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Frustrated still at 'break up' with MM


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Old 20th December 2017, 12:46 AM   #91
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This is really just to vent - but I am feeling utterly distraught tonight.

In a nutshell, we planned to meet last Saturday for a walk, which was looking forward to. However, regrettably, I was feeling very depressed that day and Also didn't hear from him 'til midday to check where we were meeting.

Very unlike me and especially to him, I said that I would be in touch again a bit later, as I hadn't been feeling myself that day, to which he replied ok.

An hour or two later, I asked if we could still meet that afternoon/eve, to which he said he'd gone cold now, but how about meeting the following afternoon. Now, I had this family lunch booked then WEEKS ago, so said I could probably make 4pm, to which he replied 3pm preferable.

I then said that IF I am running late, that I would keep him posted and would still hope to meet anyway that day i.e when I get back.

He then accused me that that was an example why we never had a proper relationship, which I'm assuming he meant my availability? Although he NEVER put me first.

Also had been too annoying re timings and didn't want to do it anymore.

I then cancelled my place at the lunch, to be fully available that day for him, but he said he wasn't going now and that I should go.

I rang to say that I was quite upset that we weren't meeting now and asked if we could rearrange, but he said he wasn't interested and not to bother him again.

We'd been trying to meet up the past few weeks now, either at the weekend or his working from home day, when he has usually rescheduled. Apart from a previous Sat when I had asked to meet later that day, which he criticised and said (after 5.30) was a bit late for him.

We had a chat on the phone in the evening two weekends ago instead, when things were ok and was left "we'll see" re meeting. And then we were going to - and I blew it!

It was all on his timetable and evenings seemed to be out of the question.

I am finding this situation very painful, as it gave me a glimmer of hope. Now we still haven't met in ages and Xmas is coming!

I know I should get a grip and move on... Just needed someone to talk to.

Last edited by goldengirl11; 20th December 2017 at 12:52 AM..
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Old 20th December 2017, 1:05 AM   #92
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Oh, this breaks my heart....

Not because Xmas is coming and you haven't been able to meet. But, because you cancelled brunch and missed an opportunity to live your life all for a man who is showing you by his words and actions that he could care less about you or your "relationship."

Just look at the decisions that you are making here. You are choosing this man, over yourself, your family and friends, and your happiness. The cancelled brunch is such a metaphor...

Darling girl, how much more of your life are you going to waste, waiting for a man who doesn't want to be with you. I'm sorry, it's blunt but it's true.

It breaks my heart to see a woman settle for so little, when you deserve so much more than this... But, only you can decide that for yourself.
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Old 20th December 2017, 1:14 AM   #93
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He then accused me that that was an example why we never had a proper relationship, which I'm assuming he meant my availability?

...

And then we were going to - and I blew it!
He threw you a tiny crumb and then when you didn't immediately gobble it up he turned on you. And now you're blaming yourself.

TBH, this is very sad. I went through all this craziness with my MM too. I think you suffer from low self-esteem, as do I. This is something I am going to work on addressing, as I know what some of my issues are.

Maybe in the new year we can both work towards self-improvement instead of yearning after a lost cause. What do you say?
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Old 20th December 2017, 2:14 AM   #94
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Originally Posted by goldengirl11 View Post

I know I should get a grip and move on... Just needed someone to talk to.
SOOOOO Many hugs GoldenGirl. PM me if you'd like and I'll always be here to chat.

I know its always hard to get over someone you love, but this POS has given you SOOO many reasons, yet you stay? I think you've said your self esteem took the hit as well as whatever else, but at some point you've got to fix your own life. Or at least take responsibility and make the one single change that will lead to good. In this case, its blocking POS pathetic mothertrucker MM.

I know, easier said than done. Here's the thing.. We've all been where you're at now. Many of us have also been in similarly abusive relationships as well. I personally know all about holding onto someone who treats me awful, and my reasoning was that it might be hard to start over with someone else. (lame I know) But guess what happened?? After several years I FINALLY LET GO. I found -the best sex i've ever had in a man that also -treated me like a queen.

You can find your guy too! But first you've got to kick ol' limp-douche MM to the curb!!

Make it your new years resolution if thats something you'll stick to!
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Old 20th December 2017, 9:49 AM   #95
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I am dumping a ton of hugs on you GoldenGirl - listen to me. Listen to US.

It is time to take out the trash - this guy is garbage and the serious issue here is your boundaries. You do not have them.

You stand at ground zero. You need to raise your boundaries straight up from the ground - this is a very important life lesson: you need to learn to value and love yourself more than anything or anyone.

Now, breathe deeply and make it happen, you can do it.
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Old 20th December 2017, 2:53 PM   #96
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I rang to say that I was quite upset that we weren't meeting now and asked if we could rearrange, but he said he wasn't interested and not to bother him again.

Please stop chasing him. You deserve so much more than this. Don't give him another chance to tell you that he doeasn't want you.
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Old 20th December 2017, 4:20 PM   #97
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NOBODY treats another human being like this.

He's horrible to you and you let him do it. He knows he can snap his fingers and you will come running.

How could you even think of cancelling a family occasion in favour of him? Your family will be there when he is long gone.

I hope you disentangle yourself from him as soon as possible.

Best wishes,
Poppy.
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Old 20th December 2017, 4:38 PM   #98
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Oh, this breaks my heart....

Not because Xmas is coming and you haven't been able to meet. But, because you cancelled brunch and missed an opportunity to live your life all for a man who is showing you by his words and actions that he could care less about you or your "relationship."

Just look at the decisions that you are making here. You are choosing this man, over yourself, your family and friends, and your happiness. The cancelled brunch is such a metaphor...

Darling girl, how much more of your life are you going to waste, waiting for a man who doesn't want to be with you. I'm sorry, it's blunt but it's true.

It breaks my heart to see a woman settle for so little, when you deserve so much more than this... But, only you can decide that for yourself.
It says something when a internet forum full of strangers show more concern to someone than the person who claims to care for them.

op, read my sig line. Don't let that happen to you.
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Old 20th December 2017, 6:55 PM   #99
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How could you even think of cancelling a family occasion in favour of him?
And the, he doesn't even have the decency to show up! She cancelled brunch, to be fully available for him, and he didn't show up...

And then, she says "I blew it!"

Wow. Just, wow!

It does say something when an Internet forum full of strangers shows more concern than the man you believe "cares" for you... More concern for your well being than you have for yourself.

New Years Resolution for you OP, you really do need to learn to love yourself more than anything, or anyone... If you did, you would never tolerate this kind of treatment from anyone.
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Old 20th December 2017, 8:17 PM   #100
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You are addicted to a man that will never make you happy. This is what is prolonging the agony for you. If he wanted you, you'd be together. You are wasting your life over an utter slimeball

Do you get much attention from men? I'm struggling to understand why you are prepared to accept such terrible treatment, and for so long.
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Old 20th December 2017, 9:09 PM   #101
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He doesn't give two hoots about you.

He's shown that time and time again....yet you refuse to accept that.

You can only blame another person for your sadness to a certain point....after they've shown you who they are....it's your responsibility to remove the dead weight from your life.

He's not worth the muck on the bottom of your shoes.
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Old 20th December 2017, 11:56 PM   #102
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Originally Posted by wmacbride View Post
It says something when a internet forum full of strangers show more concern to someone than the person who claims to care for them.

op, read my sig line. Don't let that happen to you.
I think it's missing a word... or is that the point LOL
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Old 21st December 2017, 8:25 AM   #103
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I think it's missing a word... or is that the point LOL
Thanks for the catch. You have better eyes than mine. I think it's the new meds. They make me feel spacey...
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Old 21st December 2017, 8:29 AM   #104
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Thanks for the catch. You have better eyes than mine. I think it's the new meds. They make me feel spacey...
No problem! I was just eager to read the quote and then saw it didn’t quite add up
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