valentine's Day Dear. I can only hope you choke to death on one of those disgusting little candy hearts with the saccahrine sayings that I know that cunt will give you.

 

 

:laugh:..this was so good. You are funny as hell!!! Thanks!!

[9Lives]

Hey R...

I just wanted to call and tell you that I think that you re a spineless twit. You are 33 years old and will never change. You have always cheated on your girlfriends or thought there was always better out there. I thought I was different but you put me in my place.

I was truly happy with my life before you came into it, so i didn't have any problem giving. I gave so much of myself and did not expect in return.... until i had no more to give.

You cheated on me once, I forgave you. You started looking around a few months after ... you looked so happy to be in a relationship with me. You cheated on me again. You are a coward. You are never going to change and truly hope you don't because there is nothing i want more then for you to be miserable. I am a great catch and you thought you were God's gift to women. Yes you have a great body and you had many qualities I wanted in a man but the most important one of TRUST AND RESPECT were lacking. I will never forgive you for the way you dragged me down and what is worse is I knew better and never listened to my gut.

You are an *ss. Everybody knows it. Once a cheater always a cheater. Even if you marry this young women you involved yourself with, you will get bored thinking that you might be missing out and be a lonely man for the rest of your life. At least that is my hope.

 

This is great. I fell all your pain cause I know what is like to love and be hurt and disappointed by the one who was suppose to lift you up....I have very mean thoughts right now. I dont want to see is f/cking face!!!!!

[realgone]

hey,

 

how are things working out? everything going as planned? i keep hearing from people that you don't look so good. wearing big sunglasses at night, indoors? never saw that one while we were together. kinda sounds like you're hiding. you know the first time i saw you after it happened i wanted to reach out to you so much, to put my arms around you just to let you know that you're still a part of me. when i saw you the other day i just felt sad for you. you're not wearing any of this well. your indecency and foolish arrogance just look like shame on your face. it's really not attractive, and i don't think i'm the only one who sees it. you've lost some weight. it doesn't look good. you look a bit diseased, but i guess that's to be expected.

 

oh, and your new boyfriend... sorry, it's just hard to say it without it sounding funny. i guess he's not doing so well in the friend department. sounds like nobody wants anything to do with either one of you. but hey, at least you have each other. i don't know what you two deserve - being together in misery for a while or having it end now so you can start dealing with the fact that i'm gone and how idiotic you've behaved and how pathetic you look to everyone around you. but then i guess i don't really care that much anymore. i did. i guess you know that, but i really did. this was the hardest thing i've ever had to do, the most obtuse pain i've ever felt. but hey, don't know if you noticed the other day, but i walk upright, back straight, eyes straight ahead, and when i look in the mirror there's no guilt. i know you can't say the same, and i guess that helps a little. and i know you rationalize all this stuff to yourself, and i know you want people to think you're in control, but don't forget that i know you. don't forget that i was beside you for three years and you can't hide any of that from me. welcome to your greatest regret. i hope when all of this is over and you've figured everything out, you'll find happiness and peace.

[ashieannie]

Posting here instead of contacting the ex what a GREAT idea.

 

J-

 

So Thursday was Valentine's day and guess who I thought of...if you guessed yourself, your right. I guess it isn't any different then any other day since that 27th day of November when we broke up.

 

Almost 3 monthes have passed since then, and we haven't even talked. I'm pretty proud of myself! I still miss you though, there are good days and bad days. I guess this letter is to let you know that I hope you find happiness, and I wish nothing but the best for you. You were an important part of my life. But you promised me things you never gave me. We were so close the first 6 monthes of our relationship and then you closed up. You said the newness wore off, how can that happen after 6 monthes, but I thought we could work it out so I hung on for another 4 mos. There were some very hurtful words said by both of us, and I wish they weren't said. But as my favorite saying, everything happens for a reason. There was a reason God gave you to me, and I don't know that yet, but someday.

 

So again I hope nothing but the best for you, and that god gives you strength in your times of troubles. I will continue praying for you, like I have always done since the day I met you. Thanks again for everything

 

A

[PinkRibbon]

I wonder what you are doing and if you ever think of me? I think about you everyday, when I wake up and when I go to sleep. You are always in my thoughts and in my actions. Do you truly not care about me? You promised to cherish me, take care of me and love me forever. I didn't know forever was such a short time. Please come back. I miss you.

[Peter_pan]

why did you not want me back. I know i acted miserably and you probably had enough and moved on but you know my actions spoke louder than words.

 

I didn't think what you meant when you said "it isn't what you wanted" you meant you wanted your new bf

 

well i hope you dont look back and think our relationship wasnt worth it and that i wasnt good enough for you.

 

i love everything about you. no one has the same smile as you do. how it makes me feel warm and happy inside.

 

i love everything about you that you dont love. you pale white skin, the way it burns in a slight sunshine, your mole below the left breast, your slippy banana feet.

 

i can only hope that you and this new guy dont work and you will miss me. i understand you need to experience life. i just wanted to experience it with you. good bye and never give up hope. i will forgive you for walking.

[spookie]

When I read PostSecret I always think of you.

 

THere was a postcard last night - it said, "I secretly hope you're going to be miserable. But even more secretly, I hope you're going to be happy".

 

That's how I feel today.

 

And I miss you so much.

 

You're just a blob, now, in my memory. I've forgotten your smell, the placement of freckles, exactly how your hair felt, and the outline of your face, in the dark. I don't remember what we talked about, what your hands looked like, or how your breath felt on my neck.

 

But I remember that when I was with you, the most important thing was to stay together. And that the worst thing in the world was to lose you.

 

And that's what happened.

 

The worst thing in the world.

Edited February 18, 2008 by spookie

[imagonnacry]

I know today is her birthday. I REALLY want to do something to f*ck it up. I am sitting here scheming right now. Everything I come up with makes me look more pathetic, and I just can't have that. So I will let it go. But I hat you for this.

 

How dare you abuse me and put me in this financially unstable state and then take off with someone new. How dare you bring your daughter around her when the poor thing was just getting used to me being her mother figure? You are sick.

 

To the girlfriend. Happy Birthday. Lemme guess, flowers, dinner? Maybe even some jewelry. He is the man of your dreams, right? And you've been through alot I amsure. He told you about me, too right? I am older than you. I drink--not as much as he says. He tells you how I threw them out of the house we shared, I'm sure.

 

Did he tell you he NEVER paid a dime in bills at this house? Did he tell you that he had to work two jobs becasue I stopped making his car payments? He kept buying more expensive things, hon...I couldn't keep up with it. Bet he hasn't told you that I have to work 60 hours a week to pay the mortgage we were supposed to "share."

 

I never threw the little girl out. She stayed with me for the first six months, until the Mother in law stepped in. You met her, right? Seems nice. ENABLER. You'll figure that one out. Hopefully he will lose his temper and you will see what he is really like soon, before you are too vested.

 

DO NOT give him any money. He will not pay you back.

 

You are pretty and younger than me, find someone better. I wish I could tell you this in person, but You would not listen as I am only the BITTER EX, I know.

 

Happy birthday, hon. Remember it. The next few are going to suck.

 

The Ex.

[Miyamoto]

All the things you did are finally starting to make sense. The strange pickup locations, the slamming down the phone when I came around, the guys texting you late at night...

 

You were seeing other people, and I can't prove it, but I know it. That's what the feeling was in my gut, that bad feeling. My instincts are never wrong. I'm so glad that I didn't have to see it in my face before I sent you packing. Do that crap with other people.

 

I almost believed that I love you crap, that I'm only looking at you crap, those tears, that innocent smile...but when you have to keep reminding yourself that you're innocent, it means you've got something to hide...

 

Well, I don't care anymore. I'm taking you off that pedestal you had as my first real girlfriend. You were just a girl I had some good times with and I'll be moving on to the next, but with more experience and more smarts this time. I'm going to be upfront and demand the same.

 

It's too bad because I wanted you in my life and I was debating calling you. That's all over now. Not even friends. This whole thing is done-school. I figured it out.

 

Have fun lying to everyone, including yourself. Because you ARE a liar, no matter how much you try to make me feel like one.