I'm terrified of meeting this guy from OKC

Ugh.

I made a huge mistake and slept with him, and since he's ignored me. I thought I could have sex early on and be fine, but I was wrong. He was so sweet and tender with me in bed after, and wanted to hold me the whole night...and I believed it. I feel predictably used and awful.

I think I'm through with online dating.

Here's what happened. He was more nerdy and awkward then I remembered, almost a bit Aspergers-y, like emotionally detached. I had a bit to drink before the date, so things went pretty smoothly for the first half. After the movie, my buzz faded, and I felt extremely nervous and shy as we strolled around town (his suggestion). I was afraid he wasn't going to invite me back to his place like he did last time, that he had decided he didn't like me. This anxiety clammed me up. But he did.

At the time I wasn't sure if having sex was the right choice, but one thing led to another. I was very attracted to him (he had an amazing body), and it was nice, but also a bit awkward since we didn't know each other well. I've never had sex so early on before, and now I understand why most women don't.

I did a few really stupid things. When we got into his room, and were touching each other without our clothes in his bed, I said, "I don't know if I want to go any further right now." He said, "OK" but sounded disappointed. Then I realized how blockheaded this was, since I would come off as a huge tease. So a few minutes later while we were kissing more I said, "do you have a condom?" He said he did in his dresser, and I said "maybe we can for just a bit." WTF? I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I felt obliged to have sex at that point, but I wanted to get to the after sex part, the part I really like where you cuddle because it's more emotionally connected. So we had sex for a little while, and then I got off of him and said, "can we stop for a bit?" We cuddled for a long time then fell asleep. He was very gentle, and seemed to want to hold me as he slept. I started having feelings for him because of this. After awhile, I told him I couldn't sleep with him holding me (which is true). I woke up at six in the morning and touched his back and he turned around and held and kissed me some more.

I don't know why, but I decided I should leave, so I kissed him goodbye (he was still in bed). Then I sent him a text as I left that said "I had a really nice time." He never responded. At 3 that afternoon I sent him another that said, "hey what's up." Usually, I wouldn't have done this, but I knew there was a possibility he didn't get the first text because the day before he told me that he hadn't gotten a few of my texts because sometimes his phone "freaks out." He didn't respond to the second text, and that was yesterday. Then just now (it's the afternoon) he logged on to aim, and he didn't message me. Eventually he changed his message to away.

Yup. I guess I'm still pretty surprised he used me. I know a lot of guys do that, but somehow he didn't seem the type -- being more reflective, shy and nerdy. Also, we spent so much time getting to know each other before the first date, talked about favorite books, hobbies, sent long messages back and forth. The night before our second date we had a long im conversation in which we talked about playing scrabble together some time soon.

I'll admit this really hurts. I wouldn't have cared had we not had sex. But it stings that he didn't even have the consideration to send me a polite email saying he was no longer interested. Also, I felt pretty close to him after the sex. It's kind of an awful feeling.

I woke up this morning feeling sick, and on the verge of throwing up.

Never again...

I'm sorry that happened to you, Shadow. That really sucks, and it is rude of him to not say anything to you. I hope you get to feeling better.