Salicious Crumb Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 I wasn't there but in all the times I've been at the dance clubs I've never seen a guy reach around, grab her tits and pretend to **** her. That's not dancing. Thats what I've been trying to tell you! As for the cheating, everyone including me has the capability to cheat. That doesn't mean that we will or have the intentions of doing so. Thats like saying everyone has the capability to be murderers. Not all cheaters who have committed adultery married their SO with the intentions of cheating on them. I would safely assume that the majority never had those intentions. Who the f#ck gives a shi!t what a cheaters "intentions" are? However as you well know that marriages/situations/lives change over the years. And the difference between those who cheat when things change and those who don't are that cheaters are selfish, weak and have no business being married. To say you don't have the capability to cheat is just plain out lying. A SC, IMO will not be the reason why a person cheats. It's not the location but the person. [/quote First of all I have never cheated and never will...if you think you have a weakness...then thats your problem. Secondly...I never mentioned anything about an SC and cheating. Yes that is my picture, if you would like more just ask SHI!T NO!!!!! During my single life I did some things I regret, I believe everyone has been there, and perhaps being mistreated/cheated on in the past have made some of you feel jaded. However my problem is with people not respecting someone they do not know just because of their job. IMO a stripper is no less of a person than you or I. Ok....tell us one thing that is respectable about someone taking their clothes off for money.
AHIWON Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 I don't have a problem with strippers at a stag party. Long as there is no heavy touching or sex. I've never seen a stag with sex and I've been to lots. It's just man celebrating a womans body with lots of cheering and jokes. Good conversation. Good tunes and lots of booze.
Salicious Crumb Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 But if you must know I do have problems with a SO staying in contact with an ex So much for your trust.
Salicious Crumb Posted April 6, 2007 Posted April 6, 2007 Honestly I'm tired of repeating myself and this is getting very old. I don't appreciate you trying to patronize me as well. Well geez....I tell you that she was basically f#cking a guy on the dancefloor...definite thrusting actions...grabbing....and you keep coming back with the same old BS...."its just dancing".....no it wasn't "just" dancing. So what do you expect when I tell you the only thing separating f#cking and dancing is their clothing...and you keep saying its dancing?
rainfall Posted April 7, 2007 Posted April 7, 2007 If you think women don't fantasize about other men even though they are in a committed relationship then news flash.. you are wrong. Us men do it just as much as women. . I NEVER have to fantasize about anyone besides my man. It takes alot more then some random stranger who looks good for me to get all hot. So no not everyone has to fantasize. I also have no fear that a stripper wants to steal my man. I know there is no way she could get him if she tried. He has higher standards then that. However I just feel it is not right for someone I am in a committed relationship with to go out and pay another women money to dry hump him. To me that is cheating. If you do not agree then that is fine. However do not tell me I am wrong to feel this way. He knows how I feel about this and if he ever decides to do this he also knows I will leave him.
Enema Posted April 7, 2007 Posted April 7, 2007 I am surprised this thread is alive. Everyone draws their own line when it comes to what is acceptable behaviour and what isn't. You will never change someone elses' mind on it, so don't bother! It is cheating to some, and it's not cheating to others. Just don't ever date each other and we'll be fine
jmargel Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 I don't visit the boards on weekends so it's been a few days. As your views of SC is of disrespect from your SOs if they go, I look at it as it's disrespectful for a SO to forbid theirs' to go because they don't trust them. If you trust someone it should be unconditional. With that given, a SO should be allowed to goto such a place and if you feel disrespected because they go, IMO that's the wrong attitude. I NEVER have to fantasize about anyone besides my man. It takes alot more then some random stranger who looks good for me to get all hot. So no not everyone has to fantasize. Guess you never saw a good looking guy and think to yourself "Wow, he is gorgeous". I'm sorry but I can't believe that you never even thought of another guy since being with your bf. It's human nature to. So what do you expect when I tell you the only thing separating f#cking and dancing is their clothing...and you keep saying its dancing? You need to be more descriptive with your situation then. Dancing nowadays, grinding is just that.. Dancing. First of all I have never cheated and never will...if you think you have a weakness...then thats your problem Your intentions are that you will never cheat but you cannot guarantee 100% that you won't cheat in the future. No one can say that. If you read most of the cheating stories on here most start off with 'I can't believe I did this, I am not that kind of person to cheat.." etc.. Thats like saying everyone has the capability to be murderers. They do. We as human beings are capable of many, many things. Both good and bad. On the other hand I don't know of anyone who said "I want to be a stripper when I grow up"....... at least not people without some serious issues. Exactly most would still rather be doing other things besides stripping. Yes it's their choice, however I doubt they get much enjoyment doing a lapdance for a guy. It's a job to them, they are not out to steal your man or cause problems in your relationship. If a strip club can cause such problems in a relationship then the relationship had serious flaws way before.
Salicious Crumb Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 You need to be more descriptive with your situation then. I was...I made it perfectly CLEAR that it was simulated sex on the dancefloor. Your intentions are that you will never cheat but you cannot guarantee 100% that you won't cheat in the future. I sure can guarantee it. No one can say that. Then trust is irrelevant if you believe that.
rainfall Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 I don't visit the boards on weekends so it's been a few days. As your views of SC is of disrespect from your SOs if they go, I look at it as it's disrespectful for a SO to forbid theirs' to go because they don't trust them. If you trust someone it should be unconditional. With that given, a SO should be allowed to goto such a place and if you feel disrespected because they go, IMO that's the wrong attitude. Guess you never saw a good looking guy and think to yourself "Wow, he is gorgeous". I'm sorry but I can't believe that you never even thought of another guy since being with your bf. It's human nature to. There is a big difference between thinking someone is attractive and having a sexual fantasu about them. I'm sure I have noticed an attractive guy at some point but I don't go looking for them and I sure don't even care or give them a second thought. I do not have sexual fantasies about random strangers. I trust my man to not screw a stripper or want to date them. I know he would never want a women like that. However I just feel the kind of enviroment there is not something my SO should be in. If he was single then great because then he might not be getting regular sex and him getting lapdances/putting money in some chicks panties would be ok. However there is noway you or anyone esle will ever convince me that I am a bad girlfriend because I don't let my man have other women rub his crotch. And how exactly does not wanting someones partner to go to a strip club mean that the relationship has problems? I think if one partner goes regardless of how the other feels that shows their are problems in the relationship. Just because someone doesn't think their SO should be in strip clubs does not mean the relationship is doomed.
jmargel Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 I was...I made it perfectly CLEAR that it was simulated sex on the dancefloor. I sure can guarantee it. Then trust is irrelevant if you believe that. You cannot guarnatee that sometime in your life that you won't cheat. Everyone has the capability of doing it and given the right circumstances one who would never think of cheating might fall to the temptation. No matter how much you may believe you won't cheat you have the capability of it. Even with trust there are no guarantees. Trust only allows you to have faith or confidence in. There is no absolute with trust. That's what makes 'trust' so special. You are allowing to give alot of yourself to another person without really any guarantees. However I just feel the kind of enviroment there is not something my SO should be in. I trust my man to not screw a stripper or want to date them Which is it? You trust your man but you won't allow him to goto a SC? You contradict yourself. If you trust him then you shouldn't have any problem with letting him go or having concerns about it. To me it's disrespectful for one person to tell another they can't go to certain places. That's treating them like a child, especially if you trust your man like you say you do. However there is noway you or anyone esle will ever convince me that I am a bad girlfriend because I don't let my man have other women rub his crotch. Never said you were a bad person, quote me if I did. Just because you goto a SC doesn't mean you have to get lap dances or have your 'crotch rubbed' as you say. You can easily sit away from the stage and politely decline when a stripper asks if you want a lap dance. And how exactly does not wanting someones partner to go to a strip club mean that the relationship has problems? I think if one partner goes regardless of how the other feels that shows their are problems in the relationship. Just because someone doesn't think their SO should be in strip clubs does not mean the relationship is doomed. I can then say just as easily that I think it's disrespectful to not allow your SO to goto places such as SCs. If you trust and love them then you should be confident within yourself and the relationship that this is not a threat. You should be able to say to your SO 'Hope you have a good time and becareful' and know they won't do anything there to hurt you. What I am also trying to say is that if someone wants to cheat he's not going to goto a strip club and do it. If they were going to cheat on you it would more than likely be somewhere else. To me it's all about trust.
rainfall Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 Which is it? You trust your man but you won't allow him to goto a SC? You contradict yourself. If you trust him then you shouldn't have any problem with letting him go or having concerns about it. To me it's disrespectful for one person to tell another they can't go to certain places. That's treating them like a child, especially if you trust your man like you say you do. . The kind of enviroment of strip clubs is not something I feel my boyfriend should be in. I am in a relationship with him and I think there is no reason he needs to be around live naked women besides me. If he feels he is missing out on some great exciting life because I do not think strip clubs are a place he needs to be then he is free to leave. I think it is disrespectful for one person to exoect to be able to do whatever they want to do in a relationship. What exactly does one get out of going to strip clubs anyway? Seriously please tell me because no matter how hard I try I just can't see anything someone could get out of that experience.
cn283 Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 The kind of enviroment of strip clubs is not something I feel my boyfriend should be in. I am in a relationship with him and I think there is no reason he needs to be around live naked women besides me. If he feels he is missing out on some great exciting life because I do not think strip clubs are a place he needs to be then he is free to leave. I think it is disrespectful for one person to exoect to be able to do whatever they want to do in a relationship. What exactly does one get out of going to strip clubs anyway? Seriously please tell me because no matter how hard I try I just can't see anything someone could get out of that experience. Basically guys are stupid. I don't buy the whole "visual" thing because women are just as visual. They do it because they can, even when they shouldn't. They think its ok for them to abandon all reason when it comes to these things simply because they "are a man".
Salicious Crumb Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 Basically guys are stupid. I don't buy the whole "visual" thing because women are just as visual. They do it because they can, even when they shouldn't. They think its ok for them to abandon all reason when it comes to these things simply because they "are a man". I don't think that way at all.....you calling me stupid?
Carbine Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 It's not the dancer's responsibility to determine whether or not the guy has a gf/wife or not. The trust does not lie with her, but with your bf. No, the whole idea with SC's is that there is no responsibility - Period. This is one of the reasons I detest them so much. In short, these places are Houses of Infidelity, cloaked in years of traditions, cultural norms and stupid laws which make bring them just above board. So you should disrespect her for doing her job? All she gave was a lapdance Jesus christ, give me a break already! You're making out like her role is nothing less than heroic. All she needs now is her halo, right?? I mean, if she was employed in a useful line of work, or at least one that was non-damaging towards me and my relationship, then I'd be able to see your point. But she's a STRIPPER for godsakes! Oh the poor girl, she was just doing her job, how dare Evil Carbine disrespect her????!! Yes jmargel, all she gave was a lapdance and look what happened. And if she got $200 for a lapdance, she must be a pretty good dancer! Obviously. Hey, it was enough to convince my boyfriend to cheat with her wasn't it? BTW, that's $200 AUD or about $165 US. Still expensive, I know. Honestly, I don't know how much guys here usually pay for lapdances, but the $200 one that my bf got was for a 'special occasion' i guess you could call it. He and his friends were on a boys' weekend up on the Gold Coast in Queensland which is basically party central of Australia. They'd gone up too spectate at one of the big V8 Supercar rallies, and there were heaps of people (read: males) out partying. Naturally, strippers go hand-in-hand with the car racing thing and I guess there were some pretty hot dancers hanging round the city like vultures waiting to prey on enebriated, macho morons like my bf. They didn't destroy your own self-worth, you did that yourself. You will continue to pummel yourself into their ground as long as you play the victim. Quit walking with your tail between your legs and start thinking/doing positive things to improve your life. I for one do not feel pity for you or for anyone who continues to play that role. You have not been trying. I will re-post this for you to peruse at your own leisure, jm: I actually went out a few weeks ago and bought some books/dvds on pole dancing/strip moves etc. I was all motivated and excited for awhile about learning. Until I had a conversation with my ex about a week ago which put an end to things. He was out drunk somewhere, being a dickhead with his mates and I was trying to lure him back to my house. In desperation I said "Hey, if you come over i'll even give you a lapdance". And he's like "Mate, if I wanted a lapdance, I'd go to the city". And that was the end of that. :( I don't have a problem with strippers at a stag party. Long as there is no heavy touching or sex. I've never seen a stag with sex and I've been to lots. It's just man celebrating a womans body with lots of cheering and jokes. Good conversation. Good tunes and lots of booze. Celebrating a woman's body???! I think that's a little bit too broad. You're celebrating a certain type of woman's body and you're celebrating it because it looks a certain way - i.e. big tits, no cellulite, tight ass - and because it behaves in a certain way - i.e. dances provokatively in a way that makes you feel sexy and desired. Come to think of it, you're not actually 'celebrating' a woman's body at all - you're rejoicing in your own overblown sense of masculinity and your disgustingness by what you do. To truly 'celebrate' a woman's body you celebrate all of it - not just the 'sexy', superficial things and all the bits that make you feel good - but her less-than-perfect bits, her tears, and her brain which allows her to be capable of the whole range of human emotions.
cn283 Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 I don't think that way at all.....you calling me stupid? lol, I'm not calling you stupid. I guess that was one of generalizations we women make. I guess my point is that some guys tend to make excuses for behavior that they know will hurt their SO. And the excuses usually are "its a guy thing" "guys are more visual"...
Wantingtogetitright Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 Why am I responding to this? Cos I want to know if you are being deliberately obtuse or if not your mindset fascinates me. It's not what you show, its how you show it. To me those things are not just reserved for a lover. We were born naked, to me it's no big deal. What about nudist colonies? I guess you are against those since it violates some sort of rule that your lover is not allowed to see other naked people. What about porn? What about going to the beach and he is secretly hoping to see some hot bodies? I guess all of that would be cheating to you as well. You say it's not what you show it's how you show it. A strip club is ALL about how you show it, deliberately provocative, erotic, sexual etc etc. If it was just simply naked people walking around then it wouldn't be a strip club. It's not about "seeing" naked people, it's the way in which it is done. If for example we were at the tennis and a streaker came out and ran onto the court I wouldn't think twice about it. There wouldn't be a oh my god he's seen a naked woman. In the strip club however he choses to be there and the women are deliberately being sexual in their undress and touching of themselves etc. 2 very very different things. A nudist colony or the beach has nothing to do with sex. It is simply naked or semi clad people walking around. In fact being naked is quite liberating and would not have a problem with going to a nudist colony and do sometimes bathe topless at the beach myself. Yep, you must be my God and tell me that I must have commited some sin or broken one of the ten commandments. lol.. Like I said don't pity me. I love my wife and would never cheat on her. I do forsake all others. However there is nothing in the ten commandments that says I can't look at beautiful, naked women. I have posted nothing that comes close to preaching and have not thrown anything vaguely religious in there. The closest I have come is mentioning the vow we take "forsaking all others". This relates directly to sex, and keep myself only unto thee. To me having my partner attend a venue such as this where the only intention of the women is to strip in the most sexual way is not keeping themselves true. It is NOT and I repeat NOT to do with trust. I don't think him going to the strip club is about him cheating in the sense that he is going to pick up some stripper and shag her. As I said previously if he was going to cheat he has more opportunity anywhere else where there is a bar packed full of single women. A strip club is attended by probably about 90% men with the only other females being staff. That's all fine and dandy while you are in the puppy dog love stage but everyone is curious at one point or another even if they are in a committed relationship. I am not disrespectful because I goto a strip club, nor and I committing some sort of evil sin. I don't love my wife any less, nor do I have a lesser bond with her. In fact the opposite is true. To know my wife trusts me enough in those kind of places strengthens our bond and that my wife doesn't need to keep a leash on me or is insecure about our marriage. She knows that I could find another woman pretty easily and I know she could have no problem finding another man. However we both know how much we would lose if we did cheat. SCs are not a threat to us, nor is dancing with other people. We both know the limits in what is acceptable to us. . As per my above post it is not a question of trust for me, do not mix my posts up and make assumptions based on others on here. Yes some posters here see it as cheating. I guess your boundaries as to what is acceptable and what is not are far more liberal when it comes to sex and intimacy than mine. I am not in the puppy dog stage, far from it, we have been living together now for about a year and half so really know each other warts and all.
jmargel Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 Ugh.. thought we were done with this thread. Guess not. No, the whole idea with SC's is that there is no responsibility - Period. This is one of the reasons I detest them so much. In short, these places are Houses of Infidelity, cloaked in years of traditions, cultural norms and stupid laws which make bring them just above board WRONG! That's a stereotype. I have just as much responsibility to my wife inside a SC as to outside of one. There is no tradition that says 'Its ok to cheat inside a SC. What happens there, stays there'. However some of you are defining lap dances as cheating, IMO it's not. Jesus christ, give me a break already! You're making out like her role is nothing less than heroic. All she needs now is her halo, right?? I mean, if she was employed in a useful line of work, or at least one that was non-damaging towards me and my relationship, then I'd be able to see your point. But she's a STRIPPER for godsakes! Oh the poor girl, she was just doing her job, how dare Evil Carbine disrespect her????!! Yes jmargel, all she gave was a lapdance and look what happened. This dancer didn't damage your relationship, this is something you need to get through your head already. The damage by the attitude of your bf. He would have cheated on you with another chick, not necessarily a stripper. Strippers themselves really don't care about their customers, they see dollar signs. They aren't interested (at least I would say the majority) in ruining your relationships. I am sure they have enough drama in their own lives. You are blaming your failied relationship on a third party. However in all cases the problem stems from the spouse. The dancer has no loyalty to you, nor should you care what the dancer does. What you should care about is what your bf does. He's the one that has an investment into you. Apparently your ex didn't, and IMO it wasn't just because of the stripper he cheated on you with. BTW, that's $200 AUD or about $165 US. Still expensive, I know. When a dancer came upto me for a 30 second lap dance, I would give her $1. That's it. When I got a VIP dance that lasted 3 minutes, it was $15 with a $5 tip. Unless your BF got multiple lap dances, he got alot more for that $200. There are seedy strip clubs, and like I said it's the responsibility of the guy to not cross that line. Honestly I would never give that much money to a stripper. For that amount of money you could easily get laid. Celebrating a woman's body???! I think that's a little bit too broad. You're celebrating a certain type of woman's body and you're celebrating it because it looks a certain way - i.e. big tits, no cellulite, tight ass - and because it behaves in a certain way - i.e. dances provokatively in a way that makes you feel sexy and desired. Come to think of it, you're not actually 'celebrating' a woman's body at all - you're rejoicing in your own overblown sense of masculinity and your disgustingness by what you do. To truly 'celebrate' a woman's body you celebrate all of it - not just the 'sexy', superficial things and all the bits that make you feel good - but her less-than-perfect bits, her tears, and her brain which allows her to be capable of the whole range of human emotions Well thanks for telling me what I feel and think. I really appreciate it since us men are too stupid to even know what we are feeling. I find certain women, body types, etc.. attractive and there is nothing wrong with that. Everyone has their own tastes. There are women that think I'm attractive and there are women that think I look like unattractive. Who cares. By what you are saying maybe I should get to know the strippers better, so I can 'celebrate' all of them. Actually though that is why guys goto strip clubs, to just look at the women and appreciate them for their beauty. They don't want to know more, they don't want to know their drama, their heartaches, their dreams. They have gfs/wives for that. Most men there are just to see beauty and these women get paid for it. To me there is nothing wrong with it. It's not degrading the women, in fact it's enpowering them. If someone wanted to pay me money to dance naked, I'd be more than willing to Easy money.
jmargel Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 You say it's not what you show it's how you show it. A strip club is ALL about how you show it, deliberately provocative, erotic, sexual etc etc. If it was just simply naked people walking around then it wouldn't be a strip club. It's not about "seeing" naked people, it's the way in which it is done. If for example we were at the tennis and a streaker came out and ran onto the court I wouldn't think twice about it. There wouldn't be a oh my god he's seen a naked woman. In the strip club however he choses to be there and the women are deliberately being sexual in their undress and touching of themselves etc. 2 very very different things. A nudist colony or the beach has nothing to do with sex. It is simply naked or semi clad people walking around. In fact being naked is quite liberating and would not have a problem with going to a nudist colony and do sometimes bathe topless at the beach myself. So what if the women at the nudist colony were at the local saturday night dance there? As for you going topless you don't think that doesn't turn men on, or at least get the thoughts in their head? As per my above post it is not a question of trust for me, do not mix my posts up and make assumptions based on others on here. Yes some posters here see it as cheating. I guess your boundaries as to what is acceptable and what is not are far more liberal when it comes to sex and intimacy than mine. I am not in the puppy dog stage, far from it, we have been living together now for about a year and half so really know each other warts and all. I disagree and you will learn in time that yours & his wants and needs change. You will never truly know a person inside and out, no matter how long you have lived with them. A year and a half is nothing. I'm not saying that to be mean but look at all the posts here, how couples are married 5, 10, 20 years and catch their spouse cheating. How one of the spouses just up and leave saying 'they need space'. Variety is the spice of life and done in the proper way it will not harm the relationship.
Salicious Crumb Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 lol, I'm not calling you stupid. I guess that was one of generalizations we women make. I guess my point is that some guys tend to make excuses for behavior that they know will hurt their SO. And the excuses usually are "its a guy thing" "guys are more visual"... As opposed to the woman's excuse...."it just happened". Great...I understand perfectly now...you were at a party...went into the bedroom to use the bathroom...another guy was in there...a gust of wind blew through the window blowing off all your clothes and legs open...he tripped and his dick fell into your crotch.....I feel so much better now...it was an accident....could have happened to anyone.....
Salicious Crumb Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 I disagree and you will learn in time that yours & his wants and needs change. So you NEED to go to a strip club?
Carbine Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 WRONG! That's a stereotype. I have just as much responsibility to my wife inside a SC as to outside of one. There is no tradition that says 'Its ok to cheat inside a SC. What happens there, stays there'. However some of you are defining lap dances as cheating, IMO it's not. I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on this once, since we have totally polar-opposite opinions as to what constitutes cheating. Anyway, from what i've seen, SC's rely upon being stereotyped to keep the business coming in. Also, you may not have experienced the 'tradition' of those places, but I've certainly gotten a whiff of it, through hanging out with my ex's crowd. It would give me the creeps the way they'd regard these places - there was definately an air of secrecy and 'anything goes'. It was almost as though they'd regard these places as some sort of parallel universe that had no bearing on the real world - so long as everyone kept their mouths shut. This dancer didn't damage your relationship, this is something you need to get through your head already. The damage by the attitude of your bf. He would have cheated on you with another chick, not necessarily a stripper. Strippers themselves really don't care about their customers, they see dollar signs. They aren't interested (at least I would say the majority) in ruining your relationships. I am sure they have enough drama in their own lives. You are blaming your failied relationship on a third party. However in all cases the problem stems from the spouse. The dancer has no loyalty to you, nor should you care what the dancer does. I know the whore didn't purposfully set out to damage my relationship but she still managed to get involved. I doubt my ex would have cheated on me outside of the club, he's just not the type. But believe what you will. Simply, temptation was put in his way and he couldn't resist. What made it 'ok' was because it was at a SC. I just don't see why you're so quick to jump up and defend the whore. So she wasn't interested in my bf? Fine, so what you're saying is that her perception of him as nothing but a cash cow negates her responsibility in the whole thing? What you should care about is what your bf does. He's the one that has an investment into you. Apparently your ex didn't, and IMO it wasn't just because of the stripper he cheated on you with. Really, then what was it? When a dancer came upto me for a 30 second lap dance, I would give her $1. That's it. When I got a VIP dance that lasted 3 minutes, it was $15 with a $5 tip. Unless your BF got multiple lap dances, he got alot more for that $200. There are seedy strip clubs, and like I said it's the responsibility of the guy to not cross that line. Honestly I would never give that much money to a stripper. For that amount of money you could easily get laid. *shrug* i don't really remember the sordid details, but I'll be sure to ask him exactly what happened. Actually, I just sms'd him then about it and he texted back a (drunken) 'Hugh?" (huh?) and then wouldnt answer his phone. Which makes me think you're on to something jm. Either that or he's passed out drunk somewhere again which is more likely since it is friday night. *Sigh* Not that it matters anymore, since we're not together but i'd still love to know the whole truth. Well thanks for telling me what I feel and think. I really appreciate it since us men are too stupid to even know what we are feeling. I find certain women, body types, etc.. attractive and there is nothing wrong with that. Everyone has their own tastes. There are women that think I'm attractive and there are women that think I look like unattractive. Who cares. By what you are saying maybe I should get to know the strippers better, so I can 'celebrate' all of them. Actually though that is why guys goto strip clubs, to just look at the women and appreciate them for their beauty. They don't want to know more, they don't want to know their drama, their heartaches, their dreams. They have gfs/wives for that. Most men there are just to see beauty and these women get paid for it. To me there is nothing wrong with it. It's not degrading the women, in fact it's enpowering them. If someone wanted to pay me money to dance naked, I'd be more than willing to Easy money. I never said you were stupid, nor was I actually replying to your post in the first place. My reply had nothing to do with your alleged stupidity or lack of feelings or whatever you think i was referring to. I was simply pointing out to Ahiwon that his explanation for visiting SC's was a little bit rich IMHO.
jmargel Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 So you NEED to go to a strip club? I'm talking abou wants & needs in general. If you would have read way back, I mentioned before I don't 'need' to goto SCs. I like to go every now and then.
jmargel Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on this once, since we have totally polar-opposite opinions as to what constitutes cheating. Anyway, from what i've seen, SC's rely upon being stereotyped to keep the business coming in. Also, you may not have experienced the 'tradition' of those places, but I've certainly gotten a whiff of it, through hanging out with my ex's crowd. It would give me the creeps the way they'd regard these places - there was definately an air of secrecy and 'anything goes'. It was almost as though they'd regard these places as some sort of parallel universe that had no bearing on the real world - so long as everyone kept their mouths shut. IMO that just comes from you being paranoid. I know the whore didn't purposfully set out to damage my relationship but she still managed to get involved. I doubt my ex would have cheated on me outside of the club, he's just not the type. But believe what you will. Simply, temptation was put in his way and he couldn't resist. What made it 'ok' was because it was at a SC. I just don't see why you're so quick to jump up and defend the whore. So she wasn't interested in my bf? Fine, so what you're saying is that her perception of him as nothing but a cash cow negates her responsibility in the whole thing? Did she know he was attached? No. Was it her responsibility go keep him on the straight and narrow because he had a gf? No. Was your BF going to cheat on you anyways if he never even met this girl? Yes. She wasn't the one & only temptation in the world that made him cheat. Alot of girls out there are very tempting. Good chance he's either cheated on you before or would in the future. Her perception of him was probably based on alot of lies from him. She has no responsibility in this. Your BF has it all. It takes two to tango and your ex was prepared way in advanced wearing his dance shoes. Really, then what was it? Immaturity Disrespect Selfishness Most cheaters at the time of doing it think they have the right to find what they are missing in the relationship while still with that person. The number one issue with your bf would probably be his attitude. However I don't know how your whole relationship went about. You could have been a total b*tch to him the whole time. Not saying you were, but there are three sides to every story. Hers, his and the truth. *shrug* i don't really remember the sordid details, but I'll be sure to ask him exactly what happened. Actually, I just sms'd him then about it and he texted back a (drunken) 'Hugh?" (huh?) and then wouldnt answer his phone. Which makes me think you're on to something jm. Either that or he's passed out drunk somewhere again which is more likely since it is friday night. *Sigh* Not that it matters anymore, since we're not together but i'd still love to know the whole truth. Like I said it's his attitude and immaturity that has caused all of this, not the strip club. In fact this 'strip club' did you a huge favor. It made you see what he was really made of. Not because he went but it just brought about the cheating much faster. I would rather find out that my spouse is going to cheat as early as possible in the relationship so that I don't waste my time on her. Sounds like your ex hasn't changed his ways, however this was not brought upon him going to a SC. This has to do with a personality flaw of his. A very fundamental one at that.
Salicious Crumb Posted April 13, 2007 Posted April 13, 2007 I'm talking abou wants & needs in general. If you would have read way back, I mentioned before I don't 'need' to goto SCs. I like to go every now and then. And why do you LIKE to go to SCs? Why couldn't you just go to the local bar and watch a ballgame...or hit the casino with some friends. Why SCs?
cn283 Posted April 22, 2007 Posted April 22, 2007 As opposed to the woman's excuse...."it just happened". Great...I understand perfectly now...you were at a party...went into the bedroom to use the bathroom...another guy was in there...a gust of wind blew through the window blowing off all your clothes and legs open...he tripped and his dick fell into your crotch.....I feel so much better now...it was an accident....could have happened to anyone..... Where did that come from? I wasn't talking about that but if you want me to address it... Most women say that because they are to stupid/immature to tell the truth, thinking that innocent "dumbgirl" act is cute because it always works in the romantic movies they watch. True, women are just as bad as men, people should just tell themselves and their SO's the truth, is it so freaking hard?
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